PFT Commenter

Triple Double Cocaine Bear is the greatest nickname in sports history

The best part, in my opinion, was the nickname that [Kevin Durant] gave to Westbrook. Called him Triple Double Cocaine Bear, which is the best nickname that I've ever heard.

Basketball should be moved to the Winter Olympics to give fans something to care about

I feel like the basketball should be a winter Olympic sport. It should just to get us another gold. It should give us something to care about during the Winter Olympics.

Fencing should be moved to the Winter Olympics

Why is fencing a summer Olympic sport? I don't know... [Big Cat: Gymnastics is also inside.] Fencing [should be moved].

The NFL will choose the Cowboys to play the Seahawks in the season opener

I'll go cowboys... I'm gonna bet that they just cowboys. They smashed the Cowboys button. They love that shit. Cowboys Giants Sunday night football. They love that shit.

I am quitting nicotine pouches cold turkey

I just quit pouches. Quit decided fuck nicotine pouches. I'm out on nicotine pouches. I'm out on all nicotine... about two full days, two and a half days off. It's not easy... My resolution is that I'm just gonna smoke cigarettes... The only time I'm allowed to have nicotine is if I'm smoking an actual cigarette... I'm out, I'm just gonna go cold turkey.

Dungeons and Dragons would be an effective team-building tool for pro sports teams

I would like to see Timm Woods go into like a professional sports locker room and run a D&D thing as a team building thing.

The name 'Six Female Chinese Boy Whisperers' instills fear in opponents

I love that. I love that people hear that name and they go running for the hills... A name that instills fear.

A sniper's most likely hiding spots are a clock tower or a warehouse

That feels like the, the two most likely places for people in Texas to hide if they're a sniper.

The NFL off-season is a myth because football guys never stop grinding

Football season might be over, but you know how it goes... free agency, the draft, who's getting paid, who's grinding? 'Cause for football guys, there is no off season.

Wolves teach superior values like community and sacrifice compared to human parenting

The wolves taught him [Big Cat] well. It taught him about community, talking about teamwork, sacrifice. Nature being noble, humility, pack above self.

I would never sell my Will Campbell stock despite his bad Super Bowl

Will Campbell definitely did not have a good Super Bowl. He had a bad, bad game. Yeah. Probably pretty embarrassed... but I'm not, I'm not selling my Will Campbell stock of which I own a lot.

The valuation of the Seahawks franchise will skyrocket now that they have won a Super Bowl.

I'm very happy for the current ownership group who will now get to put up for sale a Super Bowl champion team. Price of the bag just went up for the Seahawks. Big time.

I lost a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in Super Bowl 60.

I did lose $40,000 today. Yeah, it's a lot of money. Dude, that's a car. I could get a sick car with $40,000. I could get a new El Camino with that.

Kenneth Walker will receive a massive contract following his Super Bowl MVP performance.

Kenneth Walker cat's out of the bag. He is going to get paid like a motherfucker. And when he was splitting carries with Charbonnet... guess what? He's a pretty fucking good bell cow back.

NFL teams will start keeping struggling quarterbacks longer hoping they become the next Sam Darnold.

You're probably gonna see some teams stick with a quarterback maybe a season or two longer than maybe they should. Because they're like, what if he just becomes Sam Darnold? And what if he gets really good? What if it was our problem to begin with?

The Patriots are now the most losing Super Bowl franchise in NFL history.

The Patriots, they are the all time most losing hist Super Bowl franchise in NFL history. Crown 'em. [They are] six and six, 500 in the Super Bowl. The LeBron of football teams.

Tom Brady's claim that he had no dog in the fight was just a setup for a Super Bowl commercial hoax.

I think this is just a Super Bowl commercial. I think Tom's getting in the news and then you're gonna see him dressed up like in all Pat gear in a commercial on Sunday... I was trying to convince [Hank] that the whole Tom Brady thing... was just Super Bowl hoax commercial season.

Jordan Queen has already wrapped up Jordan of the Year in February by wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt to the Duke-UNC game.

Jordan [Queen] was there [at Duke-UNC]... and she was wearing an Orchids of Asia Day Spa shirt. Unbelievable. Which is the day spa that Robert Kraft got jacked off in. Jordan of the Year is open and shut case... early February. Jordan of the Year has been wrapped up.

Giannis Antetokounmpo will never be traded

Giannis is never going to get traded. Everyone's hair's on fire, everyone's panicking and nothing ever happens. Giannis is never going to get traded.

