Takes

The Leafs are perfectly set up to lose to the Lightning in Game 6

The Leafs are back, which means that's where they're perfectly set up to lose. And I mean, we might have to game of the year, the Lightning in game six.

NHL scoring is up because of power play strategies and better talent

The scoring staying up has a lot to do with the power plays and also just the games. Good right now. I think hockey's, I think the ratings are up... I think because of all the penalties called. So people's complaint right now is that it's not even, it doesn't even feel like hockey, some games... It's turned into just survive five on five, wait till you get a power play.

No Canadian NHL team will win the Stanley Cup this year

I don't think Canada is going to win the Stanley cup. You're a maple leafs hater. You're an Edmonton Oilers alum... I just think the Leafs have this vibe about them... I don't know if [the Oilers] can figure it out.

The Maple Leafs have a legitimate mental block when leading series

The maple leafs recently, while leading well down in the series, they're like seven or eight and three, well tied in the series. There are about 500 to eight and eight. And when leading these series, they're one to nine. So it's more of like, it might be a legit mental thing.

Cale Makar is the next Paul Coffey and the best defenseman in the world

Cale Makar is easily the next Paul Coffey. We hadn't seen a defenseman who's able to drive traffic like him. He's essentially stepped in as the Connor McDavid of the back end. He's probably going to score 30 goals as a defenseman. He is just a freak of nature.

John Tavares will be out for the remainder of the NHL playoffs

And also that John Tavares got hurt and is probably out. Do you think he's out for the playoffs? I would assume. I don't know.

The Buffalo Sabres are a 'broken organization' that needs to get worse to get better

It's just one of those organizations right now that seem a little bit cursed, and I would imagine that it's going to have to get a lot worse before it even gets better... They're a broken organization.

The Chicago Blackhawks have no chance of making the playoffs

I said, it's great to watch, but there's no chance they're making the playoffs. No chance. I just don't see it happening there's like the depth isn't there... maybe if Taze comes back but who knows.

The hockey ice in Toronto is significantly worse than the ice in Edmonton

Can someone explain to me going back to hockey the difference between the ice in Edmonton and the ice in Toronto because the Toronto ice sucks... Toronto ice is super choppy. It's like iced soup.

The Tampa Bay Lightning will win the Stanley Cup

I've said all year that I like Tampa just because of what they went through last year and then bouncing back... I just refuse to believe a team that good isn't going to win a Stanley Cup at some point in these few years.

Success in hockey comes down to 'playing heavy' and winning stick battles

The way I want to play the game, we need size and strength. Being physical... You can play heavy, it's just winning puck battles. That's what it boils down to. Using your body winning puck bottles, having heavy sticks. That's what I mean by heavy.

Zdeno Chara has a broken jaw

I'm going to speculate that it's something far greater than just his teeth. And I would assume it's a broken jaw. Because if it was just his teeth, he would have came back to that game in the third period.

Jordan Binnington is going to go into Boston and steal a game

I still think that Binnington has to steal one game this series where he stands on his head. And I said that yesterday's podcast that dropped this morning, that I have a feeling that he's going to go into Boston and steal a game.

Brad Marchand should not have been suspended for his 'rabbit punch' on Scott Harrington

I was going to puke if he got suspended. That is not a suspension. Stanley Cup playoffs, a little punch in the back of the head while the guy's on his knees... it was not suspension worthy.

The St. Louis Blues have a 100% chance to win the Stanley Cup

They're a really good team. And it'd be one of the coolest stories ever. Last place, January 3rd... I mean, they got a lot of good weapons there... So there's a chance 100% that they could get the Cup.

The Washington Capitals killed the Eastern Conference

Did the Washington Capitals kill the Eastern Conference? Not just the Penguins, who, by the way, they haven't won a game in the playoffs since the Caps beat them... Nor have the Tampa Bay Lightning.

The Columbus Blue Jackets are the winners of the trade deadline for going all-in

Columbus is a winner for me. They went out and made a bunch of good moves. ... They're trying to win one, and they never even won a playoff series. ... I think the fans kind of deserve it.

The New York Islanders are not 'for real' and cannot win the Stanley Cup

I'm going to say, like, no, right? [to are the Islanders for real] ... I understand, too, they think this is the beginning of what will be a successful year... But I don't think they can win the cup.

Half the internet will hate whatever name the Seattle hockey team chooses

Whatever they're going to name [the Seattle hockey team], prediction, whatever they're going to name it, half the people on the internet are going to be mad. Half the people are going to like it just like their jerseys.

The Capitals will win the Stanley Cup in five games

This series is fucking over. Done. Done. Over, finished, no chance. They're not even going to get a single more game. It's going to be 4-1. Caps in 5.

The Washington Capitals are a team of destiny

We're going to talk about how the Washington Capitals, our Washington Capitals, are a team of destiny? Yes. ... Cap's got this. They're just stronger. Stronger, faster?

This might actually be the Washington Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup

Today is Friday, May 25th, and might actually be the Caps year. Like, it's still shocking that they're in the Stanley Cup Finals. And I'm not saying this in a mean way because I, too, root for and have rooted for loser franchises, but, like, the Caps were a loser franchise. So to get over that mountain, it takes a lot.

Tom Wilson is a star and a complete badass

Tom Wilson, that dude's a star. I fucking love Tom Wilson. He's a badass. We make fun of him a lot because he tries to cut people's head off with his skates. And he like intentionally hits people in the head... but he's no longer on fraud watch.

