Takes

Bo Nix and the Broncos are the best team in football when Nix is playing well

I think they're the best team in football with Good Bo. Yeah. With the way Bo Nix is playing right now. If this Bo Nix shows up in the playoffs, everyone is in trouble.

AI technology is failing because it doesn't justify its investment costs

I think AI is in hot water. I feel like this is, we're we're in a good spot as humanity right now where AI has not been making enough money to justify all the investment. ... We might beat the robots.

Kirk Cousins would get another $200 million contract if he only played the Buccaneers

Kirk Cousins might have another a hundred million dollars, $200 million contract if he could just play the Tampa Bay Buccaneers because in the last three starts against [them], he has thrown for 1,158 yards, 11 touchdowns, and one interception.

The 'torch' has been passed to Drake May and it cannot be passed back to Josh Allen

The torch has been passed and that's it. It's over... Drake may has the torch and then it will go until we pass it to someone else... It can't go back.

The Chiefs are more 'dead' for the future than the Cowboys

I think it's the Chiefs. I think it's the Chiefs for the now and for like the immediate future... They're $32 million over the cap for next year. How do you rebuild the offensive line... The defense has fallen off the face of the earth... I just think like this is a, a little bit, I don't know if it's just a snap my fingers and all of a sudden we're back... where it's like, if you're Dallas offensive line's really good and cheap, the the receivers are ridiculous.

The Eagles season is dead

This team is dead... Nothing will save this team. The only good thing about this team is that Kevin Patullo will get fired. We'll hire a new offensive coordinator and make the Super Bowl next year. Because it's just a cycle for the Eagles right now.

I would rather have the Eagles lose in the first round than miss the playoffs

I want to get a first round blowout so that next year could be Super Bowl... Preferably by the Bucs, but I don't think it is possible to play the Bucs in the first round.

Tyler Shough is the best quarterback in the 2025 draft class.

I'm an in on [Tyler] Shough. Best quarterback of the class.

Lamar Jackson sucks and the Ravens would only get a fourth and fifth-round pick for him if they traded him right now.

Lamar [Jackson] sucks... [The Ravens would only get] like a fourth and a fifth [round pick if they traded him right now].

Shedeur Sanders isn't actually controversial; the polarization is driven entirely by external conversations about him.

The most controversial parts of Shedeur Sanders are actually not Shedeur Sanders. It's what other people say about Shedeur Sanders. ... As a guy goes, I don't think that Shedeur is the reason—it's everybody else talking about [him].

Matthew Stafford's 31 career pick-sixes is actually a complimentary stat

Matthew Stafford has 31 [pick-sixes]. Brett Favre has 32. And you're like, 'Ooh, that's a bad stat.' And then you realize... that means you're very, very good because you played long enough that it didn't actually matter. It's actually kind of a compliment that the rest of your game is so good that 31 pick-sixes are completely irrelevant.

The Texans' defense is the best singular unit of any team in the AFC.

The Texans might be the best singular unit of any team in the AFC. ... Their defense is for real. And it's, it's like, shit, man. They, they beat the fuck—what they did to Josh Allen a couple weeks ago was like, oh man.

The 2026 World Cup draw will be rigged in favor of the United States.

The World Cup draw is tomorrow. ... I think this is gonna be the most rigged draw ever for the United States. And I put together my, this is my pick for our group: USA, Iran, South Africa, New Zealand.

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

Ben Johnson is the true alpha in Detroit who built the culture of aggression, not Dan Campbell

Who is the alpha in Detroit? Was Ben Johnson or Dan Campbell? Ben Johnson can fucking run the football. Ben Johnson is jacked. Ben Johnson is a culture builder... the violence, the aggression, the way they, the offensive, like of violence that he, it imposes on other teams.

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

Texas A&M is going to slaughter Texas in their rivalry game.

I know that I said that I thought Texas A&M was gonna demolish Texas on Friday. I had a lot of people very upset with me for that... I'm getting bullied out of my 'A&M will Slaughter Texas' take.

Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman Trophy

Let me hear hear have your Alexa hear me say Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman and then get it in the algorithm.

Turkey is a 'peasant bird' and doesn't belong on the Thanksgiving table

I'm not fucking settling for peasant for the peasant bird. Thank you very much... Turkey is dog shit. You guys don't know how cook Turkey.

Fans should respect my privacy and absolutely not watch the Commanders vs. Broncos game on Sunday Night Football.

Why is this game on Sunday night football? It sucks... Nobody should watch this game. Yeah. Like it, it honestly feels perverted that you would want to tune and watch this. This is a personal matter that I have that I'm dealing with... please respect my privacy.

Brian Daboll should be court-martialed for starting Russell Wilson over Jameis Winston

I keep saying this and every week I keep getting more vindicated for the fact that Brian Daboll should be [court-martialed] for starting Russell Wilson. It made no sense at the time. It makes even less sense now. Jameis Winston... is at 20.3 yards per completion.

Derrick Henry is officially washed and the Ravens should move to a running back by committee

I would probably go running back by committee if I was the Ravens. I think Derrick Henry's time is done... He just does nothing and all the other running backs are at least explosive.

The Kelly Green jerseys will fix the Eagles' struggling offense

The Kelly Greens could fix the offense. There's no reason to think that it won't... Always a good idea. Kelly Greens fix the offense. Wow, great idea.

Dan Campbell's fourth-down aggression is 'aggressive stupidity'

Dan Campbell goes for it all the time... I'm okay with aggression. I'm not okay with aggressive stupidity. That's the [difference]... if he had kicked field goals the other night, would he have won the game?

Billionaires who don't own a professional sports team are losers

I've said it a million times, I think it's a very strong take. If you are a billionaire and you don't own a professional sports team, you're a loser. ... The only reason you get that much money is to go buy a team.

The Broncos, Patriots, and Colts are more complete teams and better Super Bowl contenders than the Bills, Ravens, or Chiefs

I'm picking on the side of the Broncos, the Patriots, and the Colts. ... we are creatures that we love nostalgia. ... Old habits die really, really hard. And I think we think about the Ravens, the Chiefs, and the Bills. Yes, the best teams? No, they're not. The Ravens' defense is flawed. The Chiefs are 5-5. ... I think the teams like the Broncos and the Colts are more complete teams.

J.J. McCarthy is the new Tim Tebow.

J.J. McCarthy is the new Tebow. He just is. He's like, he'll throw an interception, go to the sidelines and like pat everybody on their shoulder be like, 'come on guys. Yeah. We all gotta step it up.' And then sometimes he'll pull like some magic out of his ass in the fourth quarter.

The Titans should stop punting and go for it on every fourth down for the rest of the year.

They should just not punt. They should say fuck it. Let's just get reps in on offense... Nobody gives a shit what happens with your special teams. Correct. It's not gonna do anything.

Jacoby Brissett is currently a better quarterback than Kyler Murray

He [Jacoby Brissett] has looked a lot better than Kyler Murray's looked this season. That's not—that's not a mistake. He's better right now.

The Lions are frauds who only score points against terrible teams

Every—this, it's a Lions suck fest because they score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams... This is just what the Lions do every fucking year. They score a lot of points against shitty fucking teams and everyone thinks that they're the best.

The College Football Playoff committee is intentionally keeping JMU out because they don't want any 'presidents' in the bracket

I think it's a anti-PFT thing. I think maybe the college football playoff committee has gone woke and they don't want any presidents in their bracket. Makes sense. It's sad. I mean, just fast forward 20 years, Trump University probably will be blacklisted too.

James Madison deserves a playoff spot because they are undefeated on Saturdays.

One school [James Madison] has not lost on a single Saturday... Undefeated on Saturdays. The other school [South Florida] has lost twice on Saturdays... You better hope to God that it's on a Friday if you don't put the undefeated on Saturday team in.

