Takes

The altitude in Denver adds 5-8 yards to your throw

I thought you're getting five to eight yards on a throw there. And the ball just cuts... in Denver, the ball just keeps sailing. It just keeps going. [In Denver], probably high 70s [is the farthest I could throw].

Mike Martz had no conscience when it came to calling high-risk plays

I'll give it to Mike [Martz]. He had no conscience. He went into the game, and he was literally playing Madden. With human beings. It was just chess pieces... He always thought the next play was the one. He's dialing it up.

Sam Darnold was likely just being honest about 'seeing ghosts' and it got blown out of proportion

I've said it. Especially when you're young. You're processing. You're figuring things out. And I've probably said that before, too. I'm like, I'm seeing a thousand things out here. And none of them are probably legit. So, I think it's just being honest. And it just got blown out of proportion.

Vanderbilt is better than every Big Ten team during certain years

[Big Cat: Do you think Vandy's better than every Big Ten team because they're in the SEC?] At this point, no. There's been years, yes. It's a different brand of football.

I'm a better swimmer than Jay Cutler and would out-swim him in any stroke

I'm a better swimmer than you. ... You're not going to out-swim me. Yes, I will. I will out-swim you. No. Easily. And if I have to, I'll die in the pool. ... We'll do every stroke. ... I got this. I'm not worried about that.

Mitch Trubisky should stop reading everything and go underground

Don't read anything. Stop reading is your advice. Go underground here, bud. I think you watch some of his press conferences and stuff, and you could tell it [media criticism] really bothered him sometimes. The more he can get away from all that stuff, I think the better for him.

The United States would win Olympic Gold in handball if they fielded a team of pro athletes

I do want to get a team together for the Olympics. I think it's handball... I guarantee we can put a team together that can win gold. Guaranteed. Just from pure, arm speed. I don't think guys in other countries [could compete].

The NFL is the ultimate reality show

What about the 28-3 comeback? The NFL is the ultimate reality show. Fact.

Kent Sterling's take on Cubs fans being 'sluggish' for getting hit by foul balls is trash

Chicago Cubs will protect fans too stupid or sluggish to avoid foul balls by extending nets... This guy sucks. This guy is trash... He basically saying he wrote this entire article to brag that parents are capable of protecting kids because he did it once.

Kobe Bryant was the bridge that took the baton from Michael Jordan and passed it to LeBron James

Kobe Bryant was the type of guy who [was] bigger than his sport, who was the guy who took the baton from Michael Jordan and passed it to LeBron James, who was basically the guy in the NBA for a decade plus.

Kobe Bryant's death is the most shocking athlete death since Dale Earnhardt

I can't think of another case where an athlete of like this stature has passed away suddenly, like maybe the closest thing I can even think of is Dale Earnhardt.

The NBA should have canceled all games on the day Kobe Bryant died

I think [the NBA] should have canceled the games today because of what he meant everybody in the league. It seemed like Kobe had some sort of influence on every single team... it felt like one of those things where the the whole league was like sleepwalking.

The NFL should implement the XFL's 4th-and-15 onside kick alternative rule

They tried out the Mike Florio rule where you get a one passing down fourth and 15 and you try to make a first down instead of an onside kick... it's a great rule by the way. They should absolutely implement it.

I'm only joining an XFL team if I have a real chance to make the roster

The practice squad offer is apparently legit. Like I'm going to get a contract if I want to go down that road... in which case I'm only going down that road if they give me an opportunity to work my way onto a team. I'm not just going to be on practice squad a year.

Bryson DeChambeau worries too much about angles and should just play golf

He does like the compass and the he does like all the math behind his shots. Just go out and shoot the ball, dude, maybe if you stop thinking about it, you'd be like Brooks [Koepka] and wind shit... You worry too much about angles buddy.

