Takes

Justin Fields cannot be judged by his performance during the 2021 season

I'm people are gonna tell me he's the worst. I'm going to wait till he has a real coaching staff... I'm going to wait and see, because I have no other option. And if he is not good, then everything's just terrible, terrible, terrible... that this season you can't judge what Justin Fields is doing.

The Bears will beat the 49ers next week.

I think the Bears are probably going to beat the 49ers next week. So I'm already back.

The 2021 Lions are the best winless team in NFL history through seven games.

I think they're the best winless team in history though, at this point in a season. They're going to turn every game into a street fight where they're just going to do it. They're going to play like they have nothing left to lose.

Kyrie Irving was likely removed from the NBA 75 list at the last minute for 'shady' reasons.

Kyrie was on the list... they made highlight packages for all 75 players and they made one for Kyrie, but then he didn't make the final list. There's some shady shit going on there.

The Braves vs. Astros World Series will not interest a national audience

I feel bad the sport of the MLB. Cause like, let's be honest, Braves Astros. Doesn't really get the needle moving for a national audience.

Pablo Escobar's hippos have been legally classified as 'persons' by a US court.

Pablo Escobar's hippos have been classified as humans under the court of law... verbal meme: people like cocaine, big domino Pablo Escobar's hippos get classified as humans, human rights.

If Ben Simmons is faking mental health issues to avoid playing, he is setting mental health awareness back significantly

I applaud Ben Simmons for being so brave. Yes, exactly. I would like to agree. Yeah. I would say it's okay to not be okay... If he is faking it, he's actually setting mental health way back way.

Ben Simmons is the reason the Philadelphia 76ers have been held back

I keep saying it and I feel like there's some people who still don't understand it. Like Ben Simmons is the reason why the Sixers have been held back. It's not that he, like if Joel Embiid was holding out, it'd be a completely different scenario here because Joel Embiid is their best player by far in away.

Daryl Morey is making the right move by being willing to wait four years to trade Ben Simmons

Daryl Morey, I think he is probably read 'Art of the Deal' because he said they are willing to have this last four years... he just anchored the negotiation. He said, we're not going to trade him unless we get a true piece back. And if this has to go on for four years, it will go on for four years. Here's to four years. I hope it does, because that would be hilarious. But Daryl Morey. Good, good countermove to Ben Simmons saying he's dealing with mental health.

The Braves are going to kill the Dodgers tonight in Game 5 of the NLCS

And then we're taking me before the Braves Dodgers game. This will be all time Atlanta curse slash big cat mush. But I think the Braves are gonna kill the Dodgers tonight.

I am going to keep betting on the Raiders as long as Rich Bisaccia is the head coach

I'm going to stay betting on the Raiders until proven otherwise. I loved what [Rich Bisaccia] showed me last week. The guys came out, they played hard. So yeah, I'm not going to jump off that yet.

The Detroit Lions will beat the Los Angeles Rams outright

I think they're going to win this one outright. The Detroit Lions... [I am] sprinkling the shit out of the Moneyline. Heavy sprinkle. Heavy pour on the moneyline and Salt Bae on the moneyline.

The Cincinnati Bengals will be officially elevated to a good playoff team if they keep it close or beat the Baltimore Ravens

If the Bengals can keep this close or possibly win this game, they are officially elevated to a good team playoff team. Like, and I think they're right there. I think their defensive played very well.

I am officially on my 'last straw' with the Washington Football Team's organization

My announcement is I am officially on my last straw. Washington football team last straw. In fact, I went out, I bought a straw... If it gets anything bad, happens to the point where I, I lose faith in this organization again. Well, what, what Hank you, what else could they do that during my soul to you? They're only good players dead. And they fucked up his retirement ceremony.

Justin Fields will have a 'coming out party' against the Buccaneers because their secondary is bad

I have told myself the Bucs secondary sucks. This will be Justin Fields' coming out party. Now, can they stop the Bucs? I do not know, but the over 47... I'm going to stay with the Bears.

The internet should be shut down or strictly monitored

It's really a, it's a low point, you know, point in, I think the internet should be shut down and, or at least monitored. You gotta somehow, like I've been doing this bit about in cells that, you know, a bunch of people who aren't don't know how to talk to women, talk to a bunch of other people don't know how to talk to women. And in the end, they're all blaming women.

