Takes

The Patriots and Cowboys both need immediate players-only meetings

The Cowboys did that [players only meeting] last week, they should have broke the glass because it is a case of emergency, and the Patriots should be doing it Monday morning. They should be doing it tomorrow because somebody needs to stand up and talk and take control.

The Titans are still a high-level team that can compete with the Steelers on any given Sunday

I still think that the Titans are really good. The way that they came back in the second half... I think that either one of these teams [Steelers and Titans] on any given Sunday could beat the other. I didn't walk away being like 'Damn Pittsburgh has their number.'

Rutgers is officially back and will be bowl eligible this season

Rutgers is back. Rutgers got a big win. They are bowl eligible. I kind of told everyone... that was going to happen. I'm a believer in this 'shadow man' [Greg Schiano]... Rutgers will hit the season over.

The NFC East will win a playoff game this year

I guarantee I'm here's my stamp. The NFC East I think is going to win a playoff game this year. There's going to be some shitty team that fucks it all up stumbles into the playoffs... and they're going to win by like one score maybe like three points in that early Saturday time slot.

The Browns will beat the Bengals because they'll run for over 200 yards

I think the Browns are going to smoke the Bengals because I think they're just going to run the ball... the last time these two teams played the Browns were able to run the ball I think like 250 yards. So I would imagine it's going to be... if Baker Mayfield doesn't have to throw more than 20 times... I think the Browns can have some success.

The Washington Football Team will win against the Dallas Cowboys

I think they're going to win this game, by the way... I think the Cowboys are that bad. And again the Cowboys is never a good sign when the Boys players say we wanted to keep this all in-house but our coaches suck.

The Lions are about to go on an itty-bitty baby run

I'm calling it right now lines about to go on a teeny little bit of itty-bitty little baby run. I little baby run... I'm going to say the lions are going to be 6 & 5. They're going to be one of the two are the lines going to be in the hunt?

No team will get out of the Big Ten West with fewer than three losses

My prediction was nobody's getting out of the West with fewer than three losses this year and I honestly think that's the case because when I look at Wisconsin and Minnesota who are the two prohibitive favorites in the division, I don't think the gap between them and Illinois is all that wide.

Tanner Morgan will be a first-round NFL draft pick

They have Tanner Morgan at quarterback who's probably one of them under more underrated quarterbacks in the country, I think he's a first round NFL draft pick next Spring and most people don't even know who he is.

Northwestern vs. Maryland will go under the point total

I'm slipping into the warm and comfortable feel of a Northwestern Under against Maryland this weekend because the total is at like 54.5... Northwestern scored 12 points per game in the conference last year Maryland scored 16... 16 plus 12 does not equal 55.

I will run a 5K in under 30 minutes

I'm going to be running. I think Billy you're running it too, right? My prediction for my time... somewhere under 30 minutes.

John Wall playing cards during an interview is more disrespectful than what Jeffrey Toobin did

I don't know that I agree with that because I think that when he [John Wall] know I don't... he was saying that the two guys that were doing the interview? I'm gonna fucking beat you guys and I can do what I want... jacking off on a zoom call work bad got moderately bad playing Spades during an interview with field Yates. Death penalty.

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can and I'm actually believe all these things that I have just said.

The Dallas Cowboys are dead

The Dallas Cowboys are dead. D-E-A-D dead. Mike McCarthy... six weeks into the season and there's already a mutiny. He looks like he's given up. [The Cowboys] are ridiculously bad.

Dak Prescott sitting Indian style in the shotgun would be a better quarterback than Andy Dalton

Dak Prescott not moving would be better than Andy Dalton. ... [Or] Dak sitting down Indian style, like he's got a cramp, in the shotgun formation just on his ass. I think that Dak Prescott not moving would be better than Andy [Dalton].

Every team in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick

Any one of these... anyone in the NFC East should try to get Ryan Fitzpatrick. The reason is pretty simple. You can maybe win the division at 6-10. Seven and nine, you're a lock. And all you need to do is like hope that the Fitzmagic times up perfectly at the start of the playoffs.

Josh Allen is no longer an MVP candidate

Josh Allen... he played bad. The Bills looked they have not looked great in the last two weeks. You know, he was not going to be the MVP now. He had a great start to the year. He's probably not gonna be the MVP now. I think that's fair to say.

The Chiefs are the only true Super Bowl contenders in the NFL right now

Contenders: I only have the Chiefs. I only have the Chiefs because I only feel like really, really confident that the Chiefs... I don't see a 'but' with the Chiefs, especially when they just decided they were going to run the ball better than any team has ever run the ball against the Bills.

