Takes

The Pittsburgh Pirates have the second-worst run differential in the National League

They have the second-worst run differential in the NL right now... second worst behind [Big Cat's] Nets.

The European Super League would actually have been sweet because of the high-level matchups.

The Super League kind of would have been sweet. ... Imagine if there was just a Wednesday, like every Wednesday afternoon, just the best teams in the world playing each other. ... would you watch because it's going to be sweet. They'd be like, yeah, I'd watch. ... It would have been fucking sweet.

The European Super League was a trial balloon that will eventually lead to it actually happening.

It's going to happen. The Super League's going to happen. This was a trial balloon that they sent out there.

Losing your debit card is a good way to replenish your finances by clearing out forgotten subscriptions.

That's how I look at losing my debit card sometimes because you get the monthly charges for things that you forget that you're subscribed to. And so then those charges stop and then you have to re-sign up for them again. You can look at this in a positive light, Bubba.

The Premier League should rebrand as the English Super League to prevent future breakaways

If the Premier League is smart, they'll just rebrand as the English Super League. And then nobody can ever cuck them out of that again.

America deserves all the credit for killing the European Super League

In order to kill something so evil as the Super League, you have to create it. So shouldn't Americans get credit for creating something that the world can get behind and [kill]? We did this. We created and killed it, so we deserve all the credit. Specifically this show and generally America.

FIFA only sided with fans against the Super League to protect their own revenue from the Champions League

We figured it out afterwards. It's because FIFA controls UEFA, the Champions League, and the Super League would have sucked all the money out of UEFA. So that's why FIFA was doing this. Not because they're like some big [humanitarians].

European billionaires will try to create a Super League again in two years under the cover of a major event

When this was all put to bed so quickly, they're going to try this again in two years. They're going to learn from what happened this time, and they're going to do it in the dead of night... during the Olympics, like when Putin invaded the Crimea.

We should treat the Lakers catfish account like a 'distressed asset' and hire her as a correspondent

In the finance world, it's a distressed asset. We're buying distressed assets in the hope that we can turn them around... It's one in a million shot that she's actually who she says she is. But if she is, she'll remember that we were the ones who had her back... she's our official Lakers correspondent.

Kevin Durant is the new official Mayor of Twitter

I'm removing the mayor of Twitter handle title from Chrissy Teigen, giving it to Kevin Durant... Kevin Durant actually engages with everybody online. And he engages with every single Twitter development... He is the official mayor of Twitter, as far as I'm concerned.

Wisconsin should be landing tall, lanky recruits from Minnesota like Chet Holmgren

If Wisconsin was at its peak as a program, we should get a guy like that, a fucking tall, lengthy dude from Minnesota. Especially with reciprocity. It should be us.

Steph Curry should be the 2021 NBA MVP

Steph for MVP. Do it. I think Steph Curry should be the most valuable player of the league. You cannot tell the story of the NBA in the year 2021 without mentioning Steph Curry.

The Dodgers are significantly overvalued by bettors and oddsmakers

Dodgers have been favored in 96 straight games dating back to 2019 season finale versus the Nationals. They've been favored in 134 of the last 136 games. That's stupid. That actually is not respect the Dodgers. It means that people respect the Dodgers too much. Way too much. That tells me that they're overvalued.

I will start watching the show 'Dave' by next Wednesday

By the time I speak to you on next Wednesday's show, within the next week, I will have started Dave. That's my resolution... I'm going to be able to fulfill on two out of those three [goals] already and three out of three by next week.

I will do everything I can to help Max Homa game the new PGA bonus system for extra money

We are absolutely going to do everything that we can to get Max Homa this extra money. Because Brooks [Koepka] will do it on his own... Max might need some help from us. [The PGA] can't get in trouble for defrauding the PGA Tour.

Criticizing the cartoon 'Bluey' for a lack of human diversity is stupid

Kids cartoon Bluey criticized for not having disabled, queer, poor, gender diverse or dogs of color. It's dogs. It's a show about cartoon dogs... none of us were [represented] because we're not dogs. It's a show about dogs. Cartoon fake dogs.

I'm calling my shot: the NFL will change the 'one-shell' helmet rule within the next two years

I think the NFL in the next two years, I'm going to call my shot, is going to change the one-shell-only rule so that there can be multiple different helmets all year long, and it's going to be sick.

