Takes

Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift are not actually dating

I think that Travis Kelce is not actually dating Taylor Swift. I think that this is, listen, we've been in the podcast game for a long time. We know it does numbers. Jason Kelce's a very smart guy. I think him going on the air and saying the rumors are a hundred percent true... You don't say a hundred percent if your brother's dating Taylor Swift.

The Buffalo Bills must win convincingly against the Raiders to get their swagger back

It feels like the Bills have to win this game and they have to win it convincingly to get their swagger back a little bit. It does feel like it's kind of, I don't want to sound the alarm so bad, but the bills just, they need to win. They need to win this game and they need to do it well and they need to win by a lot.

Designated runs for Justin Fields would open up the entire Bears offense

I speak on behalf of America and probably all Bears fans. When I say let Justin Fields run the ball. Let him everything, put in some design runs for him. Let him stretch the defense out. Let them let the defense get uncomfortable and try to figure out where he's gonna go. And then the passing game opens up when you do that.

The Cardinals defense is sneaky good and they are coached to be a dirty team

I still think that their defense is gonna be pretty good. No, I'm saying that because if you watch the X videos and the Twitter chrome on it Max that defense was headhunting. They, they, they were coached that way. I'm telling you, watch the Cardinals this week. Tell me that they don't take like sneaky violent shots. They're, they're a dirty team.

Fernando Tatis Jr. is a 'vibes guy' you want in your clubhouse despite the PED suspension

Tatis is a vibes guy. I mean, that's a guy you want. That's a guy. I wanted my clubhouse... Tatis is a vibes guy. I mean, that's a guy you want. That's a guy. I wanted my clubhouse. [PFT: He's always suspended] Nah, he's a great guy.

CJ Stroud is a risky draft pick because he is an Ohio State quarterback

CJ Stroud is a very good QB. Very, very good. The only thing is that I got against him is that he's an Ohio State quarterback. And how many really great Ohio State quarterbacks we've seen coming out that just haven't really panned out

Bryce Young is too small and has a slender frame that will lead to injuries

I get the Bryce Young hype. I get it. The thing is... you can't put 30 pounds on Bryce Young. His frame is, his frame is just, it does, it's not gonna work. If you look at his frame, he's slender at the shoulders... Because of that, like, he's gonna be more injury prone.

The New York media ruins Jets quarterbacks by sensationalizing negative news to gain clicks.

The New York media sensationalizes quarterbacks' performances to gain clicks and remain competitive in the big media market. Amplification of negative news and critiques elicits greater responses from the consumers, leading to a lack of confidence in the fan base, ultimately resulting in a destructive impact on the team and the quarterback's confidence.

Derek Carr would not work in New York because he is too sensitive to media criticism.

Derek Carr would not work [in New York]. He's too sensitive. He cries, he blocks everybody on Twitter. Like, his excuses wouldn't suffice for the New York [media].

I would rather watch the playoffs fan-free than have the Patriots make it just to get smoked

Honestly, I know I have to watch these games anyway. I would rather just watch the playoffs completely fan free because I know it's get my hopes up and be like, oh, you know, I have to worry about and like, kind of put myself up for them winning. Even though if they won the first game, they're getting smoked the second game. They're probably getting smoked the first game.

Mac Jones is a dirty player

I think that was a, a cheap shock going at his Eli Apple's ankles for sure. He's had some dirty plays.

The Jets are a good team with Mike White and a bad team with Zach Wilson

I'm back on the Jets. Mike White. I really do think that they're, they're actually a good team with Mike White. They're such a bad team with Zach Wilson. I think the defense will get like a, you know, juiced up from it. I, the Seahawks have been very, very bad.

Bills-Bengals is the best Monday Night Football game of all time based on records

I am so fucking excited for this game. Yes. It's, it's I think the best Monday night football game of all time considering the records of the teams playing in it.

Zach Wilson has been working on his fundamentals and he might be back

I do think Mike White's gonna get the wind though. Big time with Zach Wilson being QB two now. I know. So there's a little fire underneath him... And he's been working on his fundamentals.

The Minnesota Vikings are absolute frauds

I'll tell you why. Billy, let me take you to school real quick. You wanna hear some cold hard facts? Out of every single team to ever be 10 and 2 since the 1970 merger... the Vikings are by far and dead last for point differential. Their point differential is three times smaller than the second worst team. The Vikings, they're frauds.

