Takes

Damian Lillard would not play well with LeBron James

I actually don't think that he [Lillard] would play well with LeBron. I mean, they would just win a title. But it wouldn't be fun for me to watch personally. No, it wouldn't be fun for anyone.

Ben Simmons does not love basketball

I do think Ben Simmons is probably one of those guys who falls in the camp of he's really good at basketball but probably doesn't love basketball. Because you can't love basketball and just never fix the fact that you can't shoot. Right?

Anthony Davis is a real Laker while LeBron James is a mercenary

This LeBron thing has kind of grown on me a little bit... He's a mercenary, though. [Anthony Davis], real Laker. That guy's a real fucking Laker.

The Las Vegas Raiders stadium is the best-looking stadium in the NFL

That's a great stadium, isn't it? I love it. When you drive past it, it's like a metallic black. I've never seen that color before... It just pops in your face.

The pins on the golf course are currently screwing over the players

Maybe I should be yelling at, maybe you guys should be making a fuss about these pins. Like, I mean, we could talk about any other shot... the pin screwed me.

I will wear red every Sunday until Tiger Woods returns to golf

I always wear red every Sunday. Every Sunday until Tiger's back. I'm going to catch you. That's a fact. I've been doing it since he got hurt. Months. Yeah, months and months.

NC State are the real national champions of college baseball

NC State got screwed. Wolfpack are my national champions. They actually did a parade, and they had everyone come to the stadium. They said, we're the national champs. If UCF can do it, why can't NC State?

Ferrari is going to be awesome in F1 next year due to new regulations

I heard on the street that Ferrari's going to be awesome. Oh, because of the new regulations or some shit. So we'll get in now, and then we look like geniuses. Just saying. That might just be big Ferrari, though.

Chris Paul was selfish for rushing back too fast from COVID protocols

I think Chris Paul was selfish tonight, Big Cat, in that he rushed himself back too fast. He did. And he needed to wait. Chris Paul needed to wait a little bit longer, come back. He was not the Chris Paul that we know.

With Cam Payne and Kawhi Leonard both out, there are 'no excuses' left in the Suns vs. Clippers series

Cam Payne did get hurt. He only played four minutes. That changes the whole series. You can confidently say there's no excuses left on the table. The Clippers are without their best guy, Kawhi. The Suns are without their best guy, Cam Payne.

The 2018 NBA Draft should be redrafted to consider Trae Young over Luka Doncic

The best thing I said about [Trae Young] was that we now have to redraft the 2018 NBA draft. Because that's the biggest – Luka, how could you pick Trae Young ahead of – or how could you – the trade that went down where the Hawks basically traded back and they're like, you take Luka, we'll take Trae Young. So I think that that's actually... yeah, it's a discussion.

I can mentally picture Trae Young winning an NBA championship

I'm going to overreact and say that for the first time, I was able to picture, mentally, Trae Young winning a national championship — NBA championship, yeah. I can mentally see the confetti falling down on his weird hair.

Scottie Pippen is definitively a top 25 NBA player of all time

Scottie Pippen's the top 25 player of all time. ... I think he's comfortably in top 35 and then top 25. He's bubble top 25.

Scottie Pippen is not clearly a top 25 NBA player of all time

I'm just still going through my head right now because it feels like Scottie Pippen is not clearly a top 25 NBA player of all time. And I'm doing names. Are you willing to stand by that take? I had a poster when I was a kid... And Scottie Pippen was like controversially on the list of top 50.

LeBron James is definitively a top 25 NBA player of all time

Write that down. Can you stop the beeping again? Write that down. Big Cat said something nice about LeBron. He is a top 25 NBA player of all time. That was huge of me.

The Nassau Coliseum has the best Wi-Fi of any stadium

The biggest thing I could not figure out... is the fact that we went to the Nassau Coliseum. The venue's a dump. It's a time travel. By far and away the best Wi-Fi I've ever had inside of a stadium. The Wi-Fi was incredible... I was on the Wi-Fi and it was fucking humming. It was better than Barstool's Wi-Fi.

Jay Williams' 'hacked' excuse is an all-time idiot move

Jay Williams, all time idiot, like dumb tweet. And then on top of all that, he deletes it and waits like three hours and says... I did not post that. And my passcode has now been changed. So just like every hacker usually sets up, they spend years at hacking school so that they can one day tweet from Jay Williams' account that the Celtics hired the first black head coach.