NFL ratings and money are the only reason quarterbacks are over-protected by rules

I think their ratings went down when quarterbacks got hurt and people didn't want to watch the games. So they just started protecting them more so than they ever did... I always choose this money. It's always been about the money. If they actually cared about the players, they wouldn't address this issue decades ago.

The Seahawks lost Super Bowl XLIX because they followed analytics over the human element of coaching

Analytics and numbers is also why the Seahawks lost to the Patriots because that play the whole year, the worst it was was an incomplete. And that's some of the high percentage. It was a touchdown except on that play that lost in the Super Bowl and it was an interception... What wasn't in the analytics was Bill Belichick knowing about that play and having everybody practice it.

John Gruden's $100 million contract was fair because his presence makes teams money

Overrated 10 million a year for John Gruden is a fair fucking price... when the Raiders, when he coaches the Raiders, the Raider fans show up, they make money and they become a competitive team. That's a hundred million dollar contract. You over 10 years. That's 10 million a year. That's chicken, shit money.

I could have been a great NFL linebacker at my peak

I believe I could have been a great linebacker. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think I would have, you know, I love Aaron Donald and he's probably my favorite player. So I watch a little bit because of this guy... I believe I could have been a great, you know, linebacker.

LeBron James is the 'ultimate package' as a human being and will win more NBA championships

I think LeBron is the ultimate package, you know, he is a great athlete, he's a great human being... He's won four rings, he's going to win more.

The USA Rugby team will challenge New Zealand and the match will end in a draw

I think USA rugby is going to challenge, man. It's going to be a draw. They're going to rise up to the occasion.

Ryen Russillo would beat the Pardon My Take crew in a fight because he holds so much internal anger

I actually have a different take on it. I think Russillo holds so much anger in his shoulders and neck from various people online saying, oh, did you vote for Trump because of the taxes that he would probably kick all of our assets... he would cave my Skullet.

Jake Marsh would beat Ryan Russillo, Nephew Kyle, and Sir Rudy in a fight by himself through pure sportsmanship

What if we... let's do the fight. We just sent Jake Marsh. Boom. He kick all their asses. One verse three. Fun with that. Come on. Sportsmanship to death.

Ben Simmons should quit because he clearly doesn't like playing basketball

I think at this point, Ben Simmons should just quit playing basketball. I think he should quit. I think he just doesn't like it. I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't like playing basketball... he's built to be a basketball player... but at some point, if you don't actually like playing it, yeah. That's almost a curse.

The Bucks are a lock to win on NBA opening night

Also the Bucks... what if the Bucks are maybe the biggest lock tonight? The rosters coming allly back. You saw that video with Giannis with the jump shot. This is like the greatest basketball player of all time.

The Bills will finish as the 1-seed in the AFC despite the Titans loss

The bills will be fine. They have, I think the second easiest or easiest schedule for the rest of the year. So they'll, I still think they'll probably end up with the one seed because they, I mean, even their next three games, the bills play the dolphins, the Jaguars, the jets.

Texas is actually getting better every week even though they keep losing

I actually think that Texas is getting better every week... I do think that Texas, the more they lose, the better they get.

LSU is a top-three job in college football and better than USC

LSU is a top three job. I would say in college football... I mean the stat that everyone's keeps throwing out and it is crazy to think the last three coaches at LSU all won national titles... I think [LSU is a better job] because no one competes with LSU now in Louisiana. They don't have the in-state talent. They get to keep.

The Red Sox are the best team in baseball and will win the World Series

It's just crazy that the red Sox are just going to win the world series again... They're not that good. They're not that good. Oh, but now they're just the best team in baseball. Yeah. They're like killing the Astros.

Shane Wright is a generational talent on the level of Sidney Crosby

He is just the real deal. It seems as he can, he can handle the pressure... he's basically on the trajectory where he would be like a similar to like a [Sidney] Crosby.

The Arizona Coyotes should 'Tank for Shane' to save the franchise

For the betterment of the organization tank for Shane [Wright]... you need to get those generational players to start somewhere.

