Takes

The Wizards core needs to be blown up

The Wizards need to be blown up. We said this on the show. That core does not work.

Paul George is actually 'Playoff Passive' because he turtles in big moments

Playoff P was such a playoff P that, I mean, I've never seen anyone be more, it's actually playoff passive is what it stands for because he turtles in big moments. And the fact that he gave himself the nickname, playoff P after game one, is one of the most embarrassing things you could ever do.

Russell Westbrook is the most likely NBA player to kill a teammate

Also, you have to deal with Westbrook, who's probably the most likely to kill somebody in the NBA. I could see him murdering a teammate.

Paul George is going to stay with the Oklahoma City Thunder

And I actually do think Playoff P [Paul George] is going to stay.

Carmelo Anthony's four Olympic gold medals make his legacy more impressive than LeBron James's three NBA rings

LeBron has three rings. Melo has... four gold medals... he won four gold medals against the best competition in the world. LeBron's limiting... LeBron shines big on the small stage. Just asking that question.

Brad Stevens is the best coach in the NBA

And then the Celtics are, I mean, we've said this before, but Brad Stevens is the best coach in the league.

Due to the 'Parallax Effect,' there has actually never been a goal scored in the history of hockey

There's a little something called the parallax effect... Depending on where you're standing in the arena, the puck can never be in the net. So we're good... That was not a goal. That was a great call by the official. The presence of mind to use the parallax effect in the middle of a game... you can't teach that.

Tom Wilson's hit on Brian Dumoulin was clean

I think it was a pretty clean hit, too. So he was skating behind the guy, right? It was Dumo. So Dumo was a friend of the show. So Dumo was skating, and then Wilson was behind him, and then Dumo just hit the brakes and almost threw his head into Wilson's shoulder.

The Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I feel pretty good. I think this is our year. Yeah. I feel pretty good. Yeah, I feel like this is all going nicely for us.

Every draft grade list should be required to give at least one F

Mel Kiper's grades are so fucking funny. He won't give anyone an F, which is bullshit. Like, if you do grades, you should have to give at least one F. You should have to.

Mel Kiper Jr. is only 1-for-13 all-time at correctly identifying franchise starting quarterbacks

He's like one in 13 all time [on identifying] starting quarterback[s].

I will eat one bite of horse shit if the Capitals beat the Penguins

I think you should have to eat shit if they beat the Penguins. Agreed. Just one bite. I'm not saying... Just one bite. Everyone knows the rules. ... Caps beat the Penguins. We're going to Central Park, and PFT's going to eat some shit. Just one bite.

Floyd Mayweather's quickness would prevent Conor McGregor from taking him down in an MMA fight

[Mayweather] would punch [Conor McGregor] like 20 times by the time he got to him.

I would win a one-on-one war for the United States against any other country's best fighter

Do you think that you would be the United States' best guy if we were to fight a one-on-one war against some other country? 100%. So you could win an entire war by yourself. Well, not a whole war. Like just one-on-one? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Against anyone in the world. 100%.

No matter where we go in our careers, people will try to take us down for our past

It's almost liberating because it taught me that no matter where we go with our careers, people are going to try to take me down for my past. And that's fine because at this point, the biggest takeaway was don't get caught in a situation where internal politics and people with an ax to grind can determine your fate.

Going to ESPN was a mistake fueled by the brand's legacy seduction

I think it was a mistake for sure. It was a mistake to go back to ESPN. I'll be honest. We got, speaking for myself at least, got a little bit seduced by the fact that, hey, we're going to be on ESPN. I mean, I grew up watching ESPN. It's a brand.

Sometimes you don't need legacy media to reach the 'next level' in your career; you can reach it on your own

The natural evolution of what we had created on the podcast was putting it on some kind of television platform... when in reality, the lesson I learned... Sometimes the next level isn't needed. Sometimes you go to the next level on your own.

Television as a medium is dying

Yeah, that's the problem they're having is TV's dying. Right. Nobody watches TV anymore. It is, but it isn't. It's dying.

Jason Witten is the hottest prospect in the sports analyst market

When the hell did Jason Witten become the hottest piece of ass on the analyst circuit? ... Jason Witten just became the hottest prospect in the analyst market.

Jason Witten is a surefire Hall of Famer

[Jason Witten] will be [a Hall of Famer].

If you played for the Cowboys in the last 15 years, a media gig is waiting for you

If you played for the Dallas Cowboys in the last 15 years, you have a media gig that's waiting for you. T.O. in the booth. They should put T.O. and McNabb in the booth together.

Salvador Perez just booked himself a trip to the Hall of Fame by banning swearing

I think Salvador Perez just booked himself a trip to Cooperstown because if you want to get the Baseball Writers of America on your side, just ban swearing after home runs.

Filling up your gas tank more often for $20 saves you $60 compared to an $80 full tank

You're saving yourself 60 bucks because you're only paying 20. So I think Shaq's right. Yeah. Okay. All right.

Baker Mayfield will be a successful quarterback for the Cleveland Browns

I actually think this [Baker Mayfield] is going to work, and I know that's like stepping out on a very, very thin branch saying a Browns quarterback that they drafted really high might actually work, but I like Baker Mayfield. I like him a lot. I think that he is a very, very good quarterback and I like the competitiveness.

Josh Allen is a perfect fit for the Buffalo Bills because he has big hands for the cold weather

I think that's a great fit for Bills Mafia. I think it's a great fit for, you know, people forget it's cold. Cold, windy, snowy up there. Big hands. Josh Allen checks off all those boxes. Fucking awesome.

