Takes

Duke would have won the National Championship by 50 points if they had reached the final.

I think if Duke plays in the championship game, they win by 50. Easily. That was a wasted opportunity.

College basketball is now 'pay to win' and that's unsustainable

It's a pay to win tournament. Like basketball is ruined. Unsustainable. Yeah, that's the new word that I keep hearing.

Diana Russini likely leaked the Sedona hotel photos herself to publicly announce her hatred for the New York Jets.

I also kind of think she leaked this article. Like who gives a fuck about Mike Vrabel going out in the middle of the desert? Who leaks that? And then what better way to announce your hate for the Jets than being like, I'm hanging out with Mike Vrabel pants on a rooftop.

Geno Auriemma is the biggest baby ever for his reaction to the 2026 Final Four loss

I don't think there's ever been a bigger baby ever than Geno. Everything he tried to say in the press conference was just immediately refuted to be false — Dawn Staley didn't shake my hand at the beginning of the game. Yes, she did. Sarah Strong got her jersey ripped. No, she ripped it herself.

The NBA regular season is currently the worst product in sports

Can I say about the NBA... I think that the NBA has never been worse in terms of regular season. It's an absolute joke. Friday, every single team was playing like a tanking team was playing a playoff team and none of the games were close. The regular season NBA is like the worst product. It just sucks.

Dawn Staley's post-loss quote — 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being' — is the biggest loser quote ever heard

That is maybe the biggest loser quote that I've ever heard. And she's a great coach. 'I can swallow the loss because we lost to a really good human being and a good team.' She's still thinking about Geno.

Danny Hurley will be the best bald coach in sports history if he wins a third championship

I think that would make Danny Hurley the best bald coach in sports history. The only other option could be Red Auerbach, but he wasn't bald for his entire career. I think right now he's already on the Mount Rushmore of bald head coaches. But if he wins a third, that puts you in rarefied air.

Illinois is being massively disrespected — the UConn-Illinois game is just as much a de facto national championship game as Arizona-Michigan

I wanna push back on something that's the narrative that's going around right now that the national championship is the late game on Saturday night. I think that's so disrespectful to UConn and Illinois — two teams that absolutely can win this whole thing.

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat after another tournament failure

Jon Scheyer might be on the hot seat. I don't know how you don't call a timeout. It's the time. I don't know how you don't like, that's like day, literally day one of camp is like, all right, let's run some, some out of bounds end of game situations.

Stealing the ball in basketball is unethical and against the gentleman's code

I actually, I don't know if you know this, but I called you before the tournament the most ethical hoops team in the entire tournament because you guys don't steal the ball a ton and you also don't foul a ton, so you just play straight up. That's ethical. A lot of teams are trying to steal — stealing the ball is actually against the gentleman's code of the game of basketball. Dr. James Naismith would not appreciate that. You guys do it in an ethical way. You just play good hoops.

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday because he has enough people sucking his dick

I'm glad I missed Peyton Manning's birthday by the way. Fuck, fuck that guy. He's got enough people to suck his dick and wish him a happy birthday. Awful announcing quote that. I hope I do it again next year.

Nate Oats needs to teach his players to never let the police look through their phones

Let the Aden Holloway situation be a reminder to everybody that you don't have to let the police look through your phone. I actually point the finger at Nate Oats for this, because Nate Oats, you gotta do a better job of explaining the first through fifth amendments to your players. Given the history that you've had... day one you should have a, get the guys from Morgan & Morgan to come in and be like, 'Do not talk to the police if you're in trouble. Shut the fuck up.'

Fouling when up by two points late in a game is a terrible strategy

Todd Golden said in the press conference they were trying to foul up two... That's insane. Foul up two's crazy. You know how crazy he is? Steven Che thinks it's a good idea. Fouling up two does not make any sense... Play defense! How about that? The, that my groundbreaking end of game scenario that I would coach in that situation would be: play defense.

NFL players should not be confident in their union representation with JC Tretter as NFLPA head

He's a moron. So it looks like Roger Goodell now has his doofus set up as they go into the next CBA. If I was an NFL player, I would not be too confident about my representation right now.

I Show Speed is more famous than Tom Brady

Our conversation back here was Brady or Speed. I would probably go Speed. Brady's a big name though, he got a lot of rings, but I'd go Speed. I might take it back and go top one [most famous person at the field].

Darius Acuff is my favorite player in the tournament and I'd take him #1 overall in the NBA Draft

My favorite player in the entire tournament is Darius Acuff and the Arkansas and the way he plays. I would be a bad NBA GM if they let me be an NBA GM. Take him one-one because I fucking love him. He is a fucking killer.

