Takes

LeBron James is just a Brian Windhorst merchant

I would make the argument that LeBron is just a [Brian Windhorst] merchant that [Windhorst] made LeBron not the other way around.

I was a better basketball player than Ray Allen

Ray Allen... I'm not saying Ray wasn't great but... I'm a basketball player. I wasn't one dimensional. I just didn't shoot, I just didn't play defense. I did everything. So I look at myself as different than a lot of these guys that were one dimensional... I just felt like I was a better player.

The Celtics might be cursed due to the rare Kristaps Porziņģis injury

I spent the full Uber up there when I thought I had my backpack. I'm thinking I'm just getting on the flight. I'm like, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed, we're cursed. Like is there a chance we're cursed? This is bad.

Coach K is using his role as a Lakers consultant to force Dan Hurley out of college basketball

Coach K did all of this... Coach K sees Dan Hurley win his second national title back to back. He looks around, he says, look, there's a lot of, a lot of guys in, in college basketball that will never reach where I'm at. They won't be the old school. Tough style Like Dan Hurley. He's a throwback. He's a relic. I gotta figure out a way to make sure that Dan Hurley doesn't surpass me as the goat... He's getting Dan Hurley to go to the Lakers. So Dan Hurley can't take everything from John Scheyer and Duke and Coach K and all his legacy and stuff.

Jalen Brunson is a better player than Jayson Tatum and would never lose an NBA Finals

Jalen Brunson. Say what you want about he would never lose in the finals. Yep. Yep. Yes. He will not lose in the [finals].

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in 7 games

My gut kneejerk is Celtics and seven

The Celtics will beat the Mavericks in 6 games

I I'm thinking Celtics and six.

The Mavericks will win because Kyrie Irving and Luka Dončić are better closers than the Celtics' stars

I think that this is gonna be a very close series. It's going to come down to very tight games at the end. And one team has two guys that have proven to be excellent closers against very good teams in this playoffs. And the Celtics have looked a little Iffy.

Kyrie Irving has never lost a closeout game

Kyrie Irving has never lost a closeout game. That's interesting. Yeah. So just remember that if you're new to DraftKings, listen up.

I'm sprinkling a bet on the Timberwolves to be the first team to come back from down 3-0

I may put a little future on the Wolves to be the first team to come back and... Timberwolves plus a thousand. They just can't be any worse. And the thing is, they're not playing good, but they're still building leads into the fourth quarter.

It would be very funny if the Indiana Fever don't win a single game this year

It would be kind of funny if [the Fever] don't win a game. I mean, I'm rooting for that.

The Thunder should draft Zach Edey to pair with Chet Holmgren

I actually think you wanna hear this one. I think the thunder should draft Zach Edey. Twin Towers... you got the, the Nimbly three point shooting Skinny center and then you got a little bit more of a traditional center in Zach Edey.

LeBron James is going to return to the Cleveland Cavaliers

So LeBron is gonna go back to the Cavs... LeBron has a podcast with JJ Redick. LeBron wants to make the podcast even bigger. LeBron gets JJ Redick hired by the Lakers... I am gonna go to Cleveland and I'll get a different coach. So LeBron is actually trying to get two coaches hired right now.

The Nuggets are the scariest team left in the playoffs

The Nuggets are the scariest team in the West. You're right. Left in the playoffs period. Like the Nuggets just do not care. Like they're not worried about the pressure of game five or six or seven... thinking about the championship, if you were to do that, you'd rather play one of those younger, more inexperienced teams. But that's why I think the Nuggets, they were just gonna, they're gonna roll from here on out.

The Celtics will win Game 3 by exactly 33 points

Prediction for Saturday night: Win by 33. I guess a little, you know, you got an extra one. 101 [total series point differential].

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander should have won the 2023-24 NBA MVP over Nikola Jokic

I voted for SGA. I voted for Shai because Shai last year Oklahoma didn't even make the playoffs. This year they're the number one seed in the Western conference. He's first in the league in steals, shooting 54% from the field as a shooting guard... He has the best record in the tough Western Conference.