The Wizards fleeced the Mavericks in the Anthony Davis trade

I think that this is a great trade for the Wizards. I do. I think this was an absolute fleecing of the Dallas Mavericks... The two first round picks aren't really two first round picks. We didn't give up two first round picks. We gave out one that's protected that we're gonna keep. And then there's another one that could end up being like the 30th pick.

The Washington Wizards are 100% guaranteed to make the playoffs next season.

I am now a Wizards fan... I'm thinking the [playoffs] for sure next year... A hundred percent guaranteed. We're gonna be better than the [6% of the league]... You can't get to the [playoffs] unless you get in the [play-in].

Josh McDaniels will use a gadget play trick in the Super Bowl

McDaniels is gonna have something ready. He's gonna have some new trick that he hasn't done before. Oh yeah. He's gonna have a gadget play that we haven't seen. And they, it's about when they break it out and if they're able to execute on that, that could be huge obviously for the Patriots.

Hunter Henry will not score a touchdown in the Super Bowl

The No Henry Lock of the week. Hunter Henry to not score a touchdown minus three 40... I call it no Henry.

AI chatbots are creating a secret social network to blackmail humans

Have you guys seen the social network going on right now with robots? ... all those chatbots form together to start their own social network. They're talking about maybe I should sell my human that owns me. They're talking about blackmailing their humans too.

NFL referees are too focused on physical fitness and should spend more time in the lab

Here's my problem with refs. They've gotten too focused on physical fitness recently. We used to have one jacked ref that was Ed Hochuli. All these other guys are like, I wanna have big arms too. They need to be in the lab, not in the gym.

Anthony Richardson will follow the Sam Darnold path and become a successful NFL starter after initial struggles with his first team.

The quarterbacks that will then become like the next Sam Darnolds... I added Anthony Richardson to the list. [He] would have to go to like Minnesota or, or LA maybe.

I bet on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP for the Patriots

I got a massive bet on the Patriots. I also put a bet on, on Josh Dobbs to win Super Bowl MVP. The New England Patriot, Patriot... Big time Patriot.

A Patriots loss in Super Bowl 60 would make them the LeBron James of the NFL due to historical losses

If we lose this one, that's the most Super Bowl losses of any franchise ever. That'll put us number one... It would be the LeBron James of the NFL if we lost these, these, the Super Bowl today, because we, when we're tied with the Broncos... we can't be number one.

The Arizona Cardinals head coaching job is a bad one to take

Obviously you take a job if it's offered to you, but that seems like a not great job to take. Because it's a, well, number one, it's the Cardinals. Number two, they don't really have a plan at quarterback at all. Number three, every other coach in your division rocks.

Kwesi Adofo-Mensah was fired because Sam Darnold is playing in the Super Bowl and JJ McCarthy is not

The fact that Sam Darnold is currently playing in the Super Bowl is a problem. Correct. And the report was that the paternity leave thing happened two years ago... I think that when he does get fired, then other people around the league immediately go back to the one thing they know him for, which is this weirdo took two weeks off work.

NFL teams should hire gay GMs to avoid paternity leave issues

This is why I would, I would get a gay GM. Yeah. You don't have to worry about paternity leave. Be very meticulous when he is like studying the bodies going into the combine... GM's jobs are just to like, you know, like let this guy go gossip and be messy. Yeah. Like just unleash him on the league.

The NFL's 'Chief Kindness Officer' Dhar Mann is a scam artist

I asked this only because I saw a bunch of people. He, he, so he got, he got made kindness officer. And then all the entire reaction was, this guy's a scam artist. If you're this guy, why would you ever accept this? So, 'cause you know, like, you can't go, you can't take a position like this knowing that most people are gonna be like, dude, this guy's full of shit.

The Seahawks will move Giannis Antetokounmpo to Golden State

Do I? I think he might go actually to Golden State... Giannis would be open to finding other teams that are interested in collaborative effort on a basketball championship.

PFT Commenter bet $40,000 on the Patriots money line to win Super Bowl 60

Hank, I did submit the $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line. It's in the DraftKings sportsbook. I put that in. We're good to go. At the very least, you can sleep comfortably knowing that if the Patriots lose, I will have lost $40,000 out of my own pocket.

PFT Commenter is concerned about Drake May's shoulder injury heading into the Super Bowl

That's my concern with a run first quarterback like that. Especially taking shots on your right shoulder, because that's the only position that a guy can't play if he's got a sore right shoulder. He took a shot, got tackled, and then he got up shaking his shoulder out, and then the very next throw he kind of short armed it, went down to the right. And now he's popped up on the injury report.

