Takes

Sean McVay owes the hosts a Super Bowl suite and a ring for birthday week

Sean McVay said that he would get us a ring if the Rams win, get us a suite at the Super Bowl... I don't think he fully took off the table that we can call the first play. [PFT]: Well, he said that we could call the last play as a kneel down.

Soulja Boy had the biggest comeback in the rap industry in 2018

My who's back of the week is... Big Draco, Soulja Boy... he claimed he had the biggest comeback in 2018, which he probably did. He's got a video game console... First rapper with a console. Huge difference. He's back. He's going to have a huge 2019.

The Super Wolf Blood Moon is a sign of the apocalypse, and all hell is going to break loose on January 22nd.

Obviously these apocalyptic signs in the heavens are pointing to a catastrophic event that is just on the horizon... on January 22nd, all hell's going to break loose. If you're listening to this, we're dead.

Modern NBA players are too friendly because they all grew up together in AAU and camps

Back in my day, like, everybody was mean, dude... I think that times evolve times change... if I was playing in those last five years, I can look and see that there were 30 guys who've been to my camp that are in the NBA. They were little kids in my camp. So why wouldn't we be friends, right? ... we didn't grow up on the same AAU team in people's basketball camp.

UCLA should hire a young coach who cares about the school rather than Rick Pitino

I think for UCLA it's actually a golden opportunity for them to be smart like the Rams, right? Go get a young dude who cares... who wants to be there for a long time... [Big Cat]: Rick Pitino? [Baron Davis]: No... If you want hookers in the locker room, this is L.A. Imagine what he was doing in Louisville... We don't need Rick Pitino, man.

The best way to manage LeBron James is to challenge him to set picks and focus on team-oriented tasks

You have to challenge LeBron, right? ... finding little things in the game that could be challenging to LeBron that would ultimately dictate a better outcome... Can you set five incredible picks to get somebody open? Can you set a backdoor screen? Things off the ball that allows his teammates to like – so he's in the play but not in the play but still affecting the play.

Playing pickup basketball to 7 by ones and twos is better than playing to 14 by twos and threes because the smaller numbers create more urgency and panic.

It's the same number when you're thinking about ones and twos. It's like you're just getting closer to a smaller number. So that smaller number actually causes more panic. When it's 14, you kind of look at it as a bigger number, and the game wouldn't have the same type of intensity. The more you lower the number... then a two-pointer gets you closer to that seven.

The missed pass interference call in the Saints-Rams game was retribution for Bounty Gate.

Was that no call in the Saints game, retribution finally for Bounty Gate? I think we can say with confidence, absolutely.

Zion Williamson should drop out of Duke and secure his shoe deal to avoid injury.

There is a world where it would make sense for [Zion] to not risk a catastrophic injury and just go... He will be the number one pick no matter what, probably. So why not just go do it? And he'll make more money on his shoe deal than he will playing basketball. So don't risk that whatsoever. Just leave and get your shoe deal.

If Tom Brady wins on the road Sunday, he will tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins

If Tom Brady wins on Sunday in Kansas City, he will finally tie Mark Sanchez for road playoff wins. That is elite company. The elitist.

Patrick Mahomes has to play a perfect game for the Chiefs to win

[Mahomes] has to basically play his perfect game for the Chiefs to win, and I don't think he's going to play his perfect game... Patrick Mahomes is going to throw an interception that everyone's going to be like, what was that?

I'm taking the under 56 in the Patriots-Chiefs game

I'm going to take the under, 56... I like the under because I also think the Patriots are going to basically say, Patrick Mahomes, go ahead, beat us.

I'm picking the Patriots to beat the Chiefs in the AFC Championship Game

My pick, I'm going to take the Patriots. I'm taking them. Julian Edelman convinced me when he said, don't bet against this.

I'm taking the under in the Rams-Saints game

I also actually kind of like the under in this game [Rams-Saints] because I do think the Rams are going to run the ball, run the ball, run the ball.

The Saints are a team of destiny to win the Super Bowl in Atlanta

Saints, to me, feel like a team of destiny. The destiny word just changed me... It's the ultimate Sean Payton move to go into Atlanta and win a Super Bowl in Atlanta's hometown. Destiny, Dome, Saints.

Both Championship Sunday games cannot go over

Both these games cannot go over. It just can't happen. It's like the championship Sunday... 56-57, take the under in the first game. If it doesn't hit, take the under in the second game. If it does hit, walk away.

