Takes

My best NBA games were played while high

My best games in the NBA were high... After [shootaround] I would go home, I'd smoke a joint, then I would take a nap. And then I'd wake up, shower, eat, and bounce... It was probably within four or five hours of the game possibly.

Baron Davis would be one of the all-time greats if he had stayed healthy

Best all-around point guard I ever played with, Baron Davis. When he's healthy, no question. If Baron Davis would have had a healthy career, he'd be talked about as one of the greats. There's no question about that.

Kevin Durant is the best player in the world

Kevin Durant to me is the best player in the world right now and will probably go down as one of the most efficient, effective offensive players we've ever seen.

Damian Lillard has a 'winner's face'

He's got a winner's chin. Have you ever seen that thing? If I'm doing the old school facial recognition, like this guy's a winner, this guy's not, Damian Lillard, he's got a winner's face.

I would want Robert Horry taking a last-second shot over Kobe Bryant

[Big Cat asks: Who would you rather have taking that last shot?] Robert. Robert, yeah, Big Shot Bob. Big Shot Bob. There was never any doubt at the end of the game. He could have three points that game, and he had the ball, he was going to make it.

Jason Kidd is a bad coach

I don't understand what the Lakers are doing. Their obsession with Jason Kidd is very bizarre. Jason Kidd is a bad coach. He's a bad coach.

Brad Stevens was labeled a 'genius' by the media far too early in his career.

Brad Stevens' biggest issue is that he was inaugurated a genius too early. Like he was called a genius basically from winning nothing... the national media had him as, like, Pop.

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach

Nick Nurse is an awful name for a head coach. I stand by that take.

I do not miss LeBron James in the NBA playoffs anymore

I don't miss LeBron. I don't miss LeBron in these playoffs anymore. I missed him in the first round. The first round felt hollow without LeBron. But I do not miss LeBron anymore because these are the best playoffs we've had in a very long time.

Kyrie Irving is primarily to blame for the Celtics' disappointing season

Kyrie, one. Far and away. He's supposed to be the leader. He's the guy. He kind of fucked himself here because the whole way he left Cleveland, he's like, I want to be the guy. You're going to get judged as the guy.

Steph Curry gets the least criticism of any superstar in sports for playing poorly

Watching [Steph Curry] play and watching him shoot and get hot is awesome. But there is not one single superstar that I've ever seen in any sport that gets less shit for sucking than Steph Curry.

Kevin Durant is the most unguardable human being ever created

What I'm saying is that when you look at all these guys [MJ, Shaq, Kobe, LeBron]... [Durant] does things at such an efficient level and at such a high rate. He's a seven-foot two-guard. He shoots 90% from the free-throw line. He's shooting 50% from three right now... if you had to create a basketball player, I think the two guys that you would create are probably Bron and KD for very different reasons.

To fix the Lakers, the front office needs to be cleared and someone should be stolen from the Spurs

I would change everyone that's in my front office, and then I would go and steal someone from the Spurs... There needs a lot more checks and balances. I think even Jeanie Buss needs somebody that can tell her no or can go in there and win an argument. And it doesn't have to be someone that she's friends with for 20 years.

Scott Foster is the best referee for a road team because he is a 'dickhead' who ignores the home crowd

There are certain referees that you want to see going into an arena... if I was going into Boston on the road, I want to see Scott Foster. Those kind of dickheads, those assholes, those guys that are kind of just like, leave me alone, I have to do my job. Those are the guys that I want. If anything, if the home team or the home crowd starts acting like jerks, they will actually go the other way.

The Trail Blazers have the best home-court advantage in the NBA playoffs

The Trailblazers, I would contend, yeah, I'm going to say it, they probably have the best home court advantage in the playoffs.

Kevin Durant vs. Michael Jordan is a legitimate debate

People are saying—I'm not saying. People are saying should the debate be Kevin Durant versus Michael Jordan... I kind of agree.

3-1 in the Finals is a better record than 3-6 when comparing Durant and LeBron

So he's [Durant] got the same amount of rings... It feels like three and one better than three and six. We could go all day, folks. We could cherry pick all day.

Jared Dudley is a clown

I'm just going to say totally unbiased, even though I'm biased because I don't like Jared Dudley because he denied an interview on Pardon My Take and canceled last second. I think Jared Dudley's a clown.

