Takes

Michigan wins and covers against TCU in the College Football Playoff

I'm a hundred percent outta Michigan. I think Michigan wins this game. I think they cover and then we'll see what happens.

Having a child is a completely transformative experience that non-parents cannot understand

That's one of those ones that like, if you don't have kids, and I'm not shaming anyone, but like when you do have a kid, you're like, oh fuck, this is completely different than anything else.

A best man speech should be three to five minutes long

I think you have to keep it like five minutes or less. I think anyone who goes longer than that is... it's three to five minutes.

No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills

I just cranked it out on primetime. No one circles the wagons like the Buffalo Bills. And it became a war chant.

I finished my career with exactly as many touchdowns as interceptions

I threw 161 TDs in the NFL and I also threw 161 interceptions. I came out even man.

Steve Wilkes has earned the right to be the Panthers' head coach next year

I think at this point, if you don't bring him back, I think the players that are here right now that are coming back next year are gonna be pissed off. I think they're going to be really upset about that.

If Lane Johnson is back, the Eagles will be 100% fine

I came out of that game feeling better than I did going into it... If Lane Johnson is back by the second round of the playoffs, I'm as confident as I could be.

Jalen Hurts' shoulder injury will only sideline him for one to three weeks

It's a sprained shoulder. People sprain their shoulders all the time. What's the one to three weeks? One to three weeks. It's one to three weeks. Take the three weeks, give you the fourth. Take the bye from the first week of the playoffs.

The Detroit Lions' offensive line is one of the best in the NFL and doesn't get enough credit

The Lions group, I mean Yeah. You know, people keep talking about, you know, Jared Goff's playing his best and the weapons they have offensively... but you also just played a Jets defense that's been getting after people and they didn't touch Jared. I mean, no Sacks, you know, barely hit him at all. That group doesn't get talked about enough, in my opinion, just because of the team's record.

The Detroit Lions are officially a good football team

Lions 20, Jets 17. The Lions are good. The Lions are good. They're winning games all types of ways. They've covered six straight games for the first time since the Super Bowl was invented. They are a fun team.

The Chargers will finish the season 11-6

Uhoh, the Chargers are back. Chargers go 11-6. They're gonna go 11 and 6. Nine, 10, 11. They're gonna go 11 and 6.

Brock Purdy walked into the best situation a low-drafted quarterback could ever have

I don't think there's a better situation that a Mr irrelevant low drafted quarterback could ever walk into than not only Kyle Shanahan, but this specific 49ers team that just has so much talent everywhere. Like their defense is great. Their running game is great. He's not really getting hit that much.

The Seahawks are running out of gas because they lack top-end talent

It feels like they're just running outta gas in terms of talent. Their defense getting gashed on the, like last week the Panthers had 240 yards tonight. The Niners ran for five yards of carry. It just, it feels like it's getting to the end here where, where like the fact they don't have a ton of top end talent is hurting them.

The Eagles will whomp the Bears

My favorite favorite is the Philadelphia Eagles. Ooh. Against the Bears. Yeah. This gonna be a whomping. I think it's gonna be a Whomping. Their minus nine. But you know, they've proven themselves... The bears are, are and rightfully show as they should be. Like they're tanking. Like they don't wanna win. They don't want to fight.

The Patriots are officially the best bad team in the NFL

I can officially say the Patriots are the best bad team in the NFL. They made that pretty clear over the last few weeks. They're a very good, bad team. Their offense still sucks ass.

The 'Football Guy of the Year' award should be renamed the 'Mike Leach Football Guy of the Year' award

I think we should actually rename the Football Guy of the Year award for [Mike Leach] because they, that's, that's hot in the streets right now. The NBA just renamed all their awards. Yeah. So Motion to rename Football Guy of the Year Award to the Mike Leach Football Guy of the Year award.

Jared Goff is playing with elite pocket presence and confidence

From a big guy's perspective looking at it over like the past six weeks, his pocket presence and his confidence in the pocket to just sit in there and trust the protection has been like really, really good. And if we know where he is at, we can block for him. We're a talented enough group and then he's just making those plays man.

