Takes

The Cleveland Browns will win only two games this year

And the Browns are going to win two games.

Sidney Crosby and the Penguins have the Capitals' number

I thought if the Caps could overcome this, they would do okay. But, man, Sidney Crosby and the Pens have their number, man.

The Celtics look lost without a 100% focused Isaiah Thomas

But for Isaiah Thomas, who's clearly the Celtics' number one option in the heart and soul of the entire team, for him to not be 100% focused and 100% there for obvious reasons... it just makes the team look lost. You can just tell they're not fully in sync.

Aaron Rodgers is excited about the Packers' offensive weapons for the next season

He's back in Green Bay getting ready for the season. ... He's excited. He likes the weapons we're getting. I'm a Packer through and through.

The Wizards are going to win their series against the Hawks easily

John Wall is really good at basketball... He's very good. The Wizards are going to win easily.

Leicester City winning the Premier League was crazier than the Cubs or Cavs championships

[Leicester winning] was by far of those four. That's like kind of what we want people to compare... Leicester City, that was freaking weird, especially given how they're not very good this year either.

Golden State is better with Kevin Durant than without him

So you think that they're better with Kevin Durant? Yeah, for sure. I mean, I think they were better this year than they were.

Overtime hockey is the worst experience in sports when your team is playing

You know what else is bad is overtime hockey when your team is in it. If another person's team is in it, it's great... But when it's your team, you just want to eat a gun.

The internet is too cynical about new jerseys and the Lions' grays aren't that bad

I think they're fine. I think they're good. This is what the internet does. They just release something and then everyone says that's awful and then everyone just jumps on it. The grays don't look that bad.

Jay Mariotti and Woody Page have broken up their media partnership

PFT said, I've got a trouble in paradise. And he broke the heartbreaking news that Jay Mariotti and Woody Page have broken up. I propose that we just let that stay and see how long until everyone else realized that they had broken up.

Coachella is just Burning Man for millennial social media kids

It's burning man for millennial social media kids because... I look on Instagram and it's like all these very attractive young ladies like, oh, can't wait for Coachella. And I'm just thinking, you're not a music festival person. You're not going to go tent for three days and live in shit.

Indianapolis is the true 'Barstool America' because it's stereotypical heartland

We Oxford Dictionary-ed what America is. Stereotypically American was the answer, and I said, well, I think that's more like everything I do in my life... I'm all about the heartland here. And even New York City, boy, has grown on me... but when I got here, I really thought I was in foreign land.

Buffalo Wild Wings is making a comeback with larger wings

Their wings got bad there for a little while. They're coming back, though. The wings are good. They got bigger wings.

Betting over/unders in NHL playoffs is the biggest rush in gambling due to empty netters

My favorite part about the NHL playoffs is betting the over-unders. There's no bigger rush in gambling than the last minute empty netters.

Atlanta is primarily a college football town rather than a pro sports town

It is a football town. I mean, you know, it's more of a college football state it really is... Saturdays in the fall are all about them dogs. That's by Alabama, the University of Georgia.

The Masters weekend is the best nap weekend of the year

The Masters weekend is the best nap weekend of the year, in my opinion... instead of like a phone sex hotline for dads there should just be a nap hotline where they 1-900 big naps it's just the Masters music and Jim Nantz saying hello friends.

The Steph Curry 'Oxblood' shoes aren't actually that bad

I don't think they're that bad. That's all I was saying. I wouldn't wear them and buy them myself, but the way the internet freaks out about them, it's the worst thing in the world. There's been much worse NBA player shoes.

Dustin Johnson should have followed the Tiger Woods handbook and winced his way through a few holes before withdrawing

In true Tiger Woods fashion, [Dustin Johnson] should have winced and keeled over, hit a couple shots. Maybe see if he gets like a birdie to start and then keep playing. And if not, then quit and withdraw. That's the Tiger Woods handbook.

Kansas will win the 2019 National Championship

I'm going to go with Kansas [for 2019 champion].

Position players are significantly better first-round draft bets than pitchers

The best bets in the first round are position players. They return, on average, about twice as much value as pitchers. If we were going to put our resources... we wanted to do it with position players.

Playing the Final Four in football stadiums ruins the players' shooting

My favorite thing that the Final Four to the NCAA basketball does is they play the entire season in arenas, and then they're like, hey, let's play in a football stadium and screw up everyone's shot.

Oregon is a bad matchup for North Carolina due to a lack of size

I do think North Carolina is going to win. I think they're the better team. And they're a bad matchup for Oregon... [Oregon] has athleticism. They do not have—they have a little length. A lot of athleticism. No size.

Mel Kiper Jr. eats a slice of pumpkin pie for breakfast every single day.

Every time you see Mel Kiper, though, remember one thing. He eats a slice of pumpkin pie for breakfast every single day. Just put that in your brain.

Fall is the best season for napping, followed by spring

I would rank it power ranking nap seasons, fall number one, spring number two.

