Takes

Edwin Diaz's injury is the most Mets thing to ever happen

This is the most Mets thing to ever happen... Edwin Diaz is gonna go play in the World Baseball Classic. Oh shit. He's probably gonna tear his patella tendon celebrating after a win. Right. When he is just jumping up in the air and then he's not gonna be able to pitch for the next 12 months.

Robot umpires will have unintended consequences like calling strikes on balls in the dirt

I don't want robot umps. No. Because I think there's gonna be a lot of unintended consequences with that... there are a lot of breaking balls that'll be in the dirt that'll clip the bottom of the strike zone technically. They'd have to figure out a better way to do it. I don't want robots.

The New York Yankees were given juiced baseballs for Aaron Judge's home run chase

A report came out saying that the Yankees were beneficiaries of having juice balls all last year. The Yankees were getting juice balls. Asterisks on his home run record, on his AL home run record. I mean, Jake, how can you discount that? They were purposely giving the best balls in baseball to the New York Yankees last year.

Lance McCullers Jr. was tipping his pitches against the Phillies

Lance McCullers was tipping all of his pitches tonight. And you saw it from the start. Like Bryce [Harper], when he went yard, he told everybody in the Phillies dugout, he's like, This guy's tipping his pitches. A bunch of stuff went viral online where you could see like the high leg kick. You could see the back leg being straight and the Phillies hit all their home runs off sinkers curves, changeups things like that.

The Phillies are the wildcard team getting hot at the right time

It's like the wildcard team that's getting hot right at the right time. Everyone seems loose. They're having fun. [Kyle] Schwarber is a fucking beast.

Aaron Judge will break the AL home run record in the final two weeks of the season

Aaron Judge, two more home runs today. He's at 59, two shy of Roger Maris. These final two weeks got to be locked in. Even if you're not a Yankee fan, it's history. 61 home runs the Yankee record and the non-steroid record.

Shohei Ohtani is on one of the most irrelevant franchises in professional sports

Show Otani has been incredible... And he just completely lost by being on like one of the more irrelevant franchises in all professionals. Like Anahi, there's no reason that nobody cares about Anaheim, right? Like they are a big market. Kind of, they stink.

The Washington Nationals were never going to re-sign Juan Soto

The Nationals were never going to re-sign him. So you've got a lot... the Padres aren't going to re-sign him. The Yankees are, the Dodgers are the only two teams that are going to afford Juan Soto.

The Yankees will lose in the playoffs because they traded Jordan Montgomery

Yankees going for it, except for the Jordan Montgomery trade. That makes no sense. The Yankees are going to now lose in the playoffs because they don't have starting pitching and they traded Jordan Montgomery.

Juan Soto will be traded to either the Cardinals or the Padres

I heard Jake Peavy give a take on the network about him potentially ending up in San Diego. And I could also see St. Louis... I would love to see Soto in San Diego for the simple reason that the Dodgers have just dominated the NL West forever. And if the Padres are serious about taking that next step, what better way to make that statement than to bring in a guy like Juan Soto?

There should be extra enthusiasm for Aaron Judge hitting 62 home runs because it is the post-steroid era

Aaron judge has been mashing race to 62. I want everyone to get involved in that because it does look, I'm a, I'm a pro steroids guy. So I, I definitely think Barry Bond's the best player of all time. And I also think his records stand, but there should be like an extra enthusiasm. If someone can hit 62, just knowing that we're not in the steroid era anymore.

Aaron Judge will hit 62 home runs this season

We need Aaron judge to hit 62 home runs. Yep. That's what will keep our attention going. He's got 33 at the Allstar break. So come on.

Pirates shortstop O'Neil Cruz is the most electric player in baseball

This guy might be the most electric player I've ever seen in my life. 6'7" he's a shortstop. He ran 31.5 miles per hour. Hardest throw by an infielder in Major League Baseball this year, he threw a ball from shortstop to first 96.7 miles per hour. I am buying all my stock and O'Neil Cruz right now.

MLB has been secretly switching to more 'lively' baseballs during specific games

I think they've like secretly been like switching in some good balls. Cause certain games, like on certain times, I don't want to say anything specific, but Or a lot of hard hit balls and they're going out of the park... off your bat... sometimes like there's balls that we hit and we're like, oh, that's gone. And then next thing you know, it's caught.

Reds fans should defecate in the Toyota Tundra at the stadium to protest the owner

A Reds fan posted yesterday saying... 'I will be scaling the wall to defecate in the bed of the Toyota Tundra.' I just liked that Reds fans are fighting back. This is how you fight... maybe it will make people go shit in their trucks.