My hand size is between 10.25 and 10.5 inches

I, I do, I do know I have big hands. I think it's anywhere between 10 and a quarter and 10 and a half... [PFT measures]: 10 and a half. They're huge. Whoa. They're huge.

Jalen Hurts is the frontrunner for NFL MVP

Jalen Hurts is probably gonna win the mvp. But he, and it's a credit to him because he basically just says, I'm giving my guys a chance because I know they'll make plays for me. ... It feels like Jalen Hurts is the front runner for the mvp.

Tom Brady has more Super Bowls than all other current playoff quarterbacks combined

Fact of fiction. He's got more Super Bowls than all the other quarterbacks named mine. ... I think making the playoffs is a pretty good indicator of being good.

The 'Baby Bump' is a real thing that improves player performance in sports

We always talk about the baby bump. When a player, any sport has a baby, they start to perform well for a little period of time after. Is that real? I looked it up. Your child was born August 2nd. You hit three 90 the five games afterwards. Your average this year was 2 59.

Tom Brady will never die

Tom Brady will never die. ... Even when he got the ball back again down seven or down six, you knew he was gonna win the game.

Arbor Jacki is a fan favorite who will stick in Montreal

Arbor Jacki [Xhekaj] and then they call the boys call him wifi... he's come in as a young, this kid was working at Costco last year... defenseman, toughest shit... fan favorite in Montreal who's exceeded expectations.

Jacob Chychrun will be the biggest name defenseman moved at the deadline

For trade for defenseman right now the biggest name is Jacob Chychrun and he plays for the coyotes. ... I would say that he's gonna be a big name defenseman that moves at the close to the deadline.

I work 70 hours a week during the fall

I would say 70 hours a week. That doesn't really count like sitting at home watching games 70 hours a week in the fall. But then it becomes a lot less... I love football, but the idea that we could come in at 7 o'clock on a Sunday and be done in two hours [is nice].

Bill O'Brien would be a great fit as the Patriots offensive coordinator

They're probably gonna get Bill O'Brien cuz he wants to come back to the nfl. He wants to leave Alabama. So I actually think that'd be, that'd be a great fit. Bring him back to New England. Yeah, bill O'Brien is a very good offensive coordinator.

The Chiefs will have a 'double revenge' game and beat the Bengals

The Kansas City Chiefs double revenge minus two double revenge spot. Double revenge means something. The chiefs are going for double revenge. Last year they lost in the regular season and AFC championship game. I think this is the best the chiefs are going to look all season. Is this weekend on Sunday?

Don't ever bet parlays or exotics; stick to single bets

I read a book in the nineties called The Right Horse. It basically said exotics. parlays for example. You should never bet them cuz they're so enticing. And it's humans. We wanna bet a parlay even like a two game, partly... basically the book, I mean, I'll sum it all up for you, says don't do it. Bet one bet.

The Colts will cover +11 against the Cowboys in Week 13

The Colts are gonna cover over Dallas. I don't know, I just think, you know, my book was giving 11 points last I checked and I just think the Cols are gonna cover.

I will take Liver King back if he admits he used steroids and was just trying to recover from injury

If he just says like, yeah, guys, I'm 50 years old... I needed this stuff to like, you know, come back. Like if he basically does the, I was injured and I wanted to get back with the team real fast. Like, if he does that, I'll take him back. I'll be like, what? Fuck it, dude. Like at least you're honest now.

I prefer to go for two when down by 14 and scoring a touchdown

This is one I've come around on. I think you go for two just because you then know exactly the circumstances that you're kind of going into games with... now you get two opportunities to get those two points. And if you're able to get 'em on the first time, now you obviously know that your six points down with the ability to score and win on that next extra point.

I've not had a blister on my hands since junior year of high school baseball

Maybe baseball. I used to swing a baseball bat. Maybe I got a blister playing baseball in high school. So junior year of high school.

Wisconsin hiring Luke Fickle is a great hire

Wisconsin Badgers. Luke Fickle out of nowhere. Loved the hire. Excited because Wisconsin could not have been more like bottomed out this year. Wisconsin's back. I'm very, very excited.

