Takes

The Bears will be chasing the mistake of drafting Mitch Trubisky for a decade

These are the repercussions of missing. When you take a swing for the fences on a quarterback in the first round and you miss, you feel it for a decade going forward. The Bears will be chasing that mistake for a very long time.

The Bears' defense is good enough to win a Super Bowl if they were paired with even an above-average offense.

The defense is good. I think the Bears' defense, it's still... Oh, it's very good. It's a defense that you could definitely win a Super Bowl with if you had an above-average offense. But [the Bears] don't.

Theo Epstein will be the next MLB Commissioner

I actually think he'll be the next commissioner. He should be the next commissioner. I think Manfred's got to be nervous because Theo Epstein's a fucking genius, and everything he does turns into being great.

Vine was the perfect social media app

Vine, it was the most perfect app that's ever been invented. Vine was everything that TikTok and Instagram stories and fleets always wanted to be. Vine was the perfect app. Six seconds. It also, Vine was like the greatest, because TikTok, anyone can do anything... Having to be funny in six seconds or less is very hard to do.

Twitter should not add an edit button; I prefer to live my life by the seat of my pants and 'fire and forget.'

For the record, I don't want an edit button. No. I live my life by the seat of my pants. I just fire off. I fire and forget. I don't want to have to go back and edit shit. Everyone says give me an edit button. I'm team not edit button.

I will be addicted to Twitter Fleets within a month

We're actually really going to like fleets. I'm guaranteeing. Give me a month. I'll be addicted to fleets.

If a show host is constantly bragging about the growth and size of their show, it is probably not as big as they claim.

Not to break the fourth wall, but if someone is talking about how big their show is, like constantly, probably not. Yes. If they constantly can't stop talking about the growth of their show, probably not as big as they say.

It is mathematically impossible to lose all your money in my parlay system.

Is it possible to lose all your money in your parlay system? No, you can't lose all of it. It's impossible. Impossible to lose all of it. You can lose some of it. You can win a lot more, but you can't lose all of it.

The 2020 NBA Draft might be historically bad at the top

It's a bad draft at the top, and it may be historically bad. I know the closer we get to this, it happens every year where it'll be a bad draft... But at the top, you always hope every year there's maybe one or two guys that can really impact a franchise... And this one has a chance to have zero.

James Wiseman is the best player in the 2020 NBA Draft

I like Wiseman... I like him this much in comparison to everybody else... The thing I like about him is yes the size and all that stuff he catches everything... Wiseman also has another level that I don't know if he's going to get to, but he'll show it with his handle. He'll show a really soft touch where he almost has some of these offensive small forward skills that you start to get really, really excited about.

The younger a prospect is, the higher their expected improvement and draft value should be.

How much stock do you put into the difference between a 19-year-old and a 22-year-old... I do. I do. There's just enough information that backs it up... the younger you are as a prospect... the expected improvement, and it's really not even debatable... the better players end up becoming the guys that are drafted when they're younger.

The Bucks trading multiple unprotected first-round picks for Jrue Holiday is irresponsible

When you look at the Bucs and say, wait, in 2027, part of that Drew Holiday deal is a 2027 unprotected pick? That, to me, is insane slash irresponsible... To think here we are seven drafts from now, there's this pick that's completely unprotected... I don't understand why people think this is like normal.

I benched 315 pounds for three reps today just messing around

Fucking put the microphone down. I put up 315 three times today fucking around. Get back to me in a couple years.

Kyra Lewis from Alabama is a top 5 prospect in the 2020 NBA Draft.

I love Kyra Lewis from Alabama... I'm going to put him five [in my top five] just to be. So, you know, in a few years, if I kill it with this, he'd be like, oh, my gosh, I can't believe Russillo called that.

James Harden's production is inflated by about 25% due to the Rockets' system

I also think Houston's style is almost like the best Instagram filter... where when you go play in Houston's system when it's Harden... you're 25% better... it's very clear, at least to me, and I don't know why more people don't say this, that you almost have to shave off like 25% of it [Harden's production].

Kyrie Irving might not want James Harden on the Brooklyn Nets

I'm wondering if Kyrie is signing off on this. Because you would – I mean, look, I can never forget trying to figure out Kyrie, but I could actually see him not loving it at all because now all of a sudden he's going to be off the ball a lot more.

