Takes

Chris Paul is going to win a championship with the Washington Wizards.

I don't think that this is a buyout situation. I think that Chris Paul's gonna win a championship in DC.

Ja Morant flashes guns on Instagram Live as a safety precaution to deter potential threats.

I kind of get why he's flashing a gun on Instagram live. Because his location is revealed. He wants anyone watching his Instagram live to know that he's strapped. It's a safety thing.

Any player who wins World Series MVP should automatically be inducted into that team's Hall of Fame.

Any World Series MVP for any baseball team should be in that baseball team's Hall of Fame. [David Freese] said he hadn't earned it... but if you're a World Series MVP, you've earned the Hall of Fame. There's plenty of other Cardinals players that aren't World Series MVPs in the Cardinals Hall of Fame.

The next US Men's National Team World Cup cycle will be a failure if they don't reach the quarterfinals.

Next world Cup. It's our year. If they don't get to at least the Elite eight... I'm sick of it. That's it. They need to get to the quarter finals. If they don't then it's a failure.

The Green Bay Packers are in trouble because Jordan Love is a moron.

Jordan Love posted a video today... he said Happy Father's Day to all Bears fans out there. Jordan Love is a fucking moron. So Jordan love basically called Bears fans his dad. And it was like the first moment that I've had in a very long time where I was like, Ooh, I think things might be changing... The Packers are in trouble.

You should never mess with the IT guy in your office.

The IT guy, don't fuck with him. Don't fuck. Do not fuck with him. He knows every he can, knows everything. Get every bit of information about you. He can watch you as you surf the net.

Anyone named Kyle is likely crazy and not to be messed with.

Anyone named Kyle. Don't fuck with them. Kyle's, Kyle's are fucking crazy. Kyle's got... the sickest sound system in his car. Your parents tell you not to hang out with Kyle's. You don't want to. Yeah, because he'll get you in trouble.

Internet shows fail when they try to mimic the high-production look of TV.

I always think that as when people try to do internet shows that look like TV shows, they fail. Right. Because the internet, there should be a little bit more, there shouldn't be as much of a barrier between you and the audience.

Justin Fields is absolutely 'the guy' for the Chicago Bears and the best quarterback the franchise has ever seen.

Justin Fields is the guy. I don't even really understand Bears fans that have like the other side of the argument. Like, what have you been watching your whole life? Those Jay Cutler years where we threw like 22 touchdowns and 16 picks, that's the best quarterback play that we've ever seen by far. Now with Justin Fields flying around... waking up on Sunday and being excited to watch the Bears play football is not a normal feeling.

Outside of 2005, the Chicago White Sox's history of futility statistically defies logic.

Take 2005 out of it. The White Sox have not won a playoff series in my entire life. I'm 37 years old, they've won a playoff series in one year of my entire life. If you really look at the history of how sort of oscillating between like mid and being ass cheeks they are, it statistically it defies everything.

A guy with cauliflower ear is the number one person you never want to mess with.

Guy with cauliflower ear. Done. You see cauliflower ear, you turn around. It's an absolute red blinking sign that says, do not fuck with this guy, because you know he's been in some shit.

You should never mess with a guy wearing Black Air Force Ones.

A guy wearing Black Air Force ones. You don't want to fuck with them. Imagine your daughter comes home from school... 'Who's taking you [to prom]?' 'It's Kyle.' Oh my god. [He's wearing Black Air Force Ones]. Kyle leaves his house... he's in other people's basements all the time. He has nothing to lose. Zero to lose.

California teenagers are some of the scariest people you can encounter.

Don't fuck with California teenagers. They're scary. They're way cooler than you. They'll TikTok in your face. Smash you in the head with their skateboard or fucking steal your wallet.

Nikola Jokic isn't 'trying' to not care; he's just being an honest guy who wants to see his horses

I don't think Jokic is doing, he's just being himself. It's not like he's going online being like, Ooh, am I getting points for not caring. Like he's just being an honest guy. The guy wants to see his horses. He's not doing this for some payoff where it's like he's gonna gain some points.

Las Vegas residents should boycott Oakland Athletics games in solidarity with Oakland fans

If I lived in Las Vegas, I would not go to an Oakland Athletics game once they moved to town. I think Las Vegas needs to stand, or at least threatened to stand with Oakland fans. It just feels dirty. I would not be comfortable supporting that.