Antarctica is always freezing, and it is weird to suggest they have a 'summer' where it isn't cold

I was always taught that Antarctica was just always freezing. No one lives there. It's a continent that no one lives on because it's all ice... I assume that it was always cold... there's no houses there, people don't go vacationing there.

I throw up before every single football game

As soon as we come back in from warm-ups. I go puke... hundred percent for every game... I always think I'm like, I'm a step faster now. That's my positive mindset.

I actually prefer blocking to catching the ball

I like blocking a lot like my favorite thing... when it's play call is like, all right, you're just going to go just throw some people out of the club. You're like fuck. Yes. Let's go.

Jimmy Garoppolo's chin line will lead the 49ers to a Super Bowl win

Jimmy [Garoppolo] I think is one of the strongest chin lines in the NFL and with that, you know that chin line it's going to, you know, definitely let us know Super Bowl this year.

If you don't embrace the physicality of football, you are playing the game wrong

If you don't embrace the physicality of football, you're playing the game wrong. I always say that as a kicker... I say that all the time.

I expect excellent work in my office; if the work is average, you don't belong here

I expect excellent work. We all do. So I don't care if you're in the office at 6:00 a.m. and you leave at midnight, if the work that you do is average, then this is not the home for you. Conversely, you cannot be in an office at all and have excellent work, this is the place for you.

If my accomplishments in the next 20 years don't exceed my NBA career, then I failed

I told somebody said listen if what I do in the next 20 years is not better than my last 20 then I failed... I wouldn't accomplish what I accomplished my last 20 years if I did not have this mentality to begin with.

Claiming a bad system or bad teammates ruined your career is just an excuse

That sounds like excuses to me. I mean, you got to figure it out, right? If you really have an obsession to figure it out. You will figure it out, right and every puzzles constructed differently... You just got to figure out Your own puzzles.

Shaq admitted he used to coast through the summer because he knew I was training

When we sat down we did the interview together. He finally He copped to the fact that after we won championships, she's like I can just relax and Coastal with the summer because I know I got a teammate who's going to be training 8 10 hours a day and I was like see that's the BSS yet that would piss and shit.

The 2002 Western Conference Finals were rigged

[The 2002 Western Conference Finals] was rigged. Mr. Official's name Tim Donaghy. We definitely have money on it. Yeah, so that's a fact. Yes. Yes. So from that standpoint, yes, but from the Kings missing 20-something free throws in Game 7... we all know what else to tell you.

Enron is due for a massive comeback

A little investment tip, Enron. It's bound to bounce back. It has to. It is due.

Zion Williamson is a bonafide bust

Zion is a bust. Parentheses: I went to sleep at halftime.

Zion Williamson is always one bad weekend away from being fat

He is not fat, but he's always a bad weekend away from being fat. A bachelor party, going on a trip. Maybe a trip to New Orleans... you come into work on Monday and everyone looks at you like you got stung by a bunch of bees.

Coach K is a bad X's and O's guy for not letting Zion shoot threes at Duke

Huge indictment on Coach K as an X's and O's guy. [Zion] hit four [threes] in a row... That's another feather in the cap of old Roy Williams. He would never screw up his prospects like that.

Aaron Rodgers is not a great quarterback

Eli, Romo, Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Jay Cutler. These are all people that are not great quarterbacks, but were very good for a long time.

Eli Manning's Hall of Fame case relies entirely on beating the Patriots

Does Eli have a— is his legacy seen differently, and is he a surefire Hall of Famer if he beats teams not named the Patriots in the Super Bowl? No. Because that is really when you boil down what Eli is... he had two moments where he beat the best coach and the best quarterback in the NFL history.

Peyton Manning's Super Bowl win with the Broncos doesn't really count

Peyton won two... The Broncos [win] didn't really count. That's an asterisk per Hank.

Eli Manning will be the world's greatest suburban stay-at-home dad

Eli's going to be the world's greatest suburban dad. Can't you see it? Can't you see him being a great assistant coach for his kid's soccer team? He's going to chaperone a lot of field trips... I feel like Eli is going to be a great stay-at-home dad and every day all the kids come over and he spends the entire afternoon throwing them in the pool.

