Takes

Jimmy Butler is not a top 20 player in the NBA

PFT has a hot take that Jimmy Butler is not a top 20 player in the NBA. [PFT]: No.

There will be no more national anthem protests in the NBA this season

I don't think we're going to see any. We've seen some like link to arms... but their sort of take is, great, Colin Kaepernick, they're pretty supportive of what he did as a group... but they need to do our own thing. And they've been trying to find sort of actual, you know, whether it's town halls... doing things like that that they think can make a real world impact.

James Harden will win the NBA MVP because he doesn't have to play defense

I'm taking James Harden because of the Mikey D thing. He's just like, James, don't worry about defense. Which, like, James Harden doesn't worry about defense anyway... I think if you eliminate that 5% of his brain that worries about defense, his offensive numbers are going to be so crazy.

The 2016 WNBA season was destined to be Candace Parker's year

If you follow the WNBA, you knew this was Candace Parker's season. The Los Angeles Sparks are your WNBA champions.

The Minnesota Lynx are an 'odd-year' dynasty

Are the Lynx still considered a dynasty, or was this their dynasty year because they won in 2011? 13, 15, people forget, odd year Lynx.

Team Australia went into the 2016 Olympics believing they could beat Team USA

I think we went in believing we could beat them [Team USA]. And I think we showed that, you know, we had the opportunities to. And we're a team that had played together for a lot of years. And I think that counts for something.

LeBron James is indestructible

I think he's [LeBron James] indestructible. No one's indestructible. I think LeBron is indestructible.

Mike Brown is the ultimate hot seat guy and a sacrificial lamb for the Warriors

Mike Brown's the ultimate hot seat guy. And I actually like this move by the Warriors, by Steve Kerr. Got to have a hot seat guy around. So if Kevin Durant starts to falter, if this team, this super team doesn't do so well, Mike Brown's going to be the first to go. Also, Mike Brown is a sacrificial lamb. He stumbles out of bed every morning on the hot seat.

Kevin Durant is a 'big fucking baby'

Kevin Durant is a big fucking baby. And what did he say? He said that there was a lot of selfish guys on the Thunder... implying that the Thunder are selfish.

The more high fives a basketball team gives, the better they are

Earl the Pearl says that they're going to start tracking players' high fives... Naturally, the more high fives you give, the better you are.

Dwyane Wade is the Heat's greatest player of all time, over LeBron James.

I think that Dwyane Wade was our best player of all time, obviously. [LeBron James] gave us two rings, even though he promised eight or seven. But Dwyane Wade was our best player.

Bet heavily against Butler because their bulldog mascot tore its ACL

Butler University's bulldog mascot... he tore his ACL. So he's only out for two weeks... so bet against Butler heavily.

Kevin Durant is a whiny baby

Kevin Durant is a fucking whiny baby. He seriously is... You were in Oklahoma City for so long, and everyone gave you a pass. LeBron James was bashed to no end for not winning a title... Kevin Durant not only has been considered a top three player in the NBA, but he played with a top five player in the NBA with [Russell] Westbrook, and he got a fucking pass. So shut up.

The Chicago Bulls have the only logo in the NBA that has never changed

The Bulls logo. Here's a fun fact for you, Hank. The only logo in the NBA that's never changed. And it's got blood on it, too. People forget. It's got blood on the horns.

Matthew Dellavedova subtweeted LeBron James by calling his fiancée his 'best mate'

Deli's engaged... and then he tweeted and Instagrammed, and he said, 'The best mate I could ever have in my life.' So shots fired at LeBron, kind of. Subtweet. A little sneaky subtweet.

The Timberwolves will be the savior of Minnesota sports with Tom Thibodeau

The Timberwolves are going to be good. Tom Thibodeau is here to save you, Minnesota. So let's just... Sometimes it's good to just be like, you know what? Cancel this entire season. We're just going to go on to the next one. And guess what? The next one's pretty damn good.

