Takes

The NCAA will be defunct within five years due to NIL and conference realignment

With all the conference realignment and stuff going on and all of the NCAA. And NIL, I think that the NCAA will be defunct within five years. I like it. I liked that. So it was the sec just gonna become the, the NCAA. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's what it feels like. That's where is trending anywhere where it's all just money they're taking out the administrative school part of it.

I prefer the easy way out when it comes to winning championships

I prefer the easy way out. Kinda my thing. I don't know this, and there's a good parody in the Blake via context... I didn't really accomplish much [this year], but here we are.

I threw between 3 and 8 touchdowns during Packers OTAs

I also got a new job. Yep. And green bay I threw and give or take four touchdown passes during the OTAs. So have you ever take, three to eight? You pick a number of all right. Somewhere in there under 10.

The IOC and NBC are idiots for not letting people share Olympic clips online

The IOC in their infinite wisdom... doesn't want anyone sharing any Olympic clips, pictures, anything, because God forbid anyone talks about the Olympics and these random sports that you stumble upon... I can't understand... why tweeting a 20-second clip of a random sport like handball... is something they want to stop.

The Wisconsin Badgers could win the Olympic gold medal in basketball

I really do think that the Wisconsin Badgers could win the gold medal because it does feel like that's the style of basketball [in the Olympics]. I was actually thinking that probably the worst NBA team would have a better chance at winning the title than this group right now.

Olympic fencing should use sharper swords to make it more dangerous

I think they should have sharper swords and fencing. Like give me an element of danger. It should be death, death, death, but like maiming.

The Olympic shooting competition should ban specialized gear and mirrors

When you shoot in the rifle competition, you have like, you look like a cyborg. It looks like you're wearing Google glass and like a mirror over your eye and all the shit. And that to me should go. Also, if you're shooting a rifle, there's no need to bring a mirror into the situation. You have a gun, and then you have a target and that's it.

Aaron Rodgers will return to the Packers for one more year just to lose in the NFC Championship

He puts up a picture of Michael Jordan and Scottie Pippen... which I guess they're trying to say the 'Last Dance', which would mean they would both show up. But then what is the last dance for Aaron Rodgers? Losing in the NFC championship game? Like what? ... Let's run this back one more time where we disappoint everybody, try to lose as the number one seed.

Aaron Rodgers has a 30% chance of retiring to host Jeopardy!

I think if I were to put money on it right now, it's like 30, 30, 30, 30% that [Aaron Rodgers] retires to host Jeopardy! 30% that he plays the Denver Broncos and acts surly. Yeah, probably for the Broncos. And then the other 33% or whatever is that he just like goes and lives in the mountains of Peru.

The New York Yankees should fire Aaron Boone

I think we should fire him. ... You let him throw the third wild pitch? Like the first two, like take him out. Like the guy definitely was not in any position to be on that mound.

The Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez relationship is a fake publicity stunt

It's fake love because it's all publicity stunt. The fact that they're remaking old pictures, they don't actually love each other. Imagine doing this, imagine having a relationship that is all for the tabloids... it's disgusting.

The Utah Jazz is the dumbest team name in sports

The Utah Jazz, it's the dumbest name in sports. It really [is]. ... If it was just the Boston Red Sox, the Knickerbockers... so many team names you're like, 'this doesn't make any sense'.

The 2021 Bucks championship was one of the hardest NBA titles to win ever

I mean, look, we played the Brooklyn Nets in the second round. They've got three superstars... and it was definitely one of, if not the hardest. We started off with a team that we owed revenge to [Miami], and the Atlanta Hawks are a good young team... and the Phoenix Suns are obviously a great team.

I can lift more than Giannis Antetokounmpo pound-for-pound

Me and [Giannis] have a nice little friendly competition on who can lift more during a certain exercise, you know, pound for pound. Who's stronger of that nature... I said, 'Hey, look, you deserve all the credit, but don't think that I, I think you can beat me in a weightlifting contest.' That's not going to happen.

The US basketball team struggles in the Olympics because international rules mitigate athleticism

The three point line closer... The key is a little bit smaller. So there's no defensive three seconds. So you can sit in the key for really, as long as you want. Goaltending: if the ball touches the rim, you can bat it off... When you're able to shrink the court a little bit, you're able to give Kevin Durant less space... It becomes more about skill... it just kind of mitigates that athleticism.

I could medal in curling because I like cleaning

My first pick is going to be curling. I think if you just gave me four years, I could figure it out every single day. I like shuffleboard, I like ice, I like being slightly overweight... and broom guy, the broom guy seems like it's like—I love cleaning.