Brazil is the favorite to win the World Cup

This is Brazil's World Cup to lose boys. Yeah, it's Brazil's to lose. Yep... I just think they're more balanced than they ever have... they have more talent than anyone. There's more professional players in the world than from Brazil. They, they, they just manufacture players. It's their pastime.

Tom Brady will come back from the bye and lead the Bucs to a hot streak

My favorite, favorite... I do feel like Tom Brady's bye and he's gonna come back and he's, they're gonna rattle off some wins and everyone's gonna be like, watch out for Tom Brady... I think it starts with the Browns minus three and a half.

The Commanders will beat the Texans by more than 3.5 points

Commanders minus three and a half. Personal. Thank you. Revenge game.

The Patriots will beat the Jets at home

My favorite favorite, I'm gonna take the Patriots minus three and a half... Home against the Jets. 34 out of the last 40 games have been won by the Patriots against these Jets.

The Bills will beat the Browns by more than 7.5 points

Bills by seven and a half... I think that him [Josh Allen] in a dome, he's gonna be more comfortable... the Bills need a confidence game. And confidence games usually end up in beating up on the other team.

The Eagles and Colts will go over 45 total points

I am going to take that over 45. I'm doing it because the Eagles cannot stop the run right now without Jordan Davis. I also am doing it because I do think the Eagles offense is gonna have a bounce back.

Losing the undefeated streak was the perfect outcome for the Eagles' season

I actually think that was the perfect way for the Eagles to get their first loss. Because you don't want to lose, but... they had a game that they basically had everything go wrong for them and still almost had a chance to win it at the end. Now you can just focus on cleaning up the things, the mistakes you made.

A backup quarterback taking over is only awkward if the players make it awkward

I told him like two weeks ago, the only way this situation's gonna be awkward as if we make it awkward. So, you know, it's, it's both of us wanna play. Only one of us is gonna get to play.

The Buccaneers will win 10 games and host a home playoff game

The Bucks now have everything in front of them where if they don't totally fuck up, we're gonna be sitting here. They're gonna have a home playoff game in January. [Based on their schedule] They're a 10 win team.

The Giants will win 10 or 11 games and make the playoffs

The Giants are seven and two. I looked at their schedule. I think they're gonna win 10 games, maybe even 11. Like when you're seven and two, you're this we're we're almost at Thanksgiving. It would take a lot of fuck ups to not make the playoffs at this point.

The Buccaneers will cover against the Seahawks in Germany because of the defense

I'm going with the Bucks. ... The Bucks. It's not never a bet on Tom Brady. The relapsing, It's a bet on their defense. I still think their defense is very good. I think their defense give the Seahawks a lot of problems.

Alex Ovechkin will definitely break the NHL goal-scoring record

Is Ovie gonna get the record, just yes or no? Yes. Definitely yes.

Dan Campbell says 'man' at least a hundred times a day

How many times does Dan Campbell say the word man? Man, I just said at least when we're in the building players at least a hundred. At least I know, I'm sure he does it a lot in his interviews, but man, man, man. No, he does it a lot. Probably at least a, at least a hundred.

Pete Carroll should be in the Coach of the Year conversation

Pete Carroll should be absolutely in consideration for Coach of the Year because they traded away their franchise quarterback. Everyone picked him to be one of the worst teams in the NFL. They're now six and three... and he's made this team very, very good.

Joe Burrow is a lock to cover after losing to the Browns

Joe Burrow is four and oh against the spread after losing to the Browns. Cause he always loses the Browns. So he bounces back. So go go with Joe Burrow there. Trust in Joe.

No NFL quarterback has a closer connection to their city right now than Josh Allen has with Buffalo

I don't think there is a closer connection quarterback to city right now than Josh what Josh Allen has going on in Buffalo. ... I don't think there's anyone right now [above him].

95% of NFL games are lost, not won

There was a great quote by Ian Eagle during the game. ... Ian Eagle said 95% of games in the NFL are lost and not won. ... I still don't know what the fuck he was talking about, but it makes sense.