Takes

Pete Carroll will be fired during Black Monday

Pete Carroll out for sure. Gotta be gone. I don't even know if they have to tell Pete Carroll. I think they just gotta be like, 'Hey man, we'll see you next year' and then just never send him like when the OTAs are.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.

I'm back on the Patriots bandwagon because of the Mike Vrabel hire

My who's back of the week are the New England Patriots... they signed Mike Vrabel and they're back. They're, they're, they're on the path. The path of glory is back.

The NFL should not change the playoff format to strip division winners of home games

NFL might change the playoff format where division winners get an automatic entry but not necessarily home field in the first round. This would suck. NFL is what makes the NFL great. Winning your division should mean a lot. Don't overreact to one year.

Jayden Daniels will play against the Bears because he knows the importance of the matchup for the podcast.

Jane [Jayden] Daniels gonna play because he knows how much this means to us as a podcast. I think that he, that thought has gone through his mind.

The Rams are going to make the playoffs

I would actually be a little bit nervous about that [the Rams win]... because the Rams won this game. And it Sean McVay. Yeah. They've literally proven they can win a Super Bowl. They're gonna get healthy. Correct. Correct. They're gonna make the playoffs.

I will cut off the tip of my pinky if the Falcons win the Super Bowl

Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. Guaranteed. Falcons are not winning the Super Bowl. That's, I I believe it end the season. Tip of the pinky. If the Falcons somehow win this game on Monday night, I have to also have the Rams.

NFL training camp is officially back because Lamar Jackson has diarrhea

The only other thing I had was Lamar has diarrhea again. Yeah. That's how we know football's officially back. Lamar Jackson missed the first day of training camp. He had to be sent home because his butt hurt.

Spring football (UFL) will never be relevant because the sports calendar is too crowded

I'm, I've never been more confident in my take that spring football. I just don't care. I, I feel very good about that because I've, every, every few years they try to pop one up and be like, you should care. I respect the sports calendar more than anything. This is March Madness. This is gonna be masters. This is gonna be NBA and NHL playoffs. Football is king. I love football more than anything, but not spring football.

Jim Harbaugh will leave Michigan for the NFL after this season

I think that him accepting his punishment is a sign. He might be on the outs, which I'm excited for. Except he might go to the Chargers, which I'm not excited for.

The Texans offense will be much better than people think this year

He's [John Metchie] back in training camp. He looks awesome. ... I'm just saying, I think, I think the Texans on offense this year are gonna be way better than we think. I like Stroud.

Jacoby Brissett is the best quarterback in the NFL at the QB sneak besides Jalen Hurts

Jacobi Brissett is the best non-bush push [tush push] quarterback sneaker in the NFL... Statistically, I think even last, for the last couple seasons, Jacobi's been better than everybody besides Jalen Hurts.

Mike McCarthy taking over play-calling is the beginning of the end for his time in Dallas

Mike McCarthy is saying that he's going to now take on play calling rules. So this is awesome. ... It's also just, it's the beginning of the end. And if it's because when you get this job, they're basically saying, now you have to fucking do this. Yes. And you're gonna, so it's, it is shuffling the, the deck chairs on the Titanic.

The Eagles will not win the championship this season

The Eagles can fuck right off. They're not gonna win the championship.

Zach Wilson is officially cleared and the Jets will beat the Steelers

My 'who's back' is Zach Wilson. He's officially back and cleared to play next week against Pittsburgh... a game we can win... Sola said after in the press conference. I broke the fucking news. If anyone else tries to say they broke the news on Sunday... Billy football had it 1:00 AM Monday morning. Facts.

Football is back because the Patriots announced their red throwback jerseys

I saw the Patriots put out that they're gonna come and wear their red throwback jerseys this year. And that was the first time I was like, I think football's back.

Russell Wilson's 'first ever pass' video at AS Monaco's facility is absurdly corny

Russell Wilson threw the first ever football at AS Monaco's practice field. It was wild. He did a whole Instagram video and he's like, check this out guys. No one's ever thrown a football on this field. And then he threw it. He broke the seal on. It was fucking nuts.

Dan Snyder's financial theft from other owners will be what finally forces him to sell the team

Dan Snyder... Apparently Snyder was lying about how much money he was getting into his gate. So he was actively stealing from the other owners... if you steal a million dollars from Jed York, they want to kill you. And so it looks like if anything's going to happen, this would be what could bring Dan Snyder down.

