Takes

NBA players are just as tough as hockey players

I think it's also that people try to, like, go at NBA players like we're soft, but we're just as tough [as hockey players].

Individual defense is a myth in the NBA; everyone is entirely dependent on team defense and big men doing their jobs.

I don't think anyone can guard anybody one-on-one in the league. It's a team defense thing... And if your big men aren't doing their job, you look bad. But if they do their job, you look good.

LeBron James is indestructible

I think he's [LeBron James] indestructible. No one's indestructible. I think LeBron is indestructible.

Kevin Durant is a 'big fucking baby'

Kevin Durant is a big fucking baby. And what did he say? He said that there was a lot of selfish guys on the Thunder... implying that the Thunder are selfish.

Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook kind of deserved each other, and it's sad to see them separated

I think Westbrook and Durant kind of deserved each other. And I'm sad that they're going to be separated because those two together, it was great TV.

It is impossible that Dwight Howard doesn't know the names of the players on the Golden State Warriors

This comes to us from Dwight Howard, who said that he couldn't name the players on the Golden State Warriors. [Big Cat/PFT]: Yeah, right. Yeah, right. Okay, Dwight... I had no idea. I don't even care about other teams. Yeah.

Dwyane Wade is the Heat's greatest player of all time, over LeBron James.

I think that Dwyane Wade was our best player of all time, obviously. [LeBron James] gave us two rings, even though he promised eight or seven. But Dwyane Wade was our best player.

Kevin Durant is a whiny baby who gets an unfair pass from the media

Kevin Durant is a fucking whiny baby. He seriously is... You were in Oklahoma City for so long, and everyone gave you a pass. LeBron James was bashed to no end for not winning a title when he was considered the best player in the NBA for a very long time.

Carmelo Anthony is too cool for the Banana Boat crew

I think Carmelo is too cool for the banana boat. I think that LeBron James, Chris Paul, Dwayne Wade, this new kind of athlete, this new super team-creating kind of athlete, they're lame. They're not hard. Carmelo's hard.

LeBron James could become the world's best 50m freestyle swimmer in two years.

[Big Cat]: If LeBron were to try his hand at swimming how long do you think it would take him to become the best in the world in the 50? [Dwyer]: 50? Two years. That guy's pretty athletic.

LeBron James could be the fastest sprinter in the world if he wanted to

You have to imagine that if LeBron James wanted to, he could be the fastest sprinter in the world.

Russell Westbrook will always do the exact opposite of what people tell him to do

Everyone just assumed [Westbrook] was going to go to L.A. And if I've learned anything about Russell Westbrook, if you tell him what he's going to do, he'll just do the exact opposite.

LeBron James is a dickhead and I would never want him on my rugby team

Probably the last person I would want is LeBron... strictly because he's a dickhead. He's a dickhead. If I had to go with anyone, it would probably be AP, Adrian Peterson. He would be good at that.

Draymond Green sending a dick pic is a 'nut shot' from the Warriors forward

Another nut shot from Draymond. Let me say that again. I stumbled over it. Another nut shot from Draymond.

LeBron James not signing with the Cavs yet is the biggest act of devastation to a city since Aaron Hernandez

If LeBron ends up not signing, I think this would be the biggest act of devastation that one player could ever cause to a franchise. And a city. Except for Aaron Hernandez.

All roads in the NBA super team era lead back to LeBron James

All roads lead to LeBron James with this super team friends and family shit. Just know that. There's always a way back to LeBron James. He started this shit and now it's corroding and polluting the NBA.

Carmelo Anthony winning gold medals means nothing because the USA should beat China by 90

I think it's fantastic that Melo is winning another gold medal. It means jack shit to me. Like, they're down there winning those games if it's a big deal. Like, you're supposed to beat China by 94. I'm not impressed that you did a 360 dunk on a 6'3 Asian basketball player.

NBA players are garbage for dunking on kids at summer camps for social media

Why do these players keep shitting all over these little guys that play $2,500 to go up to their camp and they dunk on them, they humiliate them, and then they post it all over Snapchat? All of them. It's out of control.

