Takes

Antonio Brown will dominate the Arena Football League

I think [Antonio Brown] will probably dominate them if I had to guess. He was in the league, what, two years ago? He won a Super Bowl three years ago.

The NFL season opener will be either Eagles vs. Jets or Chiefs vs. Cowboys.

I think I'm gonna put my pin in this one. I think it's gonna be the Eagles and the Jets to start the season. Either that or Chiefs Cowboys.

Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same room will fix Wilson's career

Aaron Rodgers... he might be the one guy that's able to fix what are the fuck's happening in Zach Wilson... Aaron Rodgers and Zach Wilson being in the same quarterback room is going to actually help... At least they do Ayahuasca together.

The way Aaron Rodgers plays has fundamentally changed quarterback mechanics

The way Aaron Rodgers plays the game has totally changed a lot of quarterback fundamentals... especially mechanics and just the way Aaron Rodgers throws the ball. That's sort of the school of thought that Zach Wilson came from.

Jacoby Brissett is the best quarterback in the NFL at the QB sneak besides Jalen Hurts

Jacobi Brissett is the best non-bush push [tush push] quarterback sneaker in the NFL... Statistically, I think even last, for the last couple seasons, Jacobi's been better than everybody besides Jalen Hurts.

Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers for the upcoming season

Leroy's first report... Aaron Rodgers is returning to the Green Bay Packers. Fuck. For the upcoming season.

Russell Wilson will be tortured by Rex Ryan's defense in practice

Rex Ryan interviewed for the Denver Broncos' defensive coordinator job. I want this so badly because Russell Wilson would just be tortured by Rex Ryan's defense in practice every week. And it would be so fucking funny.

Matt Nagy will win 2-3 Super Bowls with Patrick Mahomes

Matt Nagy... he's gonna be the offensive coordinator now and then gonna be the heir apparent to Andy Reid. So it's just everything that I've already expected and my worst nightmare. He's gonna win two to three Super Bowls with Patrick Mahomes. That's gonna happen.

The Eagles will win Super Bowl LVII

I mean regardless... I mean you guys [Eagles] are gonna win.

Mike McCarthy taking over play-calling is the beginning of the end for his time in Dallas

Mike McCarthy is saying that he's going to now take on play calling rules. So this is awesome. ... It's also just, it's the beginning of the end. And if it's because when you get this job, they're basically saying, now you have to fucking do this. Yes. And you're gonna, so it's, it is shuffling the, the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The Q-collar technology causes players to make bad on-field decisions

Dalton Schultz today was wearing a... Q-collar. It's supposed to help protect the brain from injury... I have a theory. This technology... it's supposed to constrict certain blood vessels going to your brain... I think these guys are just lightheaded. And it's just, he had a bird brain.

The Eagles will not win the championship this season

The Eagles can fuck right off. They're not gonna win the championship.

Zach Wilson is officially cleared and the Jets will beat the Steelers

My 'who's back' is Zach Wilson. He's officially back and cleared to play next week against Pittsburgh... a game we can win... Sola said after in the press conference. I broke the fucking news. If anyone else tries to say they broke the news on Sunday... Billy football had it 1:00 AM Monday morning. Facts.

Tom Brady will win Gisele back by winning another Super Bowl

I think you have to take the Bucs for the season because if we know anything about Tom Brady, he's like, I'm gonna win her back by winning another Super Bowl.

Tom Brady looks gaunt following his mystery absence

I'm going to be honest. I think [Tom Brady] looks gaunt like the definition of the word gaunt.

Jameis Winston and Michael Thomas are going to be a perfect quarterback-receiver duo

I actually think Jameis [Winston] is gonna love Michael Thomas. Yeah, because he is a big dude that kind of fits right in between linebackers that he can hit. It's Jameis' specialty.

Josh Rosen is putting up terrible stats on purpose as a bit

Josh Rosen... is on the Browns and in classic Josh Rosen fashion, he got in for, I think an entire half. He went seven for 20, for 88 yards. No TDs, no interceptions. I, he has to be doing this on purpose at this point. His stat lines are just so, so predictably exactly what they are every single time... It's a good bit. It really is.