Josh Rosen is the best passer in the 2018 NFL Draft class

Josh Rosen, I like Josh Rosen. I had him ranked number one on the Big Cat Big Board because I think he's the best passer.

Jon Gruden is drafting like he is officially drunk

John Gruden is officially drunk. John Gruden traded the 10th pick for the 15th pick. So he moved back five spots in the draft and only picked up a third and a fifth... and then he picked a guy [Kolton Miller] who everyone said would be like a third or fourth rounder.

The Bears drafting Roquan Smith means the Chicago defense is officially back

The Bears picked the best player in the entire draft. Roquan Smith probably should have won the Heisman. Bears defense is back.

NFL running backs are entering a new age of resurgence

People are talking shit about drafting a running back. Guess what? We are now living in the resurgence age of running backs.

The Capitals are the better team than the Penguins and will win the series

We're the better team on the ice tonight. We're the better team overall. You can count that. It's fine. It's 1-0 Caps. ... I don't give a shit if the Capitals lose the Stanley Cup... as long as we beat the Penguins. I'm going to cash that ticket.

LeBron James is the best athlete in world history

LeBron James is the best athlete in world history, as I've long said.

I respect Eli Manning's move to force a trade on draft day

I respect the hell out of that move [forcing a trade like the Mannings did], but no, whoever decided that they wanted me, I was just going to be happy and go play for them.

Until the Capitals actually beat the Penguins, I will never pick them to win a playoff series

Until Washington does it, I will never pick them to beat Pittsburgh. ... Crossy's the best player in the world. I know it. But he is. And he turns it on in the playoffs. ... and I just am not picking the Capitals. I'm not doing it.

The Vegas Golden Knights are the greatest expansion team in sports history

I mean, it's the best expansion team in the history of pro sports. I mean, that's saying something.

The Nashville Predators are winning the Stanley Cup

I'm on Nashville because I picked them to win the cup, and I have a big futures bet riding on them.

I hate the NBA and the entire league is disgusting

The whole thing is disgusting to me. I haven't changed my opinion on any of it. I hate the NBA.

'I had diarrhea' and 'Our country's national debt' are the two best excuses of all time

Listen, as far as I'm concerned, the two best excuses of all time are, I had diarrhea. Nobody asks you any more details. ... and, hey, do you know how much money we owe to China? What the fuck does it matter?

Meek Mill going to prison was actually great PR because it made everyone forget that Drake murdered him in a rap beef

I think this is great PR for Meek Mill. I think he's totally, like, everyone's forgotten about [the Drake beef]. ... Now he's a hero.

I'm officially canceling Russell Westbrook

I've canceled Russell Westbrook. He's canceled. He's done. I, white girl, can't even with him anymore. Dude, you know how lame you have to be to get owned by Mitt Romney? I mean, and Mitt Romney owned him. He showed him how many fouls he had.

The Thunder are trash and are not legitimate competitors

I'm done with anyone talking about the Thunder. I said this pre-playoffs. I called this. I said they are trash, and I do not want to hear about the Thunder being any kind of, like, even close to a competitor.

Paxton Lynch is a first-round bust who will only play a handful of games in the NFL

Paxton Lynch is a first-round draft pick that plays like three games in the NFL. ... I called that one because I watched that one game where he threw five interceptions in the bowl game... he fucking sucked.

The Houston Rockets are too mentally weak to win the Western Conference

The Rockets almost have me questioning my original take of them being too mentally weak to win it in the West. I think that they... We'll talk about it later.

The Washington Capitals are better this year because they are actually worse than last year

The Washington Capitals, they are better this year because they're actually worse than they were last year, okay? ... The fact that the Capitals are not as good, they're not as deep... It means that they're winning ugly is what I'm getting at. ... we've tried being by far the best team talent-wise. That hasn't worked. So let's give it a shot being a little bit shittier than them.

Gary Bettman is an expert at drawing attention to every product except for the NHL

Gary [Bettman] is at it again. He scheduled the second round playoff game between the Penguins and the Capitals for Thursday night, right up against the NFL draft. ... He knows how to draw attention to any product but his own.

Josh Rosen's concussion history is a major red flag for NFL teams

My biggest concern with Josh Rosen is – He had two concussions last year where he missed games, right? ... What we know about brain injuries now— If that guy, after he gets drafted third by the Jets, let's say, and it's $30 million guaranteed ... if he gets a concussion in September... I would be – there's a big risk there.

Quentin Nelson is the best player in the 2018 NFL Draft

I think the best player in the draft is Quentin Nelson, but I'm a biased O-line lover. ... He's a guy at night before I go to bed, I might put on some Quentin Nelson highlights just to watch him.

Josh Rosen will fall further in the draft than people think

I'm going to go with Rosen to fall. Really? I think Darnold goes one. I think maybe some Barkley or a quarterback at two. I think Mayfield at three. I think [Rosen] ends up falling faster than people think.

D.J. Moore is the best wide receiver in the 2018 NFL Draft

[The best wide receiver in this draft is] D.J. Moore from Maryland.

Derrius Guice is the best running back in the 2018 NFL Draft

I have a hot take for you. I think the best running back in the draft is [Derrius] Guice. ... Two years ago, I thought Guice was going to be the better NFL prospect than Leonard Fournette, and Fournette had a great rookie season. I still think Guice is going to be better than him.

Derrius Guice will have a better NFL career than Leonard Fournette

Two years ago, I thought [Derrius] Geis was going to be the better NFL prospect than Leonard Fournette, and Fournette had a great rookie season. I still think Geis is going to be better than him.