Takes

The Chiefs' Mahomes and Andy Reid dynasty is finished

I just think the dynasty's over. I think Andy Reid and Mahomes dynasty's finished... usually when they pan the camera to Andy Reid, he's got a certain amount of girth... but this time it almost looks a little hollow. It looks a little empty.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

Today is September 12th and the Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. I listen credit to us. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

Caleb Williams needs to take more shots and throw more interceptions

I wouldn't mind if Caleb had a couple more interceptions. We're getting to a point now where he doesn't throw interceptions and it feels like I'd like him to take some more shots. Just take a couple shots. Take like that hesitancy he talked about himself. Let it rip.

Disney adults without kids should be sent to jail

I just think there should be two lines at Disney. One for people with kids and one for people without. And the people with kids get to go in the park and the people without get to go to jail, you have to go to jail. There should be a line right into a jail cell.

USF is currently the best team in the country

College football. USF is the best team in the country. Resume. Debate me. USF... Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents? I believe so. So they beat Boise State and then they beat Florida. I think they're, I think you can make the case. They should be ranked higher. Top 10.

The Browns should sign Justin Tucker

Given who's already on the Browns roster, should the Browns take a look at Justin Tucker... if there's anywhere that Justin Tucker can go right now and people aren't gonna be like, whoa, what are you doing here?

The Dolphins could be the worst team in the NFL this year

The Dolphins have maybe the chance of being the worst team in the NFL and they're definitely the worst vibes in the NFL because holy shit did they get absolutely smashed by the Colts.

If the Commanders beat the Packers, I am expecting a Super Bowl

If we beat the Packers, anything less than a Super Bowl championship this year will be a, a massive crushing disappointment to me. If we win against the Packers, I'm thinking soupy, soupy.

I am officially back in on Kyle Pitts this season

I'm officially back in on Kyle Pitts. Oh no. I'm officially back in. Hear me out... [Kirk Cousins] is a different quarterback than has been throwing the ball to Kyle Pitts over the last two years. He might be smart enough to realize that Kyle Pitts is really theoretically good at football.

The Packers are the best team in the NFL by far and will win the Super Bowl

I'm gonna take the Packers in this game. The Packers are the best team in the NFL. I don't even think it's close. Not close. They're gonna win the Super Bowl... If the Packers somehow don't win the Super Bowl, which it's would be pretty crazy. If they don't, I will be first in line saying I was wrong.

Michael Jordan needs to be allowed back on the UNC football sidelines with a headset for decision making

I would say maybe Jordan needs to be allowed back on the sidelines headset. Why are you kicking Jordan out of all decision making from the team and then acting surprised when you get the shit kicked out of you by TCU week one?

Nico Iamaleava should transition to being a wide receiver

Nico, I'm a receiver. Yeah, that's, that's what I'm calling him... I think he's very fast. I think he's got great change of direction. I think he has no idea how to throw like an intermediate pass whatsoever.

South Carolina is the biggest fraud in the SEC

I don't really believe in Florida and I don't believe in South Carolina to the level of the pe I think South Carolina is the biggest fraud in the SEC.

The Packers fleeced the Cowboys in the Micah Parsons trade

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

A Taylor Swift divorce album would result in incredible music

I want them to be happily married forever. A divorce album would rock... I'm saying if it happened, there would be incredible music. Right. Don't want it happen.

Paige Bueckers will be better than Caitlin Clark in the WNBA

I said when she was a senior or her last year at UConn. She's gonna be better than Caitlin Clark... I think she's a better team player than Caitlin Clark. I think that she's a better winner than Caitlin Clark.

The Colts are intentionally tanking the season to draft Arch Manning

I think it was [Stephen A. Smith] that said that the Colts are purposely tanking for Arch Manning... makes me think the Colts are tanking for Arch Manning.

Christian McCaffrey should not be drafted in fantasy football this year

Not taking McCaffrey at all... We're still not drafting Christian McCaffrey... I can't do it guys. I'm sorry. I can't do it.

The Super Bowl should be played in London to make it a bigger global event

It's a football field. It's the same dimensions, it's the same place. Hey, people are, have it so twisted where it's like, if we want this to be the biggest event in the world, we should have it in [London]... It's better for the sport. It's better for the show. It's better for us. It's better for everyone.

London should host a Super Bowl and it would be a cool event for the sport

The British ambassador of the US is pushing for a Super Bowl in London. I am down for it... I just think London would be a cool city for a Super Bowl. Better than San Francisco. It'd be a cool event, fun week.

Arch Manning is as close to—or maybe even better than—Joe Burrow

Arch [Manning] is as close to or maybe as good as Joe [Burrow] as I've seen. Really. And I've never said that about anybody. I watched his practice, and I'll say this conservatively... Arch is the real deal.

The Mona Lisa is an ugly, shitty, overhyped painting

We don't understand the hype of the Mona Lisa whatsoever. It's a fucking chick. And she's ugly. I don't get it... It's a fucking painting. It's so dumb. It's so hyped... It's a shitty painting. If you put that up in my house, it'd be like, take it down. She's ugly.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Caleb Williams missing throws in training camp is actually AI-generated

I did see another one [video] that got like no retweets of him actually nailing the drills. ... I sent [Ryan Whitney] the clip and he said, sick. He looks awesome, being obviously facetious. And I said, that's AI dude. ... But I got you to believe that for a second.

The WNBA is likely throwing dildos on their own court for ratings

I have a stay woke. I think the WNBA is throwing dildos onto their own court. Get the ratings up.

The new 'Hawkeye' tracking technology in the NFL is just AI slop that doesn't solve anything.

