Takes

Cavaliers in 7 over the Warriors

I unfortunately have the Cavs in 7. I think the Cavs are going to win.

Kevin Durant will leave the OKC Thunder

I'm finished with him. I think that Durant's going to leave, and I hope that he does, and he's going to go to the Wizards or the Celtics or the Clippers or the Lakers or the Spurs or the Rockets.

Kevin Durant is the Dan Marino of the NBA

Is it fair to say that Kevin Durant is potentially like the Dan Marino of the NBA? You got to start having that conversation, though. Like, is he the best player that will never win a championship?

Chris Humphries will never win an NBA title

If Chris Humphries is ever going to win a national championship, I don't think that he'll win a title. Curse. Curse. Sorry, Chris. You're on the list.

The Cavaliers will not lose another home game as long as I leave my wallet in the arena

The Cleveland Cavaliers have not lost a game since I left my wallet in the Q... My wallet's going to be in there until the end of the finals and then I'll get it back because I think my wallet has actually helped the Cavs. So if I keep the wallet there, the Cavs aren't going to lose a home game.

Lacrosse will be more popular than baseball in 50 years

Lacrosse is going to be more popular than baseball in 50 years.

The Thunder will smoke the Warriors in Game 6

I think the Thunder are going to smoke the Warriors in game six.

The San Jose Sharks will defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup Finals

The Stanley Cup finals. Sharks eat penguins. Not to brag, but I called it. Yes, you did. Because it was the only matchup that could occur in nature.

The Warriors' season is over

The Warriors are dead. They're in the grave, man. It's done. It's done. Three to one. They're going back to Oakland. They're not looking like the same team.

I expect the NBA Finals to be Thunder vs. Cavaliers

I think it's going to be Thunder, Cavs in the finals. But if there's two teams that can disrupt that, it's the Raptors and the Warriors.

LeBron James will eventually injure himself while flopping

He's going to flop at some point and do that extra thing that he does and turn his ankle during the flop. And at that point, is it a flop anymore? It's going to be amazing. That's all I'm rooting for now is I want LeBron to hurt himself while he's flopping.

LeBron James will dominate Game 4 against the Raptors and rip their hearts out

LeBron is going to come out in game four and he is going to rip the heart out of the Toronto Raptors... what he's going to do is he's going to step on their throats, and Drake is going to be crying at the bench... this is a LeBron James game, game four.

The 2016 Bills have a chance to make some noise under Rex Ryan

I think the continuity coming back under Rex, we got a lot of guys coming back on both sides of the ball. I think we got a chance to make some noise.

Roger Goodell is guaranteed to be on the show because of Eric Winston

Eric Winston guaranteed that Roger Goodell is going to be on the show this week.

The Cavaliers will sweep the Raptors

It's going to be a sweep. I don't think the Raptors can steal one in Toronto even.

Nyquist is not a slam dunk to win the Preakness due to weather

There's a probability that it's going to be a hellaciously rainy day on Saturday. [Nyquist] has never run in conditions like that before... Whereas Exaggerator, the horse that he beat in the Derby, has, and he won very impressively in conditions like that.

The horse Lani is a good play for third place in the Preakness

There is a horse that is going to be double digits that I think is set up to run pretty well here and is a good play for third behind the top two, and that would be the Japanese horse, Lani.

The Cavs vs. Raptors series is already over after Game 1

The series is going to be brutal to watch. Maybe the Raptors play close for four quarters in Toronto for one game, but I don't even give them that. It's I mean, the Cavs are locked in. They're on a different level right now. So this this is this series is over as far as I'm concerned.

The Cubs could win the World Series this year

Do you think the Cubs will ever win a World Series? This could be the year, man. I'm looking forward to the All-Chicago World Series this year. I like that. That would be something special.

If I took steroids, I would have hit at least 70 home runs in a season

If you did take steroids, how many home runs do you think you could have hit in a season? 70. I was going to say 100, but okay. I would say 70. Yeah, because I remember so many balls being hit every year that just really were caught on the wall or hit off the top of the wall.

