Takes

Kyle Tucker came up small and 'sucked' in the playoffs

Kyle Tucker did have the perfect spot in game five against the Brewers and had a perfect pitch to, to, to hit an extra base hitter or a home run. And he fucking did nothing with it. Came up so small... he sucked. He was hurt, but he sucked. No, no. Don't give him, don't give him an out. Yeah, he sucked. He was a pussy about it.

I could still hit 4 home runs in a full MLB season today

Yeah, I do. Yeah, I do too... maybe I do have a chance. I would just need a couple ambulances. 'Cause after the games, I'm gonna have to like going to take care of my body.

The Blue Jays have no shot at beating the Dodgers in the World Series

I think [the Blue Jays] got no shot... I just don't think they have the—the Dodgers are too good. They don't have the pitching. [Kevin] Gausman would be [the Dodgers'] fifth starter.

Shohei Ohtani's three-home run and 10-strikeout game is the greatest individual performance in sports history.

I feel very comfortable saying that Shohei Ohtani hitting three home runs, pitching six shutout innings with 10 KS in an elimination game was the greatest single game performance I've ever seen a baseball player play.

The Dodgers are going to beat the fuck out of every other team in the playoffs

I think the Dodgers are gonna beat the fuck out of every other team and it's not even gonna be close.

The Dodgers vs. Brewers series is a proxy war for the future of baseball's economic system

This is not just the Brewers versus the Dodgers. This is the future of baseball as we know it in a proxy war because whoever ends up winning this series, the other side will use this when the MLB goes to a lockout and fights for a salary cap.

There is a 0% chance the Cubs resign Kyle Tucker

There's a 0% chance they resign Kyle Tucker. Kyle Tucker gave a quote after the game that has never, there's never been a guy who has been more gone than Kyle Tucker was gone in that moment... That's the most goodbye you could possibly have.

The Blue Jays are the only team with the mental criteria to beat the Dodgers in the World Series

I ran a mental simulation last night to, 'cause I was pissed off. 'cause it seems like the Dodgers were gonna win the World Series and there's nothing anybody else could do about it. I did 2000 mental simulations. I was laying in bed envisioning a team that I could picture beating the Dodgers in the World Series. And the only team that fits my mental criteria is the Blue Jays.

The Phillies' current competitive run is nearing the end

This, it's, it, it is nearing the end of our run. Like Zach Wheeler, who knows what he's gonna be when he comes back... Schwarber is probably gone. Ranger Suarez is probably gone.

Aaron Judge will never be a true Yankee unless he wins a World Series

Aaron Judge has to win. He has to. Aaron Judge will not, he will not ever be a true Yankee... [he] has to win a World Series or else. Not a true Yankee. Probably not even. I'll take him out of the Hall of Fame. I won't vote for him.

The Mets are spineless pussies who couldn't get it done

The Mets are just a bunch of spineless pussies and they just couldn't get it done. Pete Alonso was out the door before the game ended. They're gonna get their teeth kicked in by the Dodgers.

Shohei Ohtani cannot win MVP because of the constant controversies surrounding him

I mean it, you can't, if you're the MLB, you can't have Shohei Ohtani with all these controversies being the base of your league. The gambling one, yeah, maybe blame it on the interpreter. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. We're about to give this guy his fourth MVP in five years. MLB writers really need to do like justice here because they are the keepers of the game.

Kyle Schwarber should be the National League MVP

Kyle Schwarber should be MVP 'cause he hit, but we talk about that a little bit later. He, he, he, he did hit two home runs on Monday night. They were fucking mammoths.

Anyone who truly dedicates themselves to throwing a knuckleball can make it to Major League Baseball

I think anybody that really dedicates themself to throwing a knuckleball, we'll make it to major league baseball. Agreed.

Cal Raleigh should be the AL MVP

I'm not concerned with the NL race. I'm more concerned Cal Raleigh should be AL MVP. I just feel very strongly.

The Pollad family are jerks who don't care about the Minnesota Twins winning

The Twins just trading their entire team and just being shitty ownership that needs to change. ... The Pollad family. Fuck you guys. Jim Pollad, Jerk. Carl Pollad, Jerk. Jim's son Joe, Jerk. ... Putting out a team where all you're trying to do is get to the playoffs a little bit and never actually go for it, that's bullshit.

Bryce Harper is right that players are willing to lose a whole season over a salary cap.

He's right-ish... [Manfred] is pitching the salary cap right to the players circumventing the MLBPA. And it's their job to hear from the owners and then take that to the rank and file players. And then Harper's like, 'If you're gonna say that, get the fuck out.' Bryce Harper is right. Bryce is right about this... He can afford to lose 162 games. The guys at the top can afford to lose 162 games.