NBA players should have the right to choose their super teams

I do believe that grownups should have the right to decide where they work. Kevin Durant was in Oklahoma City for almost 10 years. And if he wants to go play somewhere else, it doesn't really feel good for me as some random person sitting at home and saying, you know where I think you should live your life and work every day. I'm not a big fan of like the franchise tag.

LeBron James' subtweets didn't matter during the season because the Cavaliers ultimately won the championship

I'm saying that I have so many more important things in my day to care about than like what for. ... Here's how we know [it's not a big deal]. They fucking won the NBA title. Like, that's how you know it wasn't a big deal. ... It clearly didn't matter.

Bay Area sports fans are spoiled

I think people out, the sports fans out in the Bay Area are spoiled. They obviously have the Warriors. They have the Giants who seem to win every other year. We've been pretty competitive for a while.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

The NBA players in the 80s were more authentic because they weren't friends and didn't go on 'banana boats' together

I always like when people compare the NBA today to the 80s when guys weren't friends. They were not friends. People forget that Magic and LeBron, they didn't go on—I mean, Magic and Larry Bird, they didn't go on banana boats together. It was a different era.

The three-point line has ruined basketball and should be abolished

When you really think about it, the three point line is ruined basketball. It's not about fundamentals anymore. It's all these flashy Steph Curry, three point shots. ... kids aren't learning how to play inside they're not learning the you know how to rebound how to box out some of the good things that basketball taught us

The best life to live would be as a mediocre NBA sixth man

If I had to do it all over again, I would come back as like a sixth man in the NBA. I'd work on that J. I'd get my J. We should have been these guys getting $70 million for being basically mediocre.

NBA Draft night is the most boring night of the sports year

Can I be honest with you? I think that the NBA draft night is the most boring night of the sports year. I think the ESPY night is more electric than the NBA draft night.

The NBA should draft fat guys and let them work themselves into shape

Why aren't they drafting really fat guys and saying, well, he'll lose the weight, he'll lose the weight, like he'll get in shape? That seems unfair... fat guys, they don't get the benefit of the doubt. Oh, they'll work themselves in shape. No, you never hear that.

LeBron James is the greatest of all time

LeBron James, greatest of all time. 23.

J.R. Smith should put a shirt on

J.R. Smith could stand to put a shirt on. ... I guess just because you won a championship, I guess you can be a stripper now and you can just take off your shirt.

European basketball players are inherently soft

I don't know what it is about European players, but my instinct is when everyone's taken, I'm like, wow, what a dumb pick. It doesn't matter. They're soft. That's not offensive. That's just true... All the tough guys in Europe play soccer.

LeBron James would have entertained leaving Cleveland if they had lost the 2016 Finals

I think if he didn't win the title... You know, you can put a lot of different scenarios together. I think he probably would have thought about leaving. I think obviously now winning, he can't go nowhere. But I did believe if they did lose, he would have entertained. But I thought he would try to go west.

I could still shoot 40% from three-point range today despite not playing for 18 months

I haven't touched the ball in 18 months. So, maybe 40. I'm not even giving myself 50%. Maybe 40%. I mean, I ain't touched the ball in 18 months. You know, I mean, it's going to take me a while to get back in routine.

The Under Armour curse is real and we are currently living in its golden age

Anytime a good team loses, you got to ask what the curse is. I think it's definitely the Under Armour curse. It lives on. [Jordan] Spieth struck out big time at the U.S. Open... Cam Newton, Steph Curry... I think we're living in the golden age of the Under Armour curse. So I don't like to brag, but between that and me leaving my wallet at the queue, I feel like this whole postseason has really vindicated my whole worldview.

Kyrie Irving should have won Finals MVP over LeBron James

Kyrie Irving should have won MVP. He was the best player on the court. He basically won it for LeBron, not to get nitpicky here.