Timothée Chalamet can't win the big one after losing another Oscar

Timothy Chalamet. Yeah. Did not win... he's now in that like, can he win the big one? It's, it's I think it's his third time. Nothing. Can't win the big one. Nothing to show.

Ludvig Åberg is a choker who can't win on Sundays under pressure

Ludvig Åberg. Can't win the big one. Yeah. Big time. Can't win the big one. Another choke. Choke to the masters... He stinks on Sundays. I don't know what it is about him... just when he gets under pressure he just melts down.

I am rooting for the Dominican Republic over Team USA in the WBC because they are more electric

The Dominican team is electric and I like to be entertained when I'm watching sports. This tournament's for entertainment. I want to watch more games with the Dominican Republic team. I want more. I'm rooting for the USA correctly, but I respect the hell out of the Dominican team.

I need to get into a car accident that totals my car so I have an excuse to buy a new one

I need to get in an accident that totals this car so that I have no choice but to get a new car. I want to get a sick car. That way I don't even have a choice.

The Cowboys 'monitoring' every situation is just a facade for doing nothing

Thoughts and prayers to the Dallas Cowboys who are now leading the NFL in number of guys that they're monitoring... they've been monitoring every situation. So they were monitoring the Crosby situation extremely closely. And they're very disappointed that they did not get Maxx Crosby, despite the fact that they're monitoring.

A joint bachelor/bachelorette party is a 'pre-crime' indicating a lack of trust

If you do a joint bachelor bachelorette party, you just, that's pre-crime. That's the most insane thing possible. It's, it's, it's not, it's bad, bad behavior. It's, it's, that means you just don't trust each other.

Winning a Thunder NBA championship and appearing on the Pardon My Take book cover are more significant than winning the NBA Cup or the 2020 Bubble title

I think it goes: Thunder championship, book cover, NBA Cup second place, NBA Cup third place, and then the bubble championship. [74 in Tahoe] is up above the cup games. People gotta talk about it more.

The half marathon is a joke of a race that isn't a 'real' accomplishment

Half marathon's gotta be the lamest thing to break. Call it a 10,000, what is it? 10,000 meters. Half marathon is bullshit. Make it a full marathon or make it a 10K. It's just a joke. It is a joke of a race. In principle it is a joke.

Malik Willis is the #1 free agent backup quarterback

Top quarterback free agents... Is it also Malik Willis? Malik Willis is, yes. So he's number one. Malik Willis one.

Team USA would have lost the gold medal game if they listened to Aaron Judge's speech

That was one of the worst speeches of all time. If they're, why don't put that out. If you're world ba baseball classic, don't put that out. I think they're trying to get a little bit of the buzz from the Olympics team. USA would've lost the gold medal game if, if if someone stood up and gave Aaron Judge's speech.

Pardon My Take has likely had a negative sociological effect on the intelligence of sports fans over the last 10 years

Our final boss should be some detailed researched article that is like the effective, Pardon My Take on sports fans. Like a negative thing. ... they can trace it back to all these kids that were listening when they were 12 and now they're fucking idiots as grown adults and they're going to games.

The US should lobby to cancel Olympic hockey so we can remain the permanent gold medalists

Let's try to, if we win again, let's just try to get hockey canceled in the Olympics. So it just stays ours from now on. Like honestly, it's not good for the health and safety of the NHL players. It should go back to just being amateurs.

Jacob Bridgeman's wife is wrong; he is a better golfer than he is a person

Jacob Bridgeman... there was a clip on PGA tour posted from his wife that said he is a better person than he is a golfer. Not true. Not true, dude. You just won a PGA Tour tournament... You're a top 50 golfer alive right now. You're not top 50 human beings. Sorry buddy.

Mayweather and Pacquiao fighting at the Sphere is the coolest possible sporting event

Mayweather and Pacquiao were fighting again. Mayweather's 49, Pacquiao is 47. Why? This sucks. [PFT says it's at the Sphere]. Sphere? Oh fuck. I'm in. I'm so in. I'm so fucking in. That's awesome. The first sporting event. Sick.

Liking chick flicks from the 2000s is inherently wrong for men

Liking chick flicks is wrong. They're gay. Yeah.

Big game hunting and winter survival should be added as Winter Olympic sports

I do agree with big game hunting [as an Olympic sport], that would rock dudes. It's like you go out in the wilderness and then you just have to weigh like, how much bear did you come back with? The Olympic sport of just watching dudes in the middle of the woods who can start a fire faster. I'd watch that.

