Takes

LeBron James is likely rooting for Kevin Love to miss time with a concussion so he has an excuse for losing

I feel like LeBron's probably rooting for Kevin [Love] to be out with a concussion because that way he's got something to point his finger at and be like, 'we weren't healthy.' He's got a little excuse there. If you're LeBron, you're making middle notes of all the excuses along the way that you can use.

The Golden State Warriors are better off without Steph Curry

I've seen enough and I know enough that if you take Steph out of the Warriors, they're just as good, if not better. [They haven't said his name] all series because he's been on the bench all series.

The Cavaliers are finished in the 2016 NBA Finals

Cavs, done or finished. It's looking pretty bad, man. I actually thought they were going to win tonight. It's looking pretty bad. I'm going to say they're finished.

LeBron James lacks grit because he peaked in high school

LeBron has no grit, but it's not from his own – it's not his own fault... I think that LeBron's just been screwed over. Like I said, the guy peaked in high school and... he was back in, like, 11th, 12th grade being put in the center of the universe.

LeBron James would be a better player if he had gone to college

I think maybe if LeBron James had gone to college, he would be a better player. What do you learn in college? You learn how to make new friends and how to trust other people. LeBron has some trouble with that.

LeBron James peaked in high school

I'll be the first to say it. LeBron James peaked in high school. There it is. Boom.

We need to stop talking about Shaun Livingston's knee injury because it was a decade ago

At what point can we just move on from the Shaun Livingston knee issue? It's been, I don't know, six, seven years. He's been totally fine for a really long time... I just want people to stop with Sean Livingston's stuff. He had a knee injury 10 years ago. Knees grow back by then.

The 1996 Bulls are the best team of all time because they hold the record for combined regular and postseason wins

If you add up the regular season and the postseason record, the Bulls already have the title for best team of all time. This chicken is fucked. Put to bed. Tucked in.

The Knicks should sign Joakim Noah because he still has more in the tank

I feel like there's more in the tank for [Joakim Noah]. I feel like he's been injured and I just feel like he's such a team dude and a character dude and the energy... if he came to New York that would be big for New York.

Warriors in 7 over the Cavaliers

Warriors in 7. In a heartbreaker in Oracle Arena. It's going to be a heartbreaker.

Kevin Durant is the Dan Marino of the NBA

Is it fair to say that Kevin Durant is potentially like the Dan Marino of the NBA? You got to start having that conversation, though. Like, is he the best player that will never win a championship?

The Cavaliers will not lose another home game as long as I leave my wallet in the arena

The Cleveland Cavaliers have not lost a game since I left my wallet in the Q... My wallet's going to be in there until the end of the finals and then I'll get it back because I think my wallet has actually helped the Cavs. So if I keep the wallet there, the Cavs aren't going to lose a home game.

The Thunder will smoke the Warriors in Game 6

I think the Thunder are going to smoke the Warriors in game six.

The Warriors are done and will not win the Western Conference Finals

I have the Warriors as done. They are done this season. The Thunder are going to win this series. They are not finished, and the window is half closed.

If the Warriors lose in the playoffs and don't sign Kevin Durant, their championship window is closed

No Kevin Durant plus a Warriors exit this year. Windows closed.

The Warriors' season is over

The Warriors are dead. They're in the grave, man. It's done. It's done. Three to one. They're going back to Oakland. They're not looking like the same team.

The Warriors-Thunder series pivoted entirely on Draymond Green kicking Steven Adams in the nuts

This is probably the first series that has ever pivoted entirely based on the kick to the nuts. That lit a spark. That was the spark that sparked the powder keg.

You don't need an MCL to shoot a basketball

Last time I checked, you don't score with your MCL. You score with your hands and your eyes. What did they teach you when you were learning to shoot? Balance, eyes, elbow, follow through. It's not beef and call. There's no MCL in there.

Steph Curry's poor performance is caused by a teammate sleeping with his mother

That guy [old college teammate] is probably sleeping with Steph [Curry]'s mom, and it's keeping him up. That's it... Everyone knows that if your NBA team loses, someone's having sex with someone's wife or mom.

I expect the NBA Finals to be Thunder vs. Cavaliers

I think it's going to be Thunder, Cavs in the finals. But if there's two teams that can disrupt that, it's the Raptors and the Warriors.

Steph Curry is too fragile for the NBA and needs to add 30 pounds

The scouts were right. He's too fragile to play in the NBA. Needs to add another 20, 30 pounds to his frame this offseason.

The Thunder are the best team in the league when Durant and Westbrook click on the same night

When they [Durant and Westbrook] do that, you can't beat them... They, at some point, will click on the exact same night, and they're the best team in the league.

LeBron James will eventually injure himself while flopping

He's going to flop at some point and do that extra thing that he does and, like, turn his ankle during the flop. And at that point, is it a flop anymore? It's going to be amazing.

LeBron James will dominate Game 4 against the Raptors and rip their hearts out

LeBron is going to come out in game four and he is going to rip the heart out of the Toronto Raptors... what he's going to do is he's going to step on their throats, and Drake is going to be crying at the bench... this is a LeBron James game, game four.

The Cavaliers are Kyrie Irving's team now

I'm going to go out on a limb and say the Cavaliers are Kyrie Irving's team now... Kyrie's awesome. He put up more shots, had more points. I think it's safe to say this is Kyrie Irving's team. And he is the missing ingredient that was not there last year in the finals.

The Raptors are a disgrace to basketball and to Canada

The Raptors are just a disgrace, disgrace to basketball, disgrace to Canada... I don't want to be in the Eastern Conference Finals if you get swept like this.