Guardian caps are the pussification of America

I think it's the pussification of America. ... I think it just looks funny. I'm gonna start doing the big head pictures with those, it's gonna be fucking sick.

The betting over should hit in every All-Star game as a rule

Every all star game, the over should hit. That should be a rule. It should be like a free bet for everyone who watches the all star game. Everyone wants to see points. No one wants to see defense.

Football is back because the Patriots announced their red throwback jerseys

I saw the Patriots put out that they're gonna come and wear their red throwback jerseys this year. And that was the first time I was like, I think football's back.

Russell Wilson's 'first ever pass' video at AS Monaco's facility is absurdly corny

Russell Wilson threw the first ever football at AS Monaco's practice field. It was wild. He did a whole Instagram video and he's like, check this out guys. No one's ever thrown a football on this field. And then he threw it. He broke the seal on. It was fucking nuts.

Deshaun Watson will be suspended indefinitely for at least one year

Sean was suspended for, for a year, for a year, but also indefinitely. They're going to drop that one on, on Friday. Yup. Yup. Right before 4th of July.

Baker Mayfield will have no choice but to play for the Browns this season

I want to see baker have to play for the Browns this year. I don't think he will. I would be. I don't think he has a choice. I don't know. He's not gonna play football maybe. No. And he would come off looking very soft. If that happened. If he was like, I refuse to play football for you. Cause you were mean to me. No chance he'll play.

I am rooting for whatever XFL team Greg Williams is coaching

I don't know what the XFL is going to do... but frankly, I don't care because I think I'm just going to root for whatever team [Greg Williams] is coaching. If you think that he was dialing up the heat in the NFL, wait till he gets to the extreme football league.

The world will end before Dan Snyder sells the Commanders

The fucking world ends before Dan Snyder sells the team. I'm going to, I'm going to take myself out back here.

Drew Brees is going to return to the NFL

Drew Brees... he could be returning to football. He could go back to NBC... usually when someone ends up, they're coming back to play, they're probably going to come back.

It is not Ryan Tannehill's job to mentor Malik Willis

I've got a couple of things to say about this first thing, is it he's right. It's not his job to like teach another man how to take your job. I don't think there's a workplace in America where that's your expectation to train somebody to make you unemployed.

Dan Snyder's financial theft from other owners will be what finally forces him to sell the team

Dan Snyder... Apparently Snyder was lying about how much money he was getting into his gate. So he was actively stealing from the other owners... if you steal a million dollars from Jed York, they want to kill you. And so it looks like if anything's going to happen, this would be what could bring Dan Snyder down.

Dan Snyder is as close as he's ever been to being forced to sell the Washington Commanders

Florio just texted me a second ago and was like, we're as close as we've ever been to him getting to sell the team... If Snyder was lying about how much money he was getting into his gate, he was actively stealing from the other owners... if you steal a million dollars from Jed York, they want to kill you.

Khalil Mack being traded is fine because the Bears need to tear it all down

That was one of those situations where people wanted me to be mad, but I wasn't because I, the bears need to re they need to fix everything. They need to tear it all down. Build it back up. ... I wasn't mad because I don't know what the point of going like seven and 10 with Khalil Mack.

Amari Cooper is perpetually not as good as his hype

Amari Cooper is firmly in my mind, a guy who like just is perpetually, not as good as his hype. He's a guy who you will forever want to be a clear cut number one. And he will never be that. So you know what I'm saying? Like, you're always wanting Amari Cooper to be the guy. And I don't think he ever will be the guy. I mean, CD lamb's better than him.

Malik Willis threw the ball 73.72 yards at the NFL Combine

Doing some Pythagoras theorem on Malik Willis' absolute gigantic throw. So he threw it 60 yards down the field. But if you [calculate] the hypotenuse of how actually far you threw in a straight line, it got out to 73.72.

Desmond Ridder has 'fuckable spirals'

Desmond Ridder has nice spiral, Cincinnati guy. He gives me Justin Herbert type vibes... fuckable spirals for fuckable spirals. If you see a spiral, you're like, damn that spiral sexy.

Mike McDaniel is the perfect personality to save Tua Tagovailoa's career

Dolphins hired a new head coach, Mike McDaniel. Watch that clip of his, he seems very media friendly guy, big personality. He's going to save Tua [Tagovailoa].

