Takes

Mitch Trubisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes if the Bears and Chiefs swapped draft positions

Actually, Will Brinson had a hot take... that if Mitch Trubisky got drafted by the Chiefs and Patrick Mahomes got drafted by the Bears, Mitch Trubisky would be better than Patrick Mahomes. ... It's an institutional failure, which I actually agree with that kind of.

Global warming might make Super Bowl LIV the last one ever in Miami

Do you think anyone will write the enjoy this Miami Super Bowl because with global warming there may not be another one? ... What has changed since the last time Miami had the Super Bowl? Well, the water has risen. And now, you know, all these houses are going to be submerged next time we have it.

Chad Johnson is a coward for no-showing his XFL trial

Chad Johnson [is on the hot seat] because he didn't show up for his XFL trial, unlike me... No-showed, because he knew that there was a superior alpha that had already gone down there and kicked the shit out of balls. He's a coward.

Tim Tebow is better at baseball than Michael Jordan was

Better than Jordan at baseball, yeah. Oh, the stats will bear me out.

The 2020 NFL Draft stage in Las Vegas will lead to players falling in the water

The NFL Draft is going to have a stage in the Bellagio pool, and players are going to be transported in a boat... Well, there should definitely be props on which player is going in the water.

Tom Brady going to the Raiders would make them the most liked team in the NFL

Brady, I wouldn't even be mad if he went to the Raiders. And if he went to the Raiders, everyone would be rooting for the Vegas Raiders. If he decides to go to the Raiders, which would be shocking, that team would be electric.

Mitch Trubisky is going to be a great quarterback

Mitch Trubisky is going to be great. I mean, he had good spurts, right? I mean, I don't even think he would tell you that he's a finished product yet, but he has a lot of potential... Mitch is definitely not bad.

Drew Lock is a rock star leader for the Broncos

We got a rock star. Rock star. We got a rock star, like owning out the football field. I saw his demeanor with the other rookies... he was like the leader of the rookies off top from day one. And everybody just kind of gravitated towards him.

Philip Rivers is a Hall of Fame quarterback

I'm going to miss it [the rivalry]. He's a Hall of Fame quarterback in my eyes. He's a great quarterback. It would just be weird to look at the San Diego Chargers or the LA Chargers without Philip Rivers.

Odell Beckham Jr. probably handed out fake money at the National Championship as a stunt

But it was fake money. It was fake money. No, it was fake money... Knowing Odell [Beckham Jr.] personally, he probably—it was probably just like a stunt. Like he knew the camera was right there... He probably did that on purpose, like gave him the fake money to like make everybody go crazy.

I would be a successful goal-line running back or tight end

I feel like I would be the Von Miller of running backs if I was a running back... I've had this pitch for about since we won the Super Bowl. I should be playing offense in the goal line package. I practice with Todd Davis and I just don't feel like they can cover me like they can cover other tight ends.

I will pay the Pardon My Take hosts $1,000 each for every offensive touchdown I score next season

If you score a touchdown on offense... every single touchdown you score, you give each of us $1,000. [Von Miller] I like it. Done. ... Handshake deal. It's legal.

A New York City rat would beat a chicken in a fight

Who wins a fight? A New York rat or a chicken? [Von Miller] I'd say the rats. ... If it's a mouse, it's over [for the mouse]. But a rat, like especially a New York rat, it's over [for the chicken].

Peter Weber is not cut out for the bright lights of being The Bachelor

Pete's acting like a mopey little bitch. ... He's crying over the fact that these girls... He can't handle the drama. He doesn't want any of the smoke. But he also signed up to be The Bachelor. He's not cut out for the bright lights.

Real 'hot boys' don't work with lawyers

DeMarcus Lawrence... he is working with attorneys to prevent the use of [the name 'Hot Boys'] by anyone other than the Cowboys... A real hot boy knows that other people call hot boys. Hot boys don't work with lawyers.

LeBron James blaming his son for a poor performance is a new low

LeBron blames his son. A new low. A new low. Even for LeBron. He has gone as low as possible. He has blamed his son on his poor performance on Monday night. He said that he was a little out of rhythm because he went and watched his son play basketball in a tournament.

Cows are going to have a big year for the economy

I'm investing big time here... I'm investing in cows. I feel like cows are gonna have a big gear. Spaulding still out there doing it.

