Takes

LeBron James considering a meeting with the Warriors is a savvy leverage move against the rest of the NBA

If he opens up the Warriors, it's like everyone's got to compete with that. Everyone's got to basically be like, 'yeah, LeBron, we'll go get every free agent you want'... So he just got instant leverage over everyone, which he already had, but now it's even more.

Tom Brady kissing his son on the mouth was way too much

Tom Brady kisses his son on the mouth. And when, like, I mean kiss on the mouth, it's like pretty, pretty, pretty kiss. ... This was too much.

Alex Smith is the most Redskins quarterback of all time

Alex Smith is the most Redskins quarterback of all time. He hasn't played a snap, but he is the perfect R-Words quarterback. He is a watercolor version of Brad Johnson. He is more John Beck than John Beck is. He is like Colt McCoy on the world's worst steroids.

Jay Cutler is now the top prize in the NFL quarterback free agent market

Basically every NFL team, because guess who is now the bell of the ball? Mr. Jay Cutler. Because everyone's getting their franchise quarterbacks. Jacksonville got theirs. Washington got theirs. Who's going to get Jay Cutler?

Robert Griffin III is to blame for the Redskins' current quarterback predicament

If Robert Griffin had done a better job mentoring Kirk Cousins, then they would never have wanted to let Kirk go, and they would have extended him already, and they wouldn't be stuck in this position.

To beat the Patriots, the quarterback needs to look like a mouth-breathing moron

To beat the Patriots, you have to look like a mouth-breathing moron. Eli Manning, he has put the book out on how to beat the Patriots. Nick Foles had that going when he had the weird glasses. Then he cleaned up, and you're like, this guy actually looks not bad.

The Pistons will be the best mediocre team in the NBA following the Blake Griffin trade

The Pistons are basically like, we are going to be the best mediocre team in the NBA. Drummond and Blake are not going to play defense. We're going to give you the five seed for the next ten years of your career in the East, and then you're going to lose to the Celtics and the Cavs.

Nebraska is back because Scott Frost is hospitalizing players with Rabdo

Nebraska is back. Nebraska is back in a very, very big way. Scott Frost just implemented his conditioning program at Nebraska. And he got two players were hospitalized... with Rabdo, which means they're building up some muscles out there. That's a culture change.

The Rockets can take down the Warriors if they stay hot and the Celtics steal one on the road

I am officially saying, as of this date, January 31st, I'm a believer that the Rockets, if they get hot for a couple games... Hank was explaining how the Celtics can beat the Warriors in the NBA Finals... you just win two games and then you just get lucky for two games... I'm a believer if they get hot at the right time, they're going to take down the Warriors.

The NFL needs more players who are 'sensitive' and can't take a joke

I like – I think the NFL needs more of that... like, nobody likes sensitive people. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you can't make fun of somebody.

Being the number one overall pick is a psychological burden for a young player

Being the number one pick, the, the, the weight I carried around, the expectations... I walked around with it everywhere I went... it kind of, you know, a little bit, yeah, it kind of took, you know, kind of digging myself that hole.

Stability is much harder for a young quarterback when playing for a defensive head coach

As a quarterback, that's the big difference, I think, between playing for a defensive head coach and an offensive head coach. As a defensive head coach, as great as it can be, you're still constantly – if you do well, your coordinator's leaving. And so the stability is always in question there.

Rain is the worst weather for a quarterback, even worse than snow

Rain's the worst. Like dumping rain. Like if it were 40 degrees and raining and windy, that's the worst. I'll take snow over rain. Snow's actually fun.

Mitchell Trubisky is going to light it up in the NFL under Matt Nagy

Matt [Nagy] is killer. I mean, I think Mitchell Trubisky's going to light it up. I think he's going to love it. I think they're going to do a bunch, put him in great situations. A lot of RPOs. I think he's a decent athlete, right? Do some fun stuff with him. Oh, yeah. We're going to have fun.

There is legitimate truth to the reported friction between Bill Belichick, Robert Kraft, and Tom Brady

Oh, there's definitely something true there. Just a little something there. Absolutely. There's something there. And I think there's always been something there from day one. I think it starts from all of them... when you have egos... it makes you dominate. It makes you want more.