I could break the underwater bench press record

The underwater bench press record was broken... repped it out 77 times, beating the previous record of 62 times. Only 110 pounds... it's more of just a holding your breath thing. So I'm kind of, you know, in the back of my head, I'm like, I could do that. I could break that record.

The 2018 AFC Championship win in Kansas City is the favorite memory of my career

My favorite memory would probably have to be when we went to Kansas City and won that game in '18... my generation of Patriots, we never won on the road in the playoffs... to go in and get that W against the odds of that game, it was special.

If Julian Edelman can't get into the Hall of Fame, we should at least induct James Devlin for his weight room intensity

I think we should put that your description of James Devlin there. That should be part of your Hall of Fame resume... the excitement that you had there to explain someone getting ready to like go to war at the squat rack. That's a football guy.

I can tell if a player can actually play just by looking them in the eyes in the huddle

Let me look a guy in the eyes and I'll tell you if he can play or not. That's what it is. It's in the huddle. When you're in a huddle, there's false eyes and there's not. You need to be able to look a dude in his eyes and really see if that guy, if he's ready for when it's going to come.

Belichick disciples fail as head coaches because they try to act like Bill without having his experience

It's hard to go in and and and try to be Bill Belichick without being Bill Belichick. You know you can't just go in and demand the respect and put like this crazy work schedule... you can't just go and try to copy what he does. It's not going to be you. A lot of these guys, they go in, they try to be a hard dick or they try to be this... I don't think you can just go and demand a team like you're Bill Belichick, unless you're Bill Belichick.

Podcast rankings are misleading; people should check episode rankings for true listener stats

How come some podcasts randomly go higher than you guys in the podcast ranking sometimes? Does that mean they get more listeners? No, it does not. So if you start a new podcast, your podcast is always going to be... It just goes to number one. That's just how it works. The way to realize the success of shows is episodes. So if you go to the episode page, you can see where shows are ranked. Just look at the episodes, bitch.

T-Rexes were actually capable of doing push-ups to get off the ground

T-Rexes could actually do push-ups with their arms. They actually would get up using this [motion].

The European Super League will destroy every club soccer team below the elite level

The richest teams in Italy, Spain, and England... are going to create a league where they're basically doing away with the Champions League. Why would we share money with everyone when we can make a super league and we get to keep all the money... it will therefore basically destroy every club soccer team below them in all of these countries. It's going to ruin the game of soccer.

I don't think the European Super League will actually happen.

I don't think it will happen. I don't think it's going to happen. But it does suck if it does happen.

Ben Askren didn't care about the Jake Paul fight and just took a paycheck

Honestly, when I saw him and he was so fat, he had the love handles for the weigh-in, I was like, that guy's not in fighting shape... I think he thought the whole thing was a sham the second he walked into the ring... So Ben Askren just went in there and was like, this is a joke. I'm going to treat it like a joke and just took his paycheck.

I would literally kill Jake Paul in a boxing ring

Jake Paul's 5'7"? If I got into a ring with him, I'd literally kill him... I'm just bad enough of a boxer that he'd take the fight because he's like, oh, this guy looks big, but he's not that good of a boxer. So he like I might beat him.

Steph Curry is the greatest shooter in the history of basketball and deserves more respect

I think that we're in the specific zone now where we don't respect Steph Curry enough... we should just remember the fact that we're watching literally the greatest shooter of all time play basketball. So we should just enjoy that and be like, holy shit, Steph Curry is awesome all the time. He is that much better of a shooter than everyone else in the history of basketball.

Zion Williamson will eventually become a New York Knick

Big time shout out to Zion for just knowing exactly what he was doing... he goes, thank you for asking me that question. Then went on for about a minute and a half talking about how New York City is his favorite place in the world to play basketball... I think, I mean, he's got to become a Knick now, right?

Everyone will hate the New York Knicks if they actually get good.

The Knicks Twitter too, I'm enjoying it right now. But that's a classic case of if the Knicks ever get really good, people will hate the Knicks so goddamn much. Because they're kind of the darling right now because it's been so long.

Anyone who announces they are retiring from Twitter is an asshole who will eventually return

Here's just a simple rule in life. If you announce that you are retiring from Twitter, you're probably a fucking asshole who will be back on Twitter in due time. That was Chrissy's biggest thing... we pulled you back in you can't fucking leave we got you we got our claws in you you're a fucking loser like us

Cicadas will cause a delay in a baseball game at some point this season.