I could medal in pole vaulting if I trained for four years

I will go with pole vaulting. You just run, stick the stick... All you got to do is run straight and get the timing down. I'm going to be jacked by August.

I could medal in Equestrian sports because the horse does the work

This one, you actually don't have to be athletic at all, but a question in sports... you can train a horse, you don't actually have to be that good. ... It's new team names. The horse does the work.

I could medal in Olympic ski jumping by just going 'full send' once

I'm going to go with ski jumping. I'll just bomb it once and just go full send... and just land and crash and I'll have the longest one. ... I can stand perfectly still for about 10 seconds while I'm going downhill... and then you just do like one of those little springs at the last second.

I want to win an NBA championship as a podcast just for the opportunity to have a parade

I think we should try to win an NBA championship as a podcast. Because it looks awesome. I just think that there should be more parades in general. Parades really only exist nowadays if you win a championship or like for an inauguration... it looks like I really do think that we should try our best to win a championship in a professional sport because that looks awesome.

PJ Tucker's role on a championship team is specifically to be the 'dog'

PJ Tucker's role is to be a dog. So he was just like saying, you need dogs to win that's him. Yeah. So he was like, yeah. He was like defining his role. He had to teach everyone else how to be a dog.

Ordering soda without ice is a smart consumer move to get 25% more drink

No ice, I think that's just being a smart consumer. You get more soda that way. I think if you grow up with not a whole lot of money, you know the no ice trick, because you get an extra probably 25% of the drink with it and you don't need the ice.

Texas is the most high-maintenance girl in college football

It is a very Texas thing to do. They always think that they're going to be the hottest chick in the room and they never are. It's like Texas is the most high maintenance girl that you've ever dated. They always need to be told how good they look all the time.

Joining the SEC is a mistake for Texas because they are not 'back' yet

Texas is going to be in trouble. I think if they go to the sec because they're not, they're not Texas, Texas is not back yet. They've been almost back for a while. And I think, I think it'd be a big mistake. They still think that there the Texas of old.

Texas A&M has a legitimate path to compete for a national championship because of their move to the SEC

Texas A&M has a path now to maybe compete for a national championship. They were just right there last year... as much as iron sharpens iron, I don't think that has as much to do with recruiting as it does with coaching and the entire program.

Jerry Jones stated he would do anything known to man to get into another Super Bowl

Jerry Jones is basically saying that he's going to kill a person. He said, 'I'm not trying to be sacrilegious here, but the facts are that I would right now, if I could, and I knew I had a good chance to do it, I would do anything known to man to get into a Super Bowl.'

Miami Marlins are the most edible team name in professional sports

I was actually I went through all the teams and I was like, what is just the most edible thing? And I think it's the Miami Marlins. I would take the Marlins. I would eat them Marlyn. And I think that's something people actually eat. I believe so. I, they look delicious.

Dinosaur meat, specifically Toronto Raptor meat, would be the most expensive and elite meat to eat

I'm going to eat a Toronto Raptor. I'm going to eat a Raptor, a dinosaur. Imagine how expensive you think like Kobe beef is expensive, I've bought some Raptor beef. It's a fucking rich man's move to be like, 'Yeah, I've eaten some dinosaur.'

Penguin meat would be a delicious treat because of their fat layer

I'm going to go with a penguin. Ooh. I would eat a penguin... And you admit though, like their diet gives them a nice layer of fat. Yeah. It's probably a delicious treat. Yeah. Right.

Dolphins would be a delicious meal if you harpooned them the old-fashioned way

We're going with a dish that the Japanese do really well: dolphins. [I'd kill it the] old fashioned way, harpoon, just choke it out. Just bring them into a Cove and slaughter them all. That's the old fashioned way is just stabbing a dolphin with a harpoon.

The Seattle Kraken are an elite edible team name because you can either drink the rum or eat mythical 'Kraken calamari'

I'm going to go with a Kraken. That actually makes sense. And also it's a rum as well. So I could get fucked up off the rum, or if you want to take it as the mythical creature, it's like Kraken calamari.

The 2021 Hall of Fame weekend will be one of the greatest gatherings in the history of football

It is going to be, I think one of the greatest gatherings from football ever. We'll have 161 Hall of Famers... we have the Centennial class, which again, that was originally going to be 20 Hall of Famers for 2020... that leaves us 19 [living inductees].

Peyton Manning's Hall of Fame debate only lasted 10 seconds

He knew it, it took 10 seconds for him to get in the hall of fame. You know, Mike Chapple from Indianapolis did his presentation. And I think all he said was Peyton Manning dropped the mic. Yeah. And, and, and he, he didn't have to make the presentation. Everybody knew he was going to.

