Takes

NBA players are garbage for dunking on kids at summer camps for social media

Why do these players keep shitting all over these little guys that play $2,500 to go up to their camp and they dunk on them, they humiliate them, and then they post it all over Snapchat? All of them. It's out of control.

NBA players should have the right to choose their super teams

I do believe that grownups should have the right to decide where they work. Kevin Durant was in Oklahoma City for almost 10 years. And if he wants to go play somewhere else, it doesn't really feel good for me as some random person sitting at home and saying, you know where I think you should live your life and work every day. I'm not a big fan of like the franchise tag.

Bay Area sports fans are spoiled

I think people out, the sports fans out in the Bay Area are spoiled. They obviously have the Warriors. They have the Giants who seem to win every other year. We've been pretty competitive for a while.

Bill Russell is better than LeBron James

Hank you actually had speaking of hot takes hank didn't you say bill russell was better than lebron? yeah that's right... I'm not ruling [Russell beating LeBron one-on-one] out by any means.

UConn women's basketball could beat a WNBA team

Could UConn women's basketball beat a WNBA team? Probably. I'm actually serious. I think they could.

The best life to live would be as a mediocre NBA sixth man

If I had to do it all over again, I would come back as like a sixth man in the NBA. I'd work on that J. I'd get my J. We should have been these guys getting $70 million for being basically mediocre.

NBA Draft night is the most boring night of the sports year

Can I be honest with you? I think that the NBA draft night is the most boring night of the sports year. I think the ESPY night is more electric than the NBA draft night.

The NBA should draft fat guys and let them work themselves into shape

Why aren't they drafting really fat guys and saying, well, he'll lose the weight, he'll lose the weight, like he'll get in shape? That seems unfair... fat guys, they don't get the benefit of the doubt. Oh, they'll work themselves in shape. No, you never hear that.

LeBron James is the greatest of all time

LeBron James, greatest of all time. 23.

European NBA players are soft

I don't know what it is about European players, but my instinct is when everyone's taken, I'm like, wow, what a dumb pick. It doesn't matter. They're soft. No, it's just Europe in general. They're soft. It's just not to make it a generality about an entire country. All the tough guys in Europe play soccer. Europe is a terrible country.

LeBron James would have entertained leaving Cleveland if they had lost the 2016 Finals

I think if he didn't win the title... You know, you can put a lot of different scenarios together. I think he probably would have thought about leaving. I think obviously now winning, he can't go nowhere. But I did believe if they did lose, he would have entertained. But I thought he would try to go west.

I could still shoot 40% from three-point range today despite not playing for 18 months

I haven't touched the ball in 18 months. So, maybe 40. I'm not even giving myself 50%. Maybe 40%. I mean, I ain't touched the ball in 18 months. You know, I mean, it's going to take me a while to get back in routine.

The Under Armour curse is real and currently at its peak

Anytime a good team loses, you got to ask what the curse is. I think it's definitely the Under Armour curse. It lives on. Spieth struck out big time at the U.S. Open. Cam Newton, Steph Curry. Bryce Harper still hasn't won a title. I think we're living in the golden age of the Under Armour curse.

Kyrie Irving should have won Finals MVP over LeBron James

Kyrie Irving should have won MVP. He was the best player on the court. He basically won it for LeBron, not to get nitpicky here.

I officially hate Steph Curry for being a sore loser

By the end of this finals, I truly do hate him. I can't stand him anymore. He complains about every call. He got a little too cute out there sometimes with the behind-the-back pass. The whole meltdown when he threw the mouth guard... You can't be America's sweetheart when it's all going well and then have these public meltdowns when things turn on you. It's a sore loser thing. So I think I officially hate Steph Curry.

The NBA isn't rigged, but the league got the 7-game series they wanted

Is the NBA rigged? No. But? Did I insinuate a but? That was not my intention. No, I think in this series, they got what they wanted. Absolutely. You know, they got, they got the seven games, but I don't, I'm not buying into that conspiracy theory.

LeBron James is the best athlete in the world

Well, we've actually argued about this in terms of LeBron's athleticism. I don't think there's a better athlete in shape dominating their sport like LeBron... we thought LeBron would be the best at that [playing other sports].