Carmelo Anthony is too cool for the Banana Boat crew

I think Carmelo is too cool for the banana boat. I think that LeBron James, Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, this new kind of athlete, this new super team-creating kind of athlete, they're lame. They're not hard. Carmelo's hard.

DeAndre Jordan values an Olympic Gold medal over an NBA ring because he'll never win a championship

I like it because Carmelo [Anthony] and DeAndre [Jordan] are both guys who are kind of talented. But they're probably never going to win a championship unless they change teams. So what better way for DeAndre to capitalize on the surge of patriotism... than to say, yeah, you know what? It's all about the medal.

LeBron James could become the world's best 50m freestyle swimmer in two years

If lebron were to try his hand at swimming how long do you think it would take him to become the best in the world in the 50? [Dwyer: 50? Two years. That guy's pretty athletic. Two years.]

LeBron James could be the fastest sprinter in the world if he wanted to

You have to imagine that if LeBron James wanted to, he could be the fastest sprinter in the world.

LeBron James might have crippled the Cavaliers long term with his new contract

I think [LeBron James] might have crippled the Cavaliers long term with this deal... The Cavaliers, they've got so much dead money that's going to be hanging around LeBron James' neck in three years. They're going to be lucky to eke out 40 wins in a season.

The Warriors window will open in a year and a half and they will be set for the next 5-10 years

This is basically a free agent signing for the Warriors. Like, getting the Cavaliers to commit this much money to [LeBron] right now... So the Warriors are going to be – their window is going to open up in like a year and a half. And then they're going to be set for the next like five, ten years.

Russell Westbrook will always do the exact opposite of what people tell him to do

Everyone just assumed [Westbrook] was going to go to L.A. And if I've learned anything about Russell Westbrook, if you tell him what he's going to do, he'll just do the exact opposite.

I will hit 8 out of 10 free throws if I practice for two weeks

Two weeks, I can hit eight out of ten. No problem. Yeah, I get my jumper wet. My jumper usually takes like five to six days to get wet. But if I take the time and I go to the gym and I get my shot back, I'll hit eight.

LeBron James is going to leave Cleveland a second time

Well, I also saw on SportsCenter today people were saying they were using the phrase like this was almost as bad as LeBron the first time he left Cleveland... So would that imply there's a second time? Huh. Huh. We're just connecting the dots, people.

LeBron James is a dickhead and I would never want him on my rugby team

Probably the last person I would want is LeBron... strictly because he's a dickhead. He's a dickhead. If I had to go with anyone, it would probably be AP, Adrian Peterson. He would be good at that.

USA Basketball is definitively better than every other country

USA basketball in America, better than every other country. I'm not saying that just to say it. I'm saying it because we have a yacht where our basketball team sleeps.

Draymond Green sending a dick pic is a 'nut shot' from the Warriors forward

Another nut shot from Draymond. Let me say that again. I stumbled over it. Another nut shot from Draymond.

LeBron James not signing with the Cavs yet is the biggest act of devastation to a city since Aaron Hernandez

If LeBron ends up not signing, I think this would be the biggest act of devastation that one player could ever cause to a franchise. And a city. Except for Aaron Hernandez.

All roads in the NBA super team era lead back to LeBron James

All roads lead to LeBron James with this super team friends and family shit. Just know that. There's always a way back to LeBron James. He started this shit and now it's corroding and polluting the NBA.

Carmelo Anthony winning gold medals means nothing because the USA should beat China by 90

I think it's fantastic that Melo is winning another gold medal. It means jack shit to me. Like, they're down there winning those games if it's a big deal. Like, you're supposed to beat China by 94. I'm not impressed that you did a 360 dunk on a 6'3 Asian basketball player.

NBA players are garbage for dunking on kids at summer camps for social media

Why do these players keep shitting all over these little guys that play $2,500 to go up to their camp and they dunk on them, they humiliate them, and then they post it all over Snapchat? All of them. It's out of control.

I will be sad when LeBron James finally signs with the Lakers and the free agency update segment ends

And that was our LeBron James free agency update. I'm going to be really sad when it's over, when he finally signs with the Lakers and we have to stop doing it. It's going to suck.