The Phoenix Mercury will be very tough to beat and the Sky won't beat them if they meet in the finals

I do think that the [Phoenix] Mercury are going to be very, very tough to beat. If the [Chicago] Sky go up against them again in the finals, I'm not liking the Sky's chances.

If Steph Curry loses in the finals, the public will turn on him and call him a fraud

Everybody rooted for him last year because he was the skinny kid... Now he's so confident in his abilities, people are starting to turn on him. If he loses in the playoffs or in the finals, they're going to be like, I guess he couldn't hang with the big boys. Guess he's a fraud.

Tim Duncan will never actually retire; he will just keep showing up to the gym through inertia

There's a chance that Tim Duncan just forgets to retire and just by like... through inertia, he keeps showing up at the gym. I think that's more likely than him actually retiring. The last thing I would ever expect is for Duncan to do like an announcement before the season and then play the rest of the season. No way. Duncan just wants to sit at home when he's not playing basketball and not be bothered by anybody.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Wizards vs. the Warriors, with the Wizards winning in six games

I got the Wizards because John Wall and Kevin Durant are going to be tough to defend. So I got the Wizards going up again. I'm going to say the Warriors make it back again. Wizards, Warriors, Wizards in six.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Cavs vs. the Lakers, with the Lakers winning in seven games

I got Cavs, Lakers, Lakers in seven. [Because] KD is going to the Lakers. And Dwight Howard's going back to the Lakers.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Celtics vs. the Warriors

I got Celtics and Warriors. Kevin Durant and Isaiah Thomas are going to be a serious force to be reckoned with.

The 2022 World Cup Final will be Germany vs. Brazil

I'm going to say Germany versus Brazil [for the 2022 Men's World Cup].

The 2022 World Cup Final will be Argentina vs. Spain

I'm going to go Argentina-Spain [for the 2022 Men's World Cup].

The Sharks will beat the Blues in the Western Conference Finals

[The Sharks] need to beat the Blues, and I need to have that Sharks-Lightning finals so that we can just pretend the Stanley Cup didn't happen this year.

The San Jose Sharks will win Game 7 against the Predators

I mean, I got a good feeling about San Jose, to be honest. I mean, I know this isn't going to air in time, but big game seven tonight, so we'll see what happens.

The Cavaliers could beat the Warriors in the Finals

The entire season has been about the Warriors and then a little bit about the Spurs. The Cavs, they can do like the whole nobody believes in us shit, which is unreal with a guy like LeBron on your team. And I don't know, man. I wouldn't be shocked if they beat the Warriors. I really wouldn't.

The 2016 Cubs are the best team in MLB history and will sweep the World Series

I think this might be the best baseball team in the history of Major League Baseball, and I think that there's no chance that anything bad could happen to them this year. Like, they're going to cruise. I think it's going to be four-game sweep in the World Series.

The Jaguars are definitely going to make some noise this season

I think we're definitely going to make some noise. Yeah, you know... we're looking forward to making some noise this year.

The only weakness for the 2016 Cubs is that they are still the Cubs

The thing that scares me is the only weakness I can find on this Cubs team is that we're still the Cubs. ... It will be all-time heartbreak.

Danzing Candy is a possible upset pick to lead the Kentucky Derby from start to finish

On the front end, a horse that's going to be about 20, 30 to 1 and has a shot is a horse called Danzing Candy... He'll be on the lead. They'll probably leave him alone on the lead. ... that's a recipe for a possible upset.

Sudden Breaking News will be running faster than any other horse at the finish line

There's a horse... his name is Sudden Breaking News. I promise you, he may not win, he may not finish second, he may not finish third. But when the horses cross the finish line, he'll be running faster than any horse in the race.

Dave Portnoy will live to be 120 years old out of pure spite

Dave, everything will say Dave should die, and then he'll probably live to be like 120 because he's a motherfucker. ... He'll complain every single day for the rest of his life to 120, but he'll live to 120.