The NBA should have a 'kill switch' rule for playoff games decided by 35+ points

In a playoff series, if a team wins by a certain amount... in basketball if they beat them by 35-plus, the series is automatically over right there. We just fast forward and we save everybody the time. If you get beat by 35 points, it's just the kill switch. And it would make blowouts exciting because teams would be having to try really hard in game one.

Jimmy Butler screwed up the 76ers' chemistry

I think Jimmy Butler came in and screwed up the whole chemistry. That's what I think. Simmons can't shoot. It's so much easier to defend in the playoffs.

Paul Pierce's career ceiling was Dwyane Wade with arthritis

I think at the height of Paul Pierce's career, he was still like Dwyane Wade with arthritis. That was his ceiling.

The '7 seconds or less' Suns actually played good defense, but it was overshadowed by their scoring

We did play defense. That's the sad [part]. It got overshadowed because we were scoring so much... I think especially some guys play horrible individual defenders but great team defenders... Steve [Nash] was a great—he wasn't the best on-ball defender, but he's a great team defender.

The 2006 Suns were better than the 2007 team that everyone thinks should have won the title

Everybody speculates thinking [2007] was the year we should have won the championship... I don't. [The year before that] was better... I was physically, mentally drained because I was going from Sam Cassell to Elden Brand and Chris Kaman. From Kobe to Lamar to Ron Artest... Then I had to go against Dirk. My body was shut. I was tired. I was dead tired.

LeBron James shows his teammates up too much on the court

I think he shows his teammates up a little bit too much on the court. You know, and, you know, that's just part of him. I mean, you know, he kind of feel like he earned that. And I mean, that's him... but that's one of the things I don't like he does.

The one-and-done era has watered down both college and NBA basketball

And it's watered down the game a little bit. And then everyone leaving early for the NBA, I think, waters down the NBA a little bit. But it's hard to stop kids from pursuing their dream.

LeBron James has smelly breath and halitosis

LeBron James has smelly breath, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Not just because of the wine, but because LeBron definitely is surrounded by yes men, and he probably just does his halitosis breath in everyone's face. You think Maverick Carter's going to be like, hey, Bron, how about a fucking piece of Trident?

Mike Brown is a guy who just gets 'bumped' and alpha'd

Ever since LeBron bumped Mike Brown, I'm like, Mike Brown could just be bumped. He's a guy who just can be bumped... You get bumped on national television once, everyone just can kind of alpha you and bump you.

LeBron James' physical therapist's deleted Instagram post was a calculated excuse for his poor season

[LeBron's] physical therapist put out an Instagram that immediately deleted it... Classic LeBron. To just put it out there, let everyone know that he actually was dealing with a way worse injury, but then have it deleted... this was the ultimate excuse, just a very well-planned excuse.

Basketball players just need to play basketball, regardless of injury risk

This is basketball. It's not football. It's not any of these other sports. Like, basketball players need to play basketball... LeBron, that's what all these players, even Blake Griffin said it himself. You have to play to play. It sounds dumb saying it out loud. You've got to play.

Detroit sports fans are better than L.A. fans because they are more 'locked in'

I actually really do like the sports fans [in Detroit]. There's good sports fans in L.A., but there's so much stuff going on that people don't really care that much. So Detroit, when you're rolling, it feels like everywhere you go, people know what's going on. They know whether you lost last night. I love fans that actually know what's going on.

LeBron James' career scoring milestone feels hollow on a terrible Lakers team

Obviously LeBron's career is unassailable at this point... But don't you think it felt a little hollow, the fact that he's doing it on a terrible Lakers team? If it happened in Cleveland, it would have been a lot bigger of a moment in my mind.

Steph Curry is the most disrespected superstar in the NBA by his own peers

I think [Steph Curry] is the most disrespected by his peers superstar, which is weird... I feel like a lot of the athletes hate Steph. In some way, it's some bad thing because he had this awesome upbringing... it felt like all five of these guys had ad campaigns built on addressing the haters.

Kyrie Irving's weird behavior is just a quarter-life crisis

My take on this is that Kyrie Irving, he's 26 years old, and I think this is actually a very relatable thing. Stars are just like us. The quarter-life crisis. Kyrie Irving's going through his quarter-life crisis. Everyone hits that point in your mid to late 20s where you're like, what's the meaning of life?

Kyrie Irving is a method actor who has become stuck as the character Uncle Drew

I think he's a method actor. I think when he got into character as Uncle Drew, as like a baby boomer, now he hates all millennials around him. He's a character actor right now and he's still stuck. Andy Kaufman got stuck playing [characters], his mind got messed up. Can you imagine that, playing a character for so long that it starts to affect your brain and everything that you do?