Bill Belichick will coach the Patriots for at least three more years

Bill will coach the Patriots. I think at least three. Three to four.

Tom Brady will play at least two more seasons after this one

And I think Tom's going to play another two after this. I think he kind of has to based on the moves they've made.

Matt Patricia has the ideal head coaching job among recent Patriots departures

Patricia's got the ideal job, I think, out of any of them. They got a franchise quarterback. So, the offense is already taken care of. You go in there, you fix the defense. Now, all of a sudden, you got a competitive game because the Bears stink.

Aaron Rodgers is a better 'tools' quarterback than Tom Brady

Technically speaking, Aaron Rodgers is a better quarterback. I agree with that. If you're talking about the tools, Aaron Rodgers' arm is off the charts and his ability to move is off the charts. That's just a fact. If you're starting a football team, your better chance is to take Rodgers and build around him because of his pure, raw physical talent.

The Patriots will beat the Eagles by 14 to 17 points in the Super Bowl

I got them by 14 to 17. Finally, we will get a Patriot Super Bowl in the fourth quarter to where I can kick back, relax, and start looking for a location of the post-game party.

Kevin Love is faking his broken hand just like he faked his mysterious flu

I think Kevin Love is actually better at defense with a broken hand. Why do you have to sit out with a broken hand?... He essentially has the flu for his hand right now, and he's milking it. Yeah, I'd say that you're just hurt.

Supporting the Chief Wahoo logo is actually anti-military because it represents stolen valor

Take a good look at Chief Wahoo because Chief Wahoo has one feather in his cap, right? And he's going around by Chief. This is stolen valor... that I word, is stealing valor from proper Chiefs. So if you support Chief Wahoo, then in reality, you're actually anti-military.

Josh Allen's low college completion percentage was only because his receivers weren't good enough

His completion percentage was only so low in college because the receivers aren't good enough. So you get him with a better receiver that can make spectacular diving, one-handed catches of balls that shouldn't be physically possible to catch, and you see that take up to like 57%, 58%. So I think he's going to be okay.

The NHL is a money laundering operation for Russia

If you were to run the NHL as a money laundering operation, you would not do anything differently than Gary Bettman has done in the last 10 years... I'm guessing it's some sort of a money laundering scheme from Russia. That's the only thing I can come up with.

Tiger Woods will win at least one more Masters

We're now getting the Tiger Woods is going to win at least one more Masters takes. So I think that that means Tiger is like all the way back. When people are actually debating how many more Masters or, you know, championships you're going to win, I think that's exactly where Tiger is back.

Fortnite is the hottest game in the streets and is curing kids' depression

Fortnite, the hottest game in the streets. It's free... You're hearing stories about these kids who finally win a game or two of Fortnite, and their whole lives they get cured from depression.

George W. Bush is the Josh Allen of presidents

George W. Bush... America loves the guy now. He is back in a bit. He's got he's the Josh Allen of presidents. The longer he goes without playing well, the better he becomes. And the more he goes up people's big boards.

Rob Gronkowski is arguably the greatest tight end of all time

87 to me was like I had no idea how good he was. I knew he was one of the greatest of all time, but that guy is probably just as easily separating himself from the competition with tight ends throughout the history of our league as 12 is [at quarterback]. So, I mean, that dude is unreal.

I will not visit the White House if the Eagles win the Super Bowl

If you guys win the Super Bowl, are you going to the White House? No. Is that a no? No, I'm not going to the White House. Are you kidding me?

Doug Peterson is a quarterback whisperer and the real reason Carson Wentz was successful

I think that Carson Wentz is not as good as people think he is. And it's actually Doug Peterson is a QB whisperer. Because he's had enough time now, and Nick Foles looked... He was doing everything that Carson Wentz had done earlier in the year in that game against the Vikings. And I think it's not an aberration.

The Super Bowl National Anthem will go over two minutes

So I'm taking the over [on the national anthem] just because you don't want to root for the under in the national anthem. That's pretty much treason, right?

The Super Bowl Gatorade bath color will be yellow or there won't be one at all

I would go in and know Gatorade because I don't think Bill Belichick has the time for a Gatorade bath... If the Eagles win, I think they're going yellow.