If your boyfriend switches from playing quarterback to wide receiver in college, you should dump him immediately.

How long do I have to wait to dump him without it being obvious it's not about him being a quarterback anymore? Do it now. Do it now. Because you know what? You don't actually love him. He said he's a wide receiver, but he's really just going to get in on a couple of random special teams plays.

Camo Crocs are sick and making a comeback

Camo Crocs are sick. Crocs might be making a comeback.

The Ravens are frauds

Week 10 in the books. The Ravens are frauds. Confirmed.

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs

I have never wavered from the Patriots making the playoffs. And I still think that.

God is the Browns' best offensive coordinator

If you're a Browns fan, you're sitting here on Monday and being like, I think God is a Browns fan now. Because God, who decides the weather obviously, keeps doing the worst possible weather in Cleveland on game days and forcing the Browns to run the football. God is literally your best offensive coordinator. He's saying, do not throw it a million times. Run the rock.

The Chiefs, Lions, Falcons, and Chargers are the funnest teams to watch because of the inevitable chaos

I would put like the Chiefs, the Lions, the Falcons, and the Chargers as like the funnest teams to watch in the NFL, knowing that some crazy shit's going to happen. Like a 21-point lead [blowing it]. Some sort of heartbreak occur to the Lions franchise.

Empty stadiums make games windier because there are fewer bodies to block it

I think no fans makes the stadiums windier. Okay, because there's fewer bodies to intercept and block off the wind. I feel like wind has been happening more, and this game was very windy and weird. I think the amount of people, yeah, I think no fans, more wind.

The Steelers and Packers are not the best teams in their respective conferences despite their records

The teams that are leading each conference are probably not the best teams in each conference. The Steelers, yeah, they're 8-0. The Steelers might go undefeated. Who knows? ... And then the Packers are 7-2 at the top of the NFC. I don't think either one of those teams is the best team in that conference.

I would draft a punter first overall as an NFL GM

If I were a GM for an NFL franchise, I think I would draft a punter first overall. Because these punters, like when Johnny Hecker does his thing for the Rams... That's how you make up for being an inferior team.

The Giants are a good football team and will win the NFC East

The Giants are going to win the NFC East. Yeah, they are. The Giants are actually, dare I say it, a good football team. I'm graduating them. Yeah, I am. I'm saying they're a good football team.

The Giants are by no stretch a good football team

I'm telling you, man. The Giants are by no stretch a good football team. I think you think that they're good because in your wildest dreams, this is like what a great Bears team would look like right now. I rebuke that statement. I disavow that statement entirely.

The Giants are better without Saquon Barkley

So what you're basically saying is that the Giants are better without Saquon Barkley. Yes. I forgot he existed. I legit, before you said that word, holy shit... with those two guys' [Gallman/Morris] skill sets, it's actually a plus improvement over losing Saquon Barkley.

Mike Evans is a top three wide receiver in the NFL

I think Mike Evans, I think he continues to be kind of like an underrated wide receiver... I think he's probably top three wide receiver in the NFL.

Andrew Luck will eventually go to Denver to win a Super Bowl

You know who [Elway] could call? Andrew Luck. Yep. That's true. Stanford connection. Andrew Luck to Denver. Follows in the footsteps of Peyton, former Colt, going to Denver to win a Super Bowl.

Anthony Lynn is holding back the Chargers' talent with conservative coaching

The Chargers have all the talent in the world and they've got a coach who just doesn't know what he's doing. Anthony Lynn is probably the most conservative coach. But when you have that much talent on your team, you can't play that conservatively.

The Dolphins are for real and past the 'frisky' stage

The Dolphins, they're for real. Yeah. I've got them in my for real column. Yes. They're not a fluke... They have been elevated from frisky to, for real.

Kyler Murray is now must-watch TV

But Kyler Murray, who is now – like, he is officially elevated to must-watch, like – drop everything you have to watch every time he's got the ball that was insane that was an insane play.

Russell Wilson is only playing poorly because he's secretely hurt

Is Russell Wilson hurt? He's got to be hurt, Big Cat. He's got to be hurt. He was in the middle of an MVP season. He's got to be hurt. If you don't know, Russell Wilson is one of the – there's certain athletes that are so beloved that the only way they can ever be bad is if they're hurt... they're like, well, he must be hurt.