The NFL's new roughing the passer rules make it harder for defensive players to tackle running quarterbacks like Patrick Mahomes

I actually think that a little hot take, but the new rules with hitting quarterbacks makes it harder for defensive players to fully go at a quarterback. It felt like guys wanted to tackle him, but it also felt like if they went too hard they would get a penalty. You very rarely get a clean shot on a quarterback in the open field and they missed it.

A Super Bowl win will take Andy Reid's legacy from a great coach to one of the best ever

Andy Reid is in that classic situation where his legacy, if he wins a Super Bowl, will change so dramatically. He's been such a good coach for so long... that one Super Bowl win will take him from a great coach to like one of the best.

Sports teams that wear the color red are statistically more dominant across all professional leagues

I read a study 15 years ago... that teams that wear the color red are dominant if you look across all sports professionally. There's like a small bit of darwinian or evolutionary trait being bright red gives you as a show of dominance.

I am officially worried about Aaron Rodgers' mental health and engagement after the NFC Championship loss

I'm officially worried about [Aaron Rodgers'] mental health. He looked disinterested, disengaged... he just looked like somebody that has been fucking Brett Favre for a while, just like a completely blank look on his face. He was just not impressed, not happy to even be there.

Spin Zone: The Packers are an average quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender

The Packers roster, here's a nice Spin Zone for Packer fans: the Packers roster is an average quarterback away from being a Super Bowl contender. I think if they had benched Aaron Rodgers at halftime, that was way to go get a spark.

I am betting the over on Super Bowl 54 no matter what the line is

The opening line for the Super Bowl is Chiefs minus 1 over unders 53, I'm gonna take the over no matter. What for everything. Yeah. I don't care.

In the NFL postseason, running the ball doesn't matter in the AFC, but it is essential in the NFC

What we've truly learned from this sample size, I think it's big enough: in the AFC, running football doesn't work. In the NFC, you need to be able to run the football and it doesn't matter if you're able to pass. Running backs that run for over 200 yards with four touchdowns, their team wins 100% of the time.

Conor McGregor is officially back after his 40-second knockout of Donald Cerrone

My whose back is Conor McGregor? He's back. He's so fucking Back. 40 seconds. Cowboys around 40 seconds. Peace, he's back the shoulder straps invented.

If you are a man with a fat face, you must have high-volume hair to distract people from your cheeks

If you're a bigger guy, you need to have your hair have as much volume as possible to hide the fact that you have a fat face. When you put on a hat, it always makes your face look fatter. All the focus goes to your fat fucking cheeks. So you need to have hair, just crazy hair, to take away. Hair and beard are a fat guy's best friend.

The rumor that Jose Altuve wore a vibrating buzzer to steal signs is likely true

I've heard that rumor and I have no first-hand knowledge of it. I'll say that but I've heard that rumor from three independent people that don't know each other around baseball and generally speaking when you hear it from multiple sources that aren't in the same facility... it's true.

The Astros are not the only MLB team that uses technology to illegally steal signs

I don't think it's just the Astros. I think there's other teams doing something similar or the same or the Astros were just the team that everyone kind of knew about. I think that's it.

Trevor Lawrence is overrated and played poorly in the National Championship game

Trevor Lawrence played like shit in the national championship game. Yeah. I had no idea. Overrated. 17 overthrows. There you go.

The Chicago Cubs should be retroactively awarded the 2017 World Series because of the Astros and Dodgers cheating scandals

The other thing they should do is retroactively give the Cubs a 2017 World Series. So back-to-back, no big deal. We lost to the Dodgers and the Dodgers lost to the Astros. Cheaters, cheaters, cheaters. Just do the right thing.

Sign stealing is the most American thing you can do

If we hadn't stolen signs in World War II, we'd all be speaking Japanese. Sign stealing is the most American thing someone can do.

The Chiefs and the 49ers will both win on Championship Sunday

The Chiefs and the 49ers are both going to win on Sunday. If you parlay them, it's even money. That's pretty nice, pretty tasty.

I'm betting on the Titans to cover the spread against the Chiefs

I'm betting on the Titans. ... Against the spread, not straight up. Seven and a half, seven right now, actually. Yeah, I'm betting on the Titans right now, but I'm rooting for the Chiefs.

The Chiefs and the Titans game will hit the over on 53 points

I'm taking the over and I don't care because I actually, when you're looking at this game, I feel like both offenses match up perfectly with both defenses... Give me the over. 53. I don't care.