Clemson could beat the Jets if the Jets had mono

Do you think that Clemson could beat the Jets if they all had mono? Yeah, I agree. [If] Trevor Lawrence has mono and just straight up against Alabama... If Clemson like kills both all the quarterbacks that are listed for the game then they have a chance.

The Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick than Philip Rivers

I have a take that's going to hurt my own myself, but I think the Colts would be better with Ryan Fitzpatrick. That would be wild wouldn't it? That would be wild now we're now that you said it it kind of makes sense.

Ezekiel Elliott is officially fat

Ezekiel Elliott. Is he fat? I think Ezekiel might be fat now. Well, yeah when he starts mumbling he is. And also the nose ring's gotta go when you fumble you gotta take it out.

Joe Buck did nothing wrong with his flyover comments

Recurring guest Joe Buck... our good friend... he's on the hot seat because some rat from the Fox Sports production crew leaked audio of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman talking about the flyover and how it's like a waste of jet fuel... he didn't say anything wrong, right?

You should never jack off at a computer, ever

I think just a good rule of thumb is never jack off at a computer. Ever, ever, ever, ever. Just use your imagination or just put it to the side. ... No one's ever been busted jacking off to a Penthouse. Put it slightly to the side and you'll be set.

Clayton Kershaw is the greatest postseason pitcher of all time

Clayton Kershaw has the most wins in my book of any starter in the last 25 years since the wild card came around. So yeah, he's he might be the best postseason pitcher out there of all time.

You have to out-prepare everyone so that you have the freedom to be yourself in the moment

That moment is when I said, okay, bullshit, from now I'm gonna over-prepare. I'm going to out-prepare people. ... You gotta prepare to be free. You gotta do the early work so you can play on the day. ... Be conservative early so that you can be liberal later.

The Washington football team should be renamed the Red Wolves

I'm pushing for the Washington Red Wolves. I think I just think it'd be cool that you got the teeth. You got all the fans in the stands, just making big howling noises. ... I just think that there are no professional football teams named after dogs and everybody loves dogs, right?

Dorks try to be everything to everybody, and you can't trust them

Being cool [is] being yourself and being cool with yourself and just not trying to be everything to everybody. ... I got no problem with nerds. I just don't like dorks. [A dork] tries to be everything to everybody, you can't really trust him. ... Give me an asshole before you give me a dork.

Relying on a cool car to make you cool actually makes you a dork

I traded [my truck] in for that red 300ZX with T-tops. How cool am I? I became a dork. I was relying on my car... letting my car do the work for me. ... I realized, dude, you out-foxed yourself. This fucking red sports car is just blue-balling you. So I went down and traded it back in for my truck.

The best way to bet is on intangibles like jet lag and personal tragedies

I love the intangibles. ... I like the fun when I think and believe that Miami's gonna be jet-lagged against San Fran and they come out slow... or Brett Favre's dad just passed away. Oh, he's playing for more than the game. He's going to be unconscious tonight. Boom. Well, you know, I love going with that.

Switching to being a Ravens fan is a heavy lifestyle commitment involving purple cargo shorts and defending Ray Lewis

Switching to becoming a Ravens fan... is a much heavier commitment. ... [You wear] purple gray and black camo cargo shorts like six days [a week]... and just smelling like crab chips all day and mispronouncing your L's. ... Then you have to have all these counter-arguments ready for when people bring up Ray Lewis or Ray Rice. It just becomes exhausting.

Guys who work out too much are almost always bad at sports

Guys who work out too much suck at sports. ... Muscle-bound, mostly true. ... He says that guys who are jacked are bad at sports and that's the reason they work out. Is there any truth to this? Yes. Yeah. Well guys we work out too much suck at sports. [They] can't shoot the basketball.

The 49ers are officially back

Niners are officially back. Also George Kittle is a hundred percent back because I don't know how he got that open, but he he deserves a couple easy ones... Niners are officially back a hundred percent back.

I am still buying the Eagles to win the NFC East

I have actually two takeaways from this game. And the first one is I'm still buying the Eagles. Yeah, so I think that there are they could have beaten the Ravens today... the NFC East is terrible Dak Prescott got hurt and the next four games for the Eagles are giants Cowboys Giants Browns. Mmm. I think they're going to go at least three in one and we're going to be sitting here being like watch out for the Eagles.

