Takes

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team and they have to win me back

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team. They got, they have to win me back. I'm opening up that they could win me back. But right now, they have to prove it.

Lions defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired if the defense gets embarrassed by a backup offensive line

I was saying if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team against a team that has 2% of their offense.

The Packers getting Micah Parsons for only two first-round picks is an absolute fleece by Green Bay

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

Kirk Cousins is a significantly better quarterback than Justin Fields

Kirk Cousins is a better quarterback than Justin Fields, Memes. I'm just telling you like, that is a, your season might end up turning. That's where I'm trying to come from. Like that's a guy who you could maybe go a little bit further in the season.

An NFL Draft Lottery would be a 'stupid, bad idea' that hurts the truly struggling teams

Mike Greenberg's dumb rules... Greenie yesterday... saying lottery to implement a draft lottery for, for the NFL... I don't think it's a good idea... it would be terrible for the NFL... it would suck for the teams that are actually terrible that don't have a quarterback.

The Seahawks are a 'hammer' for a Super Bowl future bet next year

Seahawks Super Bowl future for next year... probably got 30 to one odds right now. I would hammer it.

The Eagles fleeced the Commanders in the Jahan Dotson trade

I like Jahan Dotson, a Penn State fan who's a beast at Penn State. Good wide receiver three. Give up a third, get back a fifth. Very happy. Fleeced. Fleeced.

The Commanders fleeced the Eagles in the Jahan Dotson trade

We're fleecing the Eagles. Big time. You bunch of bald eagles over there got fleeced so hard. [Dotson] was fighting for the second spot... he was I think losing that competition to Martavis Bryant.

Caleb Williams is the Ben Simmons of the NFL

I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's, there's a player that he reminds me of. Little bit of a diva off the court. Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. A can't miss prospect. ... Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons was the next LeBron. ... Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect. ... Both teams missed the [college] playoffs... Think about Ben Simmons.

The Bears are back now that they've extended Jaylon Johnson

Jaylon Johnson extended... Four-year deal. He was franchise tagged and they were saying they were gonna keep working on it. Fucking love it. It's a good move. Oh, bears are back.

The Bears are coming to get everyone in the NFL this year

My son, who's four ... keeps saying that the bears are coming to get him. I feel like that's a good thing for the bears season. ... The monsters of the midway are back.

Justin Fields predicting he will throw for 4,000 yards in 2023 will only lead to more Bears fan misery

Justin Fields said he's gonna throw over 4,000 yards this year. And then it just triggered the reaction online being like, 'Oh my God, the Bears have never had a 4,000 yard passer.' And also if he doesn't throw over 4,000 yards this year, then it's gonna be like, oh, they still don't. So that sucked.

Football is now primarily a TV sport, not an in-person sport

I think we've reached the point where we primarily think of football as a TV sport. Not an in-person sport. We lose track of the fact that people... well in our defense, 99% of the audience is TV. Probably higher.

Juju Smith-Schuster is a piece of shit and AJ Brown would beat him up

He's a piece of shit. Like, I don't know who he thinks he is... AJ Brown would beat the absolute fucking... AJ Brown would've. AJ Brown basically said, said that he would, he would beat the fuck out of him if he's keep talking about him.

Anthony Richardson will be the #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft

I'm all the way back in on Anthony Richardson... he also knows I love value... Anthony Richardson +10,000 or whatever, 100 to 1 to go number one... I'm reading all the articles, trying to just will him to somehow become the number one overall pick.

Turnovers increase the likelihood of succeeding on a 4th down or 2-pt conversion via 'vibe' multipliers

Basically the percentage of converting a two point conversion or on fourth down basically gets increased depending on what type of turnover happens before that possession... after an interception, a fourth down conversion or a two point conversion increases by let's say 110%.

Andrew Luck was a 'busted chaw' and is an overrated quarterback

Andrew Luck: busted chaw, bad for town. Okay? Fact. Game over and debate. I've had people fucking bitching and complaining... 'Andrew Luck was great?' Every time they make excuses for him, it disgusts me.

I was the first to report that Trevor Penning is a savage

There's this dude I've been watching since early college... Trevor Penning. I kind of feel like one of those guys, like I was following them when they're small. So now basically he just got kicked out of Saints camp for going too hard. He's an absolute animal... now everyone's on it... I was there when he was doing this. Just make sure the internet knows that Billy had it first.

The XFL should have a 'fake college' loophole to allow older players to qualify for tryouts

I'm going to find out I've got my agents and representatives reaching out to find out the details... or if maybe there's a fake college that I can enroll in in order to qualify for the XFL.

