Takes

NFL touchbacks will increase as the season goes on under the new kickoff rule

I think you'll probably see, I think as the season goes on, probably more touchbacks. I think that we'll see... what the 30 yard line does on the touchback. If it keeps the kickoff alive and it keeps guys in the game, I think there will be more returns, but eventually you'll see more touchbacks.

The secret to surviving a bear attack while hiking is simply being faster than your wife

my wife Jen and I going hike and she's like, 'well I saw on Instagram they get bears out there now.' And I'm like, 'babe, I don't have to be faster than the bear. I just have to be faster than you.' It's not that hard to understand.

The NBA is better for basketball fans when the Knicks are doing well

it's better for basketball if the Knicks are doing well, it's better for basketball. Same with hockey. If the Rangers go well. Brunson is out. Amazing. And I met him at a game and he's such a nice guy.

Most people are full of shit and lie just to make themselves seem more interesting

I think everybody's lying to you... just think that everybody's full of shit. And most people are. I mean, you a lot of times you go and you start talking to people. If they're at a party, people start bragging... they're already lying because you're trying to be entertaining, you're trying to sound interesting. So a lot of things that people are saying to you are gonna be false.

There is a unique thrill and rush to sneaking into places without paying

It's a absolutely. You have a rush. There's something about it. There's something about not paying for something and getting away with it. And you gotta see something. That was amazing seeing Game seven of the Stanley Cup. I met Jordan at his double nickel game.

The Home Run Derby is officially dead

The Home Run Derby is officially dead. And here's why... the Home Run Derby has lost its luster. The Juice Ball Home Run Derby. The way the format was set, the Home Run Derby is dead because all it took was one horrific national anthem to steal the night.

The MLB should allow players suspended for steroids back early if they win the Home Run Derby

Our idea that we had last year was one of the best, which is if you test positive for steroids, you can get out of your suspension by winning the Home Run Derby.

Tarik Skubal will win the AL Cy Young

Tarik Skubal is not starting [the All-Star Game]. And he is going to be the AL Cy Young as that guy sent me the envelope... per the guy who gave me the envelope that said bet him right now. He is the odds-on favorite right now.

Alex Ovechkin being ranked 54th on ESPN's Top 100 Athletes list is disrespectful to hockey

That Ovy [Alex Ovechkin] is so far down. Like Hank said, it's disrespectful to hockey, it's disrespectful to the entire country of Russia. The man is about to surpass Wayne Gretzky for the top goal scorer of all time in the NHL.

ESPN will rank Serena Williams as the #1 athlete of the 21st century

I have a prediction. I think ESPN is going to put Serena [Williams] number one. Just to make people mad.

The world would be better if George W. Bush had become Commissioner of Major League Baseball.

If George W. Bush had become commissioner of Major League baseball, the world would be so much better. Baseball would be so much better. Say what you want about the man, the fucking All-Star game's not ending in a tie with George W. Bush.

Bronny James is not currently a professional-level basketball player.

The way that he said, 'I don't think Bronny's a pro' isn't that bad for [Jalen Brown] because it's also not wrong. He's not a pro. Which is probably an accurate [statement].

LeBron James only brought Bronny into the NBA to bolster his GOAT case against Michael Jordan

Some people could argue that LeBron, when he realized that he wasn't going to win six titles and match MJ, he's like, 'what else can I try to get that will, they'll say in my GOAT conversation' and having Bronny—playing with Bronny—will be there. MJ's son never played in the league.

Human beings just become worms after they die

I think what happens after you die is you get eaten by worms. We all just become worms.

Stephen A. Smith officially won the Skip Bayless divorce

Stephen A. Smith has won the Skip Bayless-Stephen A. Smith divorce. It took a few years to get there... Skip is out at Fox Sports I believe at the end of the summer... he goes off, does his own podcast, gets 5 trillion views on it. Works for ESPN, seems to be having a good time.

The Big 10 and SEC are likely to add Florida State once the ACC officially dissolves.

If Clemson and Florida State leave the ACC, they're not gonna survive. So the Big 10 and SEC basically are saying we don't want 'em unless the ACC is gone. Which if they leave, they'll be gone. In which case we want 'em.

