Takes

The Capitals are finally in the right position to win because they've become a 'switch-flipping' team like LeBron James.

I personally feel that [the Capitals] are in the right spot right now. They're a switch-flipping team. Like LeBron James flips a switch when they go to the playoffs. The Caps are flipping the switch.

The Capitals will lose in the second round because they can't beat the Penguins

They have to play Pittsburgh and they can't beat them... Malkin won't lose to Ovechkin. So unless Pittsburgh gets upset in the first round, they're done. I mean, they will lose in the second round.

The Golden Knights will lose in the first round of the playoffs

I've stuck by my guns that they're going to lose in the first round. I'm just staying on it. I don't think they can match up with a team who has, like, a superstar.

Nashville and Tampa Bay will play in the Stanley Cup Final, and Nashville will win

I have money on Nashville. I've had it for a while. They're my pick at the beginning of the year. Them and Tampa to play each other. Nashville is a wagon.

The Washington Capitals winning the Metropolitan Division means it is their year to win the Cup

Other big news, Caps won the Metro. Yeah, it's our year.

The Washington Capitals will win the Stanley Cup this year

I am officially, without any sarcasm whatsoever... I think it is the Caps year... This is the Caps year.

I bet $100 on the Washington Capitals to win the Stanley Cup

I had Hank get us a future. Me, Bubba, and Hank each put in $100. We got a future... The Washington Capitals outright winner... We'll win $4,800 if they win.

US Women's Hockey beating Canada is more meaningful because hockey is all they have

It just feels good to beat Canada because you know in hockey, that's all they have. It bothers them a lot. And Canadians can't get bothered... We know you're bothered. We know you're triggered right now.

The success of the Golden Knights makes the rest of the NHL look bad for giving up those players

It's kind of going to make the rest of the league look really bad because all the other teams gave up all these guys, and they're all like the quote-unquote NHL rejects.

The Blackhawks core will be fine after a full summer to recharge

That core group of players has played a lot of hockey over the last eight or nine years... they're not getting that summer, the proper summer training... I think they're going to be okay.

The Nashville Predators or Pittsburgh Penguins will win the 2018 Stanley Cup

If I had to go gun to your head... safe bet, I'd probably pick Nashville. East is going to be tough. Let's go, I'll say Pittsburgh again.

I will eat horse shit if the Washington Capitals win the Stanley Cup

I actually stand with the guy [in Philly] who ate the poop... If the Washington Capitals win the Stanley Cup, I will eat horse shit.

The NHL is a money laundering operation for Russia

If you were to run the NHL as a money laundering operation, you would not do anything differently than Gary Bettman has done in the last 10 years... I'm guessing it's some sort of a money laundering scheme from Russia. That's the only thing I can come up with.

The Olympic hockey committee ruining the games by banning NHL players is a joke

It's a joke. You can't. The NHL asked if they could at least show the videos from the Olympics, which you can't do. They wanted the NHL logos on the board. They wouldn't do that. So at some point it's both sides, but it does suck for the game.

Russia is the heavy favorite to win Olympic Gold with no NHL players involved

Unfortunately, it's Russia. They're going to win and then they're going to take the flag out and they won't play an anthem. But it's going to be pretty crazy to see because they're loaded. They got all these guys over there that never, I mean, some of them couldn't play in the NHL because there's a chance of them could. They're playing in the KHL.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are the best team in the NHL and my Stanley Cup pick

Yeah, they were my Cup pick. I think I picked them when I came on your show, fellas. They're nasty. They have four legit superstars. Hedman, Stamkos, Kucherov, and their goalie, Vasilevskiy. They're the best team in the NHL, for sure.

The Pittsburgh Penguins might miss the 2018 playoffs

That's how it looks right now [that the Penguins won't make the playoffs]. I refuse to believe it because even though they're in last or second to last in the division, they're only like five or six points out... But they look like they're in a bad place right now.