Lamar Jackson can't come from behind when trailing

Lamar, he's not really that great playing with a small lead either... we talked about him not being able to come from behind at all. Even if you're up by like two scores. He's just he's limited some time.

Ryan Tannehill's success is officially not a fluke

Ryan Tannehill good is we made all the jokes in the world, but the Step has been taken and it is fully been taken. This is not a statistical anomaly anymore because last year the end of the year, we're like, oh he's doing it. But he's just playing out of his head. We're now six weeks into the 2020 season... He's good.

I am done betting on the Colts for the rest of the year

I don't know what to make of the Colts. I really don't. I think I have to stop—I'm not betting on them the rest of the year because I just can't. They're just a very weird team.

There is a zero percent chance the Patriots miss the playoffs

What do you think that the chances are that the Patriots miss the playoffs entirely is here? Zero. Zero percent chance here.

There are too many quarterbacks in the NFL right now

There are too many quarterbacks in the NFL right now. Yes, there aren't enough teams that have like a dire dire situation... We've got kind of a log Jam and come through... There's like I don't know maybe five teams where it's like, you know for a fact they're gonna be okay want a quarterback.

The Browns are going to be a 10-win team this year

The Browns are gonna be okay. Browser going to be okay... I think they can have on the rest of their season Bengals, Texans, Jaguars, Giants, Jets... they can be a ten win team somehow.

The Bears will be underdogs every week and I will keep betting on them

The Bears are 5-1. I don't give a fuck how they're winning. They're going to be underdogs every single game. I'm going to keep betting on them... the defense is back... I know that deep down the Bears are destined for a 10 and 6 11 and 5 record and then to lose in a heartbreaking way in the first round and everyone to shit down my throat.

The Bears are destined for an 11-5 record followed by a heartbreaking first-round playoff loss

I know that deep down the Bears are destined for a 10 and 6, 11 and 5 record and then to lose in a heartbreaking way in the first round and everyone to shit down my throat.

Adam Gase's ability to stay employed is commendable

I actually am going to zag on everyone and say like I I applaud Adam gase for getting this far in life. Yeah, it's incredible what he has done... It is a great lesson for everyone out there get yourself next to someone great and have everyone else think that you had something to do with it. And you're set for life.

The Packers struggle when they step up in class against physical teams

This is the same issue the Packers had last year they step up in class. They step up against a physical team and they don't look like the same, you know team that was started this season 5 and over... but the Bucks played physical they Blitz they fucking play great defense. Aaron Rodgers look lost.

Aaron Rodgers will torch the Texans and Vikings in his next two games

The Packers are going to by the way like this—this is why it sucks to even throw out the thought, the hints, the whiff of the F-word [fraud] with the Packers because they're playing the Texans and the Vikings next. Aaron Rodgers is going to have like 15 touchdowns against those two teams.

The Browns are a 'JB' (Junior Boy) team, not Varsity yet

They're JB. You know that, we know that, everyone knows that. They know that they're JB. They're not Varsity yet... the whole team, they're not on that level yet, man. They got a ways to go.

Trevor Lawrence will pull an Elway and an Eli Manning to refuse to play for the Jets

I feel like Trevor Lawrence is going to pull a Elway in an Eli. Mmm-hmm and say I'm not doing that... It's something wrong with the organization. You can't have it. It's not too many. That's too many consecutive quarterbacks in the in a system.

Only 5 or 6 NFL franchises are actually committed to winning the Super Bowl every year

The NFL is a bunch of franchises that—there are a handful of franchises that are consistently trying to win the Super Bowl. And everyone else—that's it. Everyone else just trying to make a little money and maybe sneak in the playoffs every now and then and then you have like five or six franchises, like 'this is our commitment to try to win the Super Bowl every single year.'

If Alabama loses to Georgia without Nick Saban on the sideline, it shouldn't count as a loss

If Alabama loses does it count? Is it a Coach K thing? Does Nick Saban not get this on his record? ... I unironically think yes. I think Nick Saban will get in front of the press and say exactly that. Be like, 'Hey, guess what? That wasn't my team. That was Steve Sarkisian's team.'

Nick Saban is worth seven points to the betting line in an Alabama game

I do kind of think that Nick Saban is definitely worth seven points in a game. So if they lose by fewer than seven points, then I would say this does not count as a loss.

Peyton Manning is definitely using HGH

Billy football spotted that he's got the Omaha Beach... Omaha Beach nipples... possible HGH. ... He's obviously taking always multiple nipples like a pig. ... Definitely juicing, definitely realizing I feel like a lot of retired guys just start juicing because they could never do it during their career.