Takes

Drinking alcohol during the offseason is a bad idea because it causes inflammation

When you're recovering from something, [it's] not the best look to be just chugging beers... you put alcohol in your body, inflammation. [It's] not good for you. You need to start dialing in.

There was a 30% chance Taylor Swift would attend the Beer Olympics

I've heard from multiple reports that Will said there was a 30% chance that Taylor Swift was gonna come to the beer Olympics... You never know. I think there's still a chance she might show up... when Dave was really wasn't on board, he was like, you could get me back. If you get Taylor Swift there. Right. Okay. So we're like, okay, there's a shot.

I can chug a beer faster than Taylor Lewan

I can chug faster than Taylor... [Lewan] put it down in like 3.8 seconds... the boot? ... I can't [do] that. One beer. [But] I beat Dana Beers too.

I am officially retired from drinking games

I retired from drinking games. I put out a press release... I'm just washed, dude. I'm so washed... I retired from drinking games. What led to the retirement? I'm just washed, dude... you're never supposed to retire right after the season... I left myself open to unretire, but I'm retired as of right now.

I psyched out Waka Flocka Flame by showing him my testicles during the Beer Olympics

I showed my testicles to Waka Flocka Flame and psyched them out. So that's, that's a major dub that did happen. He got so freaked out by my nuts. He was like, what the fuck is that? I, I did the old trick of, oops, I slipped in and fell in some gum. Didn't know what to do with it. Got him.

Jerry West will remain the NBA logo forever because he passed away before it could be changed

Now we're not talking about changing the logo anymore after [Jerry West] died. He's gonna be the logo for probably forever. But at the time when he was alive, they were like, we should maybe change it to Michael Jordan. Now you can't change it.

The ultimate drunk question to ask the boys is if you should 'call your guy'

Be safe out there kids, but should I call my guy? ... I think we all know what that means. Should I call my guy? That's a good pick.

The staple of being drunk with the boys is making aggressive plans for the next day that you won't keep

Making super aggressive plans for the next day that you're not gonna do [is a staple of being drunk with the boys]... like let's run it back tomorrow. Let's get brunch tomorrow. You know that nobody's gonna wake up before 10:00 AM.

Jalen Hurts is definitely a good NFL quarterback

Everyone knows that Jalen Hurts is good quarterback. Is he? Yeah. Jalen Hurts is the guy.

Everyone has one friend who thinks every woman they interact with is into them

Everyone has that one friend that thinks every chick is into him. You're like, dude, that's just not possible.

The Boston Celtics championship parade was the biggest in NBA history

Biggest, biggest parade in NBA championship history. Is that a fact? 1.5 million people.

If the Oilers win Game 7, it will be the most iconic moment in Stanley Cup Finals history

This would be, I think, the most iconic moment in Stanley Cup finals history. If they're able to pull [off the comeback].

'Hawk Tua' will be the number one fantasy football team name for 2024

I think we can already say that's the number one fantasy football team name for 2024, right? Hawk Tua.

If you protest at a sporting event, your punishment should be getting hit with a ball from that sport

Your punishment should just be directly related to the sport. They should have to go stand at the tee box and Scottie Scheffler and Tom Kim get the tee one like right at them. That's what it should be.

The Las Vegas Sphere is a mind-blowing experience that exceeds all high expectations

Anyone who is thinking about going to the Sphere, do it. It was mind-blowing. The expectations were high and they blew them out of the water. I did have that thought of like, will I ever be able to go back to real life because it was that cool.

The USMNT's Copa America match against Uruguay will be their first real test

Uruguay is gonna be a good game. They're very good. We beat the dastardly Bolivians... Panama, they stink. And then Uruguay, they're always good in these tournaments.

Clutch Sports trying to nitpick Michael Jordan's 1988 stats is a desperate admission of defeat in the GOAT debate

I don't understand how you can look at this and not be like, this is the pettiest saddest thing possible. If you have to try to tear down MJ to elevate LeBron, you've already lost in my opinion. If you have to go back in time and trying to nitpick stats, you're essentially admitting that you've lost.

Connor McDavid is the greatest athlete in the world right now

Connor McDavid and him being the greatest athlete in the world right now, better at his sport than any other person is at their sport.

Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final will go to overtime

I think it's going overtime, which I didn't think it ever happened. Somebody told me it did. It might've been in the twenties or thirties for all I know. But game seven overtime for the Stanley Cup. I feel like this season's been so crazy that it might happen tonight.

The Oilers' penalty kill is currently unstoppable and makes opponents look incompetent

Their PK has been outstanding since... it's clipping like 94%. It's just unstoppable what they've done. Every other team's power play becomes really bad against the Oilers. For Florida, there's so much skill there, but they're standing still and Edmonton pressures. They're getting breakaways shorthanded, they're scoring shorthanded goals.

Connor Brown will completely change the narrative of his season if the Oilers win the Cup

Connor Brown was brought in this year... he didn't score for about 65 games. It was a nightmare for the guy. And I said before the playoffs, like, it doesn't matter how bad you are in the regular season, you can change the entire discussion of your season based on a playoff performance. If that third line can get a goal... Edmonton goes on and wins the Stanley Cup.

Chris Paul will never win a championship

Second pick is gonna be Chris Paul. Chris Paul can't win the big one. Just can't do it. He's never gonna win the big one.

Caitlin Clark is officially on the 'can't win the big one' list until she wins a professional title

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She literally college cannot win the big one and I don't know what else you could say about it. That's gonna get people real mad. Angel Reese can win the big one, she's a better winner.

The JJ Redick hiring is huge for the podcast community because it proves podcasters can do anything.

JJ Redick, coach of the Lakers... my first thought was, it's huge for the podcast community. It is. Us podcasters can do anything.

We are competing against the 'juice ball era' of podcasting where every show uses gimmicks and stunts to get numbers.

PFT and I want it on the record that we've always done this podcast Natural. We've never, we've never dated Taylor Swift. Nope. We've never became the, the Lakers head coach. It's the juice ball era. It is. It's crazy. Everyone's got all these tricks and bits trying to get all their numbers up. We just show up and we run the ball every day.

The Detroit Pistons job is the American Dream because you get paid $60 million not to work

I think that this makes the job opening in Detroit way more attractive. Yeah. Because you can go there for a year, get fired and still get paid for the remaining four or five years that you have on your contract... getting paid money not to work is the American dream. And so that's ultimately the best thing that you wanna be looking for when you're a head coach.

The Detroit Pistons should be run by a committee of fans via Twitter polls or a Twitch stream.

They should just let like have a, a Twitter account or a Twitch stream with polls on it. They should just have that run the Detroit Pistons and make all the personnel decisions, all the rotation adjustments. Just have it be done by Committee of Pistons fans.

It's going to be tough to beat the 'Make-A-Wish' allegations now that I've been invited on a Celtics championship duck boat.

I mean, the, the, it's gonna be tough to beat the Make-A-Wish allegations. [Big Cat: Yeah, oh yeah.]

Expanding the NCAA Tournament to 72 or 76 teams is going to suck

The NCAA's trying to move the tournament to an expanded field. This is gonna suck. Yeah. So 72 to 76 team tournament plans is what they're trying to do... 64 teams is perfect. They just don't need to add more bubble teams. You never remember 'em.

The Bulls traded a winning player in Alex Caruso for a losing player in Josh Giddey

I am mad. I continue to be mad at this franchise. They fucking suck Jerry Reinsdorf. All he wants to do is win 40 games... Giddy Caruso. I love Caruso. He's a friend of the show. I love Caruso. This comes down to you traded a winning player in Alex Caruso for a losing player in Josh Giddey.

The 2024 Celtics are one of the all-time great NBA teams

I mean you, you think about it, you're like, I mean we're one of the all time teams. I'm obviously, I'm biased and so I'm gonna say it, but just you, you think about it like you are just enjoying it... I do think like we are one of those teams and it's the best run.

The Celtics should send Blake Griffin a championship ring.

I'm sure we could send [Blake Griffin] one. [PFT Commenter: I think Blake deserves a lifetime achievement ring.] Yeah. I'm sure we could send him one.

Sam Hauser will be the sneaky drunkest person at the Celtics championship parade

So my dad said he is like, I just seen a Reddit post and I was one of the top vote getters [for drunkest at parade]... I mean I could see that. So yeah, I'll probably be up there... And I could see Sam Houser as the sneaky drunkest one. Sam Houser. That's my dark horse.

