Takes

Magic Johnson and Larry Bird were the first guards to have guard skills at 6'9"

Larry Bird and Magic Johnson were the first guys I ever saw six nine six ten bringing the ball up having guard skills so to be on a team with them was just awesome.

Zion Williamson is 'one bad weekend away' from being fat.

Zion Williamson, the best way to describe him is, as a bigger guy myself, he's one bad weekend away from being fat. Like, if I go one weekend where I just eat like shit, drink like shit, don't sleep very well, I'll come in Monday morning and everyone will be like, whoa, dude, what happened to you? And it can happen that fast.

The Lakers will miss LeBron James during the first round of the NBA playoffs.

Everyone out there, please remind us how much fun it's been to talk about LeBron this year because I will have a moment in the first round of the playoffs where I'll be like, I kind of wish LeBron was here.

Isaiah Thomas deserves a tribute video from the Boston Celtics

My Who's Back of the Week is Isaiah Thomas... He's playing the Celtics tonight. I think they have to play the video. He deserves a tribute video. He was a great Celtics player, and he's back tonight. I hope he gets it.

Ja Morant is the second-best player in the 2019 NBA Draft and an electric passer

I think he's the second-best player in the draft... This kid is unique because he, I got to say it the right way, he's Trey Young with more athleticism... I'd be shocked if he doesn't go two.

The Lakers are officially dead and will not make the playoffs

The Lakers, I'm done chaining them. They are five and a half games back with 18 games to play. They basically have to run the table. They have no chance. They have to run the table to sneak into that last spot. So this is going to be a total failure.

The Boston Celtics are a complete dumpster fire

Celtics are a complete dumpster fire. I don't really have any championship spin zones. I don't really have any optimistic to say about them. I'm kind of just hoping that it's like one of those things where they're just going through the motions in the regular season.

LeBron James is the best basketball player of his generation and his antics are hilarious

[LeBron] is absolutely the best player of his generation. ... My problem with LeBron lies mostly in the fact that you guys fail to see how hilarious he is. ... without LeBron James in the NBA, there would be so much less laughter.

Michael Jordan never took days off or missed games whereas LeBron James does

Michael, no matter what, he compete, no matter what. LeBron, you can see LeBron, what he's doing. He don't even play defense anymore. He don't give a fuck. Michael played every fucking day, every day, every game. LeBron's taking days off.

LeBron James will fake a season-ending injury if the Lakers miss the playoffs

As soon as it becomes like this is a realistic thing [missing the playoffs], [LeBron James] will definitely be like, oh, my hamstring hurts because too much sheesh. My groin. His groin issue. All the sheesh has added weight to my groin.

The New Orleans Pelicans are stupid if they don't sit Anthony Davis for the rest of the season

If the Pelicans don't sit him for the rest of the year, they're so stupid. Because that would be the ultimate, just having him get some kind of injury where you're like, come on, man, are you serious? You couldn't just sit him?

The Lakers will miss the NBA playoffs this season

The Los Angeles Lakers, if the playoffs started today, would not be in it. They'll be three games out after tonight's loss to the Hawks... LeBron [James] out of my arm. I don't want to miss the playoffs. Rondo hit the game winner, and it was like, well, problem solved. The Lakers are okay. And then they're out of the playoffs right now.

LeBron James screwed over the Lakers by trying to tamper for Anthony Davis

LeBron screwed the Lakers. LeBron screwed the Lakers... This was like the most blatant act of tampering of all time... And now everyone hates him on the Lakers. And it's hilarious.

The Pelicans' refusal to trade Anthony Davis was a battle of owners reasserting power over players

The ownership decided this is where it stops. This is where it all stops. It was a battle of millionaires versus people of wealth. And the people of wealth said, you know what? We care more about football than we do about the NBA.

LeBron James will fake an injury down the stretch to avoid the embarrassment of missing the playoffs

I'm predicting right now LeBron will have some kind of injury coming down the stretch... There's no way LeBron James is going to play the rest of the season and miss the playoffs. Like, willingly do that.

The Sixers are 'all in' on winning a championship this year

The Sixers are all in. They traded Markelle Fultz. They traded for Tobias Harris. They're all in. They're trying to win a championship this year.