I am officially retiring from professional baseball

Well, I haven't signed the papers, man, but I'm done. It's time for me to step away from the game at some point. The uniform goes to somebody else. And it's just my time really... yeah man, I'm done.

Bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates in every single road game this season to make money

My algorithm is thus, you just bet against the Pittsburgh Pirates every single game... we're going to bet on road games, every pirates team under and for the other team to win Moneyline against the pirates. And we're going to all make a bunch of money.

Ken Griffey Jr. is still the sixth highest paid player on the Reds

The reds are on my cool throne, because they're, if you look at their salary this year, they have a hall of Famer as their six highest played player... Ken Griffey Jr. So yeah, the reds are, anytime you get a guy who's been in the hall of fame and retired for like 15 years as your sixth highest paid player, he's getting paid like $4 million till 2024.

Tommy Tanks is the main attraction of college baseball

Tommy Tanks he's on NC state. I believe it's seven home runs in his first nine... he's kind of the main story, the main attraction of college baseball this year with no [MLB] baseball going on, it's getting even more heightened coverage.

The MLB season will inevitably be delayed due to lack of progress in labor meetings

The MLB and the Major League Baseball Players Association made little progress in their latest meeting, and a delay to the upcoming season feels inevitable.

Rob Manfred understands the MLB lockout is bad for business

Rob Manfred said, we understand it's bad for the business. So I'm going to probably take Rob Manfred's side because he said it right there in the article... that he understands this is bad for business.

The Atlanta Braves will win the World Series on Tuesday night

Congratulations to the Atlanta Braves for winning the world series on Tuesday night. Your job is first reported by Pardon My Take.

The Astros and their fans will use a World Series win to claim they never needed to cheat

At stake is the Astros and their fan base being able to basically tell everyone that it wasn't cheating that got them the World Series. They're just a really good team... If they win this one, they can say, well, we were the best team on the first one as well.

The Braves will win the World Series in six games

Braves in six.

Garrett Cole will be chased from the Wild Card game after only two innings

Garrett Cole getting chased after two innings would be great. Schwarber going yard off Cole, hitting the ball 500 feet.

Trading Anthony Rizzo and Chris Bryant is the correct business move but emotionally crushing for Cubs fans

There's the business side of baseball, which I fully understand. And then there's the sentimental, your heart, the guys you root for the guys you love. I understand the baseball side of it because they need to trade guys when they don't know if they're going to be here at the end of the year, and you've got to rebuild, but goddamn does it suck.

Miami Marlins are the most edible team name in professional sports

I was actually I went through all the teams and I was like, what is just the most edible thing? And I think it's the Miami Marlins. I would take the Marlins. I would eat them Marlyn. And I think that's something people actually eat. I believe so. I, they look delicious.

Shohei Ohtani needs to get out of the first round for the fans

Shohei Ohtani though, like, come on, we all turned in for you. And that was, he was ripping doubles and that's about it. Like I know he went to the extra time, but like, come on, man. You have to get out of the first round for the people.

Banning the shift would be awesome for baseball

He's considering banning the shift in the next year, which I think that'd be awesome to do.

The 2004 Red Sox were so confident they would beat anyone after the Yankees series

This club got so confident out of beating the Yankees four straight. And at that time that American League East made you better than anybody else, because they were the best division in baseball by a decent step... Unless we were going to play the Yankees again in seven or another AL East team, that team was going to dominate whoever they played in. And it did.

Shohei Ohtani is the next Babe Ruth and exactly what baseball needs

Shohei Ohtani... he's doing it all. So he's in the Home Run Derby... then he's going to pitch in the All-Star game. And he's going DH in the All-Star game. And this guy, like this is what baseball needs. ... I'm pumped for Shohei Ohtani to be the next Babe Ruth.

Facing Jacob deGrom is like going into a test knowing you're going to fail

Yeah, it was a major suck. He shoved it last night. It's like going into a test knowing you're going to fail, like, there's nothing you can do. He's just going to overpower you, and you're going to walk back to the dugout saying, I don't know what I'm doing out here. ... The first pitch I barely even saw.

I would compete in the Home Run Derby if asked

If you were asked to do the home run derby, will you do it? Oh, heck yeah. Okay, so there we go. Perfect. Patrick Wisdom says that he would do the home run derby.

