Takes

The sighting of a white spirit bear in Canada is a sign of good things to come

Cool throne all of us because there was a white spirit bear spotted in Canada, which is a sign of good things to come. Yeah, so cool throne all of us. White bears are here. Yeah, like it's a phenotype of a Grizzly where it has white fur. Hell yeah.

Jameis Winston will be a Hall of Fame quarterback

Jameis Winston has told himself that he is one of the best quarterbacks... 'I know what I'm worth and I know day in and day out without publicly coming in and saying it that historically I'm one of the best quarterbacks to play the game'... According to history, Jameis is a Hall of Fame quarterback... I'm on the right side of history. Jameis Winston is going to be a Hall of Famer.

I could beat Jameis Winston in a boxing match

Watching him box—I actually think I could beat up Jameis Winston and I'm not a good boxer. Wow. He looks like a beginner out there... I hereby challenge Jameis Winston to fight me in Rough N' Rowdy... I'm a wide five-nine. I'm like a chode. My arms are longer than those of a five-nine man... If I fought Jameis Winston straight up, I'd just double leg him and take him down.

Jameis Winston is like a cicada because he is blind and destined to die

Jameis Winston is a cicada. He showed up when he was 17 and he's blind. And then he's gonna die. We all do.

I will have the greatest gambling season of my life because of clovers in my new yard

I'm moving and I got a little patch of grass, shrubbery at the new place... Talk to the previous tenant, he said if you look close enough, there's a bunch of four-leaf clovers in there. So I'm about to have the greatest gambling season of my life.

I am going to win the National Championship with Tennessee

I am so scared, so, so scared, but I also feel confident that I'm going to win. I'm going to win. I'm going to win this game. Right in blood.

Virginia Tech sucks and their traditions are stupid

The bottom line is Virginia Tech sucks and their traditions are stupid.

I'll match $100 for every person wearing the #BunsOfAnarchy tag during the Peloton ride

I'll match the $100 per rider of anyone that's wearing the buns of anarchy hashtag on the leaderboard... if there's 250 people on the leaderboard... I'll personally give $2,500.

Having low-hanging fruit for people to criticize is a great shield against being called an asshole

having some low-hanging fruit that everyone can always pin you to is actually not a bad thing. Because then they won't... No one will be like, fuck PFT, I think he's an asshole. They'll be like, fuck PFT, he just didn't give the money he said he was going to give to charity. You basically give them a layup.

You can get a million dollars for a kidney and you don't even need both of them

You can get like a million dollars for a kidney. It's way more than what you need... You can sell parts of your liver because it grows back. Remember Hercules?

Conor McGregor will be out of retirement by October or November to fight Khabib

But I'm sure he's not coming back. No way. In like October. No chance. Or November. Whenever Khabib's next up to fight him.

College coaches who claim they don't know what's happening in their programs are lying

Every coach that has ever coached in college basketball or football is the biggest control freak you've ever met. They know everything. They know everything that goes on. Everything that goes on on campus, no matter what.

Any move I make is by definition a 'Blake move' because I am a Blake

I seem to subscribe to the thought that any move I do is a Blake move because I am a Blake and I'm not sure that you guys can quite speak to that because you've never been a Blake.

NBA players will be mostly fine and ready once the playoffs start in Orlando

I feel like once they get to the actual playoffs, like I think guys will be fine. The only thing I'm really worried about is like injuries. But I think they put enough time in to allow guys to be prepared as possible. But, yeah, there will be some rust, but I don't think it will be too bad.

Carmelo Anthony will thrive in the Orlando bubble because he's a pickup basketball legend

Carmelo is probably going to be awesome because he loves playing in those gyms. The lifetime fitness all-stars. Those are the guys I'm going to betting on.

The 2020 NBA Champion will always have an asterisk due to the unique nature of the year

I think it's always going to have an asterisk just because of the year. I don't know that it takes anything else away from winning a championship but like just the year is just so insane... it's just completely different.

