Takes

This Dungeons and Dragons episode is the best one the show has ever done

It is Dungeons and Dragons Day, the best one we've ever done... I honestly think it's the best one we've ever done.

Al Michaels' broadcasting mood is determined by the length of his flight to the stadium

My theory too on Al is that it just depends on how long of a flight he had to take. So when he's like at a Charger's vi the Charger's playing the Vikings, which was a blowout, he was pretty happy tonight... If he has to call next week Jets, patriots, we're gonna get a surly surly al Michaels 'cause he is gotta go cross country. He's gonna be pissed off.

TV networks should force in-house umpires to wear full gear during broadcasts

I have a dumb sports rule for you guys... our friends of Fox were going to the in-house umpire Mark Carlson. He was wearing a suit and tie. I think the in-house umpire should have to wear a full chest protector and mask because baseball's the one sport where managers wear full uniforms. Why aren't we doing that?

Hank is the 'glue guy' of the show and it would fall apart without him

Hank's the glue guy of this show. So I always has been. It means you're the glue. If you weren't here, this show would fall apart.

Ryan Clark is a 'piece of shit' for berating Peter Schrager

My who's back of the week is our guy Peter Schrager... Ryan Clark's a piece of shit. I'll just say that... he just like berated Peter Schrager for having a take on a take show because he didn't play the game... Ryan Clark, come on, man.

Corner camping is a legitimate and awesome strategy in Call of Duty

I think that's awesome. Yeah, it's great. You find a good spot where you kill... corner camping. I ended up winning. It was great.

Battlefield 6 is bringing realism back to first-person shooters

The Battlefield six beta has brought realism back into first person shooter games. They peaked with 520,000 concurrent players only on Steam. Battlefield six, none of [the skins]. We're riding tanks. We're blowing up buildings.

Hard Knocks is just a 45-minute commercial for whatever team they are profiling

Hard Knocks is just gonna be like a 45 minute commercial for whatever team they happen to be profiling because otherwise no teams would ever do it and the NFL wouldn't allow it.

Announcing you are writing a book is the funnest part of writing a book

Announcing that you're writing a book is the funnest part of writing a book. Oh yeah. Now we gotta write a book. We've ended up canceling the books at the last minute several times, which always feels great to do.

Our 10th anniversary book will be the dumbest book ever created

It's gonna be the dumbest book ever created. And it's not gonna be... like, I don't wanna, we're not gonna write like a a tell all that's like super serious. It's gonna be stupid. ... We want it to be dumb. We wanna be stupid.

Adam Schefter uses specific character limits to bait clicks in notifications

I saw his post about a trade. It said Jalen Ramsey has been traded from the Miami Dolphins to, and then it was the...dot dot dot. It cut off right there. I think that Schefter knows exactly how many characters to use to make people actually click through and look at his tweet instead of just looking at the notification. I think that he's that good.

Joe Burrow's terrible first pitch was a staged viral marketing stunt by Fanatics

I think that whole fucking fanatics thing was just like, they basically listed like, alright, what's gonna go viral? Let's make a fake viral thing here... And they were like, Joe Burrow, we're gonna pay you like $2 million suck at throwing baseballs. That's the only way I can stomach it.

The NBA Finals don't feel special because there is no 'Finals' script on the court anymore

How do you not have just like a script NBA finals? How do you not have anything, maybe even on the baseline there? It's the same argument I make with the throwback jerseys... When I watch a highlight of this game 10 years from now, I wanna know it was the NBA finals and there's nothing on the fucking court except YouTube TV.

The Stanley Cup and NBA Finals should be scheduled to happen at the same time

What I'm rooting for is for the Stanley Cup and the NBA finals to happen at the same time. Yeah, I, well, around the same time. I don't know how the schedules work out with like how they're set. But I would just prefer to not have one series be over while the other sport is still going on.

Ryan Clark is a psycho for his social media attack on Robert Griffin III

Ryan Clark is kind of a psycho and just went like nuclear on a take about a foul in the WNBA. ... It basically comes down to RG3 had a misdemeanor of being corny online and, and Ryan Clark put him in front of a firing squad.

WNBA players should stay off social media to avoid the toxic discourse

I would imagine that most of the really, really bad shit that you deal with is from people that are DMing you from anonymous accounts... I would just log off, have somebody else run your social media, do your ad deals, do all that shit for you. But don't, I, I would stay off.

Live human performance is superior to AI in music

I think that meant that you just want to actually kill us because if it was the, if it was equal, then you watch... but you can't, you can't beat a live show... No vibes from ai.