MLB is incompetent for banning sticky substances in the middle of the season

The spider attack controversy that they knew about forever and decided, hey, we're going to now start punishing people. They went zero tolerance policy... Tyler Glasnow... is basically saying he got injured because of it... Good job, MLB. You really fucking did it again, you idiots.

Throwing no-hitters is 'choogy' and uncool now

I actually think that throwing no-hitters have gotten, it's like choogy now. Yeah. It's like kind of overdone. It's lame. seriously, like no hitters are lame now. no, these are not cool and guys strike out too much.

Shohei Ohtani is a rare talent we must appreciate

Shohei Ohtani is one of those rare talents where I think you just got to sit back and be like, holy fuck, I can't believe this guy's doing this. ... Shohei is getting caught up [to Ronald Acuna].

There are more complete-game one-hitters than no-hitters in MLB history

I'll bet that there's more. [Complete game one-hitters]. I'm not a math guy, but I'm rolling with math on this one.

The Dodgers are significantly overvalued by bettors and oddsmakers

Dodgers have been favored in 96 straight games dating back to 2019 season finale versus the Nationals. They've been favored in 134 of the last 136 games. That's stupid. That actually is not respect the Dodgers. It means that people respect the Dodgers too much. Way too much. That tells me that they're overvalued.

Betting against the Pittsburgh Pirates every single day is a winning formula

I'm just going to bet against the Pirates every single day. Yeah, they're bad. Every day, bet against the Pirates... I'm just going to bet literally every single game against the Pirates and hope for the best this year.

Shohei Ohtani is the modern-day Babe Ruth

Shohei Ohtani is fucking electric. He throws one-on-one in the first inning, and then he hits a fucking ball... bomb in the bottom of the first... he's like the modern day Babe Ruth.

More than 80% of Major League pitchers doctor the baseball in some way

What percentage of non-athletics pitchers in general do you think are doctoring the ball in some way, shape, or form? I would say probably somewhere in the north of 80%... In terms of guys that just like that would use pine tar or something of that nature.

Returning fans will make the 2021 season a miserable 'Integrity Tour' for the Astros

The Astros tour that happened last year... It's going to be different this year, man. It's going to be different this year because I don't care that it's 5,000, 10,000 fans, whatever. They're going to hear it, and they didn't hear it last year... We need to do a better job... of reminding people that the Astros did not get their tour last year.

Tommy Pham is only alive because he has too much muscle to be killed by a knife

Doctors told Tommy Pham after he was stabbed that if he wasn't so muscular, he would maybe be dead or paralyzed, which is the greatest flex of all time. Being like, if I was a weak fucking scrawny bitch boy, I'd be dead. But instead, I'm an alpha male with a shitload of muscles so I can handle a stabbing.

Tony La Russa will bring necessary clubhouse leadership to the White Sox

I think Tony is a guy, if those guys listen to Tony La Russa and go after the way Tony go or prepare you to win, I think this ball club is going to have a lot of success.

Kevin Cash let his computer ruin the World Series by pulling Blake Snell in Game 6

The game was a Kevin Cash versus computer and he let his computer fuck him in the face and the Rays died by sabermetrics and congrats to the Dodgers... Blake Snell was 73 pitches, zero runs into the game and he pulled him after a single... The computer says we've got to go to the bullpen. I'm gonna freak out I'm a nerd I've never realized that the game is played with emotion and humans and not on a spreadsheet.

The Washington Nationals are still the current regular full-season World Series champions

I'd also like to say that the Washington Nationals are still current regular full season World Series champions that is for the record that I've gone to game seven. What the fuck? What happened?

The Houston Astros have to expect to be hit by pitches for a while

But if there were someone to get beaned in the head to be the Astros... the Astros also have to kind of expect if bad things are going to probably happen to him for a little bit of time.

I thought the Mets would be the first team to have a massive COVID outbreak

I would have bet my ball sack it was going to be the Mets that would have all their players infected in every other team be fine. So that's actually saying what about my ball sack? Yeah... I'm shocked that it's the Marlins.

The 60-game MLB season 'on pace' stats are going to be electric

The on pace oh I for the 60 Game season is going to be electric. It sucks though, because not as many people are doing the on pace tweets... like Bryce Harper's on pace for 350 RBIs.

MLB players will fight more this year because they can hear trash talk in empty stadiums

I think there might be more tempers flaring because you can hear every slight every you remark that is said in an empty Stadium. I really want the broadcast to turn off the pumpkin crowd noise when there's a manager argument with the Umpire.