The last two minutes of a basketball game are the worst part of sports

The worst. The last two minutes of the game.

Kyrie Irving's Game 5 performance was more impressive than Steph Curry's typical hot streaks

This is a hot take that I actually think is correct. What Kyrie did game five was more impressive than like when Steph Curry goes off. Because when Steph Curry goes off, he hits a lot of threes... Kyrie was hitting everything. He was hitting floaters. He was hitting jumpers. He was going to the rim.

Draymond Green was secretly rooting against the Warriors in Game 5 so he wouldn't miss the clinching moment

I think Draymond was probably rooting against the Warriors I don't think that's that crazy... Draymond is the kind of guy that he's a little bit more out there emotionally. He's the kind of guy that might feel slighted if he's not part of that winning moment.

The NBA suspended Draymond Green specifically to extend the Finals for ratings

Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy says that the NBA suspended Draymond Green to try to extend the series to get higher ratings and more money. You think? No, duh.

The 1996 Bulls would beat the modern Warriors

I'd be shocked if the Warriors won it. I just look at the defensive matchups... Dennis Rodman is going to just, I think, negate Draymond Green. And then you bring in – when you have Scottie Pippen, who would look forward to covering these guys.

Steph Curry's low-top shoes are sleek and the safest shoes to wear to avoid getting robbed

I like Steph Curry's shoes. I'm here to say that they're sleek... there's no chance that a teenager will ever hit me with 'what are those' if I'm wearing the Steph Curry Lowe's... You also probably won't get knocked out and have your shoes stolen from you, which is also a plus... wear the Steph Currys, be the safest guy in the world.

LeBron James buying headphones for his teammates is a 'bad boss move'

LeBron bought everyone headphones before game two? Another really bad boss move. Basically buying everyone a gift so that when he trashes them and calls them assholes and tells the media that he can't do it all on himself, he's then going to come behind the press conference and be like, hey guys, but you remember those headphones I got you?

I hate the NBA because of the Prima Donnas and flopping

I just hate the NBA. ... Just, you know, it's just, I don't know. I feel like it's all one-on-one. It's just the timeouts, the fools that play. A lot of ball hogs. ... Prima Donnas. Flops everywhere. It's just slow.

I support capping three-pointers if it hurts Steph Curry and the Warriors

I hate the rule, and I hate these changing of rules, but if it means we can take away the one thing that Steph excels at over everyone else, I'm kind of in favor of that.

The Oklahoma City Thunder would have beaten the Cavaliers in the Finals if they had advanced

Oklahoma City is the big loser in all of this because I think they would have won the title if they had faced the Cavs.

DeAndre Jordan makes at least 60% of his free throws in practice

Honestly, he goes over and shoots on the side after we're done and everybody else is shooting. He probably shoots at least 60% in practice, maybe more.

Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the big losers of the Warriors' Game 1 win

Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook are the big losers of tonight. When it really comes down to it, when you basically had this Warriors team beat and now you're watching this game and you see that the Cavs don't have answers for the Warriors... they're chokers and big time losers again.

Riley Curry has to go

One thing I will say, I do agree with Big Cat, that Riley Curry, she's got to go. I'm done with Riley Curry.

LeBron James will never surpass Michael Jordan because he has lost in the Finals

I think his – the fact that he lost titles, he's already not going to surpass Jordan, because he never lost. He never lost a title.

If Draymond Green was a white guy named Raymond Green, he would be more loved

What if Draymond Green was Raymond Green and he was a white guy? He might be more hated, but he also might get away with—he might also be more loved by a large collection of the audience there... if you're a white guy, you can get away with being dirty a little bit better because you just naturally look uncoordinated when you fall down... so people believe you when you're just like flopping down. So if Draymond were white, I actually think he would be more loved overall.

A 73-win season means nothing without a championship

Don't mean a thing without that ring. That's all I'm going to say... That is the 72-10 1996 Bulls. That was their little mantra. And the Warriors... The 73-win Warriors look like they're in a lot of trouble.

Russell Westbrook is currently the best player in the world

[Russell Westbrook] had 33, 36, 11, and 11. Unreal. He basically said, I'm the best player in the world and I'm going to take over this game. I'm going to take over the series.