The Miami Heat-Toronto Raptors playoff series did not actually happen

This backs up my theory that the Miami Heat-Toronto Raptors series did not actually happen... I cannot imagine this Raptors team beating anybody in a seven-game series right now. I don't think that the last series happened. I think that it was just something that they sent the stats online and people saw what the final score of the game was.

The Cavaliers will sweep the Raptors

It's going to be a sweep. I don't think the Raptors can steal one in Toronto even.

Take the under in the Cavaliers-Raptors series

Word to the wise, take the under in the Cavs Raptors series.

I am hashtag done with the Cavs vs. Raptors series after Game 1

This series, I'm done with... I'm hashtag done with this series. I don't think I'm going to watch any more of this series. Fuck this series.

The Phoenix Mercury will be very tough to beat and the Sky won't beat them if they meet in the finals

I do think that the [Phoenix] Mercury are going to be very, very tough to beat. If the [Chicago] Sky go up against them again in the finals, I'm not liking the Sky's chances.

Tim Duncan will likely forget to retire and just keep showing up to the gym through inertia

There's a chance that Tim Duncan just forgets to retire and just by like... through inertia, he keeps showing up at the gym. I think that's more likely than him actually retiring.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Wizards vs. the Warriors, with the Wizards winning in six games

I got the Wizards because John Wall and Kevin Durant are going to be tough to defend. So I got the Wizards going up again. I'm going to say the Warriors make it back again. Wizards, Warriors, Wizards in six.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Cavs vs. the Lakers, with the Lakers winning in seven games

I got Cavs, Lakers, Lakers in seven. [Because] KD is going to the Lakers. And Dwight Howard's going back to the Lakers.

The 2017 NBA Finals will be the Celtics vs. the Warriors

I got Celtics and Warriors. Kevin Durant and Isaiah Thomas are going to be a serious force to be reckoned with.

Kevin Love is the best player of all time because he is 12-0 in the playoffs

People forget that Kevin Love is undefeated in the NBA playoffs... He's undefeated. 12-0. The Cavs literally never lost with Kevin Love. Kevin Love has literally never lost in the playoffs. He's maybe the best player of all time.

Steph Curry has been a detriment to the Warriors for years

I think Curry has been a detriment to this team for several years now. From the moment that he forced them to trade the eminently superior Monta Ellis.

The Golden State Warriors offense works better without Steph Curry

Now I'm starting to hear reporters out West saying that the, that the Warriors function in like a more smooth offense. Now that Steph Curry's gone...

LeBron James has been doing steroids since the day he was born

Steph Curry's hurt, Chris Paul's hurt, Blake Griffin's hurt, you know who's never missed the playoff game? LeBron James. But LeBron James has always been huge. ... Always has been doing steroids probably since the day he was born. I've never seen a more clear steroid case in my life than LeBron James.

Russell Westbrook is an All-Star, not a NBA Superstar

Westbrook? All-star. I agree with [Mark] Cuban. Not a superstar. My criteria for superstar is a superstar has at least like 10 million Chinese people wearing their shoes.

Anthony Davis isn't a superstar because he claimed he couldn't get a date on Tinder

Anthony Davis? He's a bum. He's a bum right now. Did you see him on the thing with Tinder? He was saying he couldn't get a date. Now let me ask this: Does an all-star, a star, a superstar ever not be able to get a date? Anthony Davis is a bum.

Jimmy Butler is a bad leader and a bum

Jimmy Butler is an all-star, but he's also – he's got a couple bum qualities in him that have pissed me off. ... He's an all-star who thinks he's a superstar, which then makes that part of his brain bum-like. ... He is the leader of the Bulls now, yes, but he's a bad leader. ... All right, fine. He's a bum star.

The Golden State Warriors are better without Steph Curry because Klay Thompson can finally shine

I think the Golden State Warriors are a better basketball team without Steph Curry... Thompson can really shine now. [Clay] will actually get to shoot. And he's actually a better shooter than [Steph].

Stanley Johnson is actually in LeBron James' head by making LeBron think he's crazy

So you're thinking LeBron has probably read this and was like – like laughed it off, like, ha, ha, ha, ha, Stanley Johnson thinks he's in my head. And then there was a quick pause, and he's like, uh – maybe he is. I don't know.

Wearing a headband increases an athlete's vertical jump by four inches

I've always had a theory about headbands too, that headbands increase your vertical jump at least temporarily by about four inches.

Matthew Dellavedova could make the roster of most NHL teams

I will say that Matt Dellavedova could probably make the roster of most NHL players, but he's probably the only NBA player that I think could cross over into the other sport.

The NBA's new hustle stats are just a way for Matthew Dellavedova's agent to get him a big payday

Basically it's like—it's Matthew Dellavedova's agent coming up with these stats to try to get Delly a big payday this offseason. Just being in somebody's face for a shot is now a stat.

The 2016 Golden State Warriors will win the NBA title and become an all-time team

The Golden State Warriors won their 72nd game last night against the Spurs. So now they are an all-time team. Unless they don't win the title. If they don't win the title, then it really doesn't matter. But we all kind of assume they will win the title. The Spurs will probably give them a great series. They will be an all-time team.

The UConn women's basketball team would be a 3-5 point favorite over the Philadelphia 76ers

I think that the – well, yeah, [UConn women] are going to win, and I think that the spread against the Sixers, they'd be like three to five-point favorites, depending if it was in UConn or if it was being played in Philly.

Villanova would beat the Philadelphia 76ers

So yeah, I Villanova, I'd take Villanova over the Sixers.