Takes

Teams should only celebrate clinching the division, not the Wild Card or DS

Clinching the playoffs is absolutely celebration worthy... I think when you win the wild card division series, it's like, this should be business as usual. Like we are, we're here now to win a championship. Let's focus on that.

Shohei Ohtani cannot win MVP because of the constant controversies surrounding him

I mean it, you can't, if you're the MLB, you can't have Shohei Ohtani with all these controversies being the base of your league. The gambling one, yeah, maybe blame it on the interpreter. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice. We're about to give this guy his fourth MVP in five years. MLB writers really need to do like justice here because they are the keepers of the game.

Bryce Harper is right that players are willing to lose a whole season over a salary cap.

He's right-ish... [Manfred] is pitching the salary cap right to the players circumventing the MLBPA. And it's their job to hear from the owners and then take that to the rank and file players. And then Harper's like, 'If you're gonna say that, get the fuck out.' Bryce Harper is right. Bryce is right about this... He can afford to lose 162 games. The guys at the top can afford to lose 162 games.

The walk-off catcher's interference rule is a stupid rule

I mean there's no, there's not much Hot Seat. It's just a stupid rule... Lost on walk off catcher's interference. Second time it's ever happened in MLB history. First time since 1971. The problem was the catcher just stuck it... It was technically letter of the law catcher's interference.

I have no confidence in the Phillies right now

I, I, I'm, I'm tuned in. I watch every game. It's just, I, it's, I don't know. They're frustrating squad... Dude, I just don't have a lot of confidence in this, in this team right now.

Christian Yelich is going to win the MLB Home Run Derby

When I was in Milwaukee, all the brewers, like almost every single brewer when I walked by said, Christian Yelich is gonna win the home run derby this year. It's disgusting.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

The MLB must fire any umpire who shares a gambling account

The MLB had to fire a ref because he was umpire sharing — sorry, umpire. He was sharing a gambling account with another gambler who was gambling on baseball... even if the MLB was like, we don't even care about the whole betting part or the baseball thing, we can't have people employed by us who think it's okay to share a gambling account.

The Yankees lost Juan Soto because they were disrespectful regarding family suites

The Yankees lost out on a generational talent just because they were disrespectful... The Yankees wouldn't budge on giving Juan Soto a suite in Yankee Stadium saying that if they don't do it for Derek Jeter, they're not gonna do it for him.

Juan Soto will sign a contract worth $700 million

I think he's gonna get 700 million. Yeah... I think he's gonna get a stupid amount of money. But the fact that the way he's going about it just means that like, yeah, it doesn't, he doesn't give a fuck who's giving him this money.

If Tarik Skubal gets traded to the Dodgers, my Cy Young bet is in trouble

Tarik Skubal, who is the presumptive Cy Young favorite... is possibly gonna get traded... I bet it right then and there. So I have plus 400. I think he's like minus 125 now. But he might get traded to the Dodgers. If he gets traded to the Dodgers, I'm fucked. You don't want him in the National League. They only base their voting on what you did in your new league.

The Phillies are a lock to reach the NLCS

The Phillies would have to really fuck up not to be in at least the NLCS because the NL is trash... they will be in big playoff games... there's no way that they're not gonna be in big playoff games... the Phillies will be in the NLCS. It would be you. I don't know if they'll win the NLCS. Yeah, that's gonna be a tough series... but the way the NL is set up. I think they will be in the NLCS.

The MLB playoffs are stupid because too many bad teams are alive for the wild card

The Major League baseball completely fucked up the playoffs with this wild card. It's so stupid because now everyone's alive... I don't like that they did this in the NBA either. I think that there should be a rule where if you're beneath 500, you shouldn't even be listed in the wild card possibilities.

Ippei Mizuhara is the greatest Fall Guy Hall of Famer of all time

Ippei is came out and he's guilty or he's admitted guilt... If he is a fall guy, I think he is the best fall guy of all time. Ever. Fall Guy Hall of Fame.

I will no longer praise the food at Guaranteed Rate Field because Jerry Reinsdorf is a bad owner

I'm no longer gonna say that [the food is good] because that's what Jerry Reinsdorf wants you to say... It doesn't matter what happens on the field. We got great food, we got great beer... I can no longer say that I'm gonna stand with White Sox fans. I will no longer plug the fact that going to a game there is actually fun.