Getting hit by a pitch only hurts for about thirty seconds to a minute

My son looks at me, he goes, do you think that hurt? I was like, yeah, probably hurt. But it goes away after, you know, 30 seconds or a minute.

The worst team in the league should always get the #1 overall pick

The team that was the worst last year should get the best player in the draft and there should be nothing that interferes with that correlation. The lottery thing, I'm not sure that it really affects behavior of teams in any meaningful way.

Aaron Judge showed bad leadership by leaving the All-Star Game early

Bad leadership by Aaron Judge at the All Star Game. [Ohtani and Judge] were probably on a plane... it did feel like the National League manager was trying to win harder than the American League manager.

I want the Brewers' pitcher Brody Brecht to be the biggest bust in MLB history after he was selected over Ranger Suárez

I now hate this guy. I now want this guy to be the biggest bust in MLB history. Ranger Suárez has a 1.94 in 13 games... How do you possibly look at that and be like, this guy is more deserving than Ranger Suárez?

The Cincinnati Reds have an illegally flat pitching mound to gain an advantage

Cincinnati's tough. That mound is so flat. I know they're supposed to have regulations on how high the mound is, but whatever they're doing, they're cheating for sure. Because it's way lower. Our mound at home feels like a mountain compared to Cincinnati.

Cal Raleigh will hit 67 home runs this season

Cal Raleigh hit four home runs this weekend... he's now on pace for 67 home runs, which is pretty fucking insane. ... He's gonna hit 67 home runs.

Aaron Judge is not a true Yankee because he hasn't won a World Series

I would go even further and say he's [Aaron Judge] not a true Yankee. Which is funny because he's had some of the best seasons of all time by any offensive player. Still not a true Yankee... You can't be a true Yankee in the regular season. The Yankees season starts in October.

Zach Hampel is the best of all time at ball-hawking and deserves respect for his greatness

Listen, I, I know Zach Hampel's a very controversial, actually, he's not controversial. Everyone just hates him. He's, he's the best to ever do it... When did we stop respecting greatness?... He's literally the best to ever do it. What he does, he is the best of all time at.

Bubba Chandler will win NL Rookie of the Year and eventually be better than Paul Skenes

Bubba Chandler with the Pirates... Fastball up to a hundred now. Great breaking stuff, good control and commit. I picked him to win Rookie of the year this year. [He texted Paul Skenes] enjoy it while it lasts because next year I'm going to be starting opening day.

The Washington Nationals will sneakily compete for a wild card spot

I think the Washington Nationals are going to sneaky compete for a wild card spot. That's my wild prediction. They won't be out of it in September.

Juan Soto will sign with the Boston Red Sox

I'm seeing some tweets. I'm seeing some reports... Juan Soto's sister looking at apartments in Boston... Mick Kirk Han guy reported that he's a hundred percent signing with the Red Sox... I've just convinced myself we're getting Soto.

To get college hitters out, throw slow fastballs (45 mph) down the middle

My advice would be to throw it very slow. The slower... once you get to like 65, 70 miles an hour, that's when guys are gonna start unleashing on it. My advice would be to hone in a really slow pitch over the zone. If you can like dial in a 45 mile an hour fastball and throw it on the two seams, don't throw it on the four seams, throw it on the two seams, it'll cut for you and do some cool sinking stuff.

Juan Soto will sign a contract worth $700 million

I think he's gonna get 700 million. Yeah... I think he's gonna get a stupid amount of money. But the fact that the way he's going about it just means that like, yeah, it doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck who's giving him this money.

The two Yankees fans who interfered with Mookie Betts are responsible for the Yankees winning Game 4

Those guys sparked the Yankees. Like I believe that those guys are responsible for this win in those bats waking up because basically the, all the Yankee fans sitting in, in Yankee stadium tonight were like, do something. And the Capobianco brothers are like, you know what? We'll do something.

Aaron Judge is a regular season merchant who doesn't show up in the playoffs

The Yankees are just like Aaron Judge is a regular season merchant. All he does is hit home runs in the regular season, doesn't show up in the playoffs. Like that's a and and if there's one fanbase that will not tolerate that, it's the New York Yankees.

Juan Soto's next contract could reach $750 million or even $1 billion.

Soto, it feels like, loves New York and it's going to be a literal bidding war between the Mets and the Yankees... Juan Soto signs for 12 years. A billion dollars. I mean... Soto could get like 13 years, 750 million.