Tucker Kraft is the most important Packer and might get my vote for MVP.

The Packers, on the other hand, I feel like Tucker Kraft was the most important. He might be, he might get my vote for MVP.

NFL referees are intentionally not calling false starts on the tush push so they can use the tape to ban it in the offseason.

Refs are purposely not calling the false starts so that they can use that in the off season to ban it... they thought of how can we get a reason of why this should be banned? Say it's hard to officiate it, don't officiate it correctly, then it'll be banned.

My ceiling as a golfer might be higher as a lefty

I might be more... I can maybe my my ceiling is higher. Potentially left-handed more good at golf. My ceiling is higher. Damn. We'll see.

A 'hot blob' and an 'earth tilt' will make the Chicago winter catastrophic and uninhabitable

Apocalyptic winter might be upon us. Why? I think it's inhabitable winter. We might just have to go out of country... High pressure, massive ocean heat wave up in North Pacific. The blob... They're saying 2013-2014 had nothing on this blob.

I think I could give Victor Wembanyama problems just by bodying him and getting physical.

I think I could probably give him a problem just bodying him a little bit. A little bit more weight than him. Back him down... If I just threw a couple bows on him, he probably wouldn't wanna come in the paint.

I can pass the bar exam without going to law school if I study for four months

I have irrational confidence in myself to be able to pass the bar exam. It doesn't make any sense. I just think that if I, if I tried for like four months... I think I can, I can be a lawyer.

Body wash doesn't work under your armpits

My take was that it's bullshit. That body wash doesn't work under your armpits. If you use body wash on your armpits and you don't use deodorant, your armpits still smell like an hour later.

The Kansas City Chiefs will miss the playoffs

Memes, did you say that maybe the Chiefs won't make the playoffs? I did. You wanna stand on that? Sure. Okay. Chiefs won't make the playoffs. Oh, you're saying the Chiefs won't make the playoffs. Whoa.

The Patriots have an inflated record due to an easy schedule

Patriots look, they look cool. Patriots might have an inflated record due to their current schedule this season... I'm hearing around the league that your schedule might not have been the hardest.

It is coaching malpractice for Brian Daboll to play Russell Wilson over Jameis Winston

The fact that [Brian Daboll] has Russ Wilson starting or coming in second off the bench instead of Jameis, is it's malpractice as a coach. I think that's actually a worse mistake than losing four consecutive games where you have a lead by 10 or more points.

Drake Maye's early success is inflated due to an easy schedule

Drake May's wins might be a little inflated. Do their easy schedule this year. Whoa... Hottest take, I guess hottest take about this game would be... definitely a may win.

The Italian race is essentially finished because they are too attracted to Latinas

He [Jersey Jerry] told me today that Italians were done in this country... because a lot of them are attracted to Latinas. And so then they have kids with Latinas and then there's no more Italians.

The New Orleans Pelicans are 'soft quitting' the season to relocate

The Pelicans are just like soft quitting and gonna probably be in like relocate... they have no promotional calendar for the season... no bobbleheads... they're just soft quitting the Pelicans.

Bo Nix is a better version of Tim Tebow

Is Bo Nix just a better version of Tim Tebow? ... I'm saying Tim Tebow for the Broncos was awesome. Tebow time was incredible. I'm saying better version.

Mike McDaniel and Tua Tagovailoa should both be fired after the Dolphins' horrific loss

And Mike McDaniel you fired... it looked bad... they're just the most bad vibes team out there. The Dolphins have to just fire everyone. Start fresh... McDaniel will probably be fired and Tua will probably be fired... paid and fired.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

I am officially demanding a trade on behalf of AJ Brown

I side with AJ Brown. Yeah, I do. I do. It sounds like AJ his only crime. He's just too nice of a guy and he won't, he won't demand a trade. So I'll demand it for him. I'm demanding a trade on behalf of AJ Brown. Aj I will speak for you.