Takes

Nobody cares about the NBA All-Star Game

NBA All Star Game. Do not care. Do not care at all. Fun to complain about, but it's just, it's the do not care at all. No one cares.

LeBron James is on steroids because of his size and longevity

I will go with LeBron James. I mean, how is he not on steroids? That big. I'm not throwing a flag. That's probably an honorable mention. I mean there's, that's probably an honorable mention.

Chris Paul will never win a championship

Second pick is gonna be Chris Paul. Chris Paul can't win the big one. Just can't do it. He's never gonna win the big one.

Caitlin Clark is on the 'can't win the big one' list because she never won a title at Iowa

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She lost... she literally college cannot win the big one and like, I don't know what else you could say about it.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT of basketball, shoes, and coolness

And it's Michael Jordan. Easy. Okay. Easy pick. Mike, mj, the goat. He's the goat in basketball. He's the goat in shoes. He's the goat in coolness. He's the goat.

LeBron James is on the Mt. Rushmore of GOATs

We're going with LeBron James... I like our list. It's a team effort. I value, I value my teammates picks.

Magic Johnson is the greatest nickname in sports history

I think it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just becomes his name. It is Magic Johnson. There is no one better than Magic Johnson. Irvin Johnson becoming Magic. I mean, it's just synonymous.

Sebastian Telfair was going to be the greatest NBA player of all time

Sebastian Telfair Through the Wire. I watched that movie like this kid is going to be... I was like this He's skipping College like he's dominating Dwight Howard. He is going to be the greatest NBA player of all time.

Greg Oden was a better prospect than Kevin Durant

I was Big Time Greg Odin's better than Kevin Durant and I was like, how can you pass on a big man this good? I think I was probably biased because he played you know, I watched him play the Big Ten... I would have put everything on Greg Oden being that block.

Michael Jordan's competitive drive is the athlete trait I wish I had most

I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive. That will be my number one.

Bronny James Jr. is a 'buy' stock for future greatness

This is the anti-pander pick, Bronny James Jr. I'm going to squat on that one. I'm going to buy that stock.

Bronny James Jr. will be a bust

You are forgetting that this is all about a mountain of greatness. Not predicting future greatness. I still went with Bronny James Jr. Plus, he's going to be a bust.

Sam Cassell would be the perfect athlete to storm Area 51 because the aliens would think he's one of them

My second one, I guess I'll go with Sam Cassell. Just because, you know, maybe if there is any type of, like, maybe these guys are like us, they'll see Sam Cassell and be like, all right, that's an ally.

Dwight Howard is the ultimate locker room cancer because he ruins every team he joins

dwight howard is my number one in like the world to me he is everywhere he goes he is terrible... he's been with all those teams. He's ruined all of those teams. I honestly think if you put him on your team, you're just basically... trying to destroy your team from within.

The Michael Jordan statue is the most iconic sports statue in the world

I'm going to MJ's statue, iconic statue. It's a logo that everyone, you know, it's basically the coolest logo in the world. That's the number one sports statue in the world in my mind.

Colangelo's burner accounts are the weirdest NBA storyline of the season

I still got to go with a general manager in the NBA getting fired for someone in his family, possibly him, burner tweeting his own players. Collar gate.

Kyrie Irving is waiting until 2019 to sign an extension to get $80 million extra

When [Kyrie Irving] said that he wasn't going to stay in a contract extension this summer with Boston, that is because if he waits until next year, he can get $80 million extra from Boston.

LeBron James playing all 82 games at age 33 is highly suspicious

LeBron James, 33 years old, 15 years in the league, played all 82 games. Seems like his durability's going up at 33. Most athletes, their durability goes down. [Implying HGH use].

The Detroit Pistons 90s horse logo jersey is one of the worst ever

My number one was the Pistons throwback. Remember when the Pistons changed their logo in the 90s? The green and yellow and red horse. The worst jersey criteria is when the original jersey was great and the original logo was great. They're like, we're just going to make everything weird colors.

Wally Szczerbiak and Keith Van Horn were going to be incredible NBA players

I thought that Nick Kaner-Medley, Wally Szczerbiak, Steve Wojciechowski, and Keith Van Horn would all be incredible NBA players.

Rajon Rondo is just one notch below Paul Pierce in Celtics history

When Rajon Rondo got traded to the Mavericks, I said he was a notch below Pierce, who was like a notch below Bill Russell.

Madison Square Garden is the best place to play in the NBA

My number one pick, my favorite city always to visit is New York. The Garden is one of the most fun places to play. Just the energy, even when they're not as good or even if they have more hype. It's always a good crowd, great city.

Phoenix is a sleeper NBA city with huge potential

Number two, kind of a sleeper city for me, is Phoenix. Young. It's a good time. Great weather always. I like to get in there a little early. Just take my claim, put them on the Mount Rushmore, and then when they do blow up, it's like, hey, I was here from the beginning.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT

Michael Jordan. The GOAT.

LeBron James is still fighting his inevitable baldness but will eventually have to give in

See, [LeBron] is fighting it. He's really still fighting it. Eventually, he'll come home, but he's putting up the good fight.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

I hope the Cavaliers beat the Warriors again next year

I hope the Cavs beat the Warriors again next year. Then David West goes to the Cavs. And then the Warriors beat the Cavs. And he's just stuck losing like every single year.

LeBron James is the greatest of all time

LeBron James, greatest of all time. 23.