The Capitals are a Team of Destiny because they beat the Lightning

Every single team that has defeated the Lightning in any round besides the first round went on to win the Stanley Cup. Team of Destiny. Doesn't get any more Team of Destiny than that. Now they're 2-0 in Stanley Cup this year. It's a dynasty.

I am not worried about the Washington Capitals despite the series being tied

Listen. We just wanted to say, as a team. It's our year. We're not worried. So the Capitals lost... But we didn't win. We didn't win, but we're the better team. Not worried.

I am NOT worried about the Capitals

We're not worried about the Caps, repeat we're not worried about the Caps... I'm actually not worried. I'm not worried. Nope. We got another one at home. Marlon's Man's going to game four.

Mark Scheifele is an NHL superstar now

I want to get respect out to Mark Scheifele. I don't if you've been watching the Western Conference. He's a, I'd say superstar now, Scheifele. He's incredible.

The 2018 Washington Capitals are playing better than any version of the team in history

I'm telling you, this Capitals team is playing better than any Washington Capitals team than I've ever seen with the exception of like every Washington Capitals team between the month of October and February.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are not that hard to beat in the playoffs

I have been at war with Tampa before, the 2015 Stanley Cup. It was light work, even though we were down a little bit, but it was light work. They're not that hard to beat.

Matt Murray sucks and his glove hand is a liability

Murray sucks. Murray sucks on ice. His glove hand stinks. And his glove leg sucks too. I think he had a stroke. I think the left side of his body has been paralyzed.

Tom Wilson's hit on Brian Dumoulin was clean

I think it was a pretty clean hit, too. So he was skating behind the guy, right? It was Dumo. So Dumo was a friend of the show. So Dumo was skating, and then Wilson was behind him, and then Dumo just hit the brakes and almost threw his head into Wilson's shoulder.

The Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I feel pretty good. I think this is our year. Yeah. I feel pretty good. Yeah, I feel like this is all going nicely for us.

I will eat one bite of horse shit if the Capitals beat the Penguins

I think you should have to eat shit if they beat the Penguins. Agreed. Just one bite. I'm not saying... Just one bite. Everyone knows the rules. ... Caps beat the Penguins. We're going to Central Park, and PFT's going to eat some shit. Just one bite.

The Capitals are the better team than the Penguins and will win the series

We're the better team on the ice tonight. We're the better team overall. You can count that. It's fine. It's 1-0 Caps. ... I don't give a shit if the Capitals lose the Stanley Cup... as long as we beat the Penguins. I'm going to cash that ticket.

The Vegas Golden Knights are the greatest expansion team in sports history

I mean, it's the best expansion team in the history of pro sports. I mean, that's saying something.

The Washington Capitals are better this year because they are actually worse than last year

The Washington Capitals, they are better this year because they're actually worse than they were last year, okay? ... The fact that the Capitals are not as good, they're not as deep... It means that they're winning ugly is what I'm getting at. ... we've tried being by far the best team talent-wise. That hasn't worked. So let's give it a shot being a little bit shittier than them.

This is officially the year the Capitals win the Stanley Cup

And then it's the Penguins. And then you're going to lose. Then this is the year. Yeah. This is the year, guys.

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey

2-0 is the most dangerous lead in hockey, and the Blue Jackets have a 2-0 lead. They stink. I'm okay with that.

The Capitals losing Game 1 is good because you can't win a Cup without adversity

This is how you find out what your team's made of. You can't win a Stanley Cup if you don't have to battle through some adversity. Good news is we got it out of the way right away.

The Washington Capitals winning the Metropolitan Division means it is their year to win the Cup

Other big news, Caps won the Metro. Yeah, it's our year.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I am officially, without any sarcasm whatsoever... I think it is the Caps year... This is the Caps year.

I bet $100 on the Washington Capitals to win the Stanley Cup

I had Hank get us a future. Me, Bubba, and Hank each put in $100. We got a future... The Washington Capitals outright winner... We'll win $4,800 if the Caps win.

Russia is the heavy favorite to win Olympic Gold with no NHL players involved

Unfortunately, it's Russia. They're going to win and then they're going to take the flag out and they won't play an anthem. But it's going to be pretty crazy to see because they're loaded. They got all these guys over there that never, I mean, some of them couldn't play in the NHL because there's a chance of them could. They're playing in the KHL.

I'm hammering the Vegas Golden Knights at home whenever their opponent has a night off in Vegas beforehand

Whenever a team has a day in Vegas, I just bet the Golden Knights, and they've been great. People get fucked up there. In Vegas? No. It's an 82-game season. You get there, you're just going to rip it up.

Winning back-to-back Stanley Cups is basically cheating

I didn't know you could win back-to-back Stanley Cups, so that's kind of cheating in my mind. I hate the Blackhawks. We never knew that those rules existed.

The Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions

I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.

The Capitals will win Game 6 and then lose the series in Game 7 in D.C.

The Caps are probably going to win on Monday night. Of course. And then they're going to lose on Wednesday night in D.C. In a brutal fashion.

Sidney Crosby is going to destroy the Capitals

And Sidney Crosby, make no mistake about it, is going to be heavily involved in the destruction of the Capitals.

The Capitals will win Game 5 and 6 because they don't let their fans die that easily

I have a theory, and I told you this theory today. I think the Caps are going to win game five and six because the Capitals have that knack. They're not going to let their fans die that easy.

2017 is officially the Penguins' year

It is officially the Penguins' year.