Takes

The Chainsmokers look more like podcasters than a successful EDM group

I say that the Chainsmokers, they look the most like a podcast of any massively successful EDM group. Two white guys. Yeah. Listen, I'm saying that as a podcaster.

E11even is a club with strippers, not a strip club

The national anthem at E11even last night... E11even is not a strip club, it is a club with strippers. So let's just get that clear. Because a lot of people were upset about it and I'm not gonna stand for it. Put some respect on E11even. It's a club with strippers.

Heat 2 will be a 'disgusting' (great) film starring Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio

My Cool Throne: Heat 2. Christian Bale. Leonardo DiCaprio. Disgusting film. Hell yes. I trust Jake Hamilton. He reported it. Christian Bale, Leo DiCaprio, Heat 2. I'm in. Awesome.

Logan Paul's $13 million Pokemon card sale is just a digital scam

I think a lot of it was digitally scamming. Not physical, not hard copy scams... it's like blockchain scam. So it's like deregulated scam.

Every great record was unpleasant to make and involved band members hating each other

I think that every good record that I can think of was made—was unpleasant to make, you know, they all sort of hate each other. Fleetwood Mac... the White Stripes... Jack [White] couldn't get Meg to do anything... it's all kind of this struggle.

The Sphere in Las Vegas prioritizes spectacle over meaningful human interaction in music

People say that they like the Sphere, but everybody says the same thing... there's a tiny little person in this great big thing. So it's spectacle over... that human interaction. Yeah. And I don't really see it.

John Cena will return to WWE within the 2026 calendar year

I would say within a calendar year [of now]. ... Next calendar year, [John Cena] will be back. If it was his final match, he would not have lost.

1992 to 1993 was the greatest run of movies ever

The 1992 to 1993, like the greatest run of movies ever. The Fugitive, Jurassic Park, all those. Best year of movies.

Dua Lipa and Callum Turner's 'same book on a plane' meet-cute story is fake

I just can't, I couldn't help myself but to bring up this story 'cause it's just so fake... He revealed that they were reading the same book the night they first met. We sat next to each other on a plane... it's too much. Fakest plane book story love story of all time.

Jam bands are AI-proof because a robot can never replicate the human element of a live performance

A robot can definitely lay down some... but a robot, an AI can never play a sick live show... [Mistakes are] real man. It's proof that you're human.

The Phillies fan who yelled at the man over a home run ball should be banned for life from Citizens Bank Park

I think she should be banned for rest of Citizens Bank Park... She should be banned from Citizens Bank Park... she almost fought somebody over a home run ball.

Nick Mullen is the funniest guy of all time

Nick [Mullen] was a genius. He was the funniest guy of all time. No, I mean, it was incredible. It was so funny.

MGK objectively has bangers and I'm officially coming out as a fan.

MGK Dropped an album on Friday. It's good... I really dislike how much I respect MGK as an artist... He objectively has bangers. Yeah, I agree. He's, he's got good songs... I'm out. I'm officially, I'm coming out. I'm an MGK fan.

We have officially reached a sad point in society where 69 and 420 aren't the only funny numbers anymore.

Back in our day when 69 was the only funny number, 69 and 420 was all you needed. Really sad. Really sad. Where we've gotten to.

Little Big League is a better movie than Rookie of the Year

Little Big League I think is a better movie than Rookie of the Year. Little Big League is legit a great movie. ... I like Little Big League better.

Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time

I'm just gonna get mad. I wanna just enjoy a movie and Happy Gilmore 1 is the funniest movie of all time.

Happy Gilmore 2 would be the worst movie ever if you hadn't seen the first one

Now if you haven't seen Happy Gilmore and you just watch Happy Gilmore 2, it's probably the worst movie of all time. If you've never seen the first one... they didn't try to make a brand new movie. They were just like, we're gonna make a funny, silly movie that is basically all head nods to the first one.

Bad Bunny was incredible and the funniest part of Happy Gilmore 2

I laughed out loud multiple times at Bad Bunny's parts [in Happy Gilmore 2]. He was really good. Very funny. Very funny.