The Timberwolves will win the NBA championship and Anthony Edwards will be Finals MVP

I got the Celtics coming out of the East. I got the Minnesota Timberwolves coming out of the West and I got Anthony Edwards Finals MVP, Minnesota taking it all.

The Celtics will beat the Cavaliers by a cumulative triple-digit point differential in the series

[Hank] is on pace for his triple digits prediction bloodbath for point differential in this series. The Celtics won by 25... we're on pace. This should be a four-one if not 4-0.

The Celtics should intentionally lose two games to the Cavaliers to get battle-tested for the finals

I stand by my take. I still think they should intentionally lose some games to the Cavs... I think two. That way when they get to the Finals they're like, yeah, we've had our battles.

Tyrese Maxey is better than Jaylen Brown

I mean, Tyrese Maxey is better than Jaylen Brown for sure. Ooh, for sure. [Hank] would trade Jaylen Brown for Tyrese Maxey immediately.

James Harden will have a legacy bad game with under 10 points in the playoffs

This is gonna be a legacy game I'm calling it right now. This is a James Harden legacy game. And by that I mean I hope he scores less than 10 points.

Joel Embiid is having a better series than Jalen Brunson

Joel Embiid is scoring 35 points a game. 45% from the field and a plus 34 when he's on the court... Jalen Brunson is scoring 33 points a game 40% from the field and is a minus three when he's on the court. And the difference that people are talking about Jalen Brunson and Joel Embiid is absolutely insane.

The Sixers are a better basketball team than the Knicks, the Knicks just want it more

The Sixers are a better basketball team. It's just that [the Knicks] want it more. They are just dogs. They want, it's just that they want it more.

The 76ers will win their series against the Knicks despite being down 2-0

And then the final act, new tweet: Sixers will win this series.

The only real threat to the Denver Nuggets winning the title is the injury bug

The number one threat to the Denver Nuggets is the injury bug. Oh yeah. I think they're that good. Yeah, I really do. I think Jokic is just, they deserve that kind of dodgy, cute answer. If I have to answer... I just don't see anybody taking out Jokic in seven games, beating them four times in seven games.

The Clippers are going to win the Western Conference

The Los Angeles Clippers are going to win the West. Ooh. Not that they're gonna compete. That they're gonna compete. Hey, I, I said that mostly just to get Hank's hopes up because Hank is grasping at all the straws.

The Sixers will win their series against the Knicks

Sixers are gonna win the series. Oh plus I think it was plus two 50... I'm already really invested so I don't think that I have to do any bets.

The Bulls-Heat game will be a one-possession game with three minutes left

I honestly just, if my, if I had to give you my take on the game, it's gonna be a one possession game with three minutes left and then who the fuck knows?

The Lakers are going to beat the Nuggets in their playoff series

I think they could be the nuggets... Championship experience, you know... [They've] got the players of all time. Anthony Davis, all stars, all NBA players. Why not?

Team USA will win every Olympic basketball game by 50 points

USA announced its Olympic roster for 2024 in Paris. And it is stacked. Yeah. They're looking to win every game by 50.

I am putting a responsibly large wager on the Sixers -5 based on the turtle's pick

Mr. P's pick is a Sixers minus five responsibly. Large wager has been put on a Mr. P's first ever pick. Let's go 76ers.

The Orlando Magic will beat the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the NBA playoffs

I like the magic in the first round. Ooh little small upset there over the Cavs.

The Sixers will beat the Heat, the Knicks, and the Bucks in the 2024 NBA playoffs

I like the Sixers to beat the heat. I also like the Sixers to beat the Knicks Ooh. And then I like the Sixers to beat the Bucks. I do actually like that the Knicks like tried because I think that there you should, you should have some pride and be like, we're not ducking anyone.