Seth Davis's 'refereeing is art' take is the dumbest argument ever

Seth Davis though tweeted this about the refs... 'Reffing is more art than science.' I'm gonna disagree with that. I think that's, that makes me want robot s. That's the dumbest argument I've ever heard. If the refs don't call physical play or something that happens in the first half and then all of a sudden they decide that they're gonna call that a foul, that's very confusing for the players.

Skip Bayless is the biggest loser of the LeBron interview on Pat McAfee

All this to say Skip Bayless was not mentioned once and all Skip Bayless wants to do is get mentioned by LeBron. He's the big loser in all of this.

LeBron's swearing in the McAfee interview made him more relatable

The part that I liked the most was the swearing. It makes him relatable. It was the best swear.

LeBron James is one of the best and most gracious interview subjects

I'd say him [LeBron], I appreciate the times that we talk where I think he gives you more than just the, the garden variety. When they [LeBron, Tiger, Jeter] seem like they're invested and actually present in a way that they're—I don't wanna say into it, but that it isn't a chore. That's the best you can hope for.

TV networks must fix scoreboard spoilers that show scores ahead of the live broadcast

I don't understand how it's still an issue... if you're watching four games at once, half the time you see the scoreboard on one game and it will be ahead of the actual game you're watching... figure it out. Don't let it spoil us.

The NHL's Four Nations tournament completely outclassed the NBA All-Star weekend

The NHL absolutely bodied the NBA in terms of getting it right and what they did, what they've done with the Four Nations Tournament instead of the All-Star game versus everything that's been going on for the NBA All-Star game. It's not even close.

The Meta Quest 3 is significantly better than the Apple Vision Pro

I got the Apple Vision Pro like seven months ago. What a waste of fucking money that was. That was probably the the biggest waste of money I've ever had in my entire life... picked up the Meta Quest 3. That thing rocks... this kicks the shit out of the Apple Vision Pro.

The Simpsons characters are significantly better in 2D than 3D

I did watch the first half of The Simpsons broadcast last night, and I don't know why it took me so long to remember this. The Simpsons are a million times better in 2D. The Simpsons in 3D. Not that fun.

Bob Costas is horrible at broadcasting baseball and should stop

Bob Costas... He just sounded, he's broadcasting the Yankees-Royals series and he sounds horrible... He has all the money. He doesn't need to do it. I don't get why he chooses to do it.

Al Michaels is at his best when he is visibly annoyed by the quality of football

When Al Michaels is at his best now is when he's annoyed with the quality of football. And he was so annoyed. He gets into surly old man mode very early on in the first half. He was just like, well this is awful. This is terrible, Kirk, get me outta here.

I will not draft Travis Kelce for moral reasons related to his podcast

This is the number one sports podcast. Yes. That's it. There is no other sports podcasts. There will be no talk of that person [Travis Kelce] on this... No Travis Kelce on our team. I love that. Good, good. Take a stand.

Noah Lyles is the Hater of the Year for his comments on the NBA

Noah Lyles... might have to do that as a Takey Hater of the Year. Because he was the one who before the Olympics said, you don't win a world championship if you win the NBA championship. That's not the world... He definitely got cut playing basketball. He's got some very deep seated anger for any ball sport.

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me because he was too dominant

Michael Phelps ruined swimming for me personally. Because he was so goddamn dominant that, and it happened so recently that I'm watching swimming and I'm like, well, Phelps would've beaten all these guys.

The New York media is unethical and prioritizes control

The media in general is scared of people that they can't control. Because they built this brand that can't be controlled. I would say the majority of them too are so unethical. The practices now is just a fucking joke.

Adam Schefter is one of the few media members you can actually trust with off-the-record information

Adam and I actually are close... he's one of the media members you can actually trust that if it's off the record, it's not going anywhere. Like he actually will keep it close to the vest.

The Sonos app is terrible and needs to be completely fixed

I got something to say about Sonos. Figure it out guys. Ooh, what's up with this app? Why do I need the app to, to play the, the music? I agree. And if you're gonna require me to have the app to play music, at least make the app good. You know? Yes. I gotta be able to go on my Spotify and just click a speaker. Yep. You can do it with everything else.

Every athlete should get one pass per year to skip the media after a loss

I think that every athlete should get one a year where they can just say, I'm I'm not doing this and, and this you, you and if you, if you don't use it, you lose it. So you don't get carryover, but you get one a year where you can just be like, Nope, no moss, I can't do it. Because I would, if I were Rory and I had to sit there and have Bryson come up to me and be like, that was an incredible fight you put up, you know what? Oh, you played so great. I wish two of us could have won this. And then go sit and have some reporter say, Rory, talk me through what happened with that putt that you missed. I kill myself.