The Hawkeye, they're putting tennis in our football. They mixed tennis in with football. And what they did was, on the first down, they showed the AI slop 3D cam that they hit a button and then they put a graphic on the screen and then the yellow line appears on the screen. The yellow line. That's, that's not new technology. The ball is still spotted by the refs. So it doesn't really have anything to do with anything.

Olive Garden is absolutely disgusting Italian food.

Olive Garden is absolutely fucking disgusting. If it's a true Italian... It's Italian, but it's a grape. But it's a good pick. It's a good for the graphic. It's a great pick. Unlimited bread, but in real life. Unlimited blows. No, that's ly are awesome. The pasta is good. The so is good. The pasta is probably about 20 minutes overcooked.

This Ravens defense has the potential to be the best ever.

I think this right here has the potential to be the best because we haven't done it yet. So it's untapped. So it's about, it's not about what's on paper, it's about what we actually do in person. I'm excited about the opportunity that we're gonna have as a unit because I know there's some damn good dudes on this team.

Reading is dumb

I think that this book we're dumb and books are dumb reading's. Dumb.

I will never be a better person than I am a golfer

I definitely fall short as a person... I think that's shit. I mean, it's like... I would say I have plenty of room to improve on the person front and, and definitely plenty of room and room to improve as a golfer as well. [Big Cat: There's no way you'll ever be a better person than golfer]. Yeah, I think that's, that's a fair option.

Dogecoin will eventually overtake Bitcoin

I feel like Doge is gonna take Bitcoin over at some point. I saw... I got the Doge. It's in a wallet somewhere.

UFC would be a better sport if there were more KOs and no gloves

There should be more KOs. No gloves. Too much defense. There's too much defense. I want more. They should be standing up and just throwing fist. Be a much better sport.

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are the same: delusional losers

Texas fans and Cowboys fans are very similar. Delusional. They're the same people. Bunch of losers.

Jayden Daniels will be the worst quarterback of the 2024 NFL Draft class

The Washington Commanders are gonna miss the playoffs. Jayden Daniels finish dead last out of the 2024 QBs in that draft class.

Caleb Williams is entering the best situation for a second-year quarterback in the history of the NFL

I truly believe this by the way. I think that the situation that Caleb Williams is in right now is the best situation in the history of second-year quarterbacks in the entire NFL. Think about it. They shored up the offensive line. They got rid of Matt Eberflus. That's good for six wins right there. They finally have a GM and a coach that are lined up on the same contract. They've got an offensive wizard at head coach who's got a bag that's deeper than the Mariana Trench.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

Every baseball game should be decided by a swing-off

I like the swing off. The end of game is great. I want everything decided by swing offs now. Regular season baseball games swing off... child custody hearings swing off.

Paul George will be the biggest bust in Philadelphia sports history

Paul George, Playoff P, Pre-season P has injured himself again... he's probably gonna go down as the biggest bust in Philly history. Him and Andrew Bynum... Ben Simmons... Markelle Fultz. Playoff P is in the running right now for biggest bust.

If LeBron James wins a title in Cleveland this year, it doesn't count

If he does go to the Cavs and the Cavs win in an East that is beyond depleted this year, we need to just already say this. That doesn't count. The Pacers are out of it, the Bucks are probably out of it. Coward move if he wins a title with the Cavs.

High school football players should be paid

We've been complaining to the NCAA you gotta pay the players. We might have to just switch up to high school football now. You gotta pay the players. Pay these guys. Pay the high school players... babies should get paid.

I'm counting Novak Djokovic's Wimbledon loss as his 25th major because Jannik Sinner is a cheater

I'm counting this as Novak Djokovic's 25th major because he played [Sinner] better than Alcaraz played [Sinner]. And [Sinner] is a sinner and he's a cheater. So therefore Ipso Facto Djokovic is the goat 25th major Grand Slam championship.

A quarterback should not have an eight-pack because it means they spend too much time on core work

I, in fact, I would prefer if my quarterback didn't have like an eight pack. It's way too much time working on your core. ... Still good quarterback. I, in fact, I would prefer if my quarterback didn't have like an eight pack.

The Pacific Time Zone is the worst time zone for sports

I hate Pacific Time zone. It sucks. Everything's just two nights in a row. ... I've pulled up like we have long days and I, I like, I'll pull up the Cubs game being like, I'm gonna watch the Cubs game in my hotel room. And they're just like, oh, they're down eight. Nothing. It's the eighth inning.

Jesus is the chillest bro of all time because he took a three-day nap

He's just the chillest guy of all time. Turn the other cheek. Try to, you know, bring world peace to the world. Dude, bro. Took a three day nap. How chill is that?

If Christian Yelich wins the Home Run Derby, Pardon My Take is officially over

If Christian competes in the home run derby and wins the home run derby... you know that your job would be, you wouldn't have a job. Why? Because the show would end. The last scene of this show would be us eating each other's ass. We can't come back from that. It'd be over.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

Jaden Daniels is the fifth best quarterback in the NFL

I watched an hour of his highlights in the 4th of July... I think he's five. I think just, yeah, he's five.

Baja Blast is the best soda ever created

Baja Blast... Probably the best soda ever created. Right, Hank? Easily, easily, easily. So grab a blast. A refreshing tropical lime flavor with Mountain Dew Baja Blast.

Joe Burrow's terrible first pitch was a staged viral marketing stunt by Fanatics

I think that whole fucking fanatics thing was just like, they basically listed like, alright, what's gonna go viral? Let's make a fake viral thing here... And they were like, Joe Burrow, we're gonna pay you like $2 million suck at throwing baseballs. That's the only way I can stomach it.

Dak Prescott would be just as successful as Jalen Hurts if he played for the Eagles

I'm more thinking the defense was nasty... I think it's kind of hard to definitively say that Dak Prescott couldn't do what Jalen Hurts [does] if he had that much.