I despise Cleveland Cavaliers fans

I love Browns fans. I fucking despise Cavs fans. They're the worst. I know they're the exact same people, but they're not.

The NBA Draft Lottery was rigged for Philadelphia

I actually am going to side with Philly on this one and say that it was rigged for Philly.

The 'Rock N Jock' era celebrities would beat current ESPN Celebrity All-Stars

The old rock and jock days of the 90s, the MTV rock and jock days, we would definitely, if you took the best players from then, we would definitely be able to compete with the ESPN celebrity all-star game guys for sure. No doubt. There's not a lot of ball movement with the ESPN guys. It's a very self-centric game.

I only became a Kobe Bryant fan after he became an underdog during his legal scandal

I came back around to Kobe when he became the bad guy and he became the underdog... when the shit hit the fan with him, I wanted to see... [Post-sexual assault] I became a fan of Kobe. That's just like a weird thing with me.

Carl Malone's 'The Mailman' is one of the worst nicknames because it's redundant

I used to think it was mailman, like man, male, like guy, dude, the mailman, like finally a male for men... I just think it's a little bit redundant. That's all. Plus, like he delivers. Yeah, I get it. That's lame.

Raptors fans treating every sport like soccer is bizarre

Here's the thing about other countries besides the United States. They treat every sporting event like it's a soccer game. Like they get together in the big town square where you're not allowed to have open containers... there's a lot of scarf wearing going on out there. That's always been a very bizarre thing to me.

LeBron James is the most valuable player in the NBA, regardless of who wins MVP

I would say LeBron should be the MVP this year, though. He is the most valuable player in the NBA. That's a fact. Well, I guess we got to get into a debate over what valuable means.

I'm officially done with Riley Curry

I'm hashtag done with Riley Curry. i've i've had it that's riley time riley curry okay yeah it was it was cool last year um it was a nice little like diversion from the normal post game press conference now i feel like i feel like she's reading her press clippings a little bit too much and she thinks that she's really cute and she might be really cute but she she knows that she's really cute now and last year she didn't know it she was just being cute so um i'm done with riley curry don't want to see her again

Brian Windhorst is in LeBron James' doghouse for not voting him MVP

Windhorst didn't vote for LeBron. How dumb is Windhorst? That's his meal ticket... He was like, someone will vote for LeBron, and I can just tell LeBron it was me. And then no one voted for LeBron.

Steph Curry's unanimous MVP is bad for basketball because it ruins the debate

The news on this press conference is not that he won. It's that he managed to get 131 media people to agree to the same thing at the same time... When you can get the media people not to basically pull their pants down and go, I'm going to vote for the wrong guy just so people will notice me, you've done a remarkable thing... he's been horrible for basketball. He's broken the game, first of all. He helped ruin the regular season now. And now he's in the process of breaking the playoffs.

The NBA deserves bad officiating because they retired the great iconoclasts like Joey Crawford

Joey Crawford's retirement is one of the darkest moments in what has been a pretty lackluster season... Officiating in the NBA was better with two guys who knew what they were doing... now they get Scott Fosters. Now they get Tony Brothers. They deserve it. They deserve to have nothing but crappy officiating from now until the end of time.

Dwyane Wade dunking during the Canadian national anthem is the most American thing possible

He was actually dunking during it, which I think is the most American thing that you can do is just be dunking during another country's anthem. But like, isn't there a fine line between being like too courteous to another country and then committing treason? Because if you're really respecting the other anthem, that means that you don't love your own country.

Always be wary of an 'offensive genius' coach

The offensive mind, always be wary of the offensive mind. That's actually a good motto in life. Mark Trestman's another one. Always be wary of the offensive genius. I'd rather a defensive guy than an offensive guy any day of the week.

Chris Webber was definitely betting on the Thunder-Spurs game

Chris Webber, I'm pretty sure Chris Webber was betting on this game because I've never heard anyone so emotionally invested in a game... It was clear that Chris Webber had money on this game.

Carmelo Anthony is a bum

Carmelo? He's a bum. ... He's a bum on the Knicks. And he wears bum hats.

The NBA should fast forward to the conference finals

Let's just fast forward. They should eliminate half the teams in the NBA.