I'm taking the over in the Rams-Saints game

Trust me, when I say that I'm taking the over, I have absolutely zero stats or information to back me up. This is a major fuck it move. I'm just saying fuck it and I'm taking the over.

The Patriots will win at Arrowhead and the Rams will win at New Orleans

I think both games will be lower scoring than expected, and I think both road teams are winning. I think the Rams are going to go in there and pound the Saints on the ground... [and] I think [the Patriots are] winning the game. I think they're going in the Arrowhead and winning.

Todd Gurley will get many more carries than last week and run wild against the Saints

I think [Gurley] is going to get many more carries than he did a week ago, and he's going to run wild this weekend.

Marcus Peters is ripe to get beat by a double move early in the NFC Championship Game

You know what else [Marcus Peters] is ripe for early? Double move. Yeah, he's going to... because, you know, he'll try and jump it... and he'll throw the top on him.

Kyler Murray will be drafted after the 10th pick in the 2019 NFL Draft

[Kyler Murray will be drafted] After [the 10th pick]. 20th, 25, somewhere in there... I think, you know, this kid is in the same situation [as Lamar Jackson].

Blake Bortles will be a backup somewhere next season

[Blake Bortles] is gone. They're cutting him... He'll be a backup somewhere... and then get some chance to start eventually.

Kyrie Irving loses his man card for apologizing to LeBron James

Taking [Kyrie Irving's] man card because he apologized. He apologized to LeBron... and then he also told the press all about it and made sure that it was a big deal about how he called and apologized.

Naming an airport after someone is actually a terrible honor

The fact that the greatest honor is to be named after an airport sucks... Because everybody hates going there. It's the worst place to go to. And you're like, oh, great. This airport's named after you? Awesome. This sucks.

Prelated is the new word for wishing someone an early birthday

When you want to wish someone a happy early birthday, say happy prelated. Because his birthday is Saturday... People are with people whose birthdays are like the next day, next week, whatever, and you don't want to say happy early birthday.

Clemson being served fast food at the White House is awesome.

I just saw the plates full of Big Macs and Wendy's and pizza. I was like, this is fucking awesome. It looked like essentially being back in college and getting super high and being like, let's just order all the fast food. I'm fully in favor of this move.

A cold Filet-O-Fish is one of the most unappetizing things on Earth.

I can't think of too many things less appetizing than like a cold filet of fish. Yeah, excuse me, McFish. Don't put the filet of fish out there. That's a big time mistake.

Sean McVay is a healthy robot who would hate the White House fast food feast.

It's going to be tougher for McVay, for Sean McVay. He doesn't like this shit. He's a robot. He's like, give me the In-N-Out. [L.A. people] are picky.

The phrase 'mo' money, mo' problems' is dumb; more money actually solves problems.

Mo' money, mo' problems was the dumbest saying ever. I feel like if you have more money, you have less problems. Just as a general rule. Money does solve some problems. Like if you're hungry... You get a chef. Or you get McDonald's.

Always buy an extra small fry to eat in the car so you don't dip into your large fry.

Pro tip for everyone out there... if you go to McDonald's, if you go to a drive-thru, the key is to get a large fry and then get a medium or small fry for just the car. Because you don't want to dip into your large fry when you get home.

The ultimate fast food meal is a Whataburger chicken biscuit with McDonald's fries and Whataburger spicy ketchup.

You go to Whataburger and you get your honey butter chicken biscuit. But you've got to time it right at 10:30, so you drive directly from Whataburger to the McDonald's and you get the McDonald's fries... McDonald's fries are so good, but you use the Whataburger ketchup. The spicy ketchup. The better ketchup.

Colton Underwood will lose his virginity by episode 14 of The Bachelor.

I think he'll lose it by episode 14. You guys are misreading Colton. He's like Tebow. He's so dug in on his virginity... but eventually just going to fuck.

The Hulu Fyre Festival documentary is better than the Netflix one because the Netflix producers were complicit in the scam.

Hulu pulled up, pulled the alpha move and just released theirs like two or three days beforehand. And it has the actual founder of the Fyre Festival in the documentary... It will probably be better than the Netflix one because in the Hulu one, it says that the one produced by Netflix is featuring the Fuck Jerry people who were like complicit. Very, very, very complicit.