Rory McIlroy's tire spinning exit gave reporters a better story than a boring press conference would have

The media gets so mad after Claire. And then they have all their articles about how this person didn't give them anything to write about. Right. And he actually, Rory gave everybody so much more stuff to write about. Right. So much more stuff to talk about by not answering questions than he did if he had stuck around and just given like deadpan answers of credit to Bryce. And he played really, really well. Of course I'm disappointed. Very upset that I missed those puts, you know? Yeah. It's one of those things, golf's a hard game. That's what Rory would've said.

Success in broadcasting is a combination of luck and constant preparation

Luck a hundred percent. A lot of life is being right place, right time... But like certain people tend to be lucky because they're constantly prepared. They're constantly ready for that moment. And then all of a sudden that right moment does flip and it clicks... All you can do is be good.

An NFL broadcaster could call an NBA game more easily than vice versa

I think an NFL broadcaster could broadcast an NBA game with more understanding and clarity than vice versa. Because it's too—offenses are too complicated. Defense is too complicated. The NFL, you know, 'cause you got, 'cause remember like in football, every play is an individual story... I just think there's more need and space to fill in more like football lingo and talk that than there is maybe in a ever, you know, a constant flowing basketball game that you could kind of fake it a little bit more.

Secretariat's records are fraudulent and he likely used steroids

Secretariat had 663 children... Guess how many of his kids won a Triple Crown race? The answer is zero... every mile time has gradually gotten better over the years except horse racing... He also lost a bunch of races... they had an excuse ready after every single loss... he had horse herpes and they blamed his loss on that... The more you look into Secretariat, the more it stinks to high heaven.

Flightline is the GOAT horse over Secretariat

I think we should as a podcast, we should say Flightline is our goat. Flightline was a horse that won the Breeders Cup two years ago... He raced six times and he just killed everyone... Casual fans will say Secretariat... Flightline, he was an incredible horse.

The Masters app is the greatest piece of technology ever invented

My cool Throne is the Masters app... I redownload the Master's app. Have to, it's a tradition unlike any other. And when you log into the, the first time, it just feels, it's such a great way to come down from the NCAA tournament being over... the greatest piece of technology ever invented. Yep. And you open it up and you're like, everything's going to be okay. 'Cause the Masters app's here and it's comforting and it's perfect.

Joe Lunardi hates his job and should be replaced by Steve Kornacki

Joe Lunardi has to work three weeks a year and he said goodnight at 10:57 during conference championship week on Friday night when there was like six games left. What is up with this guy?... What he needs to realize is that with one snap of the fingers that freak Steve Kornacki could step into his job and do it better.

JJ Redick is playing a character on 'First Take' to lean into his Duke heel persona

I do think he is doing a little bit of a bit when he goes on first take, it's the heel in him. If you watch it under the idea that JJ is being like the Duke smart ass, I know more Ball than you, it's great TV.

Tony Romo doesn't add any substance to broadcasts anymore

Tony Romo, he just doesn't. And we were the first to this take... He doesn't add any substance anymore. And it's like, and he makes weird noises. He was singing into commercial. He just says obvious things and he misses obvious things too.

Tom Brady should not over-prepare and should just be himself in the broadcasting booth

If I am telling Tom Brady anything... I would just say be yourself. I, I don't get into this trying to sound like what you've heard over the years... You know the game. Don't over prepare and see what you see and react with your gut on what you see. I, I think so many times people like that's, they, they overdo it to the point where they're just paralyzed by so much information.

The NFL Super Bowl should be called by the season's best announcers

I think that the Super Bowl should be announced by the best announcers that year... It should be Greg Olsen and Jim Nantz.

The word 'analytics' is used as a placeholder for any number that sports fans dislike

I have a take. And that's, people just use the word, they substitute the word analytics in whenever there's a number that they don't like and they're like, this is analytics.

I hate watching playoff football on an app like Peacock

I hate the experience of watching a game on an app as opposed to watching on TV, where you can easily and elegantly and seamlessly flip back and forth and show off your skills going back to the game right as it's about to snap again... it's a playoff game and it stinks.

Al Michaels hears the social media criticism and thinks it is bullshit

Al hears it. He disagrees with it... Social media is using those two examples [Jacksonville playoff game and Denver game] to just say Al Michaels hates Thursday night, Al Michaels has lost it... He hears the noise, I don't think he's like 'I'll show them'. He has more of an f-you attitude about it. He thinks it's a bunch of bullshit.

Al Michaels is the perfect broadcaster for Thursday Night Football because the games are usually bad

Maybe Al Michaels is the perfect guy for Thursday night football. Yeah. Because like, you don't want to peak too early. No. You want to kind of ease your way into the weekend.

The old Patriots lighthouse was completely forgettable

I mean, ooh, I don't know. I was so busy trying not to mess up anything back there... Little did I know, it's just kind of an NFL thing... no, I can't think of [the lighthouse] off the top of my head.