Takes

Nobody cares about the NBA All-Star Game

NBA All Star Game. Do not care. Do not care at all. Fun to complain about, but it's just, it's the do not care at all. No one cares.

LeBron James is on steroids because of his size and longevity

I will go with LeBron James. I mean, how is he not on steroids? That big. I'm not throwing a flag. That's probably an honorable mention. I mean there's, that's probably an honorable mention.

Chris Paul will never win a championship

Second pick is gonna be Chris Paul. Chris Paul can't win the big one. Just can't do it. He's never gonna win the big one.

Caitlin Clark is officially on the 'can't win the big one' list until she wins a professional title

Caitlin Clark can't win the big one. She has not been able to win the big one. She literally college cannot win the big one and I don't know what else you could say about it. That's gonna get people real mad. Angel Reese can win the big one, she's a better winner.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT of basketball, shoes, and coolness

And it's Michael Jordan. Easy. Okay. Easy pick. Mike, mj, the goat. He's the goat in basketball. He's the goat in shoes. He's the goat in coolness. He's the goat.

LeBron James is on the Mt. Rushmore of GOATs

We're going with LeBron James... I like our list. It's a team effort. I value, I value my teammates picks.

Getting pissed off that NBA refs don't call carrying anymore is a sign that you have become your father.

Getting actually pissed off during a basketball game that they don't call carrying anymore. Calling players doing like pointing at the TV and saying, 'That's a carry.' That was a moment for me where it's like, I am my dad at this point.

Kobe Bryant's 'Black Mamba' is one of the greatest athlete nicknames of all time

We are going to go with, may he rest in peace, the black Mamba... it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just become, his has become his name.

Magic Johnson is the greatest nickname in sports history

I think it's probably the greatest nickname of all time because it just becomes his name. It is Magic Johnson. There is no one better than Magic Johnson. Irvin Johnson becoming Magic. I mean, it's just synonymous.

Sebastian Telfair was going to be the greatest NBA player of all time

Sebastian Telfair Through the Wire. I watched that movie like this kid is going to be... I was like this He's skipping College like he's dominating Dwight Howard. He is going to be the greatest NBA player of all time.

Greg Oden was a better prospect than Kevin Durant

I was Big Time Greg Odin's better than Kevin Durant and I was like, how can you pass on a big man this good? I think I was probably biased because he played you know, I watched him play the Big Ten... I would have put everything on Greg Oden being that block.

Michael Jordan's competitive drive is the athlete trait I wish I had most

I'll start with Michael Jordan's competitive drive. That will be my number one.

Bronny James Jr. is a 'buy' stock for future greatness

This is the anti-pander pick, Bronny James Jr. I'm going to squat on that one. I'm going to buy that stock.

Bronny James Jr. will be a bust

You are forgetting that this is all about a mountain of greatness. Not predicting future greatness... Plus, [Bronny James Jr.]'s going to be a bust.

Dennis Rodman is a top pick to storm Area 51 because of his diplomatic experience in North Korea

My first pick, I'll just take Dennis Rodman because he went to North Korea. He can figure out diplomatic stuff. He will be able to talk to the aliens.

Sam Cassell would be the perfect athlete to storm Area 51 because the aliens would think he's one of them

My second one, I guess I'll go with Sam Cassell. Just because, you know, maybe if there is any type of, like, maybe these guys are like us, they'll see Sam Cassell and be like, all right, that's an ally.

James Harden's step-back move is a travel every single time

All right, my third travel complaint is James Harden's little step-back move that he does. That is absolutely a travel. It's a walk every single time. He travels, and they never call it. It's disgusting.

Dwight Howard is the ultimate locker room cancer because he ruins every team he joins

dwight howard is my number one in like the world to me he is everywhere he goes he is terrible... he's been with all those teams. He's ruined all of those teams. I honestly think if you put him on your team, you're just basically... trying to destroy your team from within.

Latrell Sprewell is a top-tier locker room cancer because he choked his coach

My number three, I will go with Latrell Sprewell. Choked his coach. Probably not good for locker room morale.

Gilbert Arenas is one of the biggest locker room cancers ever because he pulled a gun on a teammate

I'm going to go with Gilbert Arenas. People forget he pulled a gun on his teammate. That's pretty bad, I would think.

The Michael Jordan statue is the most iconic sports statue in the world

I'm going to MJ's statue, iconic statue. It's a logo that everyone, you know, it's basically the coolest logo in the world. That's the number one sports statue in the world in my mind.

Colangelo's burner accounts are the weirdest NBA storyline of the season

I still got to go with a general manager in the NBA getting fired for someone in his family, possibly him, burner tweeting his own players. Collar gate.

