Takes

The Patriots would have won Super Bowl 60 if the Cooper Kupp bobble had been challenged and overturned.

I don't know why they didn't challenge that in real time. That was like, that's a bobble. And then it was clearly was a bobble. If he didn't, if they didn't, if they reviewed it and it gets overturned, they didn't even get a field goal... I think we win. [Sliding doors effect].

The Super Bowl halftime show is for chicks

The Super Bowl halftime show is—is—is for chicks... I don't think the average NFL fan is like, man, I hope this Super Bowl halftime show is awesome. I don't give a fuck.

Jared Stidham might have a vestigial tail that acts as a biological gyroscope for his balance

J Stidham might have a tail. An actual tail. ... Everybody was thinking that J Stidham might have a tail. ... if you have a tail, it helps you balance. It acts like a stabilizer. When you're twisting, when you're throwing, it's a biological gyroscope.

The NFL magnetized the goalposts to increase the number of 'doinks'

The goalposts are magnetized since the NFL put chips in the ball. Doinks are way up. I have zero data, but the timing is suspicious and the sound is too perfect.

TV companies are intentionally degrading the quality of old game broadcasts to sell 4K TVs

I think somebody's going back and making the feeds worse... If you try to watch a game that's from the year 2009. Yeah. Online. Yeah. It, it looks like it was shot in a, a basement camcorder situation... I swear to God, when we watch football in 2009, it looked good on tv. It didn't look like that.

Bo Nix's injury was a 'soft benching' by Sean Payton

Is this the most high profile soft benching of all time?... Think about it. If, if, if Sean Payton benched Bo Nix, everyone would riot. Now he's got a fractured ankle and he's going to Alabama and it's Diddy [Stidham], his guy.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems... This guy went to the practice field with a gause meter. It read 8.5 plus milligauss.

The 49ers' high injury rate is caused by an electrical substation next to their practice field

The 49ers are statistically the most injured team in the NFL over the past decade since moving to Levi's stadium... Only one variable is unique and the players know it in their guts. ... Players have joked around about there being an electrical substation right next to the practice field and how that has led to the Niners injury problems. ... This guy is saying that the Niners are just getting bombarded with electric waves all day, which is fucking up their bodies.

Bo Nix is 'dog phobic' because he is secretly a dog himself

He is afraid of dogs because he's worried that deep down inside... he's gonna have to tell his parents 'I'm a dog.' I think he's trying to suppress his inner dog because he knows if he becomes the dog that bit him, it's watch out world. He got bit by a dog as a child and became a dog.

Mike Tomlin has to be fired by the Steelers

Regardless of what happens next week, Tomlin's gotta go. I mean, he just gotta go. It's stale. He has a losing record in the playoffs. He refuses, he changes offensive coordinators all the time. Defense coordinators, the seasons all look the same... everything is always the same because it's Mike Tomlin.

Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning from getting too many MRIs

Do you think Lamar Jackson has radiation poisoning? Mm. From all the MRIs. Too many MRIs and all the x-rays... It might be like Chernobyl.

The Kansas City Chiefs should just quit for the rest of the season since they are already eliminated

There's never been a team that like deserves to quit more than the Chiefs. They've been playing so much football for the last five years... Patrick Mahomes just tore his ACL. If you're a Chiefs player, listen to this right now. Just fucking quit.

Joe Burrow is using a 'Jedi mind trick' to get the Bengals to trade him without asking directly

I think what [Burrow] is trying to do is make the Bengals decide to trade him so that he doesn't have to say, I want to be traded and get them to recognize he's not happy... I think he's trying to do the Jedi mind trick to get them to trade him without him having to ask to be traded.

Jayden Daniels is the worst quarterback from the 2024 draft class

My preemptive take of the year was right. Commanders would miss a playoffs and Jayden Daniels be the worst out of all the quarterbacks in 2024. [Big Cat: 'Michael Penix?'] He looked pretty good before the injury.

