Takes

Davante Adams will be traded to the Jets at the deadline

Aaron Rogers took a $35 million pay cut. Right. Davante Adams... I'm very happy with the contract. I feel great about it on his contract. So hypothetically at the trade deadline, something were to happen. Like we have super teams now.

Joe Biden's dog Commander is just Major Biden with a different name

Joe Biden got a new German Shepherd. It has also bitten four people. There's no, that's Major Biden. I'm saying they didn't kick out Major. They just were like, 'yeah, we sent Major away. We got a new dog. Looks exactly like Major.' He just went on and just started biting everyone again.

Chief Aholic is a modern-day Robin Hood who we shouldn't be castigating

Chief Aholic is basically a modern day Robin Hood. Stole from the banks, gave to himself and we're, we're castigating him for it. We're throwing him in jail maybe for the rest of his life. It feels messed up.

Urban Meyer would be a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach

I think one thing we can all agree on though is a great choice for the next Northwestern head coach would be Urban Meyer. Ooh, yes. Let's get urban back in the conversation. Not afraid to get his hands dirty. The guy is a molder of young men and let's just get urban back into the Big 10.

The Rams at Saints game will be flexed out of Thursday Night Football

I predict right now Ram Saints, that's gonna be flexed.

Aaron Judge is cheating and stealing signs again

My other hot seat was Aaron Judge got caught cheating, stealing signs again, Yankees back at it again.

Dan Snyder should be arrested and put in jail for tampering with Andrew Luck

Just arrest Dan Snyder. And I think that would be fine. I think that would satisfy all parties. [regarding allegations the Commanders contacted Andrew Luck].

Dillon Brooks has talked himself out of the NBA

I really do think he might've played himself. Like he talked himself out of the NBA. Well and also the lack of play. ... He talked himself out of the NBA.

AI-powered robots will kill us all in less than a year

If you guys watch the episode metalhead [from Black Mirror], that's actually happening in real life... They gave Boston Dynamics robots brains and now they can do whatever they want. Think for themselves. ... I still think we got less than a year left. We're cooked.

The Pittsburgh Pirates are actually a really good baseball team

Just tip of the cap to the Pittsburgh Pirates. Yeah. With the Sacramento Kings doing that nba, they've been made fun of. They've been bad. The pirates have been awful. And they're... the pirates are really good. The Pittsburgh Pirates.

AI robots will take over and kill everyone within a month

I'm fully convinced, I figured I should just get it on record that probably within like a month, AI is going to build robots, take over the world and we're all gonna die.

The Cubs are 'sneaky' might make the playoffs this year

I also put a future on the Cubs at a hundred to one, but whatever. I think they're gonna... no, no. All right. Nevermind. That was a, I've talked myself into the Cubs being scrappy enough to make the playoffs. They're gonna be sneaky... I've now upgraded them to Sneaky might make the playoffs.

The Timberwolves are a solid bet to win the NBA championship at +15,000

I put a future on the Timberwolves. Ooh. 15 plus 15,000 Whoa. On these guys and they beat the Kings. ... No, I'm saying they win two series, then you can hedge out and make a shitload of money. ... All of a sudden I'm sitting on a gold mine over here.

Tom Brady should practice for the broadcasting booth with me

Tom Brady reportedly is starting to pursue a career in standup comedy... Tom, if you're watching this, you should be spending that time with me practicing in the booth. Let's make it happen.

Eric Bieniemy might be bombing head coaching interviews on purpose to stay with the Chiefs

I think he's bombing him on purpose. I really do. Because I think that being the offensive coordinator of the Kansas City Chiefs is better than being the head coach of like 20 franchises. So he's like, yeah, I'll just go through the motions bomb this interview, and then I'll get to go be the offensive coordinator of Patrick Mahomes and, and keep piling up Super Bowl wings rings.

Aaron Rodgers will come out of his darkness retreat and realize it's cool to just keep making $40 million to play for the Packers

Aaron Rods is doing his annual, I left the last game of the Packers saying, I don't know what's in the future. I'm gonna go into a four day silent hut and, and do drugs... congratulations Aaron Rods in advance for coming out of his retreat and realizing that Yeah. It's pretty cool to make 40 million a year to be the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers.

Tom Brady is not actually retired

This was my hot seat because I actually think it's hot seat. The Tom Brady retirement. He's not, he's spending an entire year off. He's basically admitting that he's not gonna start broadcasting games till 2024. He's not retired... This feels like he's just leaving the door a little bit open.

