Takes

The 76ers will eventually make it to the Eastern Conference Finals.

I do believe, I truly believe, as much as I've said bad things about Philly, it's only been my honest opinion. And I do believe eventually they will make it to the Eastern Conference Finals.

Kevin Durant gained respect and status from this playoff run despite losing.

Weirdly I think Kevin Durant like gained from this. Oh yeah. I mean the shot at the end of regulation was huge and just the way this... Harden going down, Kyrie going down... 48 points where he just was so incredible... I think people appreciate Kevin Durant more than they ever have, watching him play without other players and being as incredible as he is.

Suns in four.

All I'm saying is Suns in four. Suns in four.

Bryson DeChambeau is a mentally weak golfer and a quitter.

We call him a lot of stuff, but we've never called him a quitter until today. And he quit when his giant cleats didn't save him... At that point, Bryson was like, I don't want to be out here anymore. And he quit. He is a mentally weak golfer.

England will lose in the semifinals of Euro 2020.

England is going to lose in the semifinals, although I am addicted to saying it's coming home.

F1 cars are too soft and need to be louder.

I think the cars are too loud. [Wait, no] make them a little bit softer or make them just really fucking loud... the cars are too soft. They're basically racing toy cars. It's the pussification of America, of Europe.

Every Olympic event should have a lane for a regular person to show how slow the average human is.

The Olympics, if they had a lane for just regular average people for comparison, would be so incredible. If they had the 10th lane in a swimming pool, be like, all right, let's find a 15-pound overweight guy and just let him swim just to show how slow an average person was, it would be so fascinating to watch.

Kyle Schwarber is a National for life and will win several World Series in D.C.

[Kyle Schwarber] is a Nat for life. We love him in this city. We're going to keep him running. We're going to do whatever it takes to keep Kyle Schwarber home in D.C. for as long as we can... He's going to stay in D.C., hopefully win several World Series with us, going to the Hall of Fame as a National.

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they are cooler.

Triple plays should replace no-hitters because they're cooler than no-hitters.

Defensive teams should score a run if they turn a triple play.

Actually, I think you should be able to get a run for a triple play. On defense, you should be able to score a run if you get a triple play... give us what the fans want, and that's defensive runs.

The hardest part about playing tight end is having to be an elite blocker and an elite receiver simultaneously.

I think it's the fact that you have to be good at everything. You can be an elite route runner. You can catch the ball really well... but then if you can't, like, hold your own in the run game and you can't, like, take a hit in the face by a 300-pound defensive end, then they kind of have to call plays around you instead of you being the focal point. You have to be very good at pass pro, running routes, setting the edge, being able to crack on a safety, being able to block a defensive end.

The University of Iowa is the real Tight End U.

It's Iowa [that is Tight End U]. I got Dallas Clark on my shirt right now for a reason, baby... I got Hawkinson. I got Fant in the first round. Never before done.

The University of Miami is the real Tight End U.

Miami went five tight ends in a row who were drafted in the first round... The only guy who wasn't was drafted in the second round. Going back to Miami lineage, you have Bubba Franks first round, Shockey first round, Kellen Winslow [Jr.] first round... Me, first round. Since then, we've had Jimmy Graham... David Njoku... We've had dudes now.

I would have drafted Kyle Pitts first overall in the 2021 NFL Draft.

I'm a Kyle Pitts fan. Just watched him last year. Like, the dude just scores touchdowns... I wanted him to go, like, first overall, like, to be, like, the first tight end to ever go first. I get it, but I would have drafted him first.

Super Bowl winning teams always have a talented tight end, so the position should be paid more.

If you look at the last year, 10 Super Bowls, I think every team that's won has had a very, very talented tight end. So, like, it has to do with winning Super Bowls. So, I mean, I think that's the most important thing, so you might as well pay the tight ends.

I am completely and utterly done with football and will not come out of retirement.

I am not going to be coming out of retirement. I'm completely and utterly done. I've set a record for how many times I've broken and ruptured my feet. So I'm full-time dad and part-time broadcaster.

Reggie Miller was right about resting Kevin Durant and James Harden in Game 6

Reggie Miller was right. If you forgot, Reggie Miller basically said after game five, rest Kevin Durant, James Harden for game seven. Don't even play them. They played. They lost.