Hulk Hogan was a significantly better professional wrestler than he was a person

Listen, we'll, we'll say it right now. Hulk Hogan. Significantly better professional wrestler than person.

Hulk Hogan is one of the top American exports of all time

Maybe Top American export. The world knew who Hulk Hogan was.

Twitch streamer Stable Ronaldo will go insane trying to beat Elden Ring in a padded room

He has locked himself in a padded room... Doesn't know what time it is until he completes Elden Ring... He's setting a pace for, for maybe insanity.

Coldplay staged the viral Kiss Cam moment for publicity

I feel like Coldplay might have set this whole thing up because we're talking about Coldplay online. Coldplay's getting talked about more than they've ever been talked about so much.

Jerry O'Connell is using his separate finances as an excuse to avoid paying for the PMT fantasy league

He's throwing us a song and dance about how he only could pay for a third of the leak. He's, he's saying a lot of things about how he has to explain things to his wife. No, I I it's more I'm disappointed. Yeah. Like he, he's taken us for a ride.

Con Air is a bad movie because the plot is ridiculous

Our first pick is going to be Conair. Mm. I feel like that's a good movie. It's a really, but you think about the plot of the movie. It's bad.

The next season of Always Sunny in Philadelphia will be the funniest one in a decade

I think that this season that's coming out today or tomorrow is the funniest season, maybe the funniest season we've ever done. That's a pretty high bar, but definitely the funniest of the last like, decade.

Michelangelo is the best Ninja Turtle because he is the only true 'party dude' and stays chill

Michelangelo Ninja Turtle party dude. Party dude. He literally just eats pizza and parties. And I think extremely true. I think as much as Raphael wants to fuck April O'Neal, I think, I think Michelangelo is what? April? O'Neal. Lusts after... He's a part, literally is a party dude. He's always trying to keep everyone chill.

The Gallagher brothers should break up during the Oasis reunion tour to stay true to their brand

I would be disappointed if they didn't break up during the tour. That means that they've changed. And I want the same Oasis. If you're buying tickets for this, part of the rush is spending all that money... not knowing if that concert's ever gonna go.

Winning a Dungeons and Dragons game with artificial heals from a teammate is an asterisk win

I actually don't want to beat the dragon if we're getting artificially healed from you. Right? It's like that's asterisk peds.

A Dungeons and Dragons victory won with artificial heals is not a 'bubble game'

It can't be a bubble game. ... We gotta kill this dragon. So we'll go Norm.

E11EVEN in Miami is the #1 place in the world to celebrate a sports championship

Crowd surfing with the Stanley Cup at 11. If you've been to 11, it is quite something. That might be the number one place to celebrate a championship. It's, I don't even understand how 11 exists. It's a club that's also a strip club, but not a strip club.

Morgan Wallen is fully back after his recent controversies

Morgan Wallen... he had some controversies, you know, throwing a chair over their ledge... I just feel like he was a fantastic star. I think he's so back.

Aaron Rodgers has moved on from Ayahuasca because it is too mainstream now

I think Aaron's probably moved on from Ayahuasca. I think he wanted to blow it up and, and he, you know, he took his ayahuasca trip... but now so many people are doing it that Aaron's like, this isn't cool anymore.

Anne Hathaway has a fixation for scouting gritty athletes like OG Anunoby and Danny Woodhead

Anne Hathaway is back. And if you look at the stats. A guy Riggs posted about this OG Anunoby ran into Anne Hathaway Courtside. He was jumping outta bounds to save a ball. Since that moment he's been, he's had 24.3 points per game. Now Anne Hathaway is leaning into it. So she's like posting pictures of OG Anunoby on her Instagram. The one other obscure ish athlete that she's developed a fixation for over her career was Danny Woodhead. She's a massive Danny Woodhead fan.

Modern music fans have a high 'bullshit meter' and can easily perceive when an artist is being inauthentic.

I think authenticity right now is so permeable and perceptible. If something's bullshit, it screams bullshit. Especially on the feed, you're like, oh man, that's a real dude that, oh man, here's horses shit. You know, like, it bleeds in your hands.