Dan Snyder is as close as he's ever been to being forced to sell the Washington Commanders

Florio just texted me a second ago and was like, we're as close as we've ever been to him getting to sell the team... If Snyder was lying about how much money he was getting into his gate, he was actively stealing from the other owners... if you steal a million dollars from Jed York, they want to kill you.

Khalil Mack being traded is fine because the Bears need to tear it all down

That was one of those situations where people wanted me to be mad, but I wasn't because I, the bears need to re they need to fix everything. They need to tear it all down. Build it back up. ... I wasn't mad because I don't know what the point of going like seven and 10 with Khalil Mack.

Malik Willis threw the ball 73.72 yards at the NFL Combine

Doing some Pythagoras theorem on Malik Willis' absolute gigantic throw. So he threw it 60 yards down the field. But if you [calculate] the hypotenuse of how actually far you threw in a straight line, it got out to 73.72.

Mike McDaniel is the perfect personality to save Tua Tagovailoa's career

Dolphins hired a new head coach, Mike McDaniel. Watch that clip of his, he seems very media friendly guy, big personality. He's going to save Tua [Tagovailoa].

Any head coach the Bears hire will fail because the organization is broken

I've come to a bad realization with it—with my wisdom in life—is that it's not the coach. It's the organization. Like whoever gets hired is going to fail because the organization will fail them... 90% chance will fail because the Bears are broken, terrible organization.

The Manning Cast curse is officially undefeated on the year

The Manning Cast curse, it is officially undefeated on the year. Aaron Rodgers went on week 17 and the Packers lost to the Lions. Week one Travis Kelce, Russell Wilson, they all lost the week after they appeared.

If the USFL doesn't let me kick in a game, they are a dead league

Officially on team 'Fuck the USFL.' Unless they do let me kick in a game. In which case I'll be the biggest USFL guy in the history of that.

The Manningcast curse is real

Everyone who's appeared on the Manning broadcast has lost [their next game]. Curses are back.

Urban Meyer is trying to recreate his Florida Gators teams by moving Travis Etienne to wide receiver.

Urban Meyer is just that report that Travis Etienne is taking reps as only a wide receiver... He's trying to create Percy Harvin. I understand what he's doing, I think... He just wants to recreate the Florida team.

NFL wide receivers wearing single-digit numbers is a 'there goes the neighborhood' moment

The NFL is just, I guess, giving clearance to wide receivers to wear single-digit numbers... It's a major There Goes the Neighborhood moment. I think it's going to happen. Peter King leaked it out, and when Peter King has a scoop like that, it's Roger Goodell just being like, Peter, you are my trial balloon.

Russell Wilson really wants to be traded from the Seahawks

It feels like [Russell Wilson] really wants to get traded, even though he hasn't fully said he wants to get traded. But for someone who hasn't said, trade me, he's done everything else.

The Lions are making the right move by starting over and trading Matthew Stafford

They're rebuilding. They're starting over. I think this is the right move. I actually think it's like people who are Detroit Lions fans are very pumped to see Matt Stafford maybe go somewhere good.

Mike Glennon is the perfect quarterback for people to use in Kaepernick comparison tweets

Every year we have to have at least one quarterback that's the perfect person for half of Twitter to quote tweet and be like Colin Kaepernick isn't on an NFL team but this person. Yes, Mike Glennon is like the perfect person to focus our attention on there.

There is almost a zero percent chance that the NFL season does not happen this fall

Florio did have a report where [he's] talking to the right people that it's basically a zero percent chance—not a zero percent chance, but like almost a zero percent chance that there's no football this fall.

Leaked Wonderlic scores are a smokescreen designed to hurt Tua Tagovailoa's draft stock

They were also incorrect leaked Wonderlic scores all that which tells me it's smokescreen season for someone out there. Like someone wants the rest of the NFL to believe that Tua is dumb because they gave Tua a 13 in the first Wonderlic score. It's not true at all. That's not what he got.

I am officially back on the Redskins drafting Chase Young over Tua Tagovailoa

I'm back on Chase Young because I saw a report on Friday that he is actually like LeBron—his parents didn't stop growing until they were like 28 years old and so he's like 6'5" right now. There's a good chance that he could end up being like 6'8" or 6'9"... I'd be happy with either one right now, but I'm officially back on Chase Young.