The Chargers are the worst tackling team in the NFL

I think the Chargers might be the worst tackling team in the NFL. They just don't tackle. I feel like every Chargers game you'll just watch guys just running around like broken plays. Guys not being able to get tackled.

Kyler Murray's biggest problem is that he is fundamentally a baseball player

Not to be Colin Coward here, but I feel like Kyle and Murray's biggest problem is he's a baseball player. Baseball players, they care about themselves. They have individual accolades. Football is a team sport. Kyle Murray's a baseball player.

Aaron Rodgers is legitimately bad right now and it is not a fluke

I think that this is like, it's not a fluke that [Aaron Rogers] sucks right now. If he wants to, this is a perfect excuse for him. Just be like, 'Yeah, my thumb is extreme. The doctor said that he is never seen a worse thumb than mine.'

Never bet on Tom Brady in a night game

The Tom Brady day verse night thing is very real and he is old. And so since he's gone to the Bucs, he's 22 and 12 against the spread at daytime and he's two and 11 against the spread at nighttime. So we gotta just make sure we never bet on Tom Brady at night again.

Kyle Shanahan owns Sean McVay

I assume that was who you're gonna be if you were basic. Yeah, no, I agree with you. But also at some point, I feel like every time this happens... we've known for a while that Shanahan owns McVay. He's eight and four against McVay overall. Straight up.

Pete Carroll is not a good in-game coach

I feel like D'Amico is a very good endgame coach. And Pete Carroll, I don't think is a very good in game coach. I think Pete Carroll is, he has got a lot of strengths, but in terms of adjustments and being strategic with things like challenges, time out, stuff like that. He's not even in my top 10.

The Jaguars being 3-point favorites over the Giants is a trap line

Take the Jaguars minus three, the line makes no sense. Yep. Yep. Zero sense whatsoever. That's Vegas being like, take the Giants, they want you to take the giants, which means the jaguar's gonna win win handily. Don't fall for the trap. Take the jaguars.

The Bengals are just not a good team right now

I don't think the Bengals are good and it's, maybe they'll figure it out, but right now I just don't think they're playing good football... nothing looks easy for them.

Eating 14 hot dogs over 12 hours is not an insane amount of food

The second place person should have 10 hour days. Second place person can probably get out in one day. If they just need 14 hot dogs, they have to bowl 160. I don't think that 14 hot dogs over 12 hours is like an insane amount.

Adrian Peterson ruined the 2,000-yard rushing benchmark for everyone else

Adrian Peterson ruined the 2,000 yards because he did it right after he was coming off an ACL surgery. So everybody else from that point, if you got an ACL injury, it's like it's not that bad.

The Packers are not that good

The Packers are not that good. Brian Hoyer is due for a win. They'll, no, they won't be in the hungry dog because I'm not putting the Patriots in anymore.

Kyler Murray looks like a toddler running around with a stolen phone

The greatest description I saw of Kyler Murray is that he looks like a toddler running around with a stolen phone.

The Raiders and Derek Carr are on different pages regarding 'how to win'

I think we might have a little bit of Josh McDaniels and Derek Carr on different pages watch... Josh McDaniels says 'you can't win until you learn how not to lose.' But now Derek Carr last week said 'we have to learn how to win.' It feels like they're on different pages. It's a red flag.

Malik Willis has the most fuckable spiral in the 2022 draft

Number one. Malik Willis. God damn moon bomb. And the thing is, I love how the ball turns over on his long balls. It points up when it's going up and when it's going down, it points down and it looks like an absolute cruise missile.

Malik Willis is a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen

Malik Willis has been said to be, in my opinion, a combination of Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen. This is what the people are saying. If you look at Malik's throws from the combine, insane, absolutely crazy type stuff.

Bill Belichick controls the game by keeping it low scoring when he 'needs' to win

My favorite under is Bills, Patriots 43 and a half. I think it's going to be another under game. Belichick likes to keep it low scoring when he really needs to win. And I think this is a need to win for the Patriots.

I am done with the Seahawks; they are a miserable team of has-beens and losers

I think that the Seahawks are just a miserable football team filled with has-beens and losers. ... I hate watching the Seahawks on television. It's probably way worse in person.

Tom Brady killed the Chiefs dynasty before it even started

The Chiefs are so bad... Tom Brady killed the Chiefs. I think not enough people are talking about it. He ended their dynasty. It wasn't really a dynasty, though... He snuffed out, he traveled back in time, baby Hitler'd the Chiefs dynasty.