The Buffalo Sabres will finish at the bottom of the NHL standings

I think that they're going to end up right at the bottom of the basement... our team is shit. We're going to finish in the bottom five year after year after year.

The Maple Leafs will finally get over the playoff hump this year

I'm confident that they're going to be able to get over that edge this year... I've doubled down on my four skin challenge where I'm going to double down and you can chop my whole cock off and keep it if that fucking team can't make [a run].

The Seattle Kraken won't make the playoffs in their inaugural season

I personally don't think that they're going to make playoffs, even though they're in the weakest division in the NHL. I think that they're, they're going to be at cusp team.

Alex Ovechkin will pass Wayne Gretzky for the all-time goal record

I think he's going to pass Wayne Gretzky. I do. Cause if the league hasn't figured out how to stop that shot after how many years he's been in there... He can continue to do that for five years, right?

The Blackhawks will return to the playoff picture this year

I thought they were the most improved team over the off season... Taves took the whole year off he's back. You got Seth Jones and then Fleury... I think the Hawks are back in the playoff picture.

The NHL needs to implement a soft cap and luxury tax

I think it's ridiculous the fact that because of all that stuff that some teams got jammed up where they can't even keep the players that they drafted and developed... I think that in that case, maybe they can eliminate that or, or penalize that more. I just feel that if you're drafting and developing players and then you're being punished for it... it seems a little bit contradictory.

Florida and Colorado will meet in the Stanley Cup Final

Every time I go on a different show, I predict two different teams. Really sad veteran. Let's go with Florida and Colorado.

Trevor Lawrence is the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given he has the 'horniest coach in the world'

Trevor Lawrence is actually the greatest rookie quarterback of all time given the circumstances, given the fact that his coach [Urban Meyer] is the horniest guy in the world, the team stinks... he's providing a steady hand and he's guiding this franchise during a tumultuous time when they don't have a leader.

Urban Meyer doesn't actually enjoy football; he just wants to be out of the house

I don't think [Urban Meyer] enjoys any part of football. No, I think he just likes being out of the house.

Tua Tagovailoa is a 'wait and see' guy who will ruin your franchise

When you have a guy that is a wait and see guy, those are the worst guys. Those are the guys that like 10 years from now, 15 years from now, you look back and you're like, well, we really wasted three years... the wait and see guys, they will ruin your franchise because you're like, I think this guy can be good if we just get stability around him.

You cannot trust a left-handed quarterback

I do think when you're a wait and see guy and your guy that might not be very good is also a lefty... I don't know, I really do think lefties, I think we've heard players say that it's weird, it's different catching a ball from a lefty... I've just always thought lefties are weird.

The Cincinnati Bengals are 'good-ish' and will be a .500 team

I'm officially ready to declare today at 4-2... the Cincinnati Bengals are good-ish. I'm looking at the Bengals schedule moving forward... I think the Bengals are going to be a .500 ball club.

The Colts will be firmly in the AFC playoff picture come December

I guarantee you that [the Colts] will be like part of the playoff picture come December.

Carson Wentz is officially no longer a good quarterback

I truly don't think [Carson Wentz] is good anymore. And it was a very freeing thing, both like in betting and just life, to just not have to think all the time about how Carson Wentz—oh, this might be the game that he recaptures that year where he almost won MVP.

Joe Judge will be the first NFL coach fired

I think we're officially on Joe Judge watch... things fall apart very quickly for Joe Judge types... he feels like the first to go.

Streaming services should pay to show fans running on the field

Have there be a policy on your streaming service that you will always show any fan that runs on the field. You can pay extra for that. I would absolutely be like, alright, I'm going to watch this game on Peacock and not on NBC.

Aaron Rodgers still owns the Chicago Bears and it is soul-crushing

Aaron Rodgers owns my fucking life and I'm sick of it... He's 22-5 against the Bears. Rent-free doesn't begin to cut it... it sucks how much he owns the Bears.

Patrick Mahomes is still the best quarterback in the NFL

Yeah, he's still the best quarterback in the NFL when he's like—the reason why he gets like rope here, it's just the same way that like Aaron Rodgers gets rope... I'm not concerned long term.