There's probably going to be a cicada delay in a baseball game at some point this season. But I'm very excited for the influx of cicada content to hit the internet.

Zach Wilson is the best quarterback in the 2021 class; Kellen Mond is #2 and Trevor Lawrence is only the 8th.

[Billy's] quarterback rankings are Zach Wilson 1, Kellen Mond 2... Justin Fields, three. Mack Jones, four. Kyle Trask, five. Sam Ellinger, six. Trey Lance, seven. Trevor Lawrence, eight.

NFL Draft Quarterback rankings: Lawrence, Wilson, Lance, Fields, then Jones

I have Lawrence, then I have Wilson. And then to me, those are pretty distinct. I have Lawrence clearly one, Wilson clearly two. I think it's a really good discussion between Lance and Fields... I have Trey Lance over fields just with the decision-making... And then I have Mac Jones behind them.

I would take Sam Darnold over both Trey Lance and Justin Fields.

If I stacked Sam Darnold in with this class, I would go Trevor, I would take Zach, and then it would be Sam. I would take Sam over Lance and Fields. People are like, you're crazy. I'm like, dude, he's 23 years old. I loved him coming out of USC. I still think he's really good.

Kellen Mond will likely be a second or third-round pick.

I like Kellen Mond as like a second, third-round pick, but according to your intern, he's long gone by that.

There is a 60% chance DeVonta Smith is drafted outside of the top ten.

I think it's probably 60-40 in his favor that he doesn't go top 10. But still, you're very much in the game. Detroit, that's your spot.

Jameen Davis will be a late first round pick and is an explosive stud

I'll say Jameen Davis, the linebacker from Kentucky, is like one of my favorite players in the draft. So he'll probably go late first, but he's a stud, man. Like he is so explosive and he can really cover. So linebackers like that that can cover these tight ends, like there's tremendous value.

Penei Sewell is not a surefire Hall of Famer and I would take several 2020 tackles over him

I think Penei Sewell is a really good player, but I don't think he's kind of the Hall of Fame level player that he's been described as. I'm a little bit on an island from a media standpoint, but I know there's a lot of teams that feel that way. I like him. I like Slater better than him... the top three tackles last year for me were Becton, Wirfs, and Wills. Those three guys, I would take them over Penei.

The European Super League will happen because money makes the world go round.

I think this could happen, blud, because when you check the levels, Arsenal are owned by an American, Stan Kroenke... Liverpool, John Henry, American... Money makes the world go round, bro.

A-Rod is breaking up with J-Lo just for the clout

I feel like A-Rod is breaking up just for the clout these days.

Buying an NBA franchise is a better midlife crisis move than buying a sports car

What's tired: buying a sports car for your midlife crisis. Wired: buying a fucking NBA franchise.

LaMarcus Aldridge is not a Hall of Famer

[Big Cat]: is LaMarcus Aldridge a Hall of Famer? [PFT Commenter]: Nah. Hang on, hang on. Let me just be strong.

If you don't listen to Coldplay, you're a loser

I'm going to say this right now. People bash Coldplay. I guarantee you. Like, if you don't listen to Coldplay, you're a loser.

J-Lo should buy the New York Mets as an all-time flex on A-Rod

You know what would be an all-time flex if J-Lo went out and she bought the New York Mets? If she invested in it.

Ronald Acuna Jr. and Luka Doncic are the faces of baseball and basketball

Ronald Acuna and Luka Doncic, are they both the faces of their respective sports? ... they both have a young crop of superstars. He [Acuna] needs to take over the league.

You should be allowed to do anything to break up a no-hitter, but you must accept getting hit by a pitch the next day

My opinion on no hitters and perfect games, I think you should get to do anything to try to break it up, but you also should get to throw it at their head the next day.

Trevor Lawrence does not actually like football

[Trevor Lawrence] actually doesn't like football, which means that he's never fought to keep playing football. And he's going to get to a point in the NFL for the first time in his life where he's never had to play hard to keep playing football.

Winter and summer menus at salad restaurants are absurd

I just think it's absurd that they have winter and summer menus in a fucking salad place. ... What's the difference between salad in the winter and salad in the summer?