I officially hate Steph Curry for being a sore loser

By the end of this finals, I truly do hate him. I can't stand him anymore. He complains about every call. He got a little too cute out there sometimes with the behind-the-back pass. The whole meltdown when he threw the mouth guard... You can't be America's sweetheart when it's all going well and then have these public meltdowns when things turn on you. It's a sore loser thing. So I think I officially hate Steph Curry.

The NBA isn't rigged, but the league got the 7-game series they wanted

Is the NBA rigged? No. But? Did I insinuate a but? That was not my intention. No, I think in this series, they got what they wanted. Absolutely. You know, they got, they got the seven games, but I don't, I'm not buying into that conspiracy theory.

The NBA is becoming 'racist' against tall players as the league trends smaller

Do you think that the NBA is becoming more racist against tall people like yourself? Yeah, I actually tweeted something about that the other night. Free the bigs. It's time that we need to band together as big guys for the sake of our species going forward.

Allen Iverson would never have gotten off the bench in my dad's era because he carried the ball too much

My dad swore that Allen Iverson would never have gotten off the bench in his day because he carries the ball too much. My dad doesn't like watching basketball anymore because in his day, you couldn't put your hand on the side of the ball... It was just a league full of guys bouncing the ball straight up and down.

LeBron James is the best athlete in the world

Well, we've actually argued about this in terms of LeBron's athleticism. I don't think there's a better athlete in shape dominating their sport like LeBron... we thought LeBron would be the best at that [playing other sports].

The last two minutes of a basketball game are the worst part of sports

The worst. The last two minutes of the game.

Kyrie Irving's Game 5 performance was more impressive than Steph Curry's typical hot streaks

This is a hot take that I actually think is correct. What Kyrie did game five was more impressive than like when Steph Curry goes off. Because when Steph Curry goes off, he hits a lot of threes... Kyrie was hitting everything. He was hitting floaters. He was hitting jumpers. He was going to the rim.

If a ball handler gets switched onto you in pickup basketball, you should foul them immediately to look like a tough guy

When I play pickup basketball... if they'll do pick and roll and then you get a ball handler on me. I basically just jump on them right away. You just got to foul them right away because what are the results? Either they score, you break your ankles, you look like an idiot, or you foul them and hurt them a little bit, and now you're the tough guy.

Draymond Green was secretly rooting against the Warriors in Game 5 so he wouldn't miss the clinching moment

I think Draymond was probably rooting against the Warriors I don't think that's that crazy... Draymond is the kind of guy that he's a little bit more out there emotionally. He's the kind of guy that might feel slighted if he's not part of that winning moment.

The NBA suspended Draymond Green specifically to extend the Finals for ratings

Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy says that the NBA suspended Draymond Green to try to extend the series to get higher ratings and more money. You think? No, duh.

The 1996 Bulls would beat the modern Warriors

I'd be shocked if the Warriors won it. I just look at the defensive matchups... Dennis Rodman is going to just, I think, negate Draymond Green. And then you bring in – when you have Scottie Pippen, who would look forward to covering these guys.

Michael Jordan never lost and probably would have won eight straight NBA titles if he chose to

When you look at Michael Jordan... [he] never lost period. And he probably would have won eight in a row if he chose to.

Steph Curry's low-top shoes are sleek and the safest shoes to wear to avoid getting robbed

I like Steph Curry's shoes. I'm here to say that they're sleek... there's no chance that a teenager will ever hit me with 'what are those' if I'm wearing the Steph Curry Lowe's... You also probably won't get knocked out and have your shoes stolen from you, which is also a plus... wear the Steph Currys, be the safest guy in the world.

Professional athletes should never smile after a loss; they should be as angry as the fans

I don't like my sports guys. I don't like them smiling after a loss. They need to be just as mad as I am. They need to kick some things. They need to maybe get too drunk, throw things at the camera... They can't smile after a loss.

Magic Johnson's analysis is just stating the obvious: If Steph Curry and Klay Thompson don't play well, the Warriors won't win

If Steph and Klay don't have big games in game four, there's no way they can win in Cleveland, and the series will go back to Golden State tied 2-2. That would be our good friend Magic. He is saying that the two best players on the Warriors need to play well for them to win a game in the finals.