Olivia Manning is effectively a Hall of Fame 'contributor' for her role in her family's success

I feel like Olivia Manning should be nominated for the hall of fame as a contributor... [Baker]: Olivia and... frankly, her mom was a world-class sprinter, you know? So I think he [Christian McCaffrey] got some speed from her... Olivia and I, and again, I got to tell you... I've always regarded him [Archie] as one of the great fathers.

You don't have to be a professional football player to have a 'Hall of Fame life'

Hopefully from [these stories] guys learn that you don't have to be a football player to have a Hall of Fame life. And, frankly, watching them and learning from them can make you guys better broadcasters. It can make me a better dad and can make us a better community and a better country.

The Fox NFL 'injury music' would be the perfect song to play off Hall of Famers who give too long of a speech

[David Baker], you talked about the play it off music that you have in store for people after eight minutes. I would say the Fox NFL injury music song... the really soft version of that might be good.

Cleaning your ass with a showerhead and a towel is a valid solution when you run out of TP while moving

I sat down and started taking a shit and realized there was no toilet paper. And so I just took a shower... I didn't have anything. I just literally got in the shower or like wipe my ass and then got out... I used the towel and I threw away the towel.

Experienced fathers develop a 'sixth sense' that allows them to catch vomit in their hands

I finally get after all these years, like why people love the Jersey shore... My son was a little sick this week. I, now I have like dad's sixth sense. I caught my son's puke in my own hand that's because I knew it was coming and I fucking caught the whole goddamn puke in my hands.

Modern weed is too strong; we need to bring back 'mids' for the casual smoker

The weed is different nowadays. Bring back mids, right? When I was in high school, like you take one hit and then all of a sudden, like you're so high... I'm not a weed guy, but yeah. I'm a cost-effective high guy.

Texas and Oklahoma will be able to generate significantly more NIL money for recruits by joining the SEC

Texas [is] able to get way more NIL [money] for the recruits than probably other colleges with the Longhorns network. That would probably be a huge reason why they want to go into the SEC because they [have] all this money they can pay the recruits.

Mountain goats drink each other's urine to wash their teeth

Goats drink each other's urine to wash their teeth. What? Goats? Mountain goats. They're pissed dogs. They drink each other's piss to wash the teeth.

Giannis Antetokounmpo's Game 6 performance was one of the top three or four of all time, better than Michael Jordan or LeBron James.

I think it was one of the top three or four Game 6 performances of all time... Michael Jordan would be one. The other would be LeBron James against the San Antonio Spurs... and it [Giannis's performance] was better than both of those. It was 50 points in a clincher.

The crown of the NBA has been passed from LeBron James to Giannis Antetokounmpo.

I think the torch discussion... I feel like that's not even the correct discussion to have. I feel like we should have a crown discussion. I think the crown is now [Giannis's]. I think that it's no longer King James. I think it's King Giannis.

The Milwaukee Bucks winning the NBA title is good for the game of basketball.

I'm going to put this out there. It's good for the game. The Bucks winning is good for the game.

The fact that Michael Jordan and Giannis Antetokounmpo are the only players to win MVP, DPOY, and Finals MVP will drive LeBron James crazy.

Michael Jordan [is] the only player to win an MVP, DPOY, and Finals MVP and it's just him and Jordan. Like that's got to drive LeBron [James] crazy.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is officially the best player in the NBA.

[Giannis Antetokounmpo] is out of this world, best player in the league right now you have to do that. Right? You have to do it as of right this second until someone else takes his crown.

Jackass Forever will be the start of a massive streak of movie hits.

Jackass Forever, the trailer came out... and I feel like it's just going to be hit after hit after hit after hit for the next few months because there's so much of a backlog [from the pandemic].

The Jackass movies are the perfect comedy and it is impossible to make a funnier film.

The jackass movies are the perfect comedy. They really are. I don't think that you can actually get funnier. The only way you can make a funnier movie than jackass is to make another jackass sequel.

The Houston Texans might not even play the upcoming NFL season.

I wouldn't be shocked if the Texans were like, we're not doing this season... we might've reported that the Texans won't play the season like three months ago. It's exclusive. They're going to stink a lot.

Deshaun Watson will play during the 2021 NFL season.

There was a tweet that said, 'Hey, Deshaun Watson... I was just wondering if you were playing the season, just like this tweet if it's true.' And he liked the tweet. [Big Cat: There we go. Schefter doesn't have that scoop].