I am officially on my 'last straw' with the Washington Football Team's organization

My announcement is I am officially on my last straw. Washington football team last straw. In fact, I went out, I bought a straw... If it gets anything bad, happens to the point where I, I lose faith in this organization again. Well, what, what Hank you, what else could they do that during my soul to you? They're only good players dead. And they fucked up his retirement ceremony.

The Bills are the #1 team in the league right now

My current BCS rankings have the Cardinals and the Bills, one and two. [But] the fun fact about the Bills, they have double the point differential than the second team not named the Cardinals... The Bills are plus 108. They are fucking killing people. We can agree. Bills should be at the top.

I am officially 'standing my ground' on the Steelers against the Broncos

My personal stand my ground game where if the Steelers don't win this game, I am done not only with the Steelers this season, but done betting on them, just pretending they don't exist. This is the game that if they have any pulse left, it's a pulse check. If they have any pulse left, they will win this game.

Mac Jones might be overwhelmed by the moment of Tom Brady's return to Foxborough

The moment might actually be too big for Mac Jones because he's obviously a rookie quarterback and he feels like he's got a lot of responsibility... just knowing that he's been entrusted to try to take over that legacy from Tom Brady, but then getting to see it up close and personal.

The Washington Football Team's season is over if they lose to the Falcons

If the football team loses [to the Falcons], season done. Done. Because they have the hardest scheduling. And we just have, we have to get to December within like four games of 500.

Jalen Ramsey is the only cornerback who can physically cover Rob Gronkowski.

Jalen Ramsey is really the only person who fits Jalen Ramsey's description of a quarterback that can cover Gronk. Cause Jalen is a big dude. He's strong, he's got coverage skills and he can tackle.

I will bet heavy on the Chargers this year to hedge against my own Washington expectations

I'm going to bet heavy on the Chargers. ... Because I regrettably have expectations for the Washington football team. But I'm going to bet against them because I've made the decision in my brain of how many dollars I'm willing to pay for a win.

Dabo Swinney only opposes a 12-team playoff because he is afraid of Clemson being upset.

Dabo doesn't think there are 12 teams good enough for an expanded college football playoff. That was another quote... He just doesn't want to have the chance of being upset, but yeah, and he's got his spot locked up forever.

Mick Cronin wasted the 'dad hug' momentum by seeing his father in the first round instead of the Sweet 16

The whole storyline of not seeing his dad, not hugging his dad for two years... he used it in the first weekend. He should have brought his dad out for this weekend. Then they win this game. I truly believe that. They're showing Hep Cronin in the stands and being like, man, after this game, they're going to get the hug. They somehow find a way. A dad game is a game changer.

The Dolphins are not for real

Are the Dolphins for real? No. No, they're not.

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the most talented team in the NFL

I'm going to go to my deathbed saying this. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are the most talented team in the NFL.

I could definitely beat up Matt Nagy

I could beat up Matt Nagy for sure. I'd just be like, dude, your play calling sucks.

Michael Thomas is a terrible fit for Jameis Winston's deep-passing skill set

I can't think of a wide receiver that fits Jameis Winston's skill set less than Michael Thomas. Just running slants, just going as close to linebackers as possible. Bad, bad. Yeah, just tell him, I know that your captain slant runs straight downfield. Go deep, go deep.

The 2020 Steelers are a 'fun' offensive team, not just a defensive juggernaut

I'm starting to embrace the fact that the Steelers are fun... the Steelers are a fun offensive football team, and it's taken me probably two and a half years of them actually being electric on offense for me to accept that fact.

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest move for the Jets because he is a 'tank' that can't be accused of tanking

Keeping Adam Gase is the smartest thing you can do is GM because... it actually Adam Gase is your tank like he is your tank but not tanking. You can't be accused of tanking, but you are tanking when you have Adam Gase there.

The 'Christian Doctrine': NFL teams are actually harder to stop when their star player is out because of unpredictability

When a good player goes out or is traded the team does better I think we called the Christian doctrine... when a defense plans and you know Christian McCaffrey out there, you know, he's going to touch the ball like half the time when he's not you don't know where the balls going.

I am officially out on the Eagles

The Eagles are just, they're so sad. I'm done. I'm done. You're pulling the cord on him? Yeah, right. I can't. I'm thinking that they are the same team that won the Super Bowl and I'm just done, I'm done.