The Phillies are in a downhill spiral and their window is closed

Philly's lost the game. They looked like shit. It's exact same thing that went on from 2009 to 2011 of the Phillies... and then what I am saying, yes, it is the same thing. Like it is just a downhill spiral with no World Series. There's no hope. There's no hope. And the window's closed for every team.

The Phillies are dead and they are a soft baseball team

The Phillies are dead... The Phillies are a soft baseball team. The Mets are a hard baseball team. They're a tough baseball team. They come back from things. And the Phillies just don't, they just die.

The Phillies will lose to the Mets in five games

I mean, it's, it's going to go five. The Phillies are gonna go up 2-1. I'm going be comfortable... then the Mets are gonna have a heroic comeback in game four and then game five, they're just gonna smoke us and it's gonna be, it'll be like 4-0 Mets in game five. That's how it's gonna go.

Shohei Ohtani is the best baseball player of all time

I'd say that this, he is the best baseball player of all time. Whether or not he'll have the best career of all time is kind of up for grabs. But we've never seen anybody that's doing what he's doing.

The New York Yankees need to extend Aaron Boone immediately to show they believe in him

I think that you have to give Aaron Boone an extension and show that you believe in him. And then the rest of the the clubhouse is gonna truly believe in him too. Then you'll be fine.

Pete Alonzo is the biggest loser in sports during the Home Run Derby

Pete Alonzo with the home run Derby is the worst. He is the biggest loser in sports when the Home Run Derby comes around. ... He, dude, he gets laser focused. He meditates backstage. He goes into like a little panic room by himself in between rounds and just focuses and visualize home runs. And the home run derby isn't even that fun anymore.

Ippei Mizuhara is the greatest Fall Guy Hall of Famer of all time

Ippei is came out and he's guilty or he's admitted guilt... If he is a fall guy, I think he is the best fall guy of all time. Ever. Fall Guy Hall of Fame.

Major League Baseball is only integrating Negro League stats to make themselves look like the good guy

The weird part to me is MLB segregated the black players. Told them they cannot play in the M lb. Yes. Created, like, made them create their own leagues because like you cannot play. We're keeping you out. And now 80 years later, they're basically inheriting their statistics and putting them on the MLB website and almost erasing it. Like the Negro Leagues being like Oh. yeah. It's all part of MLB. ... It feels like they're just kind of patting the Negro Leagues on the head being like, these are ours now.

Shohei Ohtani was likely gambling and is using Ippei Mizuhara as a cover

I think he was gambling... I think they just want the chaos. But I think that's crazy to accuse unless like they did a full investigation and he's clear.

Moving the Oakland A's to Las Vegas should be illegal

It should be illegal. What he's doing, he's, he's taking away joy from an entire city... He's taking away the community because he wants to make a little bit more money. Even though this, this guy, he's, he's a fail son.

Babe Ruth would stink if he played in the MLB today

If you had Babe Ruth playing baseball today right now, he would stink... I think if you gave Babe Ruth this guy with immense physical talent, the ability to adjust, then he would be a really good baseball player. But if you took 1927 Babe Ruth and dropped him into the big leagues today, he'd be down in AAA.

Steroid users like Barry Bonds belong in the Hall of Fame

Barry Bonds is the best hitter I have ever seen. It's honestly, it's not even close... The Hall of Fame especially is not [sacred]. The Hall of Fame is a museum that should celebrate the good, bad, and ugly of the sport.

The Phillies hanging a banner for losing the NLCS is pathetic loser behavior

They didn't even win the division. They were like, they won nothing. They hung like, I don't know what, like... it's the most pathetic thing I've ever seen. I am. I might go, go to Citizen's Bank Park, scale that poll and take it down myself. All right.

The MLB will eventually sweep the Shohei Ohtani gambling investigation under the rug

I do think the MLB's just gonna sweep it under the rug. Of course they [will]. It's like, it's almost done. I'm telling you. I think it might be done. They're gonna reinstate Pete Rose and they'll be like under the new rules Shohei did very little wrong.

I believe Shohei Ohtani's story about Ippei Mizuhara stealing his money

Shohei, I believe him. I don't know why... but I just think like, I'm gonna believe him until they do the forensic accounting. I'm waiting for the forensic accounting to come out.

MLB will avoid banning Shohei Ohtani because he is too valuable to the league's revenue

It seems to me like baseball, given how much money they stand to make from Ohtani, really does not want to have to treat Ohtani like they would anyone. Can you imagine if it was a utility player that paid off four and a half million dollars? How fast would that guy be banned for baseball for life?

I'm betting $100,000 total against the Oakland Athletics this season

I think I'm gonna bet a hundred thousand dollars total against either the Athletics or the Chicago White Sox every single game this season... officially decided I'm betting a hundred thousand dollars against the Athletics.