The Denver Nuggets will beat the Boston Celtics in five games in the 2024 NBA Finals

What do we have for the finals is nuggets versus Celtics nuggets. Celtics nuggets over Celtics and five.

The Celtics will beat the Suns in five games in the 2024 NBA Finals

I'm gonna go Celtics over sons. In five. Dreaming then. Yo pitch Scottie. Scheffler. I'm just dreaming about not having to play the nuggets and just dominating the suns in five.

The 76ers will beat the Clippers in six games in the 2024 NBA Finals

Sixers over Clippers and six.

Caitlin Clark is a bust because she can't win the big one

Are we sure Caitlin Clark is actually good. Ooh Bust can't win the can't win the big one.

UConn will beat Iowa because Gino Auriemma has a better game plan for Caitlin Clark

I actually, I think UConn's gonna beat [Iowa] though, because I think Gino, like, if you watch the second game, Gino had a game plan for Juju Watkins that Kim Mulkey just didn't have for Caitlin.

The Boston Celtics will not win the NBA Title

[PFT: Are Hank's Celtics gonna win the NBA title?] No. I want it to be Denver Boston, because that's what I want in the NBA... But I don't see Boston beating Denver because [Jokic is] the best player.

LeBron James isn't that special because he merely lived up to the expectations we set

LeBron's actually not that special because we kind of called it... he just kind of lived up to his expectations. He was the chosen one. He didn't do anything that we didn't predict. We were right, man.

Anthony Edwards missing the tip-off is a sign the Timberwolves aren't ready to win a title

Anthony Edwards lost track of time and he missed the tipoff of the Timberwolves game... This is the kind of thing that you point to when it's like, yeah, the Timberwolves are good, but your star player lost track of time.

The Denver Nuggets will win the NBA Championship back-to-back

I don't think I can make a future bet on this because the price isn't great, but I just think the nugs are gonna win again. I think it's back to back. Nugs.

The NBA All-Star game should be changed to a 'White vs. Black' format

What about the Rashard Mendenhall rules? What if we make the All-Star game white versus black. So who's the white starting five? Luca [Dončić], Jokic, Caruso, Kristaps [Porzingis] and Grayson Allen. I'd put that five up against [everyone else].

To fix the All-Star game, the losing team should pay the winning team $10,000 per point scored

Losing team has to pay winning team $10,000 per point. Because now you play defense. You play defense. And it doesn't matter if you're losing, you still try. Damian Lillard would've gotten $500,000 [from them].

A G-League player who wins the NBA Dunk Contest should receive a two-week NBA contract

If you win the Dunk contest and you're on a G League team, you should get like a two week contract.

James Harden will try to score 60 points in his next game to answer Joel Embiid

I'm gonna bet on James Harden in his next game to go out there and try to score like 55, 60 points. Yeah. I feel like he's got something to prove. He's got an answer for it.

Draymond Green has learned his lesson and won't punch anyone again

I predict that Draymond has learned his lesson. He won't do this again. I think that Draymond had a brief mental error, a brief moment where he blacked out a little bit, a heated gaming moment and he, he will not be making that mistake again. Draymond's a new man.

Tyrese Maxey is currently the best player in the NBA Eastern Conference

Tyrese Maxey is the best player in the Eastern Conference. Fact or fiction? ... hang the banner of the week. Hang, there's only been one week. If the MVP was given out today, he would win it.

Giannis Antetokounmpo will eventually play for the Knicks

I still think Giannis is gonna end up on the Knicks... I asked him, because Giannis after the benefit was like, 'You a Bucks fan?' I was like, 'Fuck the Bucks, I'm a Knicks fan.' ...He goes, 'Well you never know where I end up next free agency.' and his brother kind of was like nodding. They wanna be in New York.

James Harden will do something so egregious that he ends up in jail by the end of the week

I think that James Harden will end up in jail by the end of this week. I think he's gonna do something. He's gonna do something so ridiculous that someone in the front office is gonna call the cops on him. Like I think he may just like show up on the court naked.