Tom Brady will rush for more than 3.5 yards in the Super Bowl

Brady rushing yards over three and a half. Smash the over. Why? If he has like two QB sneaks, you know they always run that play on third down. That'll be two yards. If he just sees one little opening... Four yards, boom.

Tom Brady will have under 3.5 rushing yards in the Super Bowl

I am so going on the under on that bet. I cannot [take the over]... you could lose those yards at the end [on a kneel].

The Cleveland Cavaliers are pretending to be in a crisis just to troll the media

I actually do think they're joking, but they're at the point where they're pretending to cause controversy and... kind of like doing like the fake news award... so that they can then turn it around and be like, no, we were joking. See how you guys misconstrue everything.

The Cleveland Cavaliers care more about what the media says than practicing

I actually think that the Cleveland Cavaliers spend more time reading Twitter than practicing... they care that much about what the media is saying that they've gone overboard.

Roger Federer is the undisputed GOAT of tennis

Roger Federer, now the GOAT. His 20th [Major].

The new XFL is probably going to suck

I'll give you – it's going to suck. We all agree, right? It's probably going to suck. It's going to be shitty football. The problem with... The XFL is this weird thing.

The XFL will force the NFL to adapt and implement things that make the NFL better

But here's what it will do, is it's going to force the NFL to actually implement some things that make the NFL better. Because like Skycam, the XFL is going to do one or two things right, and the NFL is going to have to adapt and implement those things.

Jerry Jones may have helped fund the XFL to screw over Roger Goodell

So it wouldn't shock me if Mr. Shadow Commissioner Jerry Jones maybe helped to fund the start of the NFL, gave him some of the seed money just to fuck Roger Goodell over.

Players should be able to fight one fan per year

I would like to see them implement my longstanding idea that players should be able to fight fans. One fight a year. You get to fight any fan that mouths off to you. You get to go in there and beat their fucking ass. And if you lose that fight, you have to give your salary to the fan.

The XFL should be 7-on-7 football to allow teams to air the ball out more.

I also, in a real, like, honest rule, I think they should do seven on seven. Let them just fucking air the ball out.

If the XFL signs Tim Tebow and Johnny Manziel, ESPN will be forced to cover the league despite their NFL partnership.

if you have Tim Tebow and Johnny Manziel in the same league, ESPN, they're going to be like one of those rats that's addicted to cocaine that keeps shocking themselves but keeps going back. They're not going to be able to resist talking about Tim Tebow.

Josh Allen will be out of the NFL by 2020

My number one overall pick in the XFL draft is Josh Allen. Quarterback Wyoming... And he won't be in the league [NFL] by 2020.

Not televising the NBA All-Star draft was the dumbest move the league has ever made.

The NBA did their all-star draft, and they didn't televise it, which was the dumbest move the NBA's ever had.

Team LeBron is much better than Team Steph for the All-Star game

Team LeBron is way better than Team Steph. Yes. Yeah, this should be a blowout. I don't understand what Steph was doing, too.

Aaron Rodgers is the hardest quarterback to play against regardless of his receivers

If you got Aaron Rodgers throwing to you, I don't care what the last name on the back of the receiver's jersey is, Aaron is going to put the ball in places I can't get it. He's going to throw his out routes out of bounds. He's going to throw his fade routes at the back of my head.

I would be perfect in today's NFL because of the rule changes

Oh, I would love it. It would basically fit me perfect. I was a true cover guy... when you're playing in the NFL, hitting somebody, really crushing them is a sin. So I'm perfect in this NFL. I'm going to go out here and I'm going to intercept balls and I'm going to play football.

NFL players could successfully perform on a plant-based diet

Absolutely. I think it would really help them. I think it'll transform them back to their rookie second season, third season type feel. And, you know, we're always looking for edge. And anytime you can attain more energy, or perform at the same level as you did in the first quarter, as you do in the fourth quarter, I think guys would really benefit from it.

The 'Greatest Show on Turf' Rams would easily average 42 to 45 points per game in the modern NFL.

If we played in the same rules, I mean, we could easily score 42, 45 points a game this day and time.