Kevin Durant might be the best player in the NBA

If you lose in Game 7 and Kevin Durant does what he did in Game 5... there's some piece in, like, that guy's way better than anyone we have. That guy might be the best player in the NBA.

Bryson DeChambeau is a 'pussy' for refusing to play with Brooks Koepka

Bryson sucks today. Brooks is awesome. Bryson sucks. Brooks was tied for the lead. And then because Bryson didn't want to play with Brooks because he's too big of a pussy to do it, he had to play with a harder course in the afternoon, which basically skulls fucked him.

If the Sixers lose the series in six games, the franchise should consider blowing up 'The Process'

Right now, if the Sixers lose this series in six, hope is gone. Hope is out the window. I would be firing up the trade machine and seeing how many picks you can get for Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons to just restart the process.

Doc Rivers is the all-time greatest coach at choking away playoff victories

Doc Rivers... is also, like, sneakily the all-time greatest basketball coach at choking away fourth-quarter victories in the playoffs. And also series leads in the playoffs. Doc, this is like a habit for Doc.

The Hawks might have been right for choosing Trae Young over Luka Doncic

We're seeing now, were the Hawks right for taking Trae Young and not Luka Doncic? Maybe. So there you go. That's really when you know that you got a good one, when we're doing the revisionist history.

Ben Simmons should shoot more in the 4th quarter, even if he misses everything

I actually think if I were Ben Simmons, strategy going into game six, I would just shoot all the time in the fourth quarter. Because I really do believe if Ben Simmons went one for seven in the fourth quarter, it would be better than shooting one time in the last four games in the fourth quarter. That's basically giving up.

In today's NBA, your best player cannot be a center in the 4th quarter

I blame the roster construction and the fact that in today's NBA, your best player can't be a center in the 4th quarter when you need guys who can make their own shot, like at all times. It's hard to play center when your point guard can't shoot.

Paul George deserves credit for stepping up for the Clippers without Kawhi Leonard

Playoff P deserves all the credit. We rag on him all the time. Well, guess what? He just went 37-16-5 in Utah, played incredible defense, put the team on their back. That was a really, really great game, and he deserves a lot of credit being like, hey, he does show up in the playoffs.

Ernie Adams is not actually retired; he is Bill Belichick's secret 'COVID guy'

I do like to indulge in a bit of conspiracy thinking like Ernie Adams retirement. I don't think that he is retired. I think he's going to be Bill Belichick's like COVID guy. That like, you know, he'll drop in and pass off a few injections, cough on the right people, make sure that certain unvaccinated players aren't ready to play when they're going against the Patriots.

The Chicago Bears are bid posturing for a stadium renovation by looking at Arlington Heights

The Bears did release a statement that they're putting in a bid to buy Arlington International Racetrack... everyone's actually I don't think a lot of people are freaking out. I actually think it's smart of them. They're probably just posturing to get a renovation of Soldier Field.

LeBron James always makes up excuses when he loses to fit his personal narrative

No, I mean, listen, that's LeBron 101. When he loses, he makes up excuses, and whatever fits his narrative, that's what he puts up. It's lose, and then he's going to put up a million Instagram stories... whatever fits his narrative, that's what he puts up.

I am 'mojacked' than Tyrann Mathieu

I think I'm definitely mojacked than Tyrann. I respect the fact that you said that. I'm actually glad you said it, but I don't think he would agree. I feel I would get squashed in an instant, but...

I could beat up a kangaroo in a fight

Do you think I could fight a kangaroo and beat him up? stand up for me I'm like I'm six two big boy two 40 50 whatever i also can crush wind pipes pretty easily yeah.

If I could do it all over again, I might not choose to be an F1 driver because of the lack of control

If I could do it all over again, like, I don't know if I would pick this sport [F1] because there's so many other variables and so much out of your control. So you could perform perfectly and something might end it for you.

Christian Horner's obsession with Max Verstappen is 'weird as fuck'

Christian Horner... he is obsessed with Max [Verstappen] and obviously rightfully so but it's it's a little weird sometimes he talks about him like he is his son and there is some some serious love there. [Ricciardo]: Yeah. No, it's weird as fuck.

I will have a visible six-pack by the end of the summer

I'll have a six pack. You will never have a six pack. [Hank]: Yes, I will. All right. Great. How much time? Give me a month. By the end of the summer. Six pack summer. You're going to have a visible six pack? [Hank]: Yes.