The 'Blob' weather pattern could mean the end of the world

B-Big Cat, We are Earth could be finished. We could be done... There's a world, the blob never goes away... I do wanna say you're right. I was being dramatic there. Blob will go away, but it's sinking its toes right now.

The Kansas City Chiefs are officially eliminated from playoff contention

The Kansas City Chiefs have been eliminated from playoff contention... I just don't think that they can run the table because that's gonna be it. It's hard. These aren't the same chiefs.

The New York Jets will acquire Lamar Jackson from the Ravens next season

I do go to bed and I just thinking who's the next quarterback will be next season. And right now we're on Lamar Jackson... Ravens don't make the playoffs. Raven's good organization. They've moved on from quarterbacks in the past... we got like three years of Lamar.

Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman Trophy

Let me hear hear have your Alexa hear me say Jeremiah Love should win the Heisman and then get it in the algorithm.

The College Football Playoff committee is intentionally keeping JMU out because they don't want any 'presidents' in the bracket

I think it's a anti-PFT thing. I think maybe the college football playoff committee has gone woke and they don't want any presidents in their bracket. Makes sense. It's sad. I mean, just fast forward 20 years, Trump University probably will be blacklisted too.

The New Orleans Pelicans are 'soft quitting' the season to relocate

The Pelicans are just like soft quitting and gonna probably be in like relocate... they have no promotional calendar for the season... no bobbleheads... they're just soft quitting the Pelicans.

The Colts are the best team in football right now

The Colts who are the best team in football... Their offense is absolutely electric. They are like, they're just well-rounded all the way through.

Tucker Kraft is the best tight end in the NFL

Tucker Kraft best tight end in the NFL. I would say let's just, let's just get fucking reckless. That was yeah. Was the last thing we watched and yeah. Did he have 143 yards and two touchdowns and looked absolutely explosive and unguardable? Why not just fucking say it and then next week Sam LaPorta has a great game? No.

Wisconsin Football is currently the worst program in Power Four football

Wisconsin football just because they're the worst team in college football, Power Four college football. It's an absolute joke what's happened to the program. They haven't scored a touchdown in two games. The culture's broken, the program's broken.

Baker Mayfield is the current NFL MVP frontrunner

Baker Mayfield. That's it. It's Baker Mayfield... Baker Mayfield, they don't have the, the, the Bucks don't have Mike Evans. They don't have Chris Godwin... Baker Mayfield. Not, not MVP candidate MVP, he might be a front runner right now.

Every Philadelphia sports team should be blown up and started from ground zero

Done. Everything's done. Blow it up. Blow up. Start every single team from ground zero. No, I, every single one of 'em, I'm done with the union.

The Phillies' loss to the Dodgers is the worst in playoff history since Bill Buckner

It's the worst loss in playoff history since Bill Buckner. He should have gone to first. That is a play that you would be shocked to see on a little league field.

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst quarterback in the NFL

Jalen Hurts looks like the worst fucking quarterback in the NFL. He's a bad quarterback right now.

Saquon Barkley has been horrible all season for the Eagles

Saquon also all of a sudden sucks. Now that no one's talking about that. He's horrible. He's been horrible all year. The whole team sucks. Everyone sucks.

Patrick Mahomes is officially washed

Mahomes is washed. Washed. These two days under 500 he's washed.

The Patrick Mahomes 'conversation' will be triggered if the Chiefs lose badly to the Ravens

At what point do we have to say there's maybe Mahomes isn't what he was... This is the conversation game. If they lose and it's close, then it's not time for the conversation. Right. But we will have a definitive answer after this game. Yeah. We'll give you your answer on Sunday night.

If the Jets lose to the Buccaneers and their backup offensive line, defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired

I was saying if, if the, if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team.

The Green Bay Packers are a generational, once-in-a-lifetime team

Today is September 12th and the Green Bay Packers are a problem. Generational team. I listen credit to us. We said if they don't win the Super Bowl, it would be the greatest upset in the history of sports. And they are so good. They're guaranteed to win this Super Bowl and probably next year's Super Bowl.