Pablo Sandoval will be just as good from the right side as the left side next year

So his right hand is going to be getting a lot of exercise. He's got a wipe, J-O, you name it... flash forward to next season, he might be just as good from the right side as he is from the left. So keep an eye on that.

The Eagles deserve a C+ for their 2016 draft because they didn't move up for a wide receiver

If I had to give the Eagles a draft grade, I would give them a solid C+. Why? Because I strongly feel like even though they traded their picks up and they drafted Carson Wentz, who I think's a fucking G, I feel like they could have made a move and traded up to get into the second round and get a wide receiver.

NFL fans will be tired of Carson Wentz's old tweets by week 4 of his rookie season

Wentz also had a tweet like three years ago that said, I want to kill myself. And it was a tweet that was like in succession with a couple others, so it's a little bit out of context. But every single interception that he throws, every game they lose, you're going to see that. You're going to get pretty sick of that by about week four next year.

Carson Wentz has better long-term prospects than Jared Goff because he can sit for a year

I would look at Wentz's long-term prospects, especially if he can sit the first year and learn... The thing I fear for Goff is being thrown to the wolves right away with huge expectations, big city, new city. The learning curve is going to be very, very fast for him... I would be much happier if I were training a quarterback this year for one of these two teams, if he could sit for a year instead of getting battered. So that's one reason I really like Wentz.

Johnny Manziel will never start another game in the NFL

if you had to put your life on it, does Johnny Manziel start another game in the NFL? I would say no. I think he'll try. I think he'll come back at some point. It'll be a great redemption story. But the problem is... his skillset was going to be difficult anyway... I think he's got a little bit of the Tebow thing around him right now that he's, he's skillset fits college football and not the NFL.

Tom Brady could sue the NFL and Roger Goodell for defamation

I don't think [Tom Brady] is just going to let this go away. I think what he may do is he may sue for defamation, because what happened in this Deflategate, none of that is relevant to if he brought a claim for defamation. In other words, saying that the commissioner and the other people said things about me, which they did with malice... there's no question the Golden Boy image at the very least is tarnished.

Sean Kemp will definitely be on the show at some point

We're going to get Sean Kemp on the show. That's my guarantee to the Pardon My Take listeners. We will get Sean Kemp on the show somehow, someway, at some point. Guaranteed.

Sam Bradford will not be the Eagles starting quarterback in 2016

I have a feeling [Sam Bradford] won't be [starting]. I know they're saying all the right things now and they can't declare to the world that he's not going to be the starter because what if the guy that they draft ultimately stinks. It wouldn't shock me if they find a way to unload him onto somebody who emerges from the draft without an answer.

Johnny Manziel will never start another five games in the NFL

I'll take under [five more starts] because even if he gets his act together, which first he has to have the epiphany. I just don't think anybody can ever trust him to be a starting quarterback or a backup quarterback.

Jared Goff will be the first overall pick in the 2016 NFL Draft

Oh, it's going to be Jared Goff. I believe it will be Jared Goff.

Calvin Johnson is officially retired and will not return to the NFL

I do [think he is officially retired]. After the beating that he's taken... I just think he made enough money. And the NFL is getting to a point where people are realizing how brutal it is... I'm sure after watching a year of it, like I did my first year out, he'll realize he wants no part of that.

JJ Watt will stage a heroic rescue to fix his image in the next month

I wouldn't rule out J.J. Watt staging, saving some child from a burning building or something. If you hear a story in the next month that J.J. Watt ran into a burning warehouse and there were children and kittens and puppies and he saved them all, just be on the lookout for that. That's all I'm saying. I want to be a pre-truther to anything heroic that J.J. Watt does in the next six months.

Conor McGregor will transition to the WWE

You saw that the last, what, six people that McGregor has followed on Twitter have all been WWE guys. So is Conor McGregor going to be a wrestler?