North Carolina was the favorite to win the NCAA Tournament from the start of the year

I thought they were the favorite at the beginning, honestly. I thought for the whole year, since I saw them at Maui in November, that Carolina was the best team.

Gonzaga will beat South Carolina in the Final Four because of their scoring depth

I favor Gonzaga because they've got so many more scorers and shooters. You know, South Carolina's not been a great offensive team all year... otherwise, I like Gonzaga to win the game.

Kansas is currently the best-looking team in the NCAA tournament

Purdue looked awful in the second half, but also Kansas. I mean, they are the best-looking team right now.

Tournament games will be lower-scoring (unders) this weekend as teams tighten up

I think it'll tighten up. I think when teams tighten up, when more is on the line, normally the under is prevalent.

North Carolina is the best team left in the NCAA tournament

I would say if North Carolina plays a perfect game, they're the best team left in the NCAA tournament.

Florida will beat Wisconsin in the Sweet 16

I'm going to lay the number with Florida. I think Florida's going to prevail here.

Humility is what this country is all about

Always be appreciative for the people and always remain humble. It started out as a joke, and it's very serious to me. Stay humble because that's what this country is about.

The Big Ten is back

The Big Ten is back.

Upsets in the first round usually mean bad games in the second round

Upsets in the first round usually mean bad games in the second round. We didn't have a lot of upsets in the first round. We had some pretty good games in the second round.

Kansas is the best team left in the field besides Michigan

If I'm going to pick one team, I'm going to say what I saw today. I'll pick Kansas. I thought they were really good. I think they did. And that kid Josh Jackson, man, he's really good.

Brad Underwood is a great hire for Illinois

That is a great hire, man. That dude is a ball coach. He's offense... I think he's a great hire. Absolutely great hire for Illinois.

Brad Stevens is definitely not going to the Indiana job

Maybe going back to Indiana. Dream job? I'm so excited for it because he's not going to go to Indiana. Anyone with a brain knows that. But it's going to get written. It's going to get some buzz.

Rugby is the sport of the future

I was at the rugby tournament. That is the sport of the future. It solidified it. Shout out another semifinals for the U.S. national team.

Louisville has scored 69 points more than any other program in tournament history

Louisville has scored 69 points in NCAA tournament more than any other program in the country... I swear to God, that's a fact. And then it gets even better... the program that has won the most games in college basketball history that has never scored 69 in the tournament is BYU.

The best betting strategy for March Madness is to always take the underdogs

Underdogs, underdogs, underdogs. [They're always barking.]

There is no point to checking out of a hotel; it's a vestige of the past

Explain to me what the reason of checking out of a hotel is... Today I walked down the lobby and there was a line all the way out the door of people waiting to check out. What is the point? They're nerds... Clocks are a vestige of the past. I tell my own time.

Magic Johnson was the absolutely right hire to lead the Lakers' front office

Absolutely. We love Magic... Everything Magic does is fit. You know, Magic is, you know, he's one of those rare beacons of hope. I mean, look, come on. They told Magic he was going to die, and now look at him. He's just like, Magic is perfect.

Larry Bird is the greatest player I ever played with

Greatest player I ever played with... He made us all play better... Larry never got tired of just torching other people, and he's incredibly driven. He's a brilliant guy. He loves to portray himself as the hick from French Lick. Don't ever buy into that. This guy is so sharp, and so smart, and so pure.

Dirk Nowitzki has one of the most underrated careers in NBA history

[Dirk Nowitzki] is by far one of the most underrated careers because you kind of just forgot about him after he won the finals but he has been like quietly incredible for so so long.

Kevin Durant likely won't lose his shooting rhythm despite his injury

He actually has a history of coming back from injury pretty well... he doesn't seem to lose his shooting rhythm. The thing that's a question mark... is that if he is 5%, 10% off, that's where you could see a big turn... it just wrecks all their form.

The Kirk Cousins franchise tag is a sign the Redskins still don't know if he's good

In Kirk Cousins' case, it's just a big sign that says, do we know if Kirk Cousins is good yet? No, we don't know.

Hidden Figures is my lock for Best Picture at the Oscars

Hidden figures... That's what my money's on. Very professionally produced.

Being tired is a more hardcore injury than a broken bone for a 32-year-old

As someone who's 32 years old, being tired, I would rather have a broken bone than be tired. Being tired is the most hardcore injury that I have these days.

Remember the Titans is the best Denzel Washington movie

God, super cliche. But I think Remember the Titans is unbelievable, Denzel.

Jimmy Butler is an incredible bargain because he signed his max contract before the salary cap spiked

I dropped Jimmy Butler contract truth, because Jimmy Butler is actually a great deal. He signed the max contract before the new salary cap, so he's going to be cheap for the next three years.

Magic Johnson will be a successful Lakers president as long as they win games

The Lakers magic is going to do a good job if the Lakers win basketball games... I think he's also going to do a good job if he gets good players on the Lakers.