The NBA season should start on Christmas Day to avoid competing with football

I do think that we should we should push our start date back just because we're having we're competing against college football and nfl football just so big. I feel like the casual fan of sports doesn't really care about basketball until christmas anyway.

The Saints should sign Colin Kaepernick following the Drew Brees controversy

I think the least that Roger Goodell and Drew Brees could do is make the Saints sign Colin Kaepernick. That's a spicy take. I like it.

The worst part of vacation is waking up on the third day after binge drinking

Waking up on the third day after binge drinking for two days, and it really just all sets in. I think Thursday. I basically just slept all day.

Different state laws are a top reason to stay home rather than go on vacation

Changing state laws. Like getting arrested in Virginia with a radar scanner... So I just like to stay home and I'll come to work anytime. This is way better than a cubicle by any means.

September 20, 2020 will be the perfect sports day

September 20th is going to be a hell of a day in sports. Yeah, it's going to be the day when all the sports line. We're going to have NBA playoffs. We're going to have hockey playoffs. You've got also golf the US Open that's the final round of that on that day.

Hockey is not one of the major four sports

No hockey doesn't count hockey doesn't count. Not one of the major four sports. What's the fourth? MLS?

The NBA return plan is effectively the 'Zion Williamson rule'

The New Orleans Pelicans are right now the 10th seed... they want to figure out a way to get Zion West and I am all for that. It's the Zion rule. Adam Silver could have just gotten in front of the nation and been like 'Hey guys Zion, have you heard of him? Kind of a big deal and we want to make sure that he's involved in this no matter what.'

I will guest on one random podcast with 100-200 followers every day next week

I will do one random podcast per day starting on Monday. And the criteria is it has to have between one and two hundred followers on Twitter. So it can't be like a brand new podcast, more random the better. I'll do five podcasts and then I'm done.

Amanda Nunes is the greatest mixed martial artist of all time

[Amanda Nunes] is without a doubt the greatest to ever do it. Not just all the names of the who's who that she beat, but how she beats them. She has the one-punch knockout power. She knocks people out or she submits you, but she is always going for a finish.

Sports media members are 'fucking dorks' and 'wimps' who wanted to stop the UFC from returning

The media are wimps amongst wimps. wimps will be slapping those guys around. Most of them are fucking dorks. Opinion really means nothing to me... what they wanted to do was stop this fucking event. They felt that shouldn't happen or their fucking egos wanted to prove that they could stop this thing.

Drew Brees apologized for the public backlash, not for his actual stance on kneeling

Drew Brees apologized for the backlash like he apologized because he pissed off America. Drew Brees never said, 'I apologize for my stance.' He basically went to bed last night and couldn't sleep. I was uncomfortable probably for one of the few nights in his life. He didn't sleep, right? He was up early today to do this. And hopefully he learns it's not going to be as easy as sending an apology because this is the same stance he had in 2016.

LSU will finish as a Top 10 team in the 2020 season

I definitely expect top 10 [for LSU]. I think where in the top 10 is going to depend on the quarterback that we have. LSU has now entered into the realm of, 'hey baby, we don't rebuild, we just reload.' That's all we do.

Counterfeit wine is the perfect crime

It's the perfect crime. Really, even though he's in jail, I know that sounds very counterintuitive because you got caught, but finding a way to sell to get a bunch of rich white dudes drunk and then pulling a scheme on them while they're drunk is genius.

Wine snobs are 99% full of shit

It kind of reveals what I thought all along—why people are full of shit. Most of them are. 99% of them... I think that most people could probably tell the difference between a seven dollar bottle wine and like a $70 bottle, but anything above that you can be influenced by a cool-looking label.

No one can tell the difference between wines once the price is above $70

I think that most people could probably tell the difference between a seven dollar bottle wine and like a $70 bottle, but anything above that you can be influenced by a cool-looking label. It could be influenced by somebody who talks with enough authority that he's telling you that this is good.

The Buccaneers at number five is fine because they already had a decent core and a good defense

I'm actually okay with the Bucs being five because the Bucs... they had the core of a decent team last year. They just had a quarterback that threw 30 interceptions... And they had a pretty good defense, too.