I am back on the Tua Tagovailoa train because he looks better throwing without college stripes

Watching [Tua Tagovailoa] throw with an NFL ball looks good. Like the witchcraft is gone or whatever. It looks I think it goes from looking like it's spinning clockwise to looking like it's spinning counterclockwise now that it has the stripes off. So I'm 100% on board the Tua train.

Urban Meyer will definitely coach football again

My who's back is Urban Meyer because Urban Meyer said he misses football. Oh, you think? That actually could just be that because he's definitely going to coach. So shout out all the people who said that he actually was retiring for real this time. You're an idiot.

The Derek Carr media hype machine is funny because we know he isn't a superstar

The Derek Carr media hype machine that's trying to get behind a guy who we really know who he is, and that's not a terrible quarterback, but he's not a superstar quarterback, is very, very funny to me. Because they're basically trying to wheel themselves into Derek Carr as our starter.

Adam Gase is the most paranoid person in the world and hiring him is a massive mistake

One other high-level evaluator with a different team said that this is the biggest mistake anyone in the NFL has made in years. Gase is crazy. He's the most paranoid person in the world. This will be like Todd Haley on crack.

Ryan Fitzpatrick is the perfect Dolphins QB and will definitely beat the Patriots once during the season

I don't think there's been a more perfect move in the history of the NFL than Ryan Fitzpatrick going to the Dolphins... Ryan Fitzpatrick is like the perfect, we can rebuild, but he'll give us four or five wins... if you don't think that Ryan Fitzpatrick is beating the Patriots once this year, you don't know football.

Tom Brady is a prisoner of his own success because of his extreme superstitions

Tom Brady's success is so successful and won so many Super Bowls, how many little things like this do you think he does in a day-to-day basis where he's like, well, it's helped me get to where I'm at? He's basically stuck in the most superstitious life of all time... He's permanently stuck upside down because he keeps winning Super Bowls... He's a prisoner of his own success.

Saints fans are justified in being salty for months because the Rams only scored three points

If you're a Saints fan... that is the worst possible outcome to get over the loss... you have to sit there and say Drew Brees would not score three points in the Super Bowl. You have permission for me to continue all your salty behavior for another three months.

The Bears will be in first place in the NFC North (for now)

The Bears are back. They're number one. NFC North. Just saying. I don't know if we'll hold on to it for very long, but you have to enjoy the small steps, okay?

Aaron Rodgers is surly, malcontent, and uncoachable

They hate each other. They always have hated each other. It's great to watch. Aaron Rodgers, surly, malcontent, uncoachable.

I finally have a football game to watch every single week from now until the second week of February

We have finally gotten to the point where we will have a football game every single week until the second week of February. We have the Hall of Fame game on Thursday night. There will be a football game every single week.

The Cleveland Browns will win seven games this year

I have something very brave to say. I think the Cleveland Browns are going to win seven games this year.

Scouts will reasonably drop Shaquem Griffin in the draft because he only has one hand

I can't wait for people to get mad when he falls in the draft a little bit. Look, I think he's a good player, and he did well at the Combine, but he does not have one hand. So, like, I think... That's a fair criticism to throw out there. That doesn't mean that he's not going to be a good NFL player, but I think most scouts would probably say, I'd prefer two hands than one.

Tom Brady's mother being from Minnesota will be a massive Super Bowl storyline

Tom Brady's mother is from Minnesota. Wow. That's actually pretty good. Big storyline there. So coming home, kind of, I don't really know where we're going to go with that, but it's going to be good.

Josh McDaniels and Matt Patricia's imminent departures will be a major Super Bowl distraction

The coordinator's last games. So Josh McDaniels is going to be a head coach of the Colts. Patricia is going to be the head coach of the Lions... this is going to be [a storyline].

Blake Bortles is officially back

So my who's back of the week is Blake Bortles of the Blake Bortles Wikipedia Club. Huge game. Four touchdowns. He's back.

Blake Bortles is the Jaguars' QB1 for the 2017 season

Blake Bortles is back... he is QB1 for the season. All you haters out there. Blake Bortles, QB1, Jacksonville Jaguars. Write it down.