Takes

The Bruins will beat the Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final

My final matchup is Bruins Oilers... and I don't see them [the Bruins] losing. I think they get it done. So Bruins over Oilers.

The Rangers will beat the Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final

I'm on Oilers out of the west and the Rangers out of the east. We're gonna see a parade in Manhattan.

Josh Harris will officially be the new owner of the Commanders

It was announced today. It's Josh Harris. He's gonna take over the team... He's already an owner, kind of, of an NFL team. He's a part owner of the Steelers. They're gonna vote him in. It's, this is a done deal and it's gonna happen and everything's gonna be good.

The NFL has awoken a 'sleeping giant' in Washington D.C. with the sale of the Commanders

All I'm saying is be careful what you wish for NFL, because you have awoken a sleeping giant in Washington DC.

Diar DeRozan single-handedly won the play-in game for the Bulls against the Raptors

Diar DeRozan stole the story of the play-in game on Wednesday night. She single-handedly stopped the Toronto Raptors... She was screaming so loud before every free throw that the Raptors took in a dead silent arena. The Raptors went 18 for 36 from the free throw line. Ended up losing the game by what four? It was she won that game for the Bulls.

Diar DeRozan is the #1 overall NBA daughter

She's great. She's way better than Riley Curry. Yes. Before ranking NBA daughters, I got her one A in my daughter draft. I think that she was, she was great.

Diar DeRozan is a 'secret weapon' that no other team can employ because you can't kick out a player's daughter

Kyrie and Russell Westbrook have taught us that [you can get kicked out for anything]. I don't think you can kick out a player's daughter. She is like, if a guy is just sitting there doing that, I think that a player probably complains and they get kicked out... I think she's a secret weapon that no other team can employ.

The entire future of the Play-In tournament will be decided by the results of Friday night's games

I'm just gonna start grading every playing game. I'm gonna make a judgment on the playing tournament as a whole just based on game to game... Friday we'll decide it's big night. The future of the play in tournament, according to myself, is all gonna come down to Friday night.

Zach Wilson is the 'real winner' of the Jets failing to acquire Aaron Rodgers quickly

You know who's the real winner right now? Zach Wilson... I think for Zach Wilson, the best case scenario is that you don't have to play. More tape is bad tape. Just be a Zach Wilson.

Jim Nantz's defense of Tony Romo suggests there is actually friction between them

I read the quote to you and you tell me if you think there was any smoke to the fire that everyone was talking about... Me think it's the lady doth protest too much... That's like, I'm not mad. Don't say that. I was mad. Please don't write in the newspaper that I was mad.

UConn 'bleeds blue' and is creating its own category beyond traditional Blue Bloods

His thing is like, no, forget the blue blood. You know, we're a program that bleeds blue. Max the bleed blue. So like we're gonna create our own because we've got the five national championships and NBA players for days in the last 20 years. Most of anyone... We don't even wanna be a blue blood. We're our own kind of deal.

I aspire to coach in the NBA someday

No, I'm not, I, I've still got some, I got some developing to do on the sideline. There's no one coaching like me in the NBA. They're not ready... I do believe, I mean, that is something I aspire to, you know, down the road. You know, I love college. I, I hope I could, you know, continue to put UConn in this position moving forward.

The Lakers are the scariest team to ever come out of the play-in tournament

But the Lakers to me are the scariest team to ever come out of the play tournament. Does that mean they're gonna [make] the finals? Of course not, but geez Yeah. LeBron James Anthony Davis. That's a pretty scary seven seed, don't you think?

The 76ers have the most 'legacy at stake' this postseason

Until we see it, you know, it's fair to hang that on [James Harden] a little bit and if there's one player and one team who has sort of a legacy at stake, this postseason... it's the Philadelphia 76ers. And the other one I would say is Doc Rivers is part of that. It's not just James. Doc Rivers hasn't been a great playoff coach in the last five, 10 years either.

The Cleveland Cavaliers will win an NBA title in the 2020s

I also love this Cleveland Cavalier team... I'm really eager to see how they do, I don't think they're at the status of Milwaukee or Boston yet guys, but that team I'm buying stock on them winning a title in the 2020s. And they could, they could surprise this year.

The Knicks will lose their first-round series against the Cavaliers

I'm not picking [the Knicks] to win their first round series because they're playing just a stacked Cavs team and that's a tough four seed. I think you gotta look forward as the Knicks are going from bad to good... I wouldn't be shocked if they win, but I think the Cavs are the right choice there.

If the Heat lose their play-in game to the Bulls, the organization needs to end the current roster era and blow it up

If they lose to this Chicago team, I think it's time to change some things in Miami. And I think whatever era we just watched, which is undeniably successful... might have to end and they might have to make some big changes. So heat culture I think can survive regime changes... but yeah, it seems like we're at the end of a personnel run here if they lose.

The Suns will come out of the Western Conference

The west is drunk. Nobody has any idea what to happen... look, I use regular season numbers to try to predict, but the suns weren't, the suns... until very late in the season. They're two of the betting favorites now to come outta the west... I will predict that the suns are gonna come outta the west. It hinges on Kevin Durant's Health.

The Bucks will beat the Suns in the NBA Finals

First finals prediction is a 2021 rematch bucks suns... I think if either of those guys has to miss games, which is reasonable to expect, unfortunately that suns prediction would fall apart pretty fast... So my first son's, my first is sun's bucks and I take the bucks and that matchup.

It would be a 'powerful disappointment' if the Nuggets don't reach the Western Conference Finals

If this team doesn't get to the Western conference finals big cat, it's a disappointment and it's particularly powerful disappointment for a team that's failed to get over the hump with an MVP for the last few years... if they can't make a big deep run towards the finals, it's unfortunate what's at stake for them this year.

Since the trade deadline, the Lakers have been the best defense in the Western Conference

If you look at the Lakers since the trade deadline, they've been the best defense in the Western conference... 19 and 9 since the trade deadline, that's 68% winning percentage... but what a lot of people forget is they did that without LeBron most of the games.

The 76ers will beat the Nuggets in the NBA Finals

And without a doubt, I think this year's finals is gonna be a battle of these MVP Big Men. It's gonna be the 76ers against the nuggets. Wow. Embiid, Jokic, centers are back... and I'm taking Joel Embiid and the Sixers to win their first title since 1983. So Wow. Ending a 40 year drought. You can just book it.

The Bruins are the greatest regular season hockey team ever and will dominate the playoffs

I'm all out on this team. This team is different. They're the greatest hockey team I've ever watched in the regular season. They're the greatest regular season team of all time. They're gonna dominate, they're gonna run through these playoffs.

I will join the 1,000 pound club naturally within a year

Challenge myself and I'm gonna get hurt. And that's gonna suck... I'm gonna try to do a thousand pound club, Billy... It's deadlift, squat, bench. A thousand pounds... I'm doing it all natural. No, I'm doing it. It's either all natural or can't do.

Seasonal aggression is a real phenomenon where people get angrier when it's hot out

Seasonal aggression. Yeah... angry... just gets hyper... no one should be judged for their actions when their heart rate's over 150 beats per minute. I agree with that. That that's what I believe.

No one should be judged for their actions when their heart rate is over 150 BPM

No one should be, no one should be judged for their actions when their heart rate's over 150 beats per minute. I agree with that. That that's what I believe.

David Stern and the NBA were always going to find a way to get LeBron James into the playoffs

I think everybody out there with a pulse that's ever seen basketball or heard of the state of Minnesota before, knew that the Timberwolves were gonna give this up. The Lakers were gonna come back. The NBA. David Stern was gonna figure out a way for LeBron James to advance the playoffs.

I won't respect the NBA Play-In tournament until a play-in team wins a title

I like it [the play-in] in theory because more basketball, more fun. These teams suck. These teams aren't gonna like... I need a play-in tournament team to win a title for me to start respecting the play-in tournament. Because the NBA playoffs like historically are the, you know, the top seeds are usually the teams that you see at the end.

The NBA only created the play-in tournament to get Zion Williamson and more sponsor money into the postseason

The reason the playing tournament was basically started, much like Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire got admitted to the Tri Wizard tournament as a fourth wizard. They wanted to get Zion Williamson into the playoffs his rookie year... Also, the NBA just wants another event to slap a sponsor on.

The Minnesota Timberwolves are legitimately better without Rudy Gobert

Lakers in advanced the T-Wolves, let's say, let's do, let's do some positive spin zones for the T-Wolves. Okay. One, I think they're better without Rudy Gobert. Yeah. Like legitimately, you can make the case on defense that they need somebody like that to protect the rim. But on offense, they are like, I don't think it's even a debate right now. They work better... without 'em.

The Miami Heat's 'Heat Culture' might officially be dead

The Death of Heath heat culture. Jake, it's over. And I'm not trying to just be a prisoner of the moment, but they got absolutely bullied... I think it might be dead.

The Celtics will beat the Hawks in five games

We'll get, we'll give 'em [the Hawks] one game just cuz it's the NBA. You never know what's gonna happen. Maybe they win a home game. Celtics in five. If it goes six something went seriously wrong.

The NBA is rigging things to get a Lakers-Warriors second-round series

Put your tinfoil hat on. What is the NBA want more than anything in the second round? ...Lakers warriors. So we can have Steph first LeBron one last time before LeBron retires.

Taylor Swift is better than Beyonce

Who you got? Taylor Swift or Beyonce? It's Taylor Swift. Easy. Nah, it's so easy. It's all day... No, you guys, girls, no one knows a single Beyonce song, right? Yeah, she's super old. Taylor Swift. Much better vocalist.

The Cubs are 'sneaky' might make the playoffs this year

I also put a future on the Cubs at a hundred to one, but whatever. I think they're gonna... no, no. All right. Nevermind. That was a, I've talked myself into the Cubs being scrappy enough to make the playoffs. They're gonna be sneaky... I've now upgraded them to Sneaky might make the playoffs.

Bar managers will be completely lost on Week 1 of YouTube Sunday Ticket

They are going to have to figure out how to get YouTube on all their TVs at once. And they, they are gonna be completely lost week one of next year... Bar owners week one. It's gonna be a shit show.

UGA 10 is the greatest bulldog mascot of all time

AGA 10 is the greatest AGA of all time. AGA 10 won back to back national titles. AGA 10 went 84 and 15 as the mascot of the Georgia Bulldogs.

Fruit Loops are all the same flavor regardless of color

Fruit loops don't have an individual taste. Your mind makes you think that the orange tastes like orange, yellow tastes like lemon banana. They all taste [the same].

Microwavable dinner is the one food that best represents America

The microwave dinner because the eighties was such a shift... first decade that has two, two parents working. So you have latchkey kids able to let themselves in... a microwave, you put the damn thing in, you press a couple buttons. So a latchkey kid suddenly had agency... it's a direct correlation to where American tastes are at the time.

Lobster is just 'gentrified bugs' and was originally fed to prisoners

The lobster was served to prisoners. A hundred percent... they have the exact same neurological system as a cockroach. And they used to just wash up in mounds. And that's exactly why they were considered poor people food... they gentrified bugs.

Eat a banana and white rice before a spicy food challenge to avoid 'ring sting'

Spicy challenge hack. Okay? And this is the truth. Before you do anything spicy, eat a banana and eat a small thing of white rice. The banana is the crucial thing... apparently something about the banana and the potassium encapsulates the capsicum so you have a good exit strategy.

Drinking a gallon of water in five minutes will stretch your stomach for an eating challenge

Joey [Chestnut] taught me I would drink a gallon of water in five minutes, either the morning of the challenge or the night before because then through breathing, pissing respiration, perspiration, the, the water is gone but your stomach is stretched out.

The pull-out method is the best and most effective birth control

This is why the pull-out method's just, it's the best. So much more effective. It's the best. Yeah. Works a hundred percent. You know where the semen's going? Yeah. Never have a problem pulling out.

A bomb disposal expert is the ideal person to be a golfer's mental coach

Having a bomb disposal [expert], that's probably the best person in the world to talk to about remaining calm. [Jon] Rahm wanted to fix his temper because he used to have these outbursts on the course.

It is always a golfer with an infant who wins the Masters

I would've liked to known the fact that [Jon Rahm] just had a kid. So he's got two kids now... one of which is less than a year old. Another thing I would've liked to known about before I decided who to bet on, because it's always a golfer with an infant that wins at the Masters.

Tiger Woods' injuries always seem to flare up exactly when he starts playing poorly

I wouldn't say this, but some people online would say this... Tiger's injury did seem to come on like a wave as soon as he started playing bad. I wouldn't say that... but I read that and I was like, Hmm. Something to think about.

I will drive my car into a ravine or off a cliff if Tiger Woods wins another Masters

I will drive my car into a ravine on purpose if Tiger Woods wins another Masters. I'm gonna go ahead and say there's no chance that Tiger wins another masters. If it means that Tiger wins another masters, I will, I will drive off a cliff.

Odell Beckham Jr. will sit out in protest by Week 3 if the Ravens don't have Lamar Jackson at quarterback

If your dad was cutting together highlight reels of how good you were with a quarterback that couldn't get you the ball... going to the Ravens and having maybe no Lamar Jackson... that's a recipe for absolute disaster. If it's Tyler Huntley or somebody else... Odell is gonna be pissed off. He's probably gonna sit out and protest by like week three.

If you knock a fighter's dad out, you are allowed to mock that fighter's son

Israel Adesanya slept Pereira... then maybe like the most coldhearted move of all time mock Pereira's son who was crying watching his dad get knocked out. I loved it. I'll say it. I love it. I know that people will probably be like, oh that's fucked up. But... if you knock somebody's dad out, you're allowed to make fun of that person's son.

Jorge Masvidal will come out of retirement

Masvidal retired. Yeah, he did... He'll be back. I mean he was a undercard on Kimbo Slice's backyard fights... Backyard brawls. Like what career?