Hockey is only America's fourth most important sport and we still beat Canada

I choose to win with class. Does it hurt for Canada that I graciously said hockey is our fourth like the fourth sport we're best at? We're football, baseball, basketball... and then hockey. I love hockey, but it's our fourth most important sport. And Canada, Canada's everything. And we fucking beat you. And we have the gold.

Ski Mountaineering should be a 'death sport' where the last person moving wins

My idea to actually make this a better sport, just like last person going... there's no finish line, there's no time. It's just the last person who's still moving. It's like a death sport. ... It's just like the epitome of endurance. Just have the last person moving wins the gold medal.

Society was better when people who performed mentalist tricks were treated like witches

We used to be a proper society. We used to drown those people, like witches burn them. Yeah. Like it's getting a little to the point where it's like, should we throw, should we throw some rocks at him at the town square?

I am done with all international NFL games because the Bad Bunny halftime show was so bad

The halftime performance was bad. I don't obviously really care about the halftime performance... I hope they never do international games [again]. That was the thing that turned [me].

Bill Belichick not being a first-ballot Hall of Famer is an embarrassment

Bill Belichick not making into the Hall of Fame first ballot... It's an embarrassment. This is based on your career and your accolades and what you've done. This isn't a personality contest.

The New England Patriots are the worst-looking team to ever make the Super Bowl

Is this the worst a team has ever looked on their way to the Super Bowl? [PFT]: The question people are gonna be asking on other shows, not ours. Is this the worst thing to ever make the Super Bowl?

Mark Davis would 100% hire Chris Angel as head coach if the NFL implemented a 'Loony Rule' for interviews

Chris Angel... for the Raiders head coaching job. [A] Loony rule. Chris Angel doing mind freak shit in front of Mark Davis. He, Mark Davis would hire him. He'd hire him. He would a hundred percent hire him.

It's my duty to 'shake it off' on the floors of airplane bathrooms to punish people who walk in with just socks

I watch people get up in their socks and walk into the bathroom... I feel it's my duty to just shake it, shake it up, even it out. Just get the little, few little drops here and there just to let you know that if you wear your socks in there, you're coming home with urine on them.

Curt Cignetti is the best person to be hired for any job in human history

I think Kurt Cignetti is the best person to be hired for any job ever. The only one that you could maybe make an argument right now would be the athletic director at Indiana [Scott Dolson] who hired him.

Nick Saban intentionally held back Curt Cignetti to protect his own coaching legacy

Did Nick Saban specifically not promote Curt Cignetti? Because he is like, 'Hey, if this guy gets a head coaching job, he's going to be known as the greatest head coach of all time. Not me.'... Nick Saban's been trying to keep the world from [Cignetti] for all these years.

Winning a national championship at Indiana is worth four titles at Alabama

Winning a national championship in Indiana is like probably worth four at Alabama. Yeah. So if [Curt Cignetti] wins one more, he already has passed Nick Saban.

Caleb Williams is significantly better than CJ Stroud

I don't think there's even, I don't think there's a debate who you'd take Caleb or CJ Stroud. It's not even close to a debate. No. And that's, Caleb wouldn't, it's crazy to be in this spot... CJ Stroud after his first year, he's completely regressed.

The new Commanders stadium rendering is worth three wins a year alone.

This stadium, just looking at it, max, I think that this stadium is worth three wins a year. Yeah. The stadium alone.

The football gods cursed Mike McDaniel for not breaking the NFL single-game scoring record

Mike McDaniel chose not to go for the NFL record at the end of the game [against the Broncos in 2023]. Did not kick a field goal. I believe the football gods cursed him after that moment. The Dolphins went 23 and 25 after that.

I would have been a top 10 draft pick if my last name was easier to pronounce

Maybe a few years younger, maybe a couple letters off the last name. It might be, might be a little bit richer. So I don't, I don't know... once you learn it, it's kinda hard to forget it.

If someone spits in your face, it should be legal to hit them with your car

I'll just say this, if someone spits in your face like that, you should be able to hit him with your car. I think. There's no overreaction to being spit on. [Spitting is] massive.

Tyler Shough would have been the first overall pick in the NFL Draft if people were able to pronounce his name correctly

I have maintained this. I've said this before on this show. If Tyler Shough had a name that everyone knew how to pronounce, he would've been one one. There will be documentaries on how did we miss this guy in the draft? And they'll be like, well, his name is kind of spelled weird.

It is hypocritical for LeBron James to complain about playing on Christmas after doing it for 20 years

LeBron's been playing on Christmas for 20 years. Like, what are you talking about? Now, you're upset? I should [mention] though... Christmas Day [games] are ruined now because they don't play defense in the league.