Evgeni Malkin is a traitor for joining a pro-Putin social campaign

Evgeni Malkin... listen to the balls on this motherfucker. He is joining a pro-Putin social campaign in America... Malkin, as far as I know, is the one who started it. This son of a bitch is basically a traitor. And he's propping up a dictator who goes after journalists.

Tampa Bay is going to win the Stanley Cup

Tampa's nasty. Tampa's going to win the cup.

I'm hammering the Vegas Golden Knights at home whenever their opponent has a night off in Vegas beforehand

Whenever a team has a day in Vegas, I just bet the Golden Knights, and they've been great. People get fucked up there. In Vegas? No. It's an 82-game season. You get there, you're just going to rip it up.

Coyotes rookie Clayton Keller is so skilled he should have been a lacrosse player

I'll give you Clayton Keller, and since he's on Phoenix, Arizona Coyotes, nobody will really know him. Clayton Keller. That guy's lacrosse. He should have been a lacrosse player, yeah.

The Phoenix Coyotes 90s jersey is the worst of all time

And then my four is probably the worst jersey of all time, the Phoenix Coyotes. You remember that one? That was awful. That was the most disgusting jersey I've ever seen in my life.

Yellow jerseys are disgusting and make for a bad viewing experience

My number two is the Nashville Predators. I just hate yellow. I hate when they're playing games and their whole arena is yellow. It just looks disgusting.

The Vegas Golden Knights jerseys suck

Those jerseys suck. Bad sleeves. Suck. It's like they tried to get as many colors as they could fit on a sleeve... A fictional 2004 franchise in Madden has better jerseys than a 2017 real-life franchise. It's really bad.

Marian Hossa is the best player Patrick Sharp ever played with and it's not even close

Patrick Sharp, who has played on a lot of three Stanley Cup teams and Team Canada, once told me that Marian Hossa was the best player he's ever played with, and it wasn't even close.

Wayne Gretzky is the best player ever, but Sidney Crosby is the best I've ever seen

Wayne is the best player ever. But, I mean, I think – I mean, obviously, Sid, in my eyes, just because I'm – I mean, I've seen him play, and I see him every day. I think, honestly, he's the best player that I've ever seen and been able to play with.

Winning back-to-back Stanley Cups is basically cheating

I didn't know you could win back-to-back Stanley Cups, so that's kind of cheating in my mind. I hate the Blackhawks. We never knew that those rules existed.

The U.S. government should use being a hockey fan as an interrogation technique for terrorists

The United States government should make one of their new enhanced interrogation techniques for terrorists. Just make the terrorists become a hockey fan. Watch three overtimes. And then have to watch playoff games until their team loses in the Stanley Cup Finals.

The Stanley Cup is the best trophy in all of sports

The Stanley Cup itself is the best trophy in all of sports. I think we can all agree on that.

Sidney Crosby is the biggest thug in hockey

Is Sidney Crosby the biggest thug in hockey? He did two things tonight... He dribbled P.K. Subban's face off the ice like it was Deron Williams just dribbling out of bounds... And he threw a water bottle onto the ice during play. Wow. Dangerous.

There is a 30% chance Alex Ovechkin gets traded this offseason

Do you think that that's [Ovechkin being traded] really going to happen? I would say it's like 30% chance of happening. But that's 29% more than last year... I wouldn't be shocked, put it that way.

The 2017 Stanley Cup Final will go to seven games

Where do you see the last three games going? I think it goes seven. I mean, you say that it looked like it wouldn't have been a long series... I think home team's going to win game five, Nashville's going to win game six, and then kind of a coin toss in game seven.

Hockey is the only sport that truly has karma

Hockey is the only sport that I think truly has karma. That's a fact. Yeah, I can go with that one.

The NHL needs another Sidney Crosby concussion to get back into the limelight

I'll tell you what we need. We need a Sidney Crosby concussion. That always gets the NHL into the limelight. Just another one of those. Even if he's not concussed, just say, yeah, he's concussed and he's actually going to skate tomorrow.

