Takes

The Saints should stop scaling back Jameis Winston and just let him throw picks and be free

It's almost difficult for me to watch him play now because he's, he's not really playing his brand of football. Like it's so tame and almost like they've scaled it back so much for him... try to make him, you know, Drew Brees like that, it's not really who he is. We gotta let James free. We gotta let him spread his wings. We don't need 30 picks in a year. But like Jameis, like 15 picks is okay, because he's going to throw the ball down the field and make plays.

Joe Burrow is a top-three quarterback in the NFL

Joe burrow like makes it look very, very easy, but that dude throws it down the field. Like he's not one of, a lot of these new age quarterbacks is like efficiency and we're throwing the five yard passes... Joe burrow to me is a guy wanted to hate, but absolutely love watching play. I'd say he is in my top three. Ooh.

Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL

For me, and the reason that some of these guys really bug me and the reason that I love a guy like Josh Allen... this is the reason that I think Josh Allen is the best quarterback in the NFL... we've got the talent. He's also the dude that sits in the locker room and he's just a dude. He can just be the Carson Palmer for me when I was young... if the leader of your football team can do that and is that human being, then it just resonates with everybody and sets a tone in the building.

Justin Herbert is a leader by talent, but he is not a vocal leader and won't be giving pregame speeches.

Justin Herbert is the leader of that team because of his talent. But he is not a vocal leader. He, he can have people follow him by the way that he plays. But he's not the leader in that locker room in terms of the way that he presents himself or talks or, you know, he's not gonna get up and give a speech before a game. And even if he did, like, that's not him.

I used to dislike Derek Carr for a long time, but he is slowly moving into the category of quarterbacks I like.

Car's actually a guy that is slowly moving in the right direction for me that I dislike for a long time really to like, yeah.

Locker room culture and the human element still trump analytics and numbers in football

Does that human element still trump everything else when it comes to numbers? ... let down games or the team that has no chance. Everyone wrote 'em off, but they're able to do something like the locker room and how it comes together. Is that, would you say that's more important than, you know, numbers and all these like, Hey, when should we go on fourth down and everything?

Tom Brady has zero respect for me and has refused to shake my hand after games

I've told this story before, but he just pisses me off because you're in Buffalo... and we finally in 2011 knocked him off... and he threw five interceptions in the game... run straight off. Like no handshake, no, you know, quarterback middle of the field... just ran straight off. So it just, it bothered me so much because there was no respect there. And so I was like, every time I played him, after that, I was like, all right, like I at least got like, let's make this dude respect me.

I believe that Queen Elizabeth is in heaven and I definitely believe in hell

[Big Cat]: Do you think Queen Elizabeth is in heaven? [Goff]: I hope so. [Big Cat]: Follow up. I know this is part of the first question. Do you believe in hell? [Goff]: Oh yeah.

There is an 85% chance you will end up married to your ex if you go to a concert with them.

I've watched enough romcoms and gotten all my relationship advice from Judd app house, if you go to this concert, there's like a, I'd say 85% chance you guys get married. So that's just, what's gonna happen. You're gonna rekindle in the backdrop of a beautiful concert and boom, you're married. Maybe even have a kid.

Mike McCarthy is trying to get fired so Jerry Jones can hire Sean Payton

I think [McCarthy] has been trying to get fired for a while now. And he's doing everything that you would do if you were a coach trying to get fired, knowing that Jerry Jones is just gonna hire Sean Payton probably already has a handshake deal.

The Patriots are no longer a perennial Super Bowl favorite

I'm think I'm just ready to fully admit that the Patriots are not the Patriots anymore. Yeah. They're not the Patriots that I grew up since I was nine years old... If the Patriots make the playoffs, that's a winning season.

Jahan Dotson is a good bet for NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year

The past the passes to Johan Dotson were awesome. And Johan Dotson is I'm. I would put a future on him to get rookie of the year.

I will get shot in the ass with a bow and arrow if the Bears win the Super Bowl

I also will get shot in the ass. If the bears were the Superbowl this year, I'll let Jake shoot me with a bone arrow.

Carson Wentz is elite at flailing his body to draw late hit penalties

He is really, really top tier in the NFL... at flailing his body when he gets hit a little bit late in the pocket. He'll flip over like 180 degrees onto his side if you just so much as breath on him... I think Carson Wentz is gonna draw every possible flag on a late hit.

The Lions are good enough to lose to any team in the NFL by exactly three points

This Lions team is good enough to lose to any team in the NFL by three points. And I mean any team... I think they would lose, they should lose to every team by exactly three points, no give or take on that one.