Lacrosse is solved if you just run as fast as you can down the middle and shoot

I feel like if you just run as fast as you can right in the middle and just shoot it, you score every time. ... I get frustrated because I'm like, dude, just fucking run in the middle.

Lacrosse should use the term 'power play' rather than 'man-up'

People keep coming at me being like, hey, dude, it's man-up. It's like, dude, they say power play. It's a fucking power play... because what you have then on the women's game is they're saying woman up. And it's become a gender thing... Nope. It's a power play. They're on the power.

I am retiring from professional lacrosse very soon

how long how much longer are you gonna play for real? Not much longer. Really? Yeah. I'm 35... I get checked now, and I have bruises that last for weeks. So it's actually going to... My hips crack in the morning, my knees crack.

It will be 'officially bad' for Lacrosse if the Whipsnakes win a third consecutive title

Whipsnakes [won] two times? So they're bad for lacrosse. If they win the third time, that's bad for lacrosse, officially.

George R.R. Martin is 'completely lying' about working on the next Game of Thrones book

I don't think he's written a single word. If you look at anything that he's said in the press recently, I think he's just completely lying about it. I don't think he's started the next book at all.

Giving blood is the best way to save money on drinking

But the great thing about giving blood is if you give blood, you get drunk off like half a beer afterwards. So it's actually very economical. I'm just trying to be an ambassador for health.

I will be the play-by-play announcer for the PLL doubleheader on July 31st

It is happening. July 31st, a doubleheader. I'm [on] Peacock. I will be doing the play-by-play. It would not be possible without all of you guys in here. Paul Rabil was a big advocate.

DeAndre Ayton is officially asserting himself in the same elite tier as Luka Doncic and Trae Young

DeAndre Ayton... He's a fucking beast, man. He's like DeAndre Ayton showing up to the whole Trae Young, Luka Doncic, that draft ruled discussion being like, I rule too. I'm awesome on defense and offense.

DeMarcus Cousins' push on Devin Booker should have been a flagrant foul

Yeah, so that [DeMarcus Cousins pushing Devin Booker] should have been called, that should have been like a flagrant foul, right?

Game 2 was a backbreaker for the Clippers unless Kawhi Leonard returns

That does feel like a backbreaker for the Clippers. Unless Kawhi comes back. I don't know how you recover from that.

The Montreal Canadiens are a 'wagon' and are going to win the Stanley Cup in a year without fans

How do you say wagon in French? I think it's just Waggon. Le Waggon. Le Rouge Rider Waggon. Yeah, they're amazing. ... fitting for a Canadian team to win the Stanley Cup in a year where there can't be fans.

The NFL is ready for gay players and the vast majority of players will be supportive

It speaks to something that Cyd Zeigler has been saying for a while. ... He's been saying this for years, which is like the NFL is ready for it. The players for the vast, vast majority are going to be supportive when it does happen. It'll almost be like a joyous occasion when it does happen.

DK Metcalf is the straightest player in the NFL

I was just going to say DK Metcalf is still the straightest player in the NFL.

The 'You're not that guy, pal' clip will be the clip of the summer

Pretty much, it's a great clip, but I think that's going to be the clip of the summer. Everything you do with your friends, your coworkers, pretty much anything... you're going to see comments about you're not that guy.

Matthew Stafford will win NFL MVP

Sean McVay was talking to Albert Breer and said, bro, this dude's a bad motherfucker. Whatever people say about him, as good as it can be, he's even better than advertised. ... I saw it. I saw the future. MVP.

Matthew Stafford is a Hall of Famer

Dude, I'm rooting for Matt Stafford because there's a few takes that we all have out there that are just lingering, and Matt Stafford being a Hall of Famer, I could retire on that take.

Tom Brady was talking about the 49ers and Jimmy Garoppolo when he said 'you're sticking with that motherfucker?'

Tom was talking about the courtship, the quarterback courtship that happened last year. And there was one team in particular where he said, really, you're going to stick with that motherfucker over me? ... Sabermetrically, it's also most likely to be Phillip Rivers. ... [Billy: I think it was Garoppolo] Actually, that is who it is. No, I really do think that's who it is.