USF is currently the best team in the country

College football. USF is the best team in the country. Resume. Debate me. USF... Are they the only team that's beaten two ranked opponents? I believe so. So they beat Boise State and then they beat Florida. I think they're, I think you can make the case. They should be ranked higher. Top 10.

The Browns should sign Justin Tucker

Given who's already on the Browns roster, should the Browns take a look at Justin Tucker... if there's anywhere that Justin Tucker can go right now and people aren't gonna be like, whoa, what are you doing here?

Michael Jordan needs to be allowed back on the UNC football sidelines with a headset for decision making

I would say maybe Jordan needs to be allowed back on the sidelines headset. Why are you kicking Jordan out of all decision making from the team and then acting surprised when you get the shit kicked out of you by TCU week one?

Nico Iamaleava should transition to being a wide receiver

Nico, I'm a receiver. Yeah, that's, that's what I'm calling him... I think he's very fast. I think he's got great change of direction. I think he has no idea how to throw like an intermediate pass whatsoever.

The Packers fleeced the Cowboys in the Micah Parsons trade

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

The Super Bowl should be played in London to make it a bigger global event

It's a football field. It's the same dimensions, it's the same place. Hey, people are, have it so twisted where it's like, if we want this to be the biggest event in the world, we should have it in [London]... It's better for the sport. It's better for the show. It's better for us. It's better for everyone.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Caleb Williams missing throws in training camp is actually AI-generated

I did see another one [video] that got like no retweets of him actually nailing the drills. ... I sent [Ryan Whitney] the clip and he said, sick. He looks awesome, being obviously facetious. And I said, that's AI dude. ... But I got you to believe that for a second.

The WNBA is likely throwing dildos on their own court for ratings

I have a stay woke. I think the WNBA is throwing dildos onto their own court. Get the ratings up.

Dogecoin will eventually overtake Bitcoin

I feel like Doge is gonna take Bitcoin over at some point. I saw... I got the Doge. It's in a wallet somewhere.

Jayden Daniels will be the worst quarterback of the 2024 NFL Draft class

The Washington Commanders are gonna miss the playoffs. Jayden Daniels finish dead last out of the 2024 QBs in that draft class.

I'm counting Novak Djokovic's Wimbledon loss as his 25th major because Jannik Sinner is a cheater

I'm counting this as Novak Djokovic's 25th major because he played [Sinner] better than Alcaraz played [Sinner]. And [Sinner] is a sinner and he's a cheater. So therefore Ipso Facto Djokovic is the goat 25th major Grand Slam championship.

Patrick Mahomes might be washed

Mahomes might be washed. He just discussed, he didn't play great at the end of the year. They choked in the Super Bowl.

The Wizards should draft Caitlin Clark to sell tickets

Why don't the [Wizards] draft Caitlin Clark? I think she'd sell tickets. I think she'd sell tickets. Now is, is she at the ability level to be an NBA player? No. Obviously not. But sell tickets. She can go out there, there ball and hoop. She can hit a couple threes.

The Indiana Fever need to hire a Charles Oakley-style enforcer to protect Caitlin Clark

This is actually a great opportunity for somebody that's like into the bench player on the Fever, become the Caitlin Clark defender. Just start learning boxing, jiu-jitsu, Muay Thai, whatever. And then just be an enforcer. Be the Charles Oakley... that just goes out there and beats the shit out of girls that try to go out at Caitlin.

Deebo Samuel is fat and slow now

I never said specifically that he was fat. I just referred to him as Fat Deebo. He's fat. He could be also everyone who's going just send screenshots of how fat I am... Fat Deebo rolls off the tongue. At least you got Fat Deebo.

I am officially the best bunter in Major League Baseball history

I do say this though. I do say I'm the best bunter in major league history... I had one bunt attempt got it down. So. Anytime big situations, I always say I'm the best bunner in major league history. You ready to, can't take that away from me. I'm one for one.

Magnus Carlsen is no longer the GOAT of chess because he keeps losing.

I'm gonna say right now, Magnus [Carlsen] not the best. 'cause I have been watching chess religiously for almost 48 hours now. And all I've seen is Magnus lost.