The Knicks traded Porzingis for cap space they will definitely fail to use

The Knicks traded Kristaps to the Mavs... Basically, a cap space move... they are now going to try to go all in on Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving, name any free agent, and the Knicks will be rumored to get them. And they won't get them because James Dolan is still the owner.

LeBron James clearly tampered with Anthony Davis

Anthony Davis and LeBron James had dinner together. Wouldn't that seem kind of perfect that they waited about a month after their dinner for Anthony Davis to demand a trade? ... LeBron James probably doesn't have to pay an agent's fee. He probably owns part of Clutch Sports. And guess what? Anthony Davis is going to go to the Los Angeles Lakers... LeBron James completely tampered here.

You have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA

I would say that you'd have to be a world-class dumbass not to tamper in the NBA. If you're not tampering, you are dumber than a pile of rocks.

The Brooklyn Nets are improved and will make the playoffs

An okay team, but last year they had a few issues, is the Brooklyn Nets. I think they've improved a lot this year. And if they keep doing well, they should be able to make the playoffs.

LeBron James wants to reunion with Kyrie Irving on the Lakers

LeBron Instagram storied a song called Rewind and said, 'this is that shit, Kyrie Irving.' ... LeBron James wanted to go back in time, press that rewind button, and have Kyrie on his team.

Kawhi Leonard's house purchase in San Diego means he is going to the Clippers or Lakers

Kawhi Leonard has just bought a house for $13.3 million in Los Angeles... San Diego area. It seems like an awfully convenient time for him to do that.

I successfully recruited Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls

It took five years, but I have gotten Carmelo Anthony to the Chicago Bulls. Congratulations. Thank you. We're going to wave him, and he's never going to play for the Bulls. But I did recruit him in the summer of 2014... last laugh, me.

Derrick Rose's 'kill yourself' comment was not a slip of the tongue

Derrick Rose said, 'everyone that thinks that it's going to stop, kill yourself.' ... He then doubled down on it. He said, 'like I said before, kill yourself.' ... When you say it twice, you don't get the slip of the tongue tag. When you double down, the slip of the tongue doesn't work anymore.

Greece is the perfect place for Rick Pitino to coach

Rick Pitino's going to a place where there's a lot of backroom dealings and shady handshake deals and no one pays their taxes. Pretty good place.

The Chicago Bulls are viewed as a 'joke' around the NBA

Nick Friedell is our insider today... He said, around the league, when you go around and talk to people, the word they use talking about the Chicago Bulls is a joke.

Luke Walton's job is safe for the rest of the season

I don't see Luke Walton on the hot seat because Magic Johnson said he's going to be around for the rest of the season barring something catastrophic. So there you go.

LeBron James is dropping 'I'm washed' hints to pre-excuse not winning a title with the Lakers

LeBron, though, is definitely going to start dropping these hints to pre-excuse not winning another title. He's old. He needs help.

Bol Bol will get injured this season because he is too tall

My sit-up is Bol Bol. This guy is way too fucking tall. There's no way he makes it this whole season without getting hurt... he wears short shorts, so it makes him look even taller.

Kevin Durant is definitely leaving the Warriors in free agency

The Warriors are imploding and Kevin Durant is definitely leaving after this season in free agency and this is in no way an overreaction.

Jimmer Fredette will get another shot in the NBA

The Mormon Megalodon dropped 75 in China... He'll get another shot. I don't know about that. We'll see.

Jamal Murray will never score 50 points again after his disrespectful three-point attempt

The basketball gods are frowning on Jamal Murray... And now the basketball gods are thundering down upon Jamal Murray. He's not going to score 50 points ever this year because he tried that Mickey Mouse stunt.

LeBron James' vote of confidence for Luke Walton is a kiss of death

LeBron getting coaches fired... So he gave Luke Walton a vote of confidence. So you know what that means... Suspect kiss of death. ... You know what that means when LeBron says, no, I like Luke Walton. Yeah, you're done.

The G-League's $125k offer is a major threat to the NCAA

The G-League has come out and they have said that they are giving a $125,000 contract to players that could be eligible for the one and done and they want to skip college... This is trouble for the NCAA.