I could land a commercial airliner if the pilot became incapacitated

If I got behind the wheel or what the stick of a 737 and I was able to talk to air traffic control, I honestly do believe that I would be able to land a plane. It's pretty simple stuff. It's not rocket science, it's air science.

There are wooly mammoth bones and ivory worth millions in the East River

There's a bunch of treasure in the East River... wooly mammoth bones, tusks, ivory. It's treasure. Millions. Billions. The treasure is on East 65th Street next to the FDR Drive in the water... we're gonna try to go get it.

Charlie Woods could win the Masters right now if they let him in

Charlie Woods could win the Masters right now if you wanted to. Is there a way that if they let him in, he could win it? ... Charlie Woods is gonna be the greatest. He's next up. We've always said that on this podcast. He is now he's him.

Lionel Messi is the Chris Paul of soccer if he doesn't win the World Cup

My hot seat is Lionel Messi in Argentina because Argentina just lost 2-1 against the kingdom of Saudi Arabia... maybe the biggest defeat in the World Cup, some are asking is Messi a bust? Some are asking is Messi the Chris Paul of soccer? I think it's a fair comparison at this point.

I bet Tua Tagovailoa to win the MVP at 16 to 1

I made another bet—Tua [Tagovailoa] to win the MVP 16 to one. What's gonna, if Josh—this is, it is also based like, I hope Josh Allen's not hurt, but if he is hurt, Tua feels like he's got a lot of, lot of like people feel bad about the concussions. He's gonna have some, a lot of numbers.

Sam Ehlinger will be a successful game manager for the Colts

The most hilarious would be if they just came in and they went old school and just ran Jonathan Taylor 35 times a game and asked him to be a game manager. They make the playoffs and then you can still claim he's a better quarterback than Trevor Lawrence. That's what I'm hoping for.

Baker Mayfield will 'fuck up' the Cleveland Browns in Week 1

My hot seat are the Browns. Baker Mayfield... was quoted saying 'I'm going to fuck them up' in regards to the Browns. That's my hot seat Baker.

Saquon Barkley's 'kill mindset' quote will be used against him as soon as he has a bad game

My cool throne is the Giants fantasy people that are gonna draft Saquon Barkley. He said, it's kill mindset now. It's like, fuck everybody. I'm sure that won't be like a quote that gets turned around when it's like that quote and then him going like, 14 rushes for 60 yards.

Desmond Ridder 'is him' and is already NFL ready

My hot seat is Marcus Mariota... I watched the Jets Falcons game last night. I think Desmond Ridder is that guy. I think he is him... I think I'm ready to say based off watching him one time in the preseason that this is gonna be a guy that I will believe in for the next four years.

Geno Smith should be a first-half specialist and Drew Lock should be the closer

Geno Smith, I think plays pretty well based on recent experiences in like the first half. And then Drew Lock is good in garbage time. So I think they should put Geno Smith in, in the first half as the first half specialist. Drew Lock comes in as the closer.

Mekhi Becton's shattered kneecap could be good for his career

I think maybe this time will do him well, mature, and we'll see him this year. The shattered kneecap could be really good for his NFL career is what I'm trying to say, trying to be optimistic.

The New York Jets are an absolute wagon this year

My hot seat is the AFC East today. I visited Jets camp and I have to say they are all totally on the hot seat because the Jets are an absolute wagon. And their offense looked electric. Seriously.

Elijah Moore is a step above everybody else in the NFL

I saw [Elijah Moore] today in person and he was making grabs all over the field. It was like, that guy is a different kind of player. Like he's a step above everybody else.

The James Webb telescope images are fake and look like a lava lamp

Those images... are freaking me out... but that could also just be some fucking scientists lava lamp and they just send it out and they're like, check this out guys... I did see this picture and I just said that's fake.

Dan Snyder will finally be convicted of perjury this year

This is the year sir resign, sir. I'd like to see old Dan Snyder wiggle his way out of this one... I will find a way that he is committing perjury. I will find it. I will, I will get Dan Snyder convicted on perjury somehow some way.

The New York Yankees will win the 2022 World Series

Congratulations to the New York Yankees winners of the 2022 world series. Congratulations guys.

N'Keal Harry will be a stud and a weapon for Justin Fields

My cool throne is the bears are back because we got N'Keal Harry who he's awesome... another weapon for Justin Fields. N'Keal Harry, he's going to be a stud he's first round draft pick.