Fanatics MLB jerseys are complete pieces of shit

It's starting to bother me now that I'm watching a little more baseball. Just like not being able to read the pitcher's jersey. And it seems like every single night there's a new example of the jerseys just being pieces of shit.

I am officially over no-hitters

I'm so over no hitters. Remember when no hitters used to be like you, they'd even go to bonus coverage... I became over no hitters at right at opening Day 2023.

The Blue Jays should be eliminated from the Shohei Ohtani sweepstakes for leaking their meeting

It came out that Shhe... visiting with the Blue Jays. And I think by Sho Hays rules, the blue Jay should be eliminated. See you buddy. See you. Blue Jays. What?

Craig Counsell to the Cubs is a sign the team is ready to spend and compete for World Series titles again

I also think this is the sign that the Cubs are ready to start spending and start competing for World Series again. Because you're not Craig Counsell... you don't go to the Cubs, your rival... unless you have a deal in place from Jed and Tom Ricketts being like, 'Hey, we're going for this.'

The Paige Spiranac bobblehead night saved the Brewers' season

The Paige Spiranac Bobblehead completely turned around the Brewer's season... on June 16th, the Brewers hosted the Pirates... they were 34 and 34. They beat the Pirates that night... and they wound up winning the NL Central with a record of 92 and 70. And they were 58 and 36 after the Paige Spiranac Bobblehead night.

If the Orioles suspend their announcer for stating facts, they should also suspend the production truck and PR team

You're suspending the broadcaster for stating those facts. Where did he get those facts from? The truck. ... Where did the truck get those facts from? The team's pr game notes in that case. Suspend all of them. ... If you're gonna just suspend him, you gotta suspend everyone else involved with making that decision of making these facts come to light.

Shohei Ohtani's recent hitting slump is caused by the Drake curse

My Hot Seat is Shohei Ohtani. ... Drake a week ago was spotted out wearing a Shohei Ohtani jersey. And since then he is gone two for 12. So the Drake curse is back.

Aaron Judge is cheating and stealing signs again

My other hot seat was Aaron Judge got caught cheating, stealing signs again, Yankees back at it again.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are actually a really good baseball team

Just tip of the cap to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah. With the Sacramento Kings doing that nba, they've been made fun of. They've been bad. The pirates have been awful. And they're... the pirates are really good. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

The Cubs are 'sneaky' might make the playoffs this year

I also put a future on the Cubs at a hundred to one, but whatever. I think they're gonna... no, no. All right. Nevermind. That was a, I've talked myself into the Cubs being scrappy enough to make the playoffs. They're gonna be sneaky... I've now upgraded them to Sneaky might make the playoffs.

Combined no-hitters are fake and shouldn't count the same as a single-pitcher no-hitter

There are so many no-hitter. Fake ass, no-hitter mouth. No. I think it's actually history is going to look... in college baseball, it's every single day I see something else for a combined no-hitter. Well, because it's so much easier to get a combined no-hitter. That's fake. ... It doesn't feel the same. Zero hits is not the same as no hits.

The Baseball Hall of Fame is a joke because Barry Bonds is not in it

And Barry [Bonds] is not on there? This whole thing is a joke. The best player of all time is not in the fucking Hall of Fame. It's just funny that baseball writers take themselves so seriously. We just need all these guys to die and then maybe we can get the real players in the Hall of Fame.

Albert Pujols' late-career home run surge is suspicious and 'not normal'

Albert Pujols, 42 years old. July 4th he was hitting .189. And since then he leads the league in batting average and has like 11 homers. That's totally normal... Why does Sam Querrey not do fucking drugs before he retires? He should have done some fucking Winstrol.

MLB should cover up steroid use for players who are great for the game

David Ortiz was like, they, they just shouldn't suspend him because he's so good at baseball. And he is a face of the game... That's actually that's that makes more sense than what his own dad is doing. David Ortiz is right. It's like, if you're awesome at baseball, they should just cover it up.

Shohei Ohtani is on one of the most irrelevant franchises in professional sports

Show Otani has been incredible... And he just completely lost by being on like one of the more irrelevant franchises in all professionals. Like Anahi, there's no reason that nobody cares about Anaheim, right? Like they are a big market. Kind of, they stink.

The New York Yankees will win the 2022 World Series

Congratulations to the New York Yankees winners of the 2022 world series. Congratulations guys.