The Bucks will win over 48.5 games and win the Central Division

I have the Bucks over 48 and a half. I think the Bucks are going to be very good. I think they'll win the Central. I think Giannis is going to – do you see he shoots threes now?

The 76ers will win under 53.5 games because Joel Embiid will get injured

I have the under 76ers, 53 and a half. That's just a pure hate bias. No way they all say healthy. Embiid's probably going to get injured for 75 games.

A Jimmy Butler trade to the Heat would make them a top-four seed in the East

Jimmy Butler with the Heat, do they compete in the East? Yeah. I'd say that they're probably... Three or four seed? I'm going to go with probably the Raptors, the Celtics, the Heat.

You cannot win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your number one guy

I would not want to pay [Jimmy Butler] a max deal right now. I don't think that you can win a championship with Jimmy Butler as your one or one a guy.

DC Sports is back following Elena Delle Donne's performance and the Nationals' .500 record

My Who's Back of the Week is DC Sports. DC Sports is back. The Nats are 69-69. ... And the Mystics are still in the playoffs. Elena Delle Donne... basically broke her leg in half. ... But she came back, put the team on her goddamn back.

Dwight Howard's plan to evolve into Kevin Durant and take jumpers will be a disaster

First one is the entire NBA because Dwight Howard, his trainer, has said that Dwight Howard wants to evolve into Anthony Davis, into Kevin Durant, but his own version of that... So Dwight Howard is going to start taking jumpers, which is going to be hilarious. It's going to be fun watching him try to shoot and take shots from John Wall and Bradley Beal.

LeBron James will win exactly one more NBA championship in his career

I'll go under [1.5]. I think he has one more. But usually these guys, this means they're done. Remember the Kobe stuff? We're like, oh, nobody wants him more than Kobe. You want it all you want. This is over.

LeBron James is objectively very smart

I would say LeBron James is not dumb. I'd actually say he's very, very smart, objectively very, very smart... look at all his businesses and all that and how he's handled his entire career. He's a very smart person.

The Lakers have 14 players other than LeBron James who know how to play basketball

the narrative that LeBron James doesn't have any good teammates... super cool Michael Beasley said... you got 14 guys other than LeBron James that know how to play basketball. Also fact.

LeBron is building an 'All-Blame Team' of scapegoats to avoid criticism for the Lakers' upcoming season

I think LeBron is now just putting together the all blame team. He has put together the greatest blame team of all time. JaVale McGee, Lance Stevenson, Rondo, and Michael Beasley. LeBron James has no intentions of winning next year. He just has intentions of making sure no one blames him. He has now put together literally a super team of people that can be made fun of on Twitter so that we forget about LeBron James. He is the scapegoat.

I like the Kawhi Leonard trade for the Raptors because their old core wasn't working

I actually like this move for the Raptors because you couldn't, after you lose to LeBron 4-0 in your best season in franchise history... And everyone says these guys are a mental mess. DeMar DeRozan didn't even play in game three in crunch time. You need to do something different.

Kawhi Leonard is a top five NBA player when healthy

Kawhi is, if he's healthy, which I assume he is, is a top five NBA player. And now you have one of the best defenses in the NBA.

Adding any player to the Warriors decreases their chances of winning a title due to chemistry

Honestly, at this point with the Warriors, any addition that they make probably decreases their chances on winning another title. Because it's like they're a perfect team. So no matter who you add, there's always a small chance of it fucking up the chemistry.

The Rockets losing Trevor Ariza and gaining Carmelo Anthony has a bigger impact on the NBA title than Boogie Cousins joining the Warriors

I actually have a hot take. I think the Rockets letting Ariza go and somehow making it Michael Carter Williams or Carmelo Anthony has more of an impact on the title than Boogie Cousins.

Dwight Howard's career will end with him dominating in China

This is just one step closer to Dwight Howard's perfect ending of his career, and that's just dominating in China... Dwight Howard will go to China and be like yeah everyone loves me no one has told me to fuck off in English.

We called LeBron James signing with the Lakers before it happened

LeBron James has signed. We called that, by the way. We were way out ahead of that one, so please credit us.