The Packers have no chance to beat the 49ers in the NFC Championship

The Packers' defense cannot stop the 49ers' offense, and the Packers' offense cannot stop the 49ers' defense. I don't see a way that the Pack win this game. I really don't.

I could still run for 500 to 600 yards in an NFL season today

Maybe I can put up, I don't know, 500, 600 yards, something like that for the season. ... At 50, I feel like I could run maybe a 4.5, 4.6 [40-yard dash], you know?

I can no longer dunk on a 10-foot basketball hoop

Not at the moment, no. I don't think I could dunk a 10-foot goal. I'm sorry, man... I've tried to touch the rim. So if you can't touch the rim, then you probably can't dunk. No, I can't. I can't touch it.

Ezekiel Elliott is the hardest running back in the NFL to tackle

For the running back position, I'd say Zeke. He runs behind his pads well, so I give it to Zeke.

I can take Quenton Nelson in a fight

[Big Cat]: You versus Quenton Nelson. Who wins in a fight? [Darius Leonard]: In a fight? I'm with me. Yes. I'm a competitor... Yeah, I can take him. It's not the size of the dog that's in the fight, but the size of the fight that's in the dog.

Conor McGregor will defeat Cowboy Cerrone at UFC 246

Connor versus Cowboy. I'm going to go with Connor in this one.

I can definitely hit a 35-yard field goal right now

I'd say when [the tryout] went good, not great. ... Mr. 35 Yards. ... I didn't do as bad as I was fearing that I was going to do. ... [Big Cat and Hank] would both make them on your first time [but] we would suck.

I could outkick Jay Feeley if we were both forced to kick field goals while wearing suits and reporting on the sideline

Could PFT outkick Jay Feeley now if they were both wearing suits and reporting on the sideline and immediately got called in to start kicking field goals? Definitely. Jay Feeley's a fucking loser. He needs his two little weird gloves to be able to kick. I don't need that shit.

There is a 50% chance I get signed to an XFL contract

Let me say, I think that there is actually like a 50% chance that I do get an XFL contract, that I am signed to the XFL. I'm going to find out on Wednesday night and be able to report on Thursday morning what happened.

LSU is in the conversation for the best college football team of all time

Doubting them was the... I mean they are in the conversation for best college football team of all time. They beat five out of the top eight teams. They destroyed everyone. They had the best resume of any college football team to ever exist.

I would have been a more effective offensive coordinator for LSU early in the national title game

In the first quarter when they were getting there were losing the field position battle you're getting pinned... I was yelling. I was screaming at the field because I was like, you need to have a running back in the backfield at least pretend like you're going to run the ball. I was questioned the play calls there... I talked to a lot of shit about [Joe Brady's] play calling. I thought it was bad on the first couple drives.

Urban Meyer failing to start Joe Burrow is a stain on his legacy as a talent evaluator

I think it's time to have the conversation whether or not Urban Meyer if it's a stain on his legacy that he did not start Joe Burrow. Is he a bad Talent evaluator? We as a nation need to have that conversation.

I'm officially an anti-South Carolina guy now

I started talking shit about South Carolina on the interview with Stanford Steve and I think I'm going to lean into it and just being anti South Carolina guy. But yeah, it's fucking weird to just roll around with $2 bills.

Clemson should have the nickname 'Tigers' revoked

Clemson, I think that we should revoke the nickname Tigers from them. Yes. They're no longer the Tigers. They got out Tigard. I think that I'm going to pick up the trash can a second we should call them the Elder Oaks... right now LSU is the official Tigers.

I am a better and more accurate kicker than Chad Ochocinco because I am 'Mr. 35 Yards'

I'm not scared of you Chad. I'm coming for you Chad. I'm a better Kicker than you. I'm more accurate. They call me Mr. 35 yards. Hmm. That's what they call me because I go 99 percent from 35 yards so I don't care if I can't kick a 60-yarder but I can hit a 35-yarder twice.

College football broadcasts make every coach look like they are going bald, except Ed Orgeron

Whatever camera angles and Camera filters or whatever they use to focus on coaches on the sidelines. They can take a coach that is probably not losing their hair and make it look like that coach is balding. Every coach looks balding on college football broadcasts. Coach Orgeron, his hair overpowered that.