The NFC is wide open for the next few years

Tom Brady just retired. Aaron Rodgers may go to the AFC who the fuck knows where he's going to end up. Like the NFC is going to be wide open for a little bit.

Derrick Henry is bad at short-yardage situations because his long legs prevent him from getting a head of steam

Derek Henry's long legs and not being able to read... He just didn't have the runway... in between the tackles. He got the ball, one step later, the guy off the edge comes in, grabs him by his shoe laces and takes him down.

Jerod Mayo's head coaching stock is damaged because the Patriots' defense gave up 47 points to the Bills

Jerod Mayo's fucked with his interviews now. Imagine being... he's got some interviews this week. That's going to be a tough one to walk into and be like, 'Hey, you just gave up 47 points'. It's not a good look for him.

Any head coach the Bears hire will fail because the organization is broken

I've come to a bad realization with it—with my wisdom in life—is that it's not the coach. It's the organization. Like whoever gets hired is going to fail because the organization will fail them... 90% chance will fail because the Bears are broken, terrible organization.

The Manning Cast curse is officially undefeated on the year

The Manning Cast curse, it is officially undefeated on the year. Aaron Rodgers went on week 17 and the Packers lost to the Lions. Week one Travis Kelce, Russell Wilson, they all lost the week after they appeared.

If the USFL doesn't let me kick in a game, they are a dead league

Officially on team 'Fuck the USFL.' Unless they do let me kick in a game. In which case I'll be the biggest USFL guy in the history of that.

San Diego State punter Matt Araiza should be a first-round pick

Someone should draft [Matt Araiza] in the first round. ... If he can punt like this all the time, it actually is an incredible game changer. ... You think that if the Patriots took him... that's the perfect end of first round draft pick.

The Manningcast curse is real

Everyone who's appeared on the Manning broadcast has lost [their next game]. Curses are back.

Josh Heupel will eventually be an awesome NFL head coach

Josh Heupel, he better not get to the NFL because I love taking pictures of that guy's face. His neck goes on forever. He's my new Frank Beamer... He's going to be awesome. He's going to be awesome [in the NFL].

Trent Dilfer was coaching hard, not committing physical assault in his viral high school video

I hate the argument you never put your hands on a player it's like grabbing a guy by shoulder, grabbing him by the elbow. Come on. Are we really going to get upset about that. Obviously, if it's like punching choking... this, there was no malicious intent in this.

Sam Ehlinger would have beaten out Trevor Lawrence for the starting job if not for his injury

Unfortunately, Sam Ehlinger is out with a tweaked ACL... The Sam Ehlinger beating out Trevor Lawrence prediction has not come yet for now.

The 'Kelsey' vs 'Kelce' pronunciation controversy is actually a secret ad deal or sponsorship stunt

I actually think that this is it's bullshit. Something to me, smells like there's an ad deal out there... I haven't figured out exactly what it is yet. But you have, you have two brothers that have been in the NFL. Are they going to open a bar? Maybe, maybe. Like Hell's Bells or something like that. So they've been in the league for, so both of them playing at a very high level... I smell either a Kimmel incident or I smell and some sort of sponsorship lingering under the surface.

The Browns will win exactly 11 games in the 2021 season

I'm thinking 11 wins, regular season, nothing crazy.

Mike Vrabel builds teams based solely on player girth and size

I think I've figured out what Mike Vrabel's strategy is here... He's just trying to get the biggest dudes that he can possibly get his hands on. I think that he has the biggest starting 11, just mass-wise. He is Billy Football as a coach. He just wants pounds. And Julio Jones is a massive dude.

Tim Tebow was signed by Urban Meyer purely to act as a heat shield for Trevor Lawrence

I'm also just a huge fan of the narrative that [Urban Meyer] brought in Tebow just to take off heat off Trevor Lawrence... Tebow is just going to be too much of a natural leader and take all the heat, including from the players, off Trevor Lawrence.

Urban Meyer is trying to recreate his Florida Gators teams by moving Travis Etienne to wide receiver.

Urban Meyer is just that report that Travis Etienne is taking reps as only a wide receiver... He's trying to create Percy Harvin. I understand what he's doing, I think... He just wants to recreate the Florida team.