I am a better kicker than the kickers at Alabama

Alabama could do a lot worse. Dude, I'm a better kicker than Alabama. Saban would have another chip if he had you as a kicker. That's a fact.

The Pro Bowl needs to move back to Hawaii to feel special again

They need to move the Pro Bowl back to Hawaii. It is not nearly as special. I need to see them with leis and all that.

The greatest feeling in the world is hunting and catching a human being

Hemingway said that the greatest thing in the world is to hunt another human being and catch him. So that's the greatest feeling you could ever have.

Truth serum would fix the American justice system

Hit him with truth serum for $69.50. You find out everything. So I think that is real justice. And we don't do it enough. Because the lawyers got to make money, the courts have to make money... let's get down to the real nitty gritty. Hit him with that and find out what's really going on.

Jeffrey Epstein is still alive

We need to find Jeffrey Epstein. Because he's still alive. That motherfucker's still alive. Let's do that. Dog the Bounty Hunter Season Two: On the Trail of Jeffrey... there's no way this guy's dead. This guy is overseas somewhere.

Rapists almost never commit suicide

All rapists do not commit suicide. A person that does, shot someone else... Rapists are sissies. They like that feeling when a girl [says] 'please, please, please don't.' I've arrested a lot. And they will not most of the time kill themselves.

We are 'all fucked' because of the coronavirus

The coronavirus is active. It is live. It's over in China right now. They've shut down cities. They've quarantined entire cities... And I've seen the movie Outbreak recently. So I just think we're all fucked.

'The Circle' on Netflix is the worst show ever created

I started watching the show The Circle on Netflix, and it's the worst show that's ever been created, and I started watching it, and I can't stop. It is horrendous. ... You say to yourself, I'm getting significantly dumber as I watch this show. And then you keep on watching.

The Baseball Hall of Fame is erroneous without Barry Bonds

The fact that Barry Bonds isn't in the Hall of Fame makes the Hall of Fame completely erroneous to me. Or Roger Clemens. Barry Bonds is the best baseball player of all time. He should be in the Hall of Fame.

Derek Jeter was only the second-best shortstop on the Yankees

Second best shortstop on that Yankees team. Behind A-Rod.

Buy TikTok stock when it goes public

Mike Francesa told me... TikTok. Invest in TikTok. So invest in TikTok, invest in all the apps, invest in all the social media... when TikTok goes public, buy it, buy it again and get back in line three times to buy it some more.

Kyle Shanahan's offense is built so he can't forget to run the football

I think, luckily, the way this offense [the 49ers] is built, [Kyle Shanahan] has made it impossible for him to forget to run the football. He's taken that out of his own hands.

Andy Reid is a Hall of Famer even if he loses Super Bowl LIV

Is he a Hall of Famer if he loses? [Big Cat] Yes. [PFT Commenter] I think he is too.

Andy Reid is a better coach than Bill Cowher

If Bill Cowher's in the fucking Hall of Fame, Andy Reid should be in the Hall of Fame. Andy Reid's way better of a coach than Bill Cowher. I'm sorry, but that's a fact.

George Kittle is the best tight end in the NFL

Best current tight end in the league. Travis Kelce or George Kittle. It's Kittle. Greg [George] Kittle. It's definitely Greg [George] Kittle.

It would be offensive if Joe Montana roots for anyone but the 49ers in the Super Bowl

If you're a 49ers fan and Joe Montana doesn't say I'm rooting for the 49ers, that would piss me off... If Joe Montana shows up to the Super Bowl wearing anything but a 49ers shirt, that would piss me off.

Fullbacks are officially back in the NFL

So it's going to be Sherman, Juszek, our fullbacks officially back. As first reported by Pardon My Take last year, they are officially back.