Winning my fantasy basketball league is as satisfying as breaking a major news story

Satisfying is winning. [Winning the fantasy basketball league] would qualify as something that is on that list [more satisfying than breaking a big story]. I won the league last year... No one gives a shit except me that I'm trying to repeat. And it means nothing to anybody, but it means everything to me.

LeBron James is a piece of shit teammate and a bad look for the sport of basketball

Big Cat, I know you love hoops, but what he's doing right now... It's actually pathetic. It's just so embarrassing. He's the worst role model I've ever seen. ... He is just a shitbag. He's such a shitty teammate.

Rebounding is more about hard work and film study than just effort

I think it's more hard work than anything. I think you have to look at film. You've got to look at people. You've just got to go out there and just put everything on the line. As far as scoring, that's easy.

Kyrie Irving's leadership style is based on his Uncle Drew character

I think Kyrie Irving has just thought he is like now Uncle Drew because he was in that movie. He is like the old guy who's trying to teach everyone else on the team... he doesn't really know how to be like a true leader except for a really bad Hollywood movie.

I would rather be a dead-eye three-point shooter for the rest of my life than be able to dunk

If I could pick one for the rest of my life, to be awesome at dunking or wet from three at all times, I think I would take wet from three... Anytime you're open, think about this. Any guy in the NBA, like if they're open, they just make it. Having that would be so incredible.

Oldest player dunking should be a new All-Star Weekend contest

We should, to make the dunk contest better, before the dunk contest, they should do a contest, oldest guy that can dunk. So oldest NBA player that can still dunk... I want to know who all the retired guys have gotten fat.

NBA dads are correct that traveling is no longer called in the league

My cool throne is dads. Because we're all in agreement now that traveling is no longer called in the NBA. So, dads, you were right. They don't call it anymore. It was a gather step, bro. No, it was five steps... There were three gather steps, and then there were two more steps.

Orlando Magic GM John Hammond is a worse GM than Hitler

Worst GM in any sports history, including Hitler. Straight facts. Spot the lie.

I will not view the Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team

I'm going to say something right now. It's bullshit, and I will not let it stand... I will not view the Los Angeles Lakers with Anthony Davis as a real team. Asterix on all of it.

Modern NBA players are too friendly because they all grew up together in AAU and camps

Back in my day, like, everybody was mean, dude... I think that times evolve times change... if I was playing in those last five years, I can look and see that there were 30 guys who've been to my camp that are in the NBA. They were little kids in my camp. So why wouldn't we be friends, right? ... we didn't grow up on the same AAU team in people's basketball camp.

The best way to manage LeBron James is to challenge him to set picks and focus on team-oriented tasks

You have to challenge LeBron, right? ... finding little things in the game that could be challenging to LeBron that would ultimately dictate a better outcome... Can you set five incredible picks to get somebody open? Can you set a backdoor screen? Things off the ball that allows his teammates to like – so he's in the play but not in the play but still affecting the play.

Kyrie Irving loses his man card for apologizing to LeBron James

Taking [Kyrie Irving's] man card because he apologized. He apologized to LeBron... and then he also told the press all about it and made sure that it was a big deal about how he called and apologized.

Kyrie Irving is pulling a 'LeBron' by publicly blaming his young teammates.

Kyrie has been very outspoken, saying that the young guys need to pick it up. They don't have what it takes to be a championship team as of now. He's pulling a LeBron on them when LeBron was the one he hated. It's like when you grow up to be your father.

Middling NBA teams should hire Tom Thibodeau for a short-term boost

If you're any middling NBA team out there, why not hire Tom Thibodeau right now? He's at least good to give you a little bit of juice for a few months. ... He's like steroids. Really good short-term. Bad for your hips.

Michael Jordan is the GOAT because he doesn't have to say it

You know who doesn't say they're the GOAT? Michael Jordan, because he knows he's the GOAT. You don't have to say it if you know you're the GOAT... Michael Jordan was asked if he was the greatest of all time and he was like, my career is not over.

LeBron James is the Donald Trump of basketball

LeBron James actually has the exact same take on LeBron James being the goat that you had... LeBron won while he was in Ohio. Won in Florida, both of them. Check, check. They've both got weird hair. Check. Check. LeBron can't win in California. Neither can Trump. Check.