College schools will soon use server farms to mine crypto for recruits

Schools are allowed to provide as many education-related expenses as they want to players. ... You could, in theory, provide an athlete with an entire dorm room filled with servers for them to mine cryptocurrency in that dorm room. ... LSU could be like, hey, we're going to build a new dorm called the Arch Manning Dormitory. ... you can just generate money for yourself while you're here.

Skip Bayless has an investigative team searching athletes' wives' Instagram followers

There's very clearly a person behind the scenes working for Skip Bayless that has Skip Bayless's brain and does all the things online. ... and he just feeds Skip Bayless crap all day, and it just ends up on TV. Like his little private investigator for him.

Robert Griffin III has found his future career as an analyst

So ESPN and Fox are in a bidding war for him as an analyst. Whoa. So it looks like he found his future career. ... The executives were, quote, blown away by his audition.

AEW exists because WCW vacated the prime TNT/TBS television slot

AEW exists, in my opinion, because of the failure of WCW because they vacated this great time slot, this great relationship with TNT and TBS that we have. And that was the success of WCW was the outlet, the penetration they had from TNT, TBS, and, of course, the fans.

WCW failed because they gave creative control to wrestlers

I think some of the things that went wrong for WCW, in my opinion, were the creative control. They gave creative control to a lot of the wrestlers. And some of the storylines are asinine. ... Most wrestling companies that have been really successful over time have had, like, one supreme commander at the top who's, like, owned it, booked, like, done everything top to bottom.

Urban Meyer is an awesome person who will have his players' backs

Urban's great, man. ... He's changed my life in the six months I've known him... And the way he motivates people, and I know you're not going to want to hear it if you don't like him, but if you get to know him, there is something about him. ... I'm just saying, if he came in here and you worked with him, you'd love him. He would have your back on anything.

AEW Rampage and Dynamite will both be strong shows ten years from now

If both shows are really strong, if Dynamite and Rampage are both really strong shows 10 years from now, hopefully even stronger than now, I would be so proud.

Facing Jacob deGrom is like going into a test knowing you're going to fail

Yeah, it was a major suck. He shoved it last night. It's like going into a test knowing you're going to fail, like, there's nothing you can do. He's just going to overpower you, and you're going to walk back to the dugout saying, I don't know what I'm doing out here. ... The first pitch I barely even saw.

I would compete in the Home Run Derby if asked

If you were asked to do the home run derby, will you do it? Oh, heck yeah. Okay, so there we go. Perfect. Patrick Wisdom says that he would do the home run derby.

Alex Caruso should have had a 'fall guy' to avoid his marijuana arrest

Alex Caruso, NBA player, NBA stud, but I feel like the only place where he really probably gets that full stud treatment is Texas A&M. ... you definitely should have a fall guy.

MLB is stupid for cracking down on 'sticky stuff' in the middle of a season

My whole point is you should fix it, but don't fix it in the middle of the season only after it becomes public because you feel like a fool for letting it go on and having it be an open secret for so long. ... Just because they got exposed, they're going to swing the pendulum of justice so hard. ... It's so stupid.

Ryen Russillo would 'snap Hank in half' in a fight

Dude, he would... No offense, but [Ryen] Russillo would snap you in half. ... if you versus Russillo, you're not that guy.

Wingstop changing their name to Thighstop is due to a national wing shortage

My hot seat is Wings. Wingstop is now Thighstop due to the national wing shortage. There was a three-time price increase in Wings, so it actually had... been a better investment to invest in Wings than... some cryptos right now.

The Process is officially dead.

Today is Monday, June 21st, and the process is dead. We had a good run. This was going to be the postseason where we judged whether or not processes actually work. Turns out they don't.

Ben Simmons proves that you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

I always thought that saying the Wayne Gretzky-Michael Scott quote didn't really make that much sense. [Ben Simmons] actually proves that you do, in fact, miss 100% of the shots that you don't take.

Ben Simmons will still have trade value because a team will believe they can fix him.

I think [Ben Simmons] still will have trade value because someone will think, I can fix that. I can make him better because he still has elite levels to his game. It's just the whole point of shooting a basketball into a hoop is the game, and he just doesn't want to do that.