Bruce Arians is one of the few coaches doing the Rooney Rule the right way

I wanted to give credit to Bruce Arians for being a guy that I think we need more of, guys who will hire minorities and then proactively be like hey you have to interview this guy you have to give him a shot... I think that's really the only way is to just have more people that aren't just like in the old boys club.

Tom Brady 'leadershiped' me into being a believer and he is now my leader

Tom Brady leadershiped the hell out of me... I made a bad joke, and Tom Brady said that, SMH, I've seen better from you, PFT... and then I started to expect more out of myself because Tom Brady, the legend, sees more in me than I do in myself... And now Tom Brady is my leader.

Trevor Lawrence is just a 6'6" version of Tate Martell who has kept a 'mirage' going.

My take about Trevor Lawrence is that he is basically Tate Martell. But since he's taller... he's been able to keep the mirage up. Quarterbacks who get groomed like Trevor Lawrence in practice, they get as many reps as they want to get it right [but they aren't Tom Brady].

The Washington Football Team will win the NFC East and beat the Cardinals in the playoffs

I officially care, and I think that they're going to beat the Steelers on Monday... I think that the football team is going to win the division at 6-10, maybe even 7-9. I think that we're going to win a home playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Steelers have zero chance of winning the Super Bowl

It's the Steelers to win the Super Bowl 55 to 1 and I'm sitting here watching them go 11 and 0 and being like, well, it doesn't really matter... In the back of my head, I'm like, no chance. Zero percent chance.

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can and I'm actually believe all these things that I have just said.

Mitch Trubisky is going to win 10 games for the Bears this year

I fully believe that Mitch Trubisky is going to win the Bears 10 games. No, he is going to personally win 10 games. I can't wait for Mitch Trubisky screenshot season to come back. He's become a punch line, and you know what? He's about to punch back. Big time.

Bill Belichick won't care about Gronk leaving; he will just view it as getting a draft pick for nothing

There's not a single person better equipped to have like two of his star players leave him willingly than Bill Belichick... He'll probably get a great draft pick for and just keep moving on like not even think about... he would absolutely get something for nothing because Rob's not coming back to play.

If Patrick Mahomes plays in the Celebrity All-Star game in Chicago, he will win MVP

But if Patrick Mahomes plays in a Celebrity All-Star game in Chicago, he will win MVP and everyone will make a joke. ... he looked genuinely like he was having the best time in his life [at the parade].

Aaron Rodgers doesn't want to win a Super Bowl because he'd have to chug beer in front of people

That's actually the reason I think that Aaron Rodgers doesn't want to win a Super Bowl is because he'd have to chug beer in front of people. In front of large crowds. That's not his thing.

Tom Brady will sign with the Tennessee Titans in free agency

PFT's fire fest is he has to be the one to break news to you that Tom Brady's going to the Titans. Giselle was allegedly touring a school, an all-boys high school in Nashville, Tennessee. Connecting the dots.

I actually think I am going to make the DC Defenders XFL team as a kicker

They suggested, as a joke, that the DC team they don't have a kicker right now... I started practicing, and now I actually think that I'm going to make the team... I want to be a professional football player. I want to make this team. And I believe that.

If the Bears beat the Rams, they are going to the playoffs

I legitimately 100% have bought into the fact that if the Bears beat the Rams on Sunday night, they're going to the playoffs.

The Washington Redskins' medical staff misdiagnosed Trent Williams' cancer for six years

The Trent Williams trade news out of Ashburn Virginia... he said that he was misdiagnosed six years ago by the Redskins medical staff. Cancer has been growing on his head for the last six years. They told him it was fine. He said he almost died. He went to the hospital for several weeks over the summer. No one from the team came to visit him. They deserve every bad thing in the world.

The Washington Redskins are more likely to win a World Series than a Super Bowl in the next five years

I said earlier today that I think the Redskins are more likely to win a World Series than they are Super Bowl in the next five years. Yeah, I'd agree. I'd agree just just by like a random shit show of occurrences that somehow become a major league team.

Betting every single moneyline underdog is a winning strategy

I love 11 Moneyline underdogs. ... It worked out really well for me last week, and I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well. ... I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy.

The AAF was a Fire Fest run by people with no plan

It is hilarious to just imagine Bill Polian as being Billy McFarland. Like, drinking like rock stars, fucking like porn stars speech. I guarantee you Bill has said that at some point... Instead of cocaine and tequila on a private island, it was like tortilla chips and a nice beer, just hanging out watching tape.