I'm betting Tennessee at 8-1 to win the College World Series

I'm thinking about driving over to New Jersey and betting the College World Series. I think I'm gonna go Ball for life and take Tennessee eight to one.

The losing team of Mount Rushmore season must do a 24-hour solitary confinement stream in a white padded room

The punishment that I am offering up for Mount Rushmore season is the losing team has to do a 24-hour stream in a white padded room. Solitary confinement. Obviously you're not solitary because you're with someone else. 24 hours. Nothing else in the room.

I have probably walked by at least six serial killers in my lifetime

Number of serial killers walked by. I think it's over three people. Holy shit, six. I like that because then it's like, holy shit.

I am in the top 1% of Max Action watchers in the world

I think I'm top 1% of Max Action. I think I would be in the world. I don't know what else I could say I'm top 1% in. But watching Max Action is there.

I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else in the PMT room

Chicken wings eaten. I bet you I'd be topping this room. I think I've eaten way more chicken wings than anybody else here.

The characters in Succession will always lose, and they should lose because they're dead inside

The cycle will continue. These people [the Roys] will always lose. They should lose. They're dead inside. And that's what you're gonna have to live with. I remember a friend of mine, they're in the middle of the season, he's like, I feel like I'm caring too much about all these characters now. I'm like, just hold away from, these guys are still gonna be [losing] at the end.

The Denver Nuggets are going to be a dynasty

I think the Nuggets are going Dynasty. I thought the first who'd they play first? Timberwolves... these guys are gonna win the entire thing. And not only that, they're, no one's gonna even come close to him. I don't think anyone's gonna come close.

Man on Fire is the best Denzel Washington movie to sit down and rewatch

Man On Fire. I love this movie. It might be my favorite like sit down and rewatch Denzel movie. This movie is a yet you jack the fuck up. I'm gonna give 'em both Five outta five balls.

Man on Fire is the perfect plane movie

You know what this is? It's also a perfect plane movie. If you're looking to kill, go like a three hour plane ride, man on fire every time. And you can watch it every time you're on a plane.

Billy Football's dog definitely thinks that Billy is a bitch

You know what? Billy's dog definitely thinks that Billy's a bitch. Billy's dog is like, 'Dude, we could have handled [the geese].'

Orcas are attacking boats to train their young to hunt, not for revenge

Update on those orca attacks. Turns out the orcas may be using the boats that they're attacking to train the younger orcas, how to hunt. It may not be some sort of retribution situation.

Nikola Jokic is the greatest value pick in NBA history

Jokic I think now goes down is the best value pick in NBA history without a doubt... he's a better value than all these [Steve Nash, Giannis] because he went 41st overall in the draft.

Michael Jordan was a better value pick at number three than Jokic was at 41

I still think Michael Jordan not being picked first overall and what he did becoming the best player of all time. That's a better value pick at three.

The era of the NBA super team is officially dead

it's the official death of super teams as well. We declare that because... homegrown super teams don't play anymore. We had a decade of super teams. It's over.

The Nuggets need to win at least three championships to be considered true champions in my book.

They need to win at least three [championships] in order to be considered True Champions in our book because they've got Jokic and Aaron Gordon, who are both 27. Murray is 25 years old. Michael Michael Porter Jr. who actually stepped up in the last game. ... So they've got a good young core.

The Golden Knights winning the Stanley Cup in six years cements hockey in the desert in a way the Coyotes never could.

The Las Vegas Golden Knights Stanley Cup champions. ... It's incredible. I mean, and to be in two Stanley Cup final in that time. ... What a way to cement hockey in the desert. And this is what the Coyotes never could do.

The Buffalo Bills' dynasty is on the Hot Seat following Stefon Diggs' absence

My Hot Seat is the Bills Dynasty. Stefon Diggs no-showed for off season training program. They asked McDermott about it and he said he was concerned about it.

Anything over 60 degrees in England is considered boiling hot.

If you're a British person, you shouldn't be out in the sun to begin with. ... You have to judge it on a slid scale. Come on. Anything above over 60 degrees in England is, is boiling hot.

Novak Djokovic is the undisputed greatest tennis player of all time

Djokovic won the French Open. He has 23 Grand Slams. He's the greatest tennis player of all time... He is the greatest. And I can't wait to win more... feels good to be vindicated that I was right all along.