The Buccaneers' rushing attack is underrated

I also think that the running game in Tampa is underrated... so many people are talking about Tom Brady and Gronk and Mike Evans that no one's talking about Barber and the rushing attack that they had, which was pretty effective.

Peter King's power rankings are influenced by which coaches and quarterbacks return his phone calls

Once you get out of the top five, you can tell which coaches and quarterbacks return Peter King's calls. Because that's also why Tom Brady's up there is because he calls him back.

The Bills should win the AFC East this year

the bills should win the afc east this year

The Cardinals will be everyone's dark horse team this summer

Cardinals, right now, I'm just calling it, they are going to be everyone's dark horse team. Yeah, because it's going to be like they can't be as bad as they were last year, plus year two with a new coach.

I am a Drew Lock believer and would rank the Broncos between 12th and 15th

I'd put Broncos in the 12 to 15 region. I'm a Drew Lock guy.

The Texans being determined to 'feed' David Johnson is a bad sign for their offense

I think David Johnson, I think that's a bad thing. Bad thing because you know Bill O'Brien's like, we got to feed David Johnson. And he's not David Johnson anymore.

The Browns will be the 13th best team in the NFL and will make the playoffs

I'm actually going to put the Browns at 13. I'm a Browns believer. They're going back to the fullback game this year.

The Giants are the most likely team of the bottom five to make the playoffs

I actually think the Giants could, of those five bottom teams, if I had to pick one of those five bottom teams to make the playoffs, I would throw in the Giants. Just because the NFC never makes sense. Daniel Jones, maybe he stops fumbling all the time.

A 50-game MLB season is too short to weed out the bad teams

I think 50 would be exciting, but it also would be maddening to watch a team... 50 games is tough. 70-80, I think you can weed out. You'll still have a couple teams where you can point to and say there's no way they would have lasted an entire season.

Jake Paul is the Forrest Gump of clout chasers and his behavior is disgusting

Jake Paul is the Forrest Gump of clout chasers. He just shows up anytime there's a big event and he's like 'I'm in it too for a vlog.' I think it's disgusting and everyone on the internet thinks it's disgusting.

Lenny Dykstra's reputation is so bad that it is now a legal asset

Lenny Dykstra, it was ruled by an actual court of law in the United States that you cannot libel Lenny Dykstra because his reputation is already so bad that you can't make it worse... He shot the moon with his reputation. It's become so bad that it's actually an asset.

Philip Rivers and Roy Williams should start cursing to improve their pain tolerance and win championships

My hot seat is Phil Rivers and Roy Williams because researchers found that saying the word fuck can improve your threshold for pain... when you say fudge or dang it or gosh darn it, it's worse... could you imagine what [Rivers] would be like as a quarterback if he actually said fuck? Do you think if Phil Rivers starts cussing, then he wins a Super Bowl? Probably.

The Forrest Gump book is not as good as the movie

I think it's not even close... I think the author is a talented man and I couldn't have imagined it without him. But I think I just took off in my own direction and something spoke to me.

Writer's block doesn't exist; you just need to 'change the weather' in the script

I've never, I've had places where I've gotten sort of stopped, but I just... what I have always advised people was change the weather. In other words, make it rain, make it snow, do something different just with the weather. And all of a sudden you have a different look at things.

Forrest Gump 2 will never happen

No, that won't happen. I mean, I'll tell you some things that were in it, but I did write the script and I turned it in on 9-10. The day before 9-11 and Bob and Zemeckis... and Tom Hanks and I sat together and we looked at each other and said, that's the end of this.

Sam Cooke is a great, great singer

Sam Cooke is exactly right. Great, great singer.

David Fincher and Martin Scorsese are the best living directors

but David Fincher to me is the best, probably let's say Marty and him best living directors.

The NFL will move full steam ahead with the season regardless of protocols

Al Michaels felt pretty serious if football is going to happen, what you like it or not... They're just going full steam ahead. That's what I wondered. Don't they have any protocols? No. What virus? ... Rub some dirt on it. That's their protocol.