Every player on the Pittsburgh Penguins is using steroids

The Penguins did their – I think everybody on the Penguins is using steroids. I'm going to put it out there. You know what? I think that's the only explanation. They're really good in game sevens when the other team is always super tired. I'm putting it out there. Cheaters, all of them.

I'm destined to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team

The Washington Capitals are... Our fans, we're entering cuck territory. And it's Ray Bourque all over again. So I'm destined over the next five years to see Ovechkin win a Stanley Cup with a different team. And for me to cry during it and be like, I'm so glad and applaud him and be like, I'm glad he finally got his chance.

The Capitals and Ovechkin should split up because their regular season success is too good

I do think I am of the mindset that the Capitals and the [Ovechkin] should just be like, you know, hey, maybe this thing isn't working out anymore. Maybe our sex is just too good. Our regular season sex is too good. So we got to split up.

The Nashville Predators fan who threw a catfish on the ice in Pittsburgh should walk free

This guy should walk free simply because he vacuum sealed the catfish and put it in his pants. He really prepared for that.

The 2017 Stanley Cup Final will go seven games

Nashville was outplaying the Penguins. I think this is going to go seven. I think it's going to be a classic Stanley Cup final that only a million and a half people watch.

The Nashville Predators winning the Cup will be forgotten like the Hurricanes or Ducks wins

I'm rooting for the Predators simply because when teams like the Predators win championships with like their piss yellow uniforms and weird cities for hockey, people just tend to forget that that season never happened. So it's like when the Ducks won, it's like, I mean, did they win? I don't even know. I can't remember.

This is the year of the Nashville Predators in the Stanley Cup

The Predators, I feel like this is the Predators' year. People have been saying it for a long time. This is the Predators' year. Take out your fang claws. Nashville's number one hockey city in Tennessee.

A Nashville vs. Ottawa Stanley Cup Final is the 'Gregg Popovich-ing' of the NHL

If it is Ottawa versus Nashville... It's going to be the Gregg Popovich-ing of the NHL. It's like, actually, these are two awesome hockey teams, and you guys should be paying attention to it.

A Stanley Cup Final between Ottawa and Nashville will be a boring burden for hockey fans

If it is Ottawa versus Nashville. The burden on hockey Twitter to try to make us think that this is a meaningful Stanley Cup final is going to be hilarious to watch... It's going to be the Greg Popovich-ing of the NHL. It's like, actually, these are two awesome hockey teams, and you guys should be paying attention to it.

The Capitals will never win anything with Alex Ovechkin

The Capitals continually disappoint you. You know that they're never going to do anything with Ovechkin.

The Washington Capitals will be 2018 Stanley Cup champions

I might just go tonight and get a Washington Capitals 2018 Stanley Cup champions tattoo.

The Capitals are so certain to beat the Penguins that I'm already planning my travel for the Eastern Conference Finals and Stanley Cup Finals

I'm so confident that I'm pre-planning out tonight's game with the Rangers and the Senators. I'm like, okay, so we've got to have the Rangers win. That way I can go to all the Caps games in New York City for the Eastern Conference Finals, and then we're going to skate through them... I might as well already be in Hollywood right now in my head, like visiting the Ducks [for the Finals].

The Capitals will win Game 6 and then lose the series in Game 7 in D.C.

The Caps are probably going to win on Monday night. Of course. And then they're going to lose on Wednesday night in D.C. In a brutal fashion.

Sidney Crosby is going to destroy the Capitals

And Sidney Crosby, make no mistake about it, is going to be heavily involved in the destruction of the Capitals.

The St. Louis Blues will not win the Stanley Cup for the 50th straight year

For the 50th straight year, the St. Louis Blues are not going to win the Stanley Cup. That's a shame.

The Capitals will win Game 5 and 6 because they don't let their fans die that easily

I have a theory, and I told you this theory today. I think the Caps are going to win game five and six because the Capitals have that knack. They're not going to let their fans die that easy.