D3 football is better at molding young men than D1 football

So D3 football is actually better than D1 football... In terms of molding young men probably. Because I would end up, if I tried walking on a D1, I'd see D1 parties and be like, oh shit, why am I doing this?

My struggles in Majors are due to being too anxious and trying too hard

I can just tell I'm like more anxious, trying too hard... it's not a mental block. It's like I know what I'm doing but I just feel more like high strung, more wound up instead of just playing golf.

Most casual golf fans don't care about the golf ball being too good or moving too far.

I just don't think that for the majority of the fans that [the golf ball being too good] that big of a deal. And so it's, I'm just a little bit, I'm, I'm not so sure where I stand on it. ... I just don't know any of my many friends who casually watch golf who have themselves, 'I'm not turning this shit on on Sunday. I'm so fucking sick of watching Rory McIlroy hit Driver and then a wedge.'

The winning score of the 2023 US Open will be 6 to 8 under par

I think honestly I think winner will probably be six to eight under.

I am going to win the US Open this weekend

[PFT: Are you gonna win?] Brooks Koepka: I mean, that's why I'm on here. Yeah.

I want to finish my career with at least 10 major championship wins.

Double digits man. That's where honestly, that's what I want. ... because I think what only three guys have ever had double digits.

The NBA Finals were officially over the moment Nikola Jokic picked up his fifth foul and the Heat still couldn't take the lead.

Friday night we had a little Scott Foster. Jokic gets his fifth foul on a phantom foul... They take Jokic out in the fourth quarter with the Nuggets up 10 with nine minutes left. He doesn't come back in for another five and a half minutes. And the Nuggets were up nine when he came back in. So that was it. That was the moment that the series was officially over.

The Denver Nuggets winning the 2023 NBA Finals is the start of a dynasty

This is the start of the dynasty. This is, this is merely, but the first chapter that we're writing with Nuggets. If, you don't get three titles then. It's a failure.

Heat culture is dead; it has been replaced by Nuggets culture.

It's almost like the Nuggets have out-Heat-cultured Heat culture in this series to a certain extent by having those role players. It's this Nuggets culture that's winning this. ... This is Heat culture's dead. Nuggets culture. Viva la Nuggets culture.

Baby Gronk's football career will not go past high school without elite size and speed

If baby Gronk isn't big and fast and, and and tall enough, it doesn't matter if he's really, really good, just like you said, like it, it won't matter. It, his career will, will not go any further than, than high school football because that's just how football works.

I do not believe that Baby Gronk actually has any official college scholarship offers.

The offers that he's getting from these schools are definitely a hundred percent not true. ... I don't believe that Baby Gronk has any offers right now. Although I will say James Madison University, I would like to offer Baby Gronk a scholarship to JMU.

I could beat up any legit 10-year-old in the world

People were saying that baby Gronk could beat me up, not a chance in the world. I would beat the shit outta baby Gronk. Like if it was one-on-one, me and him in a cage match, I would make him tap. It'd be, it'd be so easy. No, I could beat up any 10 year old in the world. Any 10 year old in the world.

Having children is the most selfless thing you can do

It's actually the most selfless thing that you can do. You know, I always feel like I'm speaking for myself to anybody else because you know, everybody has their own reasons behind it. But like, I feel incredibly selfish in a way that sometimes I have a hard time thinking about it.

Every 23-year-old at their first job is dumb and thinks their situation is permanent

When you're 23, you're dumb. And I think about how dumb I was and thinking like, oh, I hate my job. And then you look back and you're like, well it wasn't that bad because then you get more, you know, you, you do other things and you get more jobs and you realize like at 23, you just don't know.

It is better to be good at a shitty job than awful at a good job

I would also say that it's, it's important If, you have a job that you think sucks. It's important to have a job that sucks that you're good at because then you can take pride in, in whatever it's, you do. Like I would much rather be good at my shitty job than be awful at what some people would say would be a good job.

Finding yourself is not about searching for happiness, but about finding fulfillment and purpose in the world.

Finding yourself... is like more finding your place in the world, more finding out like what it is, what is your purpose for being here? ... Leaning less into finding happiness and more into finding fulfillment. ... Trying to figure out less of what puts a smile on your face and more of what makes you feel like a whole person.