Seasons three through eight of The Simpsons are the best television ever made.

I think Seasons three through eight on The Simpsons are the best TV ever made.

I expect to finish in the top 10 of the American Century Championship golf tournament.

Expectation top 10. That's expectation I've got. I've gotten better every year. Top 20 last year... hopefully top 10 and then try and, you know, if you got a chance on the last day, go and win it.

Jameis Winston is a great player who doesn't get enough credit for how good he is.

The one thing I love about Jameis is he doesn't get enough credit for just how good of a player he is. Because he is hilarious, he's a funny teammate, he has all the sound bites... but he's a great player.

My brother David Carr is way more talented than I am.

I go back and I'm like, dude, like [David Carr] is way more talented than I am. He's 240, you know, runs a 4.6, throws the ball 85 yards. Like genius smart... he never felt football like [New York] since college. Of course you think, man, what if he was in a different situation?

Antonio Brown is the hardest practicing player I've ever seen in my life.

I loved AB. He is the hardest practicing player I've ever seen in my life. He practices hard. He competes at just a different level. And you know, hopefully he's a hall of famer. As a player, he's insane.

Taysom Hill is a Hall of Fame football player

Taysom Hill is the best football player I've ever played with... that man is a Hall of Fame football player. He does everything. Throws, runs, catches, fullback, quarterback, tight end, receiver, slots, punts, blocks, punts, personal protector.

I make up fake stories to motivate myself like Michael Jordan did.

My caddy who was my best friend, he is like, 'you're a psychopath.' Because like, I'll make stories up. I see Jordan do that. He's like, I make stories up. Like yeah, they thought I couldn't do this... those are two plays... that fuel you.

The Open Championship is essentially a 'Snow Game' in football terms

The open is a snow game. There's just so much unpredictability involved in a snow game. Maybe you can throw the ball, maybe you gotta run it. You don't know if you can depend on your kicker at all. That's what I look at here.

Adam Scott will win the 2024 Open Championship

I'm going to Adam Scott. He played well last week... He's 44 years old finishing in the top 10. Hasn't finished in the top 10 in a major since 2019. But I feel like he's one of those guys... I feel like Adam is playing well.

Jalen Brunson taking a massive pay cut is the coolest move possible for a fan

Pretty much the coolest move you can do if you're a fan of the Knicks. I don't think players, I think players should get what they're worth, but I wouldn't complain if our were Knicks fan right now that he just left 113 million on the table to make his team better and hope and deliver a championship to the Knicks.

England soccer is never going to 'come home'

It's not coming home. Not coming home. It's never gonna come home. It left, it walked out the door. You got empty Nest syndrome. It's not coming back. England soccer is just, it's gotta be brutal to root for.

I mistakenly believed tornadoes do not hit big cities just to make myself feel better

You gotta worry about the tornado—tornadoes don't hit cities though. That's good. Like big cities... False tornadoes can hit anywhere at any time. Okay. I, I just made that up. I completely made it up. Okay. But... That was something I just told myself to make myself feel better.

Dan Campbell would be a successful head coach for the US Men's National Soccer Team

Number four. I think Dan Campbell could do it actually. Absolutely. 'Cause what we need is we need passion out of our players. I think Dan Campbell will figure soccer out.

I will not celebrate a Team USA gold medal if the semi-final or final games are within 10 points

I'm gonna say right now I will not, I'm not okay with just a gold medal. I want domination. I want utter domination... I will not be celebrating a gold medal if we win the semi-finals—if the semi-finals or the finals games are within 10 points. Either of them. I will not be celebrating this gold medal.

I want to see the US Men's Basketball team dominate the Olympics like the 1992 Dream Team

I want to see domination. Like the original dream team. That's the statement. Where you don't use a timeout at all. Just mow them down.

Offsides should be removed from soccer

Offsides should be taken out of soccer. There should be no offsides.

MVP Baseball 2005 is the greatest baseball game ever created

MVP Baseball 2005 was the greatest baseball player—was MVP Baseball? Yeah. The greatest baseball game. I think '04 as well was very good... those two versions were so, so elite.