The 'Banana Boat' crew would have kicked Gabrielle Union off the boat to fit Carmelo Anthony

I'm kicking my wife off the banana boat... I don't think we would get a, I don't think it would've been a banana boat [with all four]. But if I have to kick somebody? I'm kicking my wife off.

The reports of Bill Belichick's engagement to Jordon Hudson are fake news

I will wait until you know, Ms. Hudson and, and Mr. Belichick report this themselves. I do not believe, you know, the New York Times, fake news media. This is just a report as far as I'm concerned. ... I don't think Bill knows.

The Rock is the best movie ever made

The Rock is Back. And if you haven't seen The Rock it may, it might be the best movie ever made... It is the perfect movie. It's got everything. Sean Connery, Nick Cage, prisons, terrorists.

AI can make a song for Spotify, but it can never replicate the live performance experience

It could never replicate the live experience though. So maybe AI can make a Spotify song... but you can't, you can't beat a live show. And that's the one thing I think some DJs lack is that they just, you know, I think adding in all these extra elements will make it dope.

Live human performances will never be replicated or beaten by AI

It could never replicate the live experience though. So maybe AI can make a Spotify song... but you can't, you can't beat a live show. And that's the one thing I think some DJs lack is that they just, you know, I think adding in all these extra elements will make it dope.

Warren Zevon is arguably the greatest songwriter of all time

Warren Zevon might be my favorite songwriter of all time. And he's, he's deserved being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for a while. It's insane he wasn't.

White Lotus Season 3 is the worst season of the series

I'd put it clearly number three. I think clearly number three, I think season, I'm gonna go season two. Yeah. Then season one. Barely. And then clearly season three.

The Ratliff fake-out suicide arc in White Lotus Season 3 was annoying and repetitive

The Ratliff story was, was one of my biggest issues... that was like the sixth time we had a dream sequence slash something happened where they tried to fake us out that he was committing suicide or killing his family. Enough of it.

The twist of Walton Goggins killing his father in the White Lotus finale was 'cheap'

Walton Goggins in like the last 10 minutes kills the guy. And then the other woman's like, 'why would you do that? He's your father.' It's like, come on... That felt a little ham-fisted. It was just a little cheap.

The latest Blink-182 reunion is for life

This is the third iteration of Blink-182. And people still wanna buy albums and listen to our music... we can't fuck this up again. The third time is just, we will be a joke at that point. Like, if we're getting back together as the three of us, it has to be forever. And that's it.

People will discover in my book that I am smarter and darker than they think I am

I think that people are going to discover that I'm smarter than people think that I am. And that also I'm a lot darker than people think that I am. I'm very honest in the book about my struggles and about my shortcomings and the difficulties that I've had... This dude really is goth in his soul.

I will defeat John Cena at Wrestlemania 41

You have to win in those moments. Otherwise the master was always the master... The only way you can do that is beat John Cena. Which is why I can't have that pizza.

April Fools' Day is the lowest form of comedy.

I'm done with this show. I'm done with this episode. I'm opting out for the rest of this episode. Because April Fools is the lowest form of comedy.

Being the partner of a massive celebrity like Sydney Sweeney is a 'down bad' situation in the short term but ultimately better for your long-term sanity.

So down bad right now. But yeah, I think long term would have, you'd have to be a very confident man to be able to deal with your fiance or wife having the entire internet be horny for her at all times. So... I think long term he's probably gonna be like, you know what? That was, that was gonna be tough.

The character we saw at the end of the Severance finale was actually Outie Helly

I feel like the real theory is that it's Outie Helly at the end of the episode. Because she brings him in back and smiled at Gemma. And Irv said Innie Helly was never cruel. And it was kind of a cruel looking smile when she looked at Gemma and was like, 'I won.'

Helly is going to kill her father in the Severance Season 2 finale

I want death. I want multiple deaths. Oh, I think Helly's gonna kill her dad. No, I mean, she's showed... she tried to kill herself. They think that she's her daughter who's like the whatever of the company, but they don't know Hellie down there.