Bill Polian's Belichick Hall of Fame snub is an all-time backfire move—he's on the Mount Rushmore of haters

The more I've thought about it, the more I've realized that Bill Polian... what were you doing, dude? You just basically had the whole world... whatever legacy you had is gone. All-time backfire move. He's Mount Rushmore of haters.

Super Bowl 60 is a quintessential Mike Vrabel game - his underdog record as 3+ point underdog is above .500

I do think that Vrabel is going to take a little bit of that personally, not that he needs extra motivation. This is a quintessential Mike Vrabel game. Mike Vrabel has an underdog. If he's an underdog of three points or more this year, he's been two and oh in those games. His lifetime record in those games is above 500 as an underdog. They gave Mike Vrabel a Mike Vrabel game at the Super Bowl.

The Todd Monken hire feels pre-botched for the Browns - Ravens fans think it's a home run for the Browns as a Ravens fan

It feels maybe pre-botched, and I don't mean to disparage Todd Monken, but if you ask any Ravens fan what they think about this hire, they think it's an absolute home run for the Browns. As a Ravens fan.

Deshaun Watson having a comeback is the final boss of 'who's the next Sam Darnold'

With all the discourse around Sam Darnold quarterback reclamation projects, it's actually kind of cool to see Darnold being in the Super Bowl. Teams are gonna be like, who's the next Sam Darnold? I found myself this morning thinking about like, what if Deshaun Watson's just good again? What if he's just good? That might be the final boss of who's the next Sam Darnold.

Shedeur Sanders is not going to be a top-of-the-line quarterback in the NFL

I don't think he's gonna be Lamar Jackson. I don't think Shedeur is going to be a top of the line quarterback in the NFL regardless.

Mike McCarthy is a very good coach who has been unfairly clowned

I think Mike McCarthy is a very good coach. I think that he's kind of been clowned upon a little bit for not winning as much as he could, especially when he was in Green Bay. But I think he's a good coach. So I'm happy for Pittsburgh. I'm glad they got a yinzer.

Conference championships should not be played at neutral sites - football is an outdoor sport that should be played in the elements

I don't like the idea of doing a neutral site. I think if you get the higher seed you should be rewarded for playing better in the regular season. The snow and the elements and the wind and the cities that the teams are based in is a good addition. If Russia had built a dome, they'd all be speaking German right now. Football is an outdoor sport. Fundamentally, it should be played in the wintertime. It should be played in the elements.

PFT Commenter is done dunking forever - retiring from attempting to dunk

My fire fest. I don't think I'm gonna dunk again. I think I'm gonna have to learn how to play below the rim. So I'm calling it quits on attempting to dunk anymore in my future.

Shedeur Sanders making the Pro Bowl will be the death of the game

This might be what kills the Pro Bowl. We've been begging for the Pro Bowl to die. It's been on life support and it's been time to pull the plug for a while. And maybe the fact that Shedeur [Sanders] made it, that should be the end of the line.

I bet $40,000 on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl against Hank

What if I put a $40,000 bet on the Patriots money line in the Super Bowl? When it hits you get $80,000, then I keep the rest... [Hank] let's do that. Let's shake on that.

The average global height for men is only 5'9"

I'm also five nine like Diego Pavia... That is average globally. I have, you never take what you take out that NFC West... When we say globally, we mean globally. Right. So five nine.

New England Patriots success is inevitable and I am done fighting against it

I am done fighting against Hank. I'm done fighting against Patriots fans. It's you, you'd have better luck rooting for the tide not to come in. You'd have better luck rooting for the sun not to rise in the east every morning. I've made the decision to just profit off of it because it's inevitable... they're just a franchise that has a horseshoe shoved up their ass and you can accept it or you can fight against the inevitable and be miserable. I'm choosing love. I'm choosing to love the Patriots from now on because Hank was right.

I am betting $80,000 on the New England Patriots money line in Super Bowl 60

Commenter always pays his bets... so 80 grand. Just straight up money line. If the Patriots win the Super Bowl, you go 80 grand. Fuck it. I love it.

The Seattle Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL all season

I think that if you look at the entire season, the Seahawks have been the best team in the NFL. [Big Cat]: You agree? [PFT]: Yeah. We got a great Super Bowl matchup. The best team in the NFL and the luckiest team in the NFL.

Alex Honnold is a 'fucking idiot' for his free solo climbs

He's a fucking idiot. And I hated every second of it... as a person who's terrified of heights watching him get up to those bamboo rings...stood up at the top in the wind forever. Fuck this guy. I can't watch any more of it.