My brief stint with the Rams saved my NFL career

Going to LA just for that like last five games of the year was so unbelievable for me. Like getting a fresh start... it brought the fun back and like, that's when I'm having fun, talking trash, enjoying it. Like that's when I'm at my best and yeah. I, I needed that.

Mike Evans is a top 5 receiver of all time if he plays a few more years

If he plays three, four more years the way he's been playing, he's a top five receiver of all time. No he is... he's had 10 seasons in a row of a thousand yards. And he's the consistent one. Right. And like he doesn't get that recognition.

I saw a bright circle UFO in Austin, Texas

Literally like, we got the, the screen on the car's real bright... Emily's in the passenger seat. She's looking at her phone, this like, like circle shape object. Like bright as hell. Literally just goes from right here and goes straight down. She was looking at her phone... it was so bright that she looked up and saw it too and it just like disappeared. Like completely disappeared.

Adam Schefter is one of the few media members you can actually trust with off-the-record information

Adam and I actually are close... he's one of the media members you can actually trust that if it's off the record, it's not going anywhere. Like he actually will keep it close to the vest.

USA soccer is back and will win a World Cup now that Gregg Berhalter is fired

Greg Berhalter has been fired yet again. We did it guys. Congratulations. USA soccer is back on the map. We're so back now. We're gonna win a World Cup.

The USMNT will never be great until the players care enough to fight fans in the stands

The United States will never be great at soccer until our players care enough to go into the stands and fight people from other countries. It just means more. That somehow a Malice at the Palace situation... these guys just fucking care about soccer.

Nike is likely behind Jaylen Brown and Kyrie Irving being left off Team USA

And I do think there is probably some truth to the Nike thing where Kyrie is also, you know, if [Jaylen Brown's] a snub, Kyrie's a snub... They're both very outspoken against Nike. Coincidence? Probably not.

Kyrie Irving and Jaylen Brown are clearly better basketball players than Derrick White

Obviously Derrick White's a great player... but if we're talking on pure talent, Kyrie and [Jaylen Brown] are better than Derrick White.

The EA Sports College Football 25 release will change how everyone deals with the summer

Ea Sports College football's out [next week]... It's the most anticipated video game I think release ever. It's gonna change how summer's dealt with.

The Pirates should have let Paul Skenes try to finish his no-hitter despite the pitch count

Paul Skeens threw a no hitter through seven innings... 99 [pitches]. Took him out before he got to a hundred. I get it. But also, fuck that... put 'em out there for the eighth inning. See if he can get out of it in 10 pitches.

Taking $30,000 is better than playing one week in the MLB

Would you rather get handed 30 K right now or play a week in the big leagues? 30 k all day... If you put me on an MLB team for a week, I think it'd be the most miserable week of your life. Every single play just being a disaster for you.

It is almost impossible to get a bad version of a BLT

I'll go with BLT. Classic. Never fails. Some of these sandwiches, you can get bad versions of them. It's almost impossible to get a bad version of A BLT.

A Chicken Club sandwich is much better than a Turkey Club

I'm gonna go with chicken club. Much better than a Turkey club. Oh, much better.

The Banh Mi is the best sandwich in the world

I'm gonna go with it Bon me [Banh Mi] the Vietnamese sandwich. It's so, fuck. I, I think it's rated as like the best sandwich in the world. I read that a couple places... It's awesome. Yeah. It's, I would say it's worthy of a first round grade.

Pimento cheese is an overrated sandwich filling

I think pimento cheese is overrated... The problem with pimento cheese is there's absolutely no crunch or hard factor in there. It's just soft. Just soft.

Josh Allen will finish in the 30s at the American Century Championship

I think I gave you [Josh Allen] in the thirties. [Josh: That means I'm probably shooting anywhere from 75 to 80 all three days.]

I would retire from football if it guaranteed the Bills a Super Bowl win

If that's what it took, I would do it. [Big Cat: You guarantee it?] I would do it. I feel like I would have a part whether I played or not.