The Panthers' disastrous 2-15 season in 2023 was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I believe not only was it probably the best thing that ever happened to me, just learning how to deal with adversity, learning how to be a leader through major storms... but I think for, Bryce [Young], a lot of the young guys, maybe some of the coaches that we still have around... it's probably the best thing that ever happened to us.

I will be the fastest I've ever been in the NFL this season at age 33

I want to be the fastest I've ever been. So my goal is to lean out, to be as fast as I've ever been. Top end speed, change the direction, and I truly, I think I can do it. I feel great right now... My goal is to be as fast and explosive as I possibly can.

Kirk Cousins is the most process-driven person I've ever been around

That guy is the most process driven person I've ever been around in my life. It is unbelievable. He does not leave any stone unturned. He does ne he, I mean, he will never not be prepared for a game... he's putting every ounce of time, effort, money into having the most success as a team.

Kirk Cousins' infamous foil-wrapped grilled steak looked terrible.

I saw the pictures. I feel like this was like maybe four or five years ago when he posted on, and I'm, I texted him immediately. I'm like, what, what is that? ... but it looked terrible.

The trend of quarterbacks buying massive gifts for their offensive linemen is overblown and awkward.

I just feel like that that whole bit has gotten like way overblown and now has made it like super awkward for the quarterbacks because now I feel like the o linemen are like expecting like this like grand prize... no I've, I have not bought a quarterback a gift. Maybe I should, but, but yeah, it's, it's kind of a weird awkward thing.

I average 330 yards on my drives on the golf course.

I hit about three 30. [Big Cat: Jesus.] And again, like that's always been my strength.

Patrick Mahomes is not the biggest threat on the celebrity golf circuit

I don't think Patrick Mahomes is the biggest threat on the golf course. Oh, okay. On the football field obviously is the biggest, but golf course I think a little different... I know he does have like a real golf hole in his backyard... I just don't see him winning it.

I wasn't going to fake a celebration for the cameras just because the Celtics won the championship

I just don't know really. Like I was thinking that what should I do? And I kind of knew that that was gonna be the reaction, but I also wasn't gonna fake it. Like I wasn't gonna drop to my knees and be like, you guys knew you were gonna win after game three.

There should be a 'dating app' style platform for young men to find old guys who know how to fix cars.

I just had an idea for like a dating app, but it's young dudes that want to meet up with old guys. Mm. Who know about cars. I feel like an old guy wants to share his car knowledge.

Jalen Brown is a top 5 player in the NBA

[Jalen Brown] is in that top five now. He's the best player on the team.

Brad Stevens is the greatest GM of all time

Brad Stevens is, you know, the greatest GM of all time. I think he's gotta be. He's in all-time in this conversation.

The Celtics are set up for a dynasty

I mean the team is set up for a great, great run, which is the most exciting part. We win a championship now and we're set up, we're set up for the future. Maybe a real [dynasty].

Jalen Brown single-handedly ended the NBA Finals in Game 3

If you look at this series, which wasn't really competitive... [Jalen Brown's] second half in that game [Game 3] basically ended the series. Like he single-handedly ended the series there.

Luka Doncic will definitely win an NBA title

I think Luka just needs to get in better shape. I think Luka's gonna be, the path that Luka's on. He's going to win a title. I would put I'd, I'd bet it right now. Luka will win a title.

Jayson Tatum has negative aura

Hank, would you like to speak at all about the fact that Jayson Tatum has negative aura? It just didn't feel authentic, which again, this is very nitpicky because they just won the title.

LSU should find a way to vacate Nick Saban's wins to be real haters

What I think LSU should do, find something that happened when Nick Saban was there, because Nick Saban is up for eligibility next year. And if they took away his wins at LSU... If you want to be a real hater, you could do that to a coach that left you and then came and coached for your rival.

The 60% winning percentage rule for the College Football Hall of Fame is bullshit and Mike Leach should be in

The rule that you have to have 60% to make the college football Hall of fame is bullshit and should be changed. Because I did see this last week. Mike Leach is like 0.03% away. They need to let Mike Leach in the Hall of Fame. Because who's to say that you weren't a giant contributor to the game if you didn't happen to have 60%?