Patrick Mahomes is the best physical quarterback in NFL history

I think we talked to Jules about that. It's like, wait, we haven't really said his name at all and he's probably the best quarterback physically in the history of the NFL.

The Chargers are legitimate Super Bowl contenders

I'm officially now here. Ready to say I'm taking the chargers very much for real, as a team that can win the super bowl. They looked awesome. Their defense looked awesome.

Derek Carr has the worst internal clock and is the most sackable QB in the league

I think he's the most sackable quarterback in the league right now... Derek Carr, the more time he has, the more dangerous it gets for Derek Carr. He's like, oh, I have all this time. I'm gonna do something really fucked up. Really stupid.

The Packers franchise is crumbling

Aaron Rogers hates his wide receivers. He hates them... I'm living in the moment and this moment is very fun. The bears are, want to know the Packers are on one and that franchise is crumbling.

Kirk Cousins has been 'activated' by Kevin O'Connell's new offense

I think cousins has been activated... Kirk cousins this year has the glowing red eyes. He's ready to go. He's ready to take off.

Texas is 'back' because their defense is finally legitimate

I'm counting Texas as back because their defense played better than they've played in, I don't know, 15 years. I can't even remember the last time that defense was 100% legit. It was awesome.

The Sun Belt is the best conference in sports

The Sunbelt is the best conference in America. Yep. Sunbelt east... Best conference in sports.

UNC is the most fun team to watch in college football

I think UNC might be the greatest team to watch in college football. There's so I feel like it's just gonna, you wanna talk about maximum chaos? I feel like that's gonna be UNC every single weekend.

Josh Allen is better prepared than other QBs because he actually plays in the preseason

The bills played in the preseason... you saw Josh Allen go out and lead his team to touchdown drives every time he was out there, he looked very comfortable. Comfortable game looks slowed him. And that's because he is prepared.

The Raiders will win the AFC West

Raiders are winning the AFC West. I'm a believer in the ecosystem that they have over there. I think Derek Carr is, I think he's a good football player. Last year they showed a lot of mental toughness... with McDaniels and Devante Adams going over there... they were smooth.

The Patriots' offense will have a learning curve with Matt Patricia and Joe Judge calling plays

This is gonna be a learning experience. Calling plays on the offense side of the ball is, is very different... the rhythm of play calling and the relationship between the quarterback and play call is a fucking, that's like a skill... it hasn't looked very good in the pre-season I'm not gonna lie. [Mac Jones] just doesn't look comfortable back there.

The Vikings will win the NFC North

I like Minnesota winning the north. Kevin O'Connell... always a smart guy, always knew Xs and Os. I like, I like, I liked them. I think Jefferson is, is outrageous. Outrageous.

The Rams will struggle this year; the Super Bowl hangover is real

I think the Rams are gonna struggle. I think, I think the hangover's real. And something's up with Stafford's elbow. The elbow did not—that doesn't look good. It looks jelly.

The Bills will win the Super Bowl over the Buccaneers

Bills versus the Bucks, but the Bills are gonna win. Bills are winning it... If they stay healthy, they're gonna be a problem.

The Chiefs' offense will be condensed and struggle more without Tyreek Hill

It's gonna be interesting to see them without Tyreek Hill... [Hill] opens up the field in so many different ways with that speed... When you lose that, it condenses the offense... I want to see if [Mahomes] got better at those things [throwing inside the pocket], because you're gonna have to do that. He's gonna have to have these long methodical drives.

The 2022 picks punishment should be the loser having to beat Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's all-time scoring record

Loser has to beat Kareem's all time point record. So we just put 'em in a gym and they have to score 38,388 points... You can't, you can't shoot in the paint. Oh fuck. So you can't take layups and the second place person has to rebound.

The 2022 picks punishment should be the loser has to complete a half marathon with no training

I might retract my veto on the marathon because it's not as bad as some of the other ones. Right? And I think it would be pretty funny to have to go to the Super Bowl and run a marathon with no training... [I am] now bowling kind of endorsing it.

The Giants are 'big stinky poop' and will lose to the Titans

Titans minus five and a half at home against the Giants. I think the Giants are big stinky poop... I think that the Titans, we have a bad taste in their mouth from them from last year in the playoffs... Ryan Tannehill is good enough to beat the Giants who I think are gonna be very bad this year by six points at home.