Black bears are 'pussies' that humans can beat in a fight

Black bears, actual pussies. I saw you. You were right on that video. You could beat the shit out of a black bear. You snuffed that out. I appreciate that. Black bears would run like pots and pans get rid of black bears. Black fight back. brown lay down lay down white say good night boom there it is that's how you handle bears.

Daniel Ricciardo is a fake Australian because he failed to mention 'drop bears'

I don't think Ricciardo is actually from Australia. Because, one, he didn't make a drop bear comment, which is like Australia 101... and kangaroos are actually dangerous, and he wasn't actually down with the animals in Australia. He's probably from Chile.

T-Rexes lived closer in time to humans than they did to Stegosauruses

T-Rex are closer to humans in time than they are to stegosauruses. Whoa. So T-Rexes and humans are 65 million years apart. Stegosauruses and T-Rexes are 85 million years apart.

Kevin Durant's legacy as a top 25 player of all time is now cemented

That 2010 to 2020... that was him cementing himself as, okay, you're a top 50 player of all time. Now, you know, you're a top 25 player of all time. Now, this decade... Sky's the limit. This is where his legacy is made and it started tonight [with 49-17-10].

The Bucks will win Game 6 and force a Game 7 against the Nets

I do think the Bucks are going to win game six. I think it's going to go seven.

LeBron James is not a great dunker because he doesn't hang on the rim

This is why LeBron James is not a great dunker, in my opinion. You have to hang on to the rim for just like a split second. You've got to make the rim move... Sometimes he acts like the rim is like a hot oven rack. He just taps it and pulls his hand away.

Giannis Antetokounmpo and Ben Simmons need to change their free throw routines to break their mental blocks

I do think that for [Ben] Simmons and Giannis [Antetokounmpo], obviously they're not great shooters regardless, but I do think it's a lot mental. And they just have to change something that they do, some routine that they do to change up the mental aspect of it. Like, if I were Giannis, the minute I got passed the ball, I'd just fucking shoot it right away.

NBA players should be allowed to jump from the free throw line and lay the ball in mid-air because 'airspace' shouldn't count

I'm an advocate for laying the ball into the basket before you hit the ground. Air doesn't count, man. Airspace does not count in basketball. It's where your foot is... It's almost physically impossible to do, but it's not impossible.

Bryson DeChambeau turned down playing with Brooks Koepka because he's a pussy

It's my understanding as a reporter that Bryson [DeChambeau] actively turned it down because he's a pussy and Batman wouldn't eat him.

Tua Tagovailoa's training camp interceptions will fuel the 'Alabama QBs are busts' narrative all season

Tua threw approximately 300 interceptions in practice yesterday. And so now... there's going to be reporters that fire up a tweet every single time he throws an interception in training camp. It's going to snowball, and then that's going to feed right back into the Alabama quarterbacks can't play.

MLB is incompetent for banning sticky substances in the middle of the season

The spider attack controversy that they knew about forever and decided, hey, we're going to now start punishing people. They went zero tolerance policy... Tyler Glasnow... is basically saying he got injured because of it... Good job, MLB. You really fucking did it again, you idiots.

The Bears naming Andy Dalton QB1 with no competition is stupid

Only the Bears. Only Matt Nagy would name his QB one before you even have training camp... What I'm not okay with is being like, there's no competition. Every successful football team ever basically is like, yeah, it's always a competition.

The next Madden cover will be Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes

Tom Brady and... Mahomes, my guess.

Football coaching is a 'shitty profession' because it makes you miserable even if you are successful

I would never coach there [Vanderbilt]. That's a shitty profession. It has to be miserable. Even if you're the greatest at your job and you're winning national championships, you're allowed to be happy for about 30 minutes, and then it's back to being miserable.

Matthew Stafford will 'blow it up' with the Rams because of the superior coaching and play-calling in Los Angeles

I think [Stafford] is going to blow it up. Coaching staff's good. He's going to have some of the best play calling he's ever had in his life. And he's still talented. Dude can throw it. He's competitive.

Matthew Stafford is a future Hall of Famer

I think [Stafford] is a future Hall of Famer. People get mad at me for that. But... if he plays for another, I don't know, four or five years, he will be, like numbers-wise, up there with everyone else.

The Phoenix Suns will beat the Clippers in four games if they meet in the Western Conference Finals

If it does go to Clippers versus Suns, I think we have a real chance of Suns in four again.