Takes

Professional sports teams are starting to incorporate Dungeons and Dragons into their operations

If anyone's been noticing the Chiefs recently ran D&D on my and like put it up on social media and stuff. All I will say right now is I'm talking to some teams.

Sam Darnold is officially confirmed as a franchise 'guy'

The Super Bowl was [Sam Darnold's] hundred and first game. So we do confirmed to have a guy. Todd Bowles saw it. Yes.

17 NFL teams will be playing in domes within the next 10 years

Seventeen teams are gonna be playing in domes within the next 10 years. The way things are currently going, the Chiefs are moving into a dome.

The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl because they eliminated the 49ers

Seven of the last eight teams to eliminate the 49ers have gone on to win the Super Bowl. That's kind of crazy. ... The Seahawks are primed to win the Super Bowl 'cause they have eliminated the 49ers.

Mark Sanchez has more career playoff wins than Justin Herbert

Mark Sanchez has more playoff wins than Justin Herbert. ... Significantly more.

Matt Stafford is unreliable when protecting a lead in the second half.

Matt Stafford, when he has a lead at halftime, his record against the spread in the second half. The second half spread 35% of the time, he covers only 35%. Pretty bad.

The Broncos' wide defensive line alignment gives Josh Allen a free pass to scramble up the middle.

They line up super, super wide and when you line up super wide... it gives Josh Allen free reign to look at the guards, look at the center, figure out where he is gonna go... Josh is a guy who can drop back in a non non scheme anything and just be like, oh, the ends are by me. I'm gonna take what's given to me.

The Capitals are 0-5 in shootouts because their goalies catch left-handed

We're oh-five in shootouts this year. And I'm gonna strictly say that it's only because we always shoot on southpaw goalies. We don't actually get to shoot on regular goalies for the shootouts.

The Seahawks should try to lose in Week 18 to ensure a Super Bowl trip via the Pope correlation

2005 new Pope is elected... Seahawks win 13 games advance to the Super Bowl. 2013 new Pope is elected... Seahawks win 13 games, win the Super Bowl. 2025 new Pope is elected Seahawks win 13 games and... Should the Seahawks try to lose on Sunday to stay at 13 games so that it guarantees they at least get to the Super Bowl?

Road teams have a significant advantage in NFL games played on Christmas Day

Remember last year Christmas, the lesson that we learned... you fade the home team because they're doing all the family stuff, eating big meals on Christmas Eve. The road team has the advantage on Christmas Day.

Colts GM Chris Ballard is on the hot seat because he hasn't won the division in nine years

My Hot Seat is Chris Ballard. I'm gonna put him back on the Hot Seat. The GM for the Colts... has been the GM for the Colts since 2017, nine years. He has never won the AFC South.

Drake Maye is not in the elite 300-yard passing club yet

Drake Maye is not on it. There's an elite club and all the players know about it. The 300 club, the 300 yard club... he hasn't thrown for 300 yards yet. What's up with that?

Taking apart a microwave is fatal because it contains an electric bomb

Do never, do not ever take apart a microwave because you'll die. You'll get electrified. They've got like a bomb inside of them. ... You have a nuclear weapon in your kitchen.

Ohio State's defense is one of the best in the last 25 years

Ohio State has absolutely just dominated their way through this thing because they play smart football and they got the best defense. They got one of the best defenses we've seen in the last 25 years in college football.

The Eagles are not currently trading AJ Brown

Right now, I will tell you 'cause it just was something that I was part of the last few hours. They they are not trading [AJ Brown].

Mason Graham is currently the NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year

Mason Graham is probably the defensive rookie of the year right now, I would say... he's got a 43% pass rush win rate against the Packers... for a defensive tackle, it's crazy.

CJ Stroud is secretly injured and that is why he is playing poorly

Is CJ Stroud hurt? Ooh, I don't know... remember he was having shoulder problems. And they said he's not having surgery, which is not what you want to hear unprompted going into a season... surgery just gets mentioned... he's been bad. Hard. He's been bad. Yeah. And I, I have no idea if he's hurt or not, but it seems like there's something that's fucked up about it.

Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation

He is the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the country right now... there's all the basketball aggregators being like Rajon Rondo is currently the number one ranked flag football quarterback in the nation right now.