NBA players should have the right to choose their super teams

I do believe that grownups should have the right to decide where they work. Kevin Durant was in Oklahoma City for almost 10 years. And if he wants to go play somewhere else, it doesn't really feel good for me as some random person sitting at home and saying, you know where I think you should live your life and work every day. I'm not a big fan of like the franchise tag.

The Warriors won't be good for the first half of the 2016 season

With Kevin [Durant] going out there, I have a theory that they're not going to be very good for the first half of the year next year. Only one ball.

LeBron James is playing a leverage game with his free agency

I think LeBron's playing a leverage game. And wouldn't you? Dude, I mean, that letter in Comic Sans, you can forgive, babe, but you don't forget.

Pat Riley is building his next super team by 'hoodwinking' Dion Waiters

Pat Riley, he just took a step back down towards Earth on the stairway to heaven because this is how you build your empire back up. You hoodwink Dion Waiters a little bit. And the next thing you know, you got your next super team in place.

LeBron James will sign his 2016 contract before another Hillary Clinton email is leaked

LeBron James will sign before another [Hillary Clinton] email gets released. [Obama] is gonna fire a nuke up a horse's butt so that Putin can't leak any more of Clinton's emails.

LeBron James is still technically a free agent until he puts pen to paper

LeBron James is still a free agent sign. I had so many people coming up to me fact-checking me on that. I was like, nope, he hasn't signed. And then they'd be like, yeah, well, but he said he's going to sign. And I was just like, hmm.

Bay Area sports fans are spoiled

I think people out, the sports fans out in the Bay Area are spoiled. They obviously have the Warriors. They have the Giants who seem to win every other year. We've been pretty competitive for a while.

The Golden State Warriors might have chemistry issues because they have 'too many chiefs'

I don't know if they have enough shots. Everyone's going to want to shoot the ball. I don't know how it's going to work... Too many chiefs, not enough Indians. That's how I think it's going to go, but we'll see.

Jimmy Butler lacks the clutch gene

So you're saying that your boy Butler doesn't have the clutch gene? ... The witch hunt for Jimmy Butler keeps going.

Pat Riley is going to die soon because he's spending 10 days writing a single email

Pat Riley's going to die soon. ... Dwayne Wade thing pretty hard. And he said, ... Pat hasn't spoken to Dwayne post decision yet. He said, I've been crafting a very long email to him. He's been writing an email for like 10 days now. I feel like that's the end. When you're just sitting there with an open Word document and he's like, don't bother me.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

Adam Morrison has an apocalypse bunker with guns and food in Spokane

Adam Morrison is like an apocalypse-like guy who has – does he have like gold and cash and he's got a bunker? He's definitely fully equipped. He's got food, everything, if anything went down. He thinks something's going down with politics.

It is suspicious that LeBron James still hasn't signed his contract with the Cavaliers

NBA Free Agency... LeBron James still hasn't signed with the Cleveland Cavaliers. Hmm. Just saying. Hmm. I'm not saying, but. Hmm. Has everybody else signed? Yeah. So... he has not.

Dwyane Wade will win a title in Chicago

Dwayne Wade, he's going to win a title in Chicago. I don't know how it's going to work. They have Rondo, Jimmy Butler, and Dwayne Wade who all play isolation basketball for a coach that wants to move the ball and shoot threes. None of them shoot threes, but... Diddy and Skylar Gray had that video [I'm Coming Home], baby.

Any team with a 'Big Three' is automatically at least a three seed

The key is as long as you can assemble a group of three people together and call them the big three, then you're automatically going to be like at least a three seed. Right. That's the rule.

Kevin Durant might not improve the Warriors because there are too many cooks in the kitchen

I'm actually going to go out on a limb and say that Kevin Durant might not really improve the Warriors that much. Yeah, he's a really good player. He's got a lot of cooks in the kitchen now. You need some role players. You ever hear the expression, too many Chiefs, not enough Indians?