Drew Brees' injury is actually to his shoulder, not his ribs

Drew Brees has a bad shoulder. Okay. He got slammed on his shoulder. I think he's going to miss some time. Yeah, because his shoulder's hurt. You're being too woke on this one. Watch the replay and tell me his shoulder's hurt.

Sean Payton is on a revenge tour against Roger Goodell over COVID fines

Sean Payton is going to be so mad at the NFL because Schefter had a report this morning saying that the NFL was about to come down with unprecedented fines on the Saints for not taking COVID seriously. So Sean Payton is going to be on an all-time fuck you revenge tour against Roger Goodell.

The Steelers and Chiefs are on a collision course in the AFC

It feels like it's a collision course between the Steelers and the Chiefs, which saying that out loud right now means the Steelers will lose in the playoff to can the Jaguars get in because that would be Dolphins like to Blake something stupid will happen to the Steelers.

Jordan Spieth is officially washed and no longer good at golf

I also didn't realize I learned this week that Jordan Spieth is just not good at golf anymore. No, he sucks. He was good for like three years, which ended in 2017. Now he stinks.

James Harden joining the Nets would be a complete disaster

James Harden apparently wants to come to Brooklyn and play with the Nets, which would be a complete disaster. It would destroy the entire... Yeah, what the hell? Yeah, that's not going to work. There wouldn't even be a super team.

I will get a tattoo of Drew Brees' touchdown total if he wins the Super Bowl

I have to get a tattoo if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl... No, I said that if Drew Brees wins the Super Bowl, I'll get a tattoo of whatever number of touchdowns he ends up with.

The Tennessee Titans are frauds

We have to talk about the Tennessee Titans being frauds and having the worst special teams of all time. Fraudulent football team.

A punter should be able to play with a broken wrist

I think that if you're a punter with a broken wrist and I want to be the heart of football guy... you should be able to punt with a broken wrist. If you're a punter, that's the one thing in your life that you should be able to still do with a broken wrist.

Philip Rivers is afraid of contact and can't throw deep anymore

Phil Rivers is at this point of his career that he can't throw it deep and he also can't take the physical contact of a QB sneak up the middle on a short yardage situation. It's beautiful. It's been like that for seven years. He's attempted one QB sneak in the last seven years. He just doesn't do it. He hates contact. He hates hitting that a-hole.

Derrick Henry is not a good short-yardage back

I want to give credit a lot of credit to our own Billy football for initiating the take that Derrick Henry is not a good short yardage back... he doesn't like getting the ball up the middle... he's built like a horse, not an ox... he's all gam and no hams.

The Masters greens are so soft it looks like golfers are hitting shots into a memory foam mattress

The greens are soft. These are remarkably soft. They look like they're hitting shots into a memory foam mattress. Yes, like hitting and kind of sinking a little bit maybe rolling an inch or two.

The Masters looks better in November than in April

I think that the Masters looks better in November. I think that the course—I think that it's better as a November tournament than it has ever won... it gives the pine trees more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas.

Week 10 is 'trap week' in the NFL with tricky lines and weird games

I'm calling it right now. This is trap week. There's some tricky weird games, weird lines. Feel like we know some shit and then we're going to go away from it being like, 'What? We didn't know anything.'

Wyatt Teller is the most important lineman for the Browns

Wyatt Teller might be back... The Browns in the four games before Wyatt Teller got hurt: 204 yards per game rushing. In the three games since he got hurt: 86 yards per game. That guy's important. I always like finding out like one of the lineman is important because you feel like you have an edge that usually doesn't actually matter.

I'm hammering the Giants +3.5 against the Eagles

I don't understand why the Giants are three and a half point underdogs when it feels like the Giants play every game to a point... I'm taking the Giants. I'm hammering the Giants.

Tom Brady has 'sundowning' dementia and can't play well at night

Is there a chance Tom Brady just too old to play at night? ...another telltale sign of dementia is called sundowning where the closer that it gets to dusk the lower capacity our brain functions at... I do believe that Tom Brady battling through his dementia is better in the one o'clock time slot.