The Broncos will cover -6.5 against the Seahawks in Russell Wilson's revenge game

My favorite is the Broncos minus six and a half Monday night football. I just, I feel like Russ is gonna, like, I know that obviously every game he tries, but I, this is gonna be a game that he's like, Hey Nathaniel Hackett, like, can you please showcase me throwing it deep constantly to prove what they're missing.

Baker Mayfield is ready to beat the Browns in a revenge game

Mine is also a revenge game. It is Carolina minus one and a half against the Browns. Baker is ready. We all know Baker, so we don't know what to expect... Baker is the one guy that I will probably always bet on in a revenge game because he does take it way more seriously.

The Bears will be frisky and cover +7 against the 49ers

I'm just gonna take the biggest [underdog]. The Bears. Seven points week one is a lot... There's a lot of turmoil in San Francisco. Trey Lance, Jimmy G you don't know what's going on... Seven points is the lot in the NFL.

The Cardinals are a must-bet in the month of September

I'm gonna change my underdog to the Cardinals. Cause I did tell you all off season. I have to bet the Cardinals in September... I have the reminder again today. So I'm gonna in that game, we didn't talk about Cardinal's Chiefs is gonna be a very fun afternoon game.

I may be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life due to a lone star tick bite

Turns out I must have stepped on a lone star tick nest... and I got bitten by a bunch of lone star tick larva... which the good news is the larva don't transmit Lyme's... but they can give you an Alpha-gal allergy. That means that Alpha-gal is in all red meat and dairy and I, I might be allergic to red meat and dairy for the rest of my life. I had to go vegan for a month before I get the test... I contracted veganism.

I will watch the in-season Hard Knocks in April because I already have in-season football content now

I'll probably watch the in season Hard Knocks in like maybe April after the NCAA tournament. That's when I'll go back and I'll rewatch the football content. But now like I have in season Hard Knocks already, it's called NFL football.

Serena Williams will play in a tennis tournament again despite her 'retirement'

She will play again... I should try to get a bet on the Barstool Sportsbook. Will Serena ever play in a tournament again? Cuz I feel like you win a lot of money.

Coach Orgeron is the most well-adjusted human being out of all major college coaches

I think Coach O is actually the most well-adjusted human being out of all the major college coaches. Most normal people, you give anybody 20 million and you don't have to work again, that's the goal. That is actually a very well adjusted outlook on life, unlike just about every other head coach out there.

Dabo Swinney would be a serial killer or a Scientology leader if not for football

If it weren't for football, like Dabo Swinney would be a serial killer. Like he's, he's unhinged. He's an unhinged human being. He's not a well-adjusted human being... He probably would take over for David Miscavige and just be the next fucking Scientology guy.

Brian Kelly already regrets moving to LSU

You can see the look in his eye. He's already thinking to himself, like I fucked up, I made the wrong decision. I don't know what I'm doing down here.

Billy Napier will succeed at Florida while Brian Kelly bottoms out at LSU

I'm rooting for Florida to win a national title and LSU to bottom out... Everyone look around and be like, 'Wait, what? That guy [Napier] was in the state of Louisiana and we had to go get the shiny object [Kelly] because he won a bunch of games at Notre Dame.' I'm rooting against Brian Kelly.

Fred Taylor belongs in the Hall of Fame

It's Fred Taylor time. I think Fred has a legitimate chance to get in... if you ask the players like Derek Brooks and Ray Lewis, they all think he should be in. It's definitely Fred Taylor time.

The Bengals are the best team in the AFC North

The Bengals... they're definitely in the mix. I think they're the best team in that division... The offensive line is gonna be better. I mean, that kid [Burrow] got brutalized last year. He got sacked and hit and they still put up points... they're gonna be much better.

The Denver Broncos will be the most disappointing team in the AFC in 2022

The Broncos will be the most disappointing team I'm and, and it's not because of Russell Wilson... I think their offensive line has issues and, and they have a couple other issues on defense.

The Houston Texans will be better than people expect in 2022

I'll give you a team. That's gonna be a little bit better than everybody thinks. They'll be the Texans... I'm a big Davis Mills guy... I think the Texans are gonna, they're not gonna win 10 games, but they're gonna be better than you think they are.

The Packers will win the NFC behind a dominant defense

The Packers are gonna win it [the NFC] in my mind. And not because of their offense this time around, I think their defense is a chance to be nasty. I mean that secondary might be the... best secondary in the league... Rogers will get it going. So they're gonna be really good.

The Saints will win the NFC South

I think new Orleans is gonna be way better than people [expect]... In fact, I think they win the division. I don't think the Bucs win the division... that defense my gosh, across the board, they have so much talent on defense everywhere.