The Jets would be a playoff team if the season ended today

If the season ended today, [the Jets] would be a playoff team right now. Yes.

I got faster as a runner between the ages of 20 and 27

I got faster somehow. I'm not gonna lie, but is it really did I get super, did I get that much fast from 20 to 27? I wouldn't say now I just, I just got more efficient with my movements and there's no secret to it... when I'm here training, every Thursday I'm hitting high speeds.

I am currently in the best shape of my career.

[I am in the] best shape of my life right now. Was that partially because everyone called you fat online? No, don't care. Everybody Gotta have something to say. Something to talk about. That's just a life.

Sundays are easier than training camp because I don't have to face Lamar Jackson.

Sundays are way easier. Like, and sometimes when this dude, some of the stuff he be doing at practice, I be like, bro, I'm glad I'm not going up against that because nobody else in the league can do what he do... Lamar makes it easier going up against even other dual threat quarterbacks.

Nikola Jokic cares more about his horses winning than winning NBA championships

It was abundantly clear that [Jokic] cares more about his horse winning races than he does about winning NBA championships.

Cutting dairy from my diet cured my chronic knee pain in three weeks

I was having knee issues and I was... I needed to make some adjustments... I told myself, I'm gonna do it [go dairy free] for a month... probably about three weeks into it, honestly, I felt so much better. My body just felt fresher... I attributed it to the lack of dairy at the time.

The Home Run Derby's current timing format is too exhausting for players

I don't think people appreciate how exhausting it is for the players to take that many swings that fast. So it's something we will talk about with ESPN regarding changing the format.

If I win the Open Championship this weekend, I should be the official Blake of the Year

I have proposed the idea that if Brooks Koepka wins the open championship this weekend, he officially gets your [Blake Griffin's] Blake of the Year title this year. [Brooks]: I'm not dead. Absolutely. I'm playing for all the Blakes. I would like, at some point in the interviews, I would like acknowledgement. I literally will just say Blake Griffin and then walk right out.

Bratwurst has the worst physical aftermath of any competitive eating food

There's a couple that like, I know going in, they're gonna be rough. Like anything with bratwurst, bratwurst, man, there's, they add extra fat in there and it, it's, it's running through you. It, it, it, it's, you're not in control. It's there. There's, there's accidents bound to happen there.

I can eat two gallons of soft-serve ice cream in eight minutes

I'm thinking close to, close to two gallons worth. It'd be, it'd be like, so I did an ice cream contest and after the contest I was like shivering because I was so, like, it was like everything was cold. So I, I think close to two gallons would be in, in about eight minutes.

The best indicators for a recruit's success are the uncles on the mother's side

If you can meet mom and then if you meet one of her brothers. The uncles from mom's sides are usually the greatest indicators of what you're gonna get... DNA means a lot.

The 2025 NBA Finals is effectively the Paul George Finals because he built both rosters

We may be headed to a finals where both teams were built on the back of trading away Paul George. The Indiana Pacers traded Paul George to Oklahoma City for Oladipo and Sabonis. Sabonis developed as a player and then they traded him for Tyrese Halliburton. The Thunder meanwhile traded Paul George for SGA and seven pick swaps, one of which turned into Jalen Williams. It's the Paul George Finals.

Jim Irsay was the first NFL owner with the 'balls' to stand up to Dan Snyder

I will never forget the fact that he is the first owner to have the balls to say fuck you to Dan Snyder when Snyder threatened to blackmail every other owner. And he goes, yeah, try me. 'cause everything that I've done is out in the open.

The 2011 Miami Heat lost the Finals because they hadn't learned to sacrifice yet

After we lost in that finals, that's humbling. We all was very, we all got some humble pie very quickly... We realized we was trying to show that we could play together and we wasn't sacrificing at first, we were hooping.

Nikola Jokic is the best basketball player in the world and was since his rookie year

I thought he was the best basketball player in the world... I watched it and at the end of the practice they asked me, said, what'd you think? I said, I don't know who that fat kid is over there, but he's your best player. And it's not even close.

Florida is the favorite and Toronto is the least likely to win the Stanley Cup among the final eight teams

Florida one. Dallas two. Vegas three. Washington four Edmonton five... Winnipeg six, Carolina seven. [Leafs?] Leafs eights perfect. You what? I guys I can admit Edmonton's an underdog here. And they get through Vegas and, and, and, and I come back on like if they beat Vegas, they're number one.

Fierceness is two to three lengths better than any other horse in the Kentucky Derby field

I think [Fierceness] is two to three lengths better than any other horse right now in the field... I think if he's ridden properly, I think [Fierceness]'s, you know, clearly, clearly the horse to beat.

A prime Secretariat could not win a race with a 235-pound Big Cat in the saddle

No shot, Big Cat, no shot. I'm sorry to tell you that. [You would finish] probably dead last. Even if you were an accomplished equestrian, at that weight riding Secretariat? No. He'd be up the track.

Montreal's Bell Centre is the loudest sports building in the world, louder than LSU's Death Valley

That is the loudest building I've ever been in in my life. That is, that's louder than Death Valley. LSU on a Saturday night... I was amazed from, from the time I walked in until the time that I left. Like, they're pissed off. They're loud, they're super knowledgeable. It's crazy.

He woke up every day in January convinced he was going to be fired

When we were that, that stretch in January where we weren't playing well, I was woke up every day and told myself I'm getting fired if we don't turn. I'm, I'm, I'm done... and I would tell the staff too, I'm like, guys, we're done. Like, you know, we don't figure this thing out, you know, like we, we just, we don't deserve to coach here.

Statistically, you must be in the top six after the first round of the Masters to have a real chance to win

Trent was saying that like, statistically speaking, you basically have to be top six after the first round. Like anyone past that is not eliminated, but almost eliminated.

NFL nose-wipe celebrations are now a 15-yard penalty

There's a new thing that is now a 15 yard penalty for being a violent gesture. It's I think guns is already guns already. You can do the throat slash was a while ago. You can do the bow and arrow I think throat slash nose. Yes. Wow. The nose wipe. That's so dumb. The nose wipe. Nose wipe is now a 15 yard penalty for being a violent gesture.

Shaka Smart is not a good tournament coach

In his last nine NCAA tournament trips, Shaka Smart has been eliminated by a team at least three seed lines worse seven times... Still a good coach but not a good tournament coach right now.

The disparity between Georgia's football and basketball success is the biggest in sports

Of the 10 college football national champions since 2002, seven out of 10 of them have been to a final four. All, all 10 of them have been to an elite eight... and Georgia has not won a [tournament] game. Combined 154 tournament wins for all other programs that have won a national title in football. And Georgia has had zero since 2002.

NFL players prioritize money above Hall of Fame status and Super Bowl rings

Of course it's always about the money... I go around and ask players, rank 'em. I think they all rank first money... then Hall of Fame... and then the ring is third. You know what, they don't sell their money on eBay.

Pete Rose should be reinstated to MLB and the Hall of Fame because his 'lifetime' ban is technically over

It was a lifetime ban. Right. The operative word being life. Right. He's no longer alive. Right. He's dead. So the ban should have already been lifted.

I can definitely beat up my brother Matthew Tkachuk in a fight

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. [Big Cat: You could beat the fuck out of him?] I'll say and he'll see it and be like, yeah, he can. Oh, he knows. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This phone in my hand is the one I used to tweet that Miles Garrett committed assault

I really believe that this is the assault phone. It would be my honor to give you this phone... You can hang it on the wall.

The Eagles didn't blitz once in the Super Bowl against Patrick Mahomes

We didn't even blitz one time. We had, we had some blitzes drawn up, you know, to run. And when you got those guys up front, you know, we never really, never really had to.

The United States is currently the best hockey country in the world

Guess what? We're the best fucking country in the world in hockey... until Canada, until Canada to be on Thursday. We right now as of the second we're still the best hockey country in the world. We got the cup. They're not getting it back.

NIL would have completely neutralized the crab legs controversy

I just want to educate everyone about the new addition of NIL and the things that it allows our young athletes to do... before NIL if you did anything illegal, you would get suspended... but when NIL started, a lot of opportunities and doors that were already open... that crab leg thing would've never been like — oh my gosh. Like I would've had so many crab leg [deals].

Jalen Milroe's small hands are a major problem for his draft stock

Jalen Milroe has insanely small hands. Eight and three fourth inches. To put it into perspective, it would be the smallest hands of any first round quarterback ever taken. And in 2022, only one starting NFL QB had his hand size under nine inches... and it was Taysom Hill. Not good.