"Fuck it, let's just do it and be legends" is an awesome model for life.

We can pretend like we are scrupulous, but I would say that 'fuck it, let's just do it and be legends' is a pretty awesome model for life.

The cold weather in Kansas City favors the Chiefs over the Patriots in the AFC Championship.

My hot seat is the New England Patriots. Because it is going to be 5 to 10 degrees in Kansas City... It favors the Kansas City Chiefs. This is their home field. The Patriots, I don't know if they can do it in the cold.

Being a 'tidying expert' is a fake job.

Marie Kondo is the hottest thing going on Netflix right now. She's a tidying expert from Japan... By the way, a tidying expert, that's a fake job. Just want to let you know, Marie, I don't care that you're a millionaire. You're so good at cleaning.

Gillette is wrong to lecture men about 'toxic masculinity'.

Gillette accused men who shave of having toxic masculinity. As someone that doesn't have to shave frequently, I'm less inclined to be toxically masculine... It's a fucking razor company. The best a man can get. When do razor companies start telling us like, commenting on societal problems? Isn't that a little weird?

Fame is the least appealing part of being an actor.

Still the fame is the least appealing part of it for me. I really like coming to this city [New York] because paradoxically it's a really crowded city but you can kind of be more anonymous here.

Being a lizard guy is better than being a ferret guy.

I like the reptiles. Better than a ferret guy... I think it's the number of lizards. If it's one in a tasteful desert terrarium that's not in the kitchen, then it's fine.

It is bad luck to say 'good luck' to an actor before a performance.

One thing I will say, because you'll see actors kind of wince if you say it, you're not supposed to say good luck before a performance. That is bad luck to say good luck when you're talking to an actor.

The secret to life is being nice to everyone because you might need something from them later.

I think that's just the guide for life it's like just treat everybody nice because you never know what you're going to need from them later.

Jimmy Butler will go 'alpha' and have over 30.5 combined points, rebounds, and assists vs the Timberwolves.

I got a pick for you guys... Jimmy Butler's playing the Wolves for the first time... over 30.5 points, rebounds, and assists. He's going to do the same thing that he did in the practice. He's just going to go off. He's going to alpha the fuck out of him.

Kyrie Irving is pulling a 'LeBron' by publicly blaming his young teammates for the Celtics' struggles.

Kyrie has been very outspoken, saying that the young guys need to pick it up. They don't have what it takes to be a championship team as of now. He's pulling a LeBron on them when LeBron was the one he hated.

Duke is 'finished' because the blueprint to beat them is out.

Duke... finished. I'll tell you why. The blueprint is out on how to beat Duke, and it's twofold. One, make a 55-foot three-pointer at the end of the half... The other thing is piss your pants. Because the blueprint is to have a coach [Jim Boeheim] with a little leaky tinkly going down the front.

Adam Gase is already 'done' with the Jets after his bizarre introductory press conference.

He had maybe the weirdest, like, I don't even know what it was. His eyes were just darting everywhere. He looked like he was being held hostage. And I don't want to be a complete reactionary, knee-jerk reaction guy, but he's done. He cannot survive in the big city.

I am officially down 10 pounds in the 'Year of the Core'.

I actually am down 10 pounds. I'm still about 10 pounds away from anyone being like, 'hey, you actually look good' because I was that overweight. But I am down 10 pounds. So what up now, haters?

Bill Belichick will sign Nick Foles just to berate him for the Super Bowl loss

I actually have a theory about what's going to happen. I think Belichick's going to grab [Nick] Foles. If for nothing else, just so that he can stash him and berate him every day, being like, you son of a bitch, you beat me in the Super Bowl.

Nick Foles will sign with the Jaguars or Broncos and won't be that good

I feel like Nick Foles is destined to end up on a team like, I don't know, the Jaguars or maybe the Broncos. He feels like a Broncos quarterback up and down. And then he's just not going to be that good. And everyone's like, well, but he won a Super Bowl.

Taysom Hill will be the next Drew Brees

I am convinced now that Sean Payton will have the next Drew Brees in Taysom Hill because he had that one throw... Taysom Hill's throwing 50-yard bombs. It's not fair.

Philip Rivers is officially a choker in the playoffs

I love him, but he's a choker... 12-4, they looked good. I don't know. I don't know what to make of it. I feel sad. I'm sad for Phil Rivers, and he has eight children to go home to.