John Wall will be a great player as soon as he leaves the Rockets

He's still a good player, right? He's totally healthy now. Yes, he has no lingering foot injuries. He's back. I feel like he's going to be a great player as soon as he gets off the Rockets.

Zach Wilson is looking extra crispy in Jets training camp

Cool throne, Zach Wilson has been having great training camp. He went for nine 11 on 11 drills. So we're saying that he's looking extra crispy in camp. It's a pretty serious.

Jack Nicklaus' name is pronounced Jack 'Nick-Klaus' because of his German ancestry

Jack Nicklaus [pronounced Nick-Klaus like Santa Claus]... He rejected a hundred million dollars to not go to the Saudi golf league... I've only read his name. I only know... because I always watch golf on mute... Nikolaos. Changed it to make it [more American].

NBA players who get hit in the nuts should get a free shot to kick the offender back

If you get a flagrant one, you should get to kick the guy in the balls back in center court. How awesome would that be for fans? Tonight, I might see a guy just get smoked in the nuts.

The upcoming Drake and Taylor Swift collaboration will be played into the ground all summer

My hot seat is the charts, the radio this summer... Drake posted a picture with Taylor Swift, which means go, I'm going to be a song coming, which means it's going to get, it'll probably be a good song, but it will get murdered into the ground and just played in for it everywhere.

I'm bringing the Stanley Cup to Canada by betting on the Flames and the Maple Leafs

My other cool throne is Canada because I've decided I put a future on the Calgary flames. I'm going to bring a cup to Canada personally... Leafs and flames... I just want to bring a cup to the fine people of Canada because I'm sick of them not having a cup.

St. Peter's has a chance to become a small-school powerhouse like Gonzaga

I actually think [St. Peter's] have a chance to become like one of these small school powerhouses that ends up like a Gonzaga. Seriously, like they'll make runs with... now that the school has had such an increase in enrollment and increase [in funding].

The Will Smith slap of Chris Rock was fake because Will Smith taught a kid how to fake slap a month prior

There's a video out of will Smith a month ago, teaching a kid how to fake slap. I don't know if you guys see this on TMZ... I'm just saying, you know, it looks like a guy who's been practicing slapping.

It would be 'fucking hilarious' if the US Men's National Soccer Team loses by 6 goals and misses the World Cup

If the U.S. team loses by six goals tonight then they don't automatically qualify... I as a giant U.S. men's national team soccer fan, I can admit that if they lose by six goals tonight and don't qualify, that is fucking hilarious. I hope either they win or they lose by six or more goals tonight.

LeBron James has it in his contract that he cannot be shown in Lakers loss photos on Twitter

Every single time the Lakers lose a game and they post the final score on Twitter, they never include a picture of LeBron... I absolutely think this is in his contract. He definitely put this in his contract. So you cannot include me in any lost pictures.

The Jets are a wagon and will beat the Patriots in Week 8

Jets are a wagon, calling it. Week 8 at MetLife, they're beating the Pats, calling it right now. We're updated, upgraded... we don't have Mr. INT anymore.

Sean McVay should retire and join ESPN's Monday Night Football for more money and fewer hours

I'm going with the ESPN Monday night crew on the hot seat because supposedly if McVay wants out, ESPN wants him in for Monday night football. Tony Romo makes 18 million... Why would he want to work? Like 100th of the amount of hours and time and stress for, for more money? Yeah. I, I think that's a pretty good deal.

Home runs are going to increase because MLB stopped testing for steroids

My cool throne are yobbos, dingers, home runs, whatever you want to call them. Because for the first time in 20 years, Major League Baseball is stopping testing its players for steroids... I love it. Everybody use the ball and juice to go back and forth.

Andy Reid's food metaphors mean the entire NFL is in trouble

Andy Reed really put cake on the hot seat... He just thinks of everything his life as it's related to food. Once he starts thinking about food, he physically gets hungry and then he's going to mentally get hungry. And then the entire NFL, next thing he knows in trouble.

5G radars will ground all US air travel

Turns out a bunch of the airline CEOs said that the new 5G radars that are getting put on for telecommunications, once they get turned on, it's going to affect a bunch of their planes landing. And that they're going to have to ground all US air travel tomorrow.

The new Washington team name will be the 'Red Hogs'

I'm thinking it's going to be the red hogs, which I, which I love actually, because you're given a throwback to the hogs, the old offensive line. And you can do so much cool shit with pissed off looking pigs.