Takes

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team and they have to win me back

I have lost all hope in this Eagles team. They got, they have to win me back. I'm opening up that they could win me back. But right now, they have to prove it.

If the Jets lose to the Buccaneers and their backup offensive line, defensive coordinator Aaron Glenn should be fired

I was saying if, if the, if the defense gets embarrassed by an all backup offensive line... he should probably be [fired]. Must compete. I wanna see a competitive football team.

The Packers fleeced the Cowboys in the Micah Parsons trade

Packers fleeced... yes this is a cope and then I'm gonna mute the whole thing. This is crazy... will there be a player in the next two drafts in the, let's call it 15 to 25 range, where the packers will most likely be picking that will be better than Micah Parsons? The answer is no.

Kirk Cousins is a better quarterback than Justin Fields

Kirk Cousins is a better quarterback than Justin Fields memes... I'm just telling you like, that is a, your season might end up turning. That's where I'm trying to come from. Like that's a guy who you could maybe go a little bit further in the season.

The Eagles fleeced the Commanders in the Jahan Dotson trade

I like Jahan Dotson, a Penn State fan who's a beast at Penn State. Good wide receiver three. Give up a third, get back a fifth. Very happy. Fleeced. Fleeced.

I will start carrying a purse and painting my nails if the Bears start winning

I won't apologize for getting triggered by Caleb Williams. 'Cause then after the show on Wednesday, he went viral again. 'Cause he has a purse. I'm gonna get the same purse and I'm gonna start carrying it around. Listen, my guard is up... If we start winning football games, I'm paint my nails.

Caleb Williams is the Ben Simmons of the NFL

I've been thinking about Caleb Williams. There's, there's a player that he reminds me of. Little bit of a diva off the court. Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. A can't miss prospect. ... Ben Simmons. Ben Simmons was the next LeBron. ... Ben Simmons was a can't miss prospect. ... Both teams missed the [college] playoffs... Think about Ben Simmons.

The Bears are coming to get everyone in the NFL this year

My son, who's four ... keeps saying that the bears are coming to get him. I feel like that's a good thing for the bears season. ... The monsters of the midway are back.

Will Compton is a next-level athlete and I couldn't make a play on him in one-on-ones

I barked up the wrong tree. I was feeling myself at Tight End University... and I challenged Will Compton to one-on-ones and I got the clamps put on me. I tried to run a couple fades on him and failed and you know, looking back, the best man won. He just plays next-level defense and I couldn't get it over... my brain's just testing my body all the time.

Juju Smith-Schuster is a piece of shit and AJ Brown would beat him up

He's a piece of shit. Like, I don't know who he thinks he is... AJ Brown would beat the absolute fucking... AJ Brown would've. AJ Brown basically said, said that he would, he would beat the fuck out of him if he's keep talking about him.

Anthony Richardson will be the #1 overall pick in the NFL Draft

I'm all the way back in on Anthony Richardson... he also knows I love value... Anthony Richardson +10,000 or whatever, 100 to 1 to go number one... I'm reading all the articles, trying to just will him to somehow become the number one overall pick.

Turnovers increase the likelihood of succeeding on a 4th down or 2-pt conversion via 'vibe' multipliers

Basically the percentage of converting a two point conversion or on fourth down basically gets increased depending on what type of turnover happens before that possession... after an interception, a fourth down conversion or a two point conversion increases by let's say 110%.

Andrew Luck was a 'busted chaw' and is an overrated quarterback

Andrew luck busted chaw, badge for town. Okay. Fact game over and debate. I've had people fucking bitching and complaining... Andrew luck was great? Even though he was four and four in the playoffs. And then they're like, oh, it was offensive line. They had a great offensive line and he quit.

I was the first to report that Trevor Penning is a savage

There's this dude I've been watching since early college... Trevor Penning. I kind of feel like one of those guys, like I was following them when they're small. So now basically he just got kicked out of Saints camp for going too hard. He's an absolute animal... now everyone's on it... I was there when he was doing this. Just make sure the internet knows that Billy had it first.

Ryan Fitzpatrick will return from retirement halfway through the 2022 season

Ryan Fitzpatrick just retired. Ah, damn. He'll be back. Yeah. That's not a real retirement. No chance. Halfway through the season, somebody gets hurt. [He'll be] back. No chance.

I am steadfastly committed to Carson Wentz conversion therapy

I'm still I'm, I'm steadfast. I'm committed to the Carson Wentz conversion therapy. I'm moving forward with it. Very happy with him as my quarterback.

The weekly NFL MVP award has tarnished the importance of the actual MVP

The importance of the MVP award has been tarnished. Now they're doing one weekly. I don't like that.

The Washington Football Team will win the NFC East and beat the Cardinals in the playoffs

I officially care, and I think that they're going to beat the Steelers on Monday... I think that the football team is going to win the division at 6-10, maybe even 7-9. I think that we're going to win a home playoff game against the Arizona Cardinals.

The Steelers have zero chance of winning the Super Bowl

It's the Steelers to win the Super Bowl 55 to 1 and I'm sitting here watching them go 11 and 0 and being like, well, it doesn't really matter... In the back of my head, I'm like, no chance. Zero percent chance.

The Chicago Bears can win the NFC North

I am all-in on Graham Mertz and in conjunction with thinking that Wisconsin is going to win the Big Ten West... I made a prediction today the totally won't blow up in my face. And that is that the Chicago Bears can win the NFC North they can.

Mitch Trubisky is going to win 10 games for the Bears this year

I fully believe that Mitch Trubisky is going to win the Bears 10 games. No, he is going to personally win 10 games. I can't wait for Mitch Trubisky screenshot season to come back. He's become a punch line, and you know what? He's about to punch back. Big time.

Bill Belichick won't care about Gronk leaving; he will just view it as getting a draft pick for nothing

There's not a single person better equipped to have like two of his star players leave him willingly than Bill Belichick... He'll probably get a great draft pick for and just keep moving on like not even think about... he would absolutely get something for nothing because Rob's not coming back to play.

Tom Brady will sign with the Tennessee Titans in free agency

PFT's fire fest is he has to be the one to break news to you that Tom Brady's going to the Titans. Giselle was allegedly touring a school, an all-boys high school in Nashville, Tennessee. Connecting the dots.

I actually think I am going to make the DC Defenders XFL team as a kicker

They suggested, as a joke, that the DC team they don't have a kicker right now... I started practicing, and now I actually think that I'm going to make the team... I want to be a professional football player. I want to make this team. And I believe that.

If the Bears beat the Rams, they are going to the playoffs

I legitimately 100% have bought into the fact that if the Bears beat the Rams on Sunday night, they're going to the playoffs.

The Washington Redskins are more likely to win a World Series than a Super Bowl in the next five years

I said earlier today that I think the Redskins are more likely to win a World Series than they are Super Bowl in the next five years. Yeah, I'd agree. I'd agree just just by like a random shit show of occurrences that somehow become a major league team.

Betting every single moneyline underdog is a winning strategy

I love 11 Moneyline underdogs. ... It worked out really well for me last week, and I'm very concerned because I know it's probably not going to work out as well. ... I've convinced so many people in the office that it's a winning strategy.

Mike Allstott is a sellout because he is a high school coach who doesn't use a fullback

Mike Allstott, one of my heroes, all-time fullback... is a sellout. He's a high school coach, and he doesn't use a fullback in his offense.

The AAF was a Fire Fest run by people with no plan

It is hilarious to just imagine Bill Polian as being Billy McFarland. Like, drinking like rock stars, fucking like porn stars speech. I guarantee you Bill has said that at some point... Instead of cