Takes

Rumors of friction with Tom Brady were completely false

It was a big one [the rumor of friction]. It's nothing could be further from the truth. We have a great relationship... Tom, he's asking more questions and I throw him in the golf cart and he's old enough and I can drive him off the field.

Tom Brady is throwing the ball better at age 45 than he did two years ago

He's throwing better now. It's crazy... he's got great mechanics. He's one of those full body throwers. He's not using all just arm. Tom, he's an amazing human being... he's throwing the ball better and I've ever seen him throw it.

Tom Brady and Peyton Manning would be too demanding to be successful NFL head coaches

[Tom Brady] will do great [in the booth]... [But] he'd be way too demanding [as a head coach]. Really. Since they working for Peyton, I mean they're workaholics man. They're workaholics.

Andrew Luck was the best quarterback I ever coached, even just as a rookie

Andrew Luck. Number one. Really? I only had him as a rookie, but he was unbelievable. Skilled wise is off the chart, but mentally he was right there with Peyton and Andrew and Tom.

Andrew Luck is the only quarterback I've ever coached who hits as hard as a linebacker after throwing an interception

He was taking a beating and again, tough as nails. I mean he's the only linebacker—he's the only quarterback that throws an interception and hits as hard as the linebacker. Yeah. Cause he's pissed off.

Patrick Mahomes' mental processing was on the same elite level as Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck, and Tom Brady coming out of college

I thought for sure when we're in Arizona, we're getting Patrick Mahomes... skill wise is off the chart. But mentally he was right there with Peyton and Andrew and Tom. I mean, he's like sharp, right? I mean, just really sharp.

Tom Brady will likely play for a couple more years but not five

Nothing surprises me with Tom. I don't know about five [more years], but a couple for sure. He's throwing him all better than he did when he two years ago.

Hasbulla is a bigger living legend than Michael Jordan

One-one is Hasbulla. He's a living legend. He walks in the room, everyone stops. You go to any country in the world and they're like—Hasbulla. He's got international [fame]. Hasbulla objectively is way bigger [than Michael Jordan].

Adam Sandler is a living legend because of his 100% likability rating and his tendency to go viral for playing pickup basketball

Adam Sandler living legend. Great pick. Every also just goes viral every other day for just dropping dimes in a pickup boots game. He's and also he goes viral for being a good friend all the time. Yeah. Like that. When I see Adam Sandler trending it's usually because he did something awesome.

Lisa Ann is a living legend for 'turning so many boys into men' and being a nice person

Lisa Ann... a true living legend. She turned so many boys into men... and she's a very nice person.

Scott Frost is officially on the hot seat after the onside kick against Northwestern

Scott Frost has been doing Scott Frost on the hot seat already. If he wasn't going into the season, he is now. ... What are they going to do this year to fuck themselves over? Oh, how about go up by 11 and then try an onside kick when you have all the momentum?

Chicken wings are not a good leftover

As a man that loves chicken wings, who would like to be buried under six feet of chicken wings when I die, I will be the first to tell you that chicken wings are not a good leftover.

I am 100% on Aaron Donald's side because I want to be on the right side of history when the robots take over

Aaron Donald should be allowed to do [whatever he wants]. ... I'm 100% on Aaron Donald's side. ... I'm very much on the side, just like I'm on the side of the robots that will eventually take over this planet. I want to be on the right side of history. Next time I find myself in a room with Aaron Donald, I want him to know that I do not hold this against him. I'm on your side no matter what. Please don't hurt me, Mr. Donald.

Poe the Ravens mascot is faking his knee injury just for the views

I'm not a doctor. I have examined the film in slow-mo. I think he's faking it. ... I think [Poe] is faking it. ... I saw the left knee, nothing out of the ordinary happened. ... I think he's milking it for the views. I think he's an attention whore. I think he's a me-first kind of guy.

Aaron Rodgers should be in jail for his admissions on Joe Rogan

Aaron Rodgers should be in jail. He went on Joe Rogan... he admitted to playing games on Percocet... I'm going to have a lawyer go through the transcript and just get an entire list of all the things that are felonies that he admitted to.

Rory McIlroy is playing the best golf of his career

Credit to us though, because we're the first people I think on the planet that told you that Rory McIlroy was playing the best golf of his career before the season even started.

Humans can outrun horses in long-distance races

Humans can outrun horses in long distances. Just it's a thing. Trust me. ... The humans were able to run farther distance over time and that's why they became the apex predators.

Tom Brady looks gaunt following his mystery absence

I'm going to be honest. I think [Tom Brady] looks gaunt like the definition of the word gaunt.

The 76ers might be back after James Harden threw a birthday cake off a boat

James Harden throwing a cake off the boat was fucking hilarious. ... I think the Sixers might be back.

Zack Hample is officially the greatest home run catcher of all time

[Zack Hample] is back. ... He's not the worst. He's actually the greatest foul ball guy, catcher of all time. ... How about maybe get better foul ball or home run catchers to compete with him?

Cornerback and left tackle are the physically hardest positions to play in football

Corner and left tackle [are] physically the hardest position to play. ... Cornerback is the hardest position to play. ... Just that challenge of knowing like week in and week out, you're going against the best athlete on an island by yourself and you gotta perform.

The Eagles will not make the Super Bowl this year

We had Aaron Schatz come on the show and he picked the Eagles to go to the Super Bowl this year. I'm saying, I don't see that happening. I think Jalen Hurts is good. I think he'll take another step. I don't think that step is going to be to the Super Bowl.

The Vikings are a Super Bowl dark horse over the Eagles

I think the Vikings, I would go with them as Super Bowl dark horse over the Philadelphia Eagles. ... I think Kevin O'Connell going over there, what he can do, I mean, we've already heard Justin Jefferson say, Hey, like I see what Cooper Kupp was able to do in that offense. I'm fired up to see what I can do.

The Buffalo Bills will win the Super Bowl behind Josh Allen

I'm going with the Buffalo Bills and Josh Allen. I see him this, and this is also my reasoning with him. ... I feel like Josh Allen's trajectory is gone that way.

The Cowboys will make the Super Bowl out of the NFC

On the NFC side, oh man, I think I'm going to go... I'll go to the Dallas Cowboys, put them in a Super Bowl. I'll go on Twitter and whoever reads this is going to kill me.

Mike McCarthy is extra dumb because he is also overweight

I'm just going to say that's what Big Cat's thinking. We all think it, Mike McCarthy is a dumb-dumb. [Big Cat:] And it's also just a fact as a bigger guy myself, when you're overweight and you're dumb, you're extra dumb. ... It takes a while for people to notice you're dumb [when you're skinny].

Being late to pull out is the worst thing you can possibly be late for

Pulling out, that sucks. Really bad when you're late, kind of defeats the entire purpose of it. Kills it. Guess what, babe? I'm about to pull out. Oh shit, guess what? You have to raise a kid.

Chet Holmgren should spend his injury year getting 'dummy thicc'

If I'm Chet Holmgren, I'm spending this year, like doctor's orders. You can't go on the treadmill. You can't go on the elliptical. No Peloton, no stair climber, just get dummy [thicc] Chet. Just get fat, Chet. You'll be a better basketball player.

McLaren is dead to me for dumping Daniel Ricciardo

Danny Ricciardo got dumped by McLaren. McLaren is dead to me now. I hate them. I always hated them, but now I really hate them. Kind of fucked up.

Week Zero should always feature at least one ranked team to feel meaningful

What they should do is there should be one matchup every week zero where one of the teams is ranked number 25 in the nation. Just put a ranking next to it. I don't care... just like put those little numbers next to one of the team's names to make me feel like I'm not completely wasting my Saturday.

MACtion should move its entire schedule to Week Zero

MACtion should just run their entire slate on week zero. That would be cool too.

Either Russell Westbrook or Patrick Beverley will be gone from the Lakers by mid-season

This is going to be the team that will absolutely implode. It's going to be incredible. Like Russell Westbrook and Patrick Beverley there, that's the very definition of like, there's only room for one of those two guys. Like one of those guys is going to be gone by mid-season. There's no question about it.

Mad Dog Russo only says Nick Saban isn't the GOAT to look stupid and get attention

He said that Nick Saban is not the greatest coach of all time, which is a very funny thing to do... he said, 'How can I have a take that shocks the world and makes me look really stupid?' Boom. Mission accomplished.

Ben Roethlisberger treats the Steelers' starting QB job like a Supreme Court justice; he thinks it's his for life

Big Ben treats the starting quarterback position of the Steelers like Supreme Court justice. He's like, they know I'm the starting quarterback for the rest of my life. Whether you like it or not, it's my job. Other people might play it, but it's still my job.

The TGL indoor golf league is basically a 'Dude Perfect life simulator'

The new PGA thing, it looks like, like a dude perfect life simulator. The indoor tour with Rory and tiger. There's just going to like be standing in convention halls, just like smashing drives. And they're turning they're basically, they're trying to turn golf into, as close to a video game as you can get.

Monday Night Golf is a perfect idea and more sports should use Monday nights

They're going to start doing Monday night golf, which I don't know why more sports don't do this. Monday night is the perfect night for sports because everyone's like, oh man, I wish it was the weekend. Monday sucks. Give us sports. Every Monday night, every Monday, there should be Monday night football every Monday night in different sports.

Boobs are the undisputed #1 overall pick for things that are cooler in slow motion

Boobs, easy. So they said, when we said slow motion, max, Hank and memes... they're like, oh, easy way. Who picked? Yeah. But you guys were going to pick it... literally Max took his pants off and started jerking off. He's like boom, boom and boom.

I wouldn't give up watching football even to double my net worth

[Speaker 4]: Would you double your net worth if it meant that you were no longer allowed to watch NFL football? [Wahlberg]: No, I don't think so. I don't think it distracts me or it takes away from what I'm doing in my primary business on my job.

Tom Cruise is the biggest movie star in the history of film

I got to tell you, Tom cruise is probably the biggest movie star in the history of film. One of them, for sure. I know if I could get the chance to work with Tom I'm showing up.

Conor McGregor's frustration with the UFC stems from WME buying the company after he was the one driving the business

I think [Conor McGregor] was just frustrated because, when WME bought the UFC for a real number, he was the one who was really driving the business. So he was a little frustrated that guys were buying in and making money, but it was an investment opportunity.

Hangovers at age 37 are a traumatic experience that ruins your entire week

I'm pre upset at myself for how shitty I'm going to feel on Saturday and Sunday... I know I can reach my peak. It's just the, when I reached my peak, the aftermath is very, very difficult to bounce back with. So I'm, I probably won't feel good again until mid next week. So yeah, pre fire-festing the hangover and the regret that I have from going on a bachelor party at 37.

Once you reach a certain age, the hangover punishment for having fun is far worse than the fun itself

The punishment for having fun is now way worse than the fun itself. So you'll just never have fun again. I've kind of reached that point as well where you're scared of what you're going to have to deal with in the aftermath.

Hard Knocks episode three is when you realize you're just ready for real football

That feeling of Hard Knocks episode one is one of the best feelings in the calendar because you're like, we want football. And then you get to episode three and you're like, okay, I wanna play real games.

New technology is ruining the art of slacking off in professional sports

[Easy] dealt with something that I realized during this show, I would absolutely hate about being a professional athlete, which is every practice, every rep is videotaped. I think technology's it's ruining the art of slacking off.

The Brooklyn Nets will be a top 4 team in the East if Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving play

I don't know if they'll want, but they were like before Kevin Durant got hurt, they were the one seed last year. I think if Kyrie and Kevin Durant and that's a big if play, they will be a top I don't know what we call it, three, four, four team in the East.

Kevin Durant's staying in Brooklyn signals the end of extreme player empowerment

I just feel like the way that this whole thing went down, it's gonna wake up a lot of different GMs and owners around the league where it's like, oh yeah, you don't actually have to trade somebody just because they ask you to. I think this is like one of those course correction things where the pendulum is gonna swing back away from player empowerment.

Kevin Durant was mentally healthier when he was using burner accounts on Twitter

I actually think [Kevin Durant] needs to go back to the burners. I feel like he was more mentally healthy when he was mentally unhealthy. He's just—his Twitter right now, it's just tough when he's trying to dunk on people when again, this kind of was his fault.

Ben Simmons, Kyrie Irving, and Kevin Durant will combine for under 139 games played for the Nets this season

Set the over under, if we could put up a bet, that's like will Ben Simmons, Kyrie, and Kevin Durant play over under 139 games for the Brooklyn Nets? I'm taking the under big time.

Will Zalatoris made a deal with the devil to win one tournament and his injury is the cost

I'm nervous that he made a deal with the devil and the deal with the devil was let me win one. That's what I'm nervous about. And I bet on him last week to finish top 10... I'm nervous cuz it feels like the timing is [predominant].

If you never missed a 3-point shot, you would easily make an NBA roster regardless of your defense

If you made every three point shot you ever took, do you think that they would put you on an NBA team? Easily. Yes, absolutely. Million percent. I'd be the best player of all time. You'd get just torched on defense, but you have three points every time you shoot it.