Pirates shortstop O'Neil Cruz is the most electric player in baseball

This guy might be the most electric player I've ever seen in my life. 6'7" he's a shortstop. He ran 31.5 miles per hour. Hardest throw by an infielder in Major League Baseball this year, he threw a ball from shortstop to first 96.7 miles per hour. I am buying all my stock and O'Neil Cruz right now.

John Sterling has become a parody of himself and needs to retire from the Yankees booth

My hot seat is John Sterling. I think this is a bit at this point... he's blind. For the third time, it wasn't even close. He needs to quickly make the decision so he can say that he's retiring... it's getting like late Francessa where if you become a parody of yourself.

Reds fans should defecate in the Toyota Tundra at the stadium to protest the owner

A Reds fan posted yesterday saying... 'I will be scaling the wall to defecate in the bed of the Toyota Tundra.' I just liked that Reds fans are fighting back. This is how you fight... maybe it will make people go shit in their trucks.

Robot umpires will ruin the fun of complaining about baseball

That's been my take for a very long time. That robot ops will ruin everything because then we won't get to have guys like Joe West that we can complain about, right?

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

Derek Jeter sabotaged the Marlins on purpose

I, you know what I agree with Marlins man. Yeah. I think Jeter fucked up the Marlins on purpose.

Home runs are going to increase because MLB stopped testing for steroids

My cool throne are yobbos, dingers, home runs, whatever you want to call them. Because for the first time in 20 years, Major League Baseball is stopping testing its players for steroids... I love it. Everybody use the ball and juice to go back and forth.

The MLB season will inevitably be delayed due to lack of progress in labor meetings

The MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association made little progress in their latest meeting, and a delay to the upcoming season feels inevitable.

The Red Sox are the best team in baseball and will win the World Series

It's just crazy that the red Sox are just going to win the world series again... They're not that good. They're not that good. Oh, but now they're just the best team in baseball. Yeah. They're like killing the Astros.

Joe West is a baseball great and deserves appreciation

Joe West is what we need. He's an all-time great. Joe West is baseball. And if you don't like Joe West, you got a dump in your pants.

Banning the shift would be awesome for baseball

He's considering banning the shift in the next year, which I think that'd be awesome to do.

Shohei Ohtani is the next Babe Ruth and exactly what baseball needs

Shohei Ohtani... he's doing it all. So he's in the Home Run Derby... then he's going to pitch in the All-Star game. And he's going DH in the All-Star game. And this guy, like this is what baseball needs. ... I'm pumped for Shohei Ohtani to be the next Babe Ruth.

Rob Manfred should refuse to drug test Shohei Ohtani for the good of the sport

Rob Manfred, do not piss test Shohei Ohtani whatever you do. I don't care what he's on right now. The only way you could fuck this up is if you stuck a little test strip into a stream of urine and then you just were just a big bummer for America.

MLB is incompetent for banning sticky substances in the middle of the season

The spider attack controversy that they knew about forever and decided, hey, we're going to now start punishing people. They went zero tolerance policy... Tyler Glasnow... is basically saying he got injured because of it... Good job, MLB. You really fucking did it again, you idiots.

Shohei Ohtani is a rare talent we must appreciate

Shohei Ohtani is one of those rare talents where I think you just got to sit back and be like, holy fuck, I can't believe this guy's doing this. ... Shohei is getting caught up [to Ronald Acuna].

Ronald Acuña Jr. is officially the face of baseball

My cool throne is baseball because we do officially—I'm ready to call it—Ronald Acuña fully the face of baseball already. I just think Ronald Acuña, like, did you see what he did? He beat out the very routine infield hit... scores tagging up from third on a pop-up to the second baseman.

Clayton Kershaw is the greatest postseason pitcher of all time

Clayton Kershaw has the most wins in my book of any starter in the last 25 years since the wild card came around. So yeah, he's he might be the best postseason pitcher out there of all time.

Lenny Dykstra's reputation is so bad that it is now a legal asset

Lenny Dykstra, it was ruled by an actual court of law in the United States that you cannot libel Lenny Dykstra because his reputation is already so bad that you can't make it worse... He shot the moon with his reputation. It's become so bad that it's actually an asset.

Tim Tebow is better at baseball than Michael Jordan was

Better than Jordan at baseball, yeah. Oh, the stats will bear me out.