J.R. Smith throwing soup at Damon Jones is a weirder storyline than him forgetting the score in the Finals

J.R. Smith for getting the score in the finals is less crazy than J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at an assistant coach in anger. [Big Cat: J.R. Smith throwing a bowl of soup at Damon Jones... that's my number one.]

Markelle Fultz forgetting how to shoot a basketball is one of the craziest stories in NBA history

Markelle Fultz just forgetting how to shoot a basketball... I feel like now because he seems like he's going to be okay, we've kind of lost how crazy that was. He doesn't play for the majority of the season because he just forgot how to shoot.

The Kawhi Leonard and Spurs 'injury management' saga is one of the weirdest stories of the season

Kawhi Leonard is the next weirdest storyline. He spent large chunks of time away from the team... Tony Parker comes out and says, I had the same injury, but a million times worse... Spurs were not putting him on the injury report as being hurt. They said, return from injury management.

Kyrie Irving is waiting until 2019 to sign an extension to get $80 million extra

When [Kyrie Irving] said that he wasn't going to stay in a contract extension this summer with Boston, that is because if he waits until next year, he can get $80 million extra from Boston.

LeBron James playing all 82 games at age 33 is highly suspicious

LeBron James, 33 years old, 15 years in the league, played all 82 games. Seems like his durability's going up at 33. Most athletes, their durability goes down. [Implying HGH use].

The NBA is rigged and a deep dive would reveal several fixed outcomes

My number four [30 for 30]... was just the NBA being rigged. I would like a whole deep dive. [I'd like to know] the frozen envelope. I'd like to know if [David] Stern actually suspended MJ for gambling... LeBron winning his first ring. I'd like to know that Lakers-Kings game [with Tim Donaghy].

LeBron James is addicted to HGH

The 30 for 30 on LeBron leading his team through subtweets and an addiction to HGH... I think he's proof positive of that.

The Detroit Pistons 90s horse logo jersey is one of the worst ever

My number one was the Pistons throwback. Remember when the Pistons changed their logo in the 90s? The green and yellow and red horse. The worst jersey criteria is when the original jersey was great and the original logo was great. They're like, we're just going to make everything weird colors.

Wally Szczerbiak and Keith Van Horn were going to be incredible NBA players

I thought that Nick Kaner-Medley, Wally Szczerbiak, Steve Wojciechowski, and Keith Van Horn would all be incredible NBA players.

Rajon Rondo is just one notch below Paul Pierce in Celtics history

When Rajon Rondo got traded to the Mavericks, I said he was a notch below Pierce, who was like a notch below Bill Russell.

Madison Square Garden is the best place to play in the NBA

My number one pick, my favorite city always to visit is New York. The Garden is one of the most fun places to play. Just the energy, even when they're not as good or even if they have more hype. It's always a good crowd, great city.

Phoenix is a sleeper NBA city with huge potential

Number two, kind of a sleeper city for me, is Phoenix. Young. It's a good time. Great weather always. I like to get in there a little early. Just take my claim, put them on the Mount Rushmore, and then when they do blow up, it's like, hey, I was here from the beginning.

Toronto is a premier NBA city because it is culturally diverse and a great tax city to play in

Number three, I'm going Toronto. North of the border. Toronto's great, culturally diverse country. Solid fans, great tax city to play in. Also Drake, you could be friends with Drake.

Boston is a top-four NBA city to visit and play in

I'll tell you, I went with Boston as number four. Great call. I think definitely half of me [loves it]. I mean, half of me loves it. The other half, it's hit and miss. It depends on who I run into.

Portland is the #1 NBA city because the fans have nothing else to do except hike and watch basketball

I actually, along those same lines, I went Portland. Especially with the old Jailblazers. Those guys used to have a real good time out there. I think Portland has some of the best fans... That's because they're homeless, so they don't have anywhere else to go. No one in Portland has a job. They move around from bookstore to food truck to Trailblazers games.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT

Michael Jordan. The GOAT.

LeBron James is still fighting his inevitable baldness but will eventually have to give in

See, [LeBron] is fighting it. He's really still fighting it. Eventually, he'll come home, but he's putting up the good fight.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

The NBA players in the 80s were more authentic because they weren't friends and didn't go on 'banana boats' together

I always like when people compare the NBA today to the 80s when guys weren't friends. They were not friends. People forget that Magic and LeBron, they didn't go on—I mean, Magic and Larry Bird, they didn't go on banana boats together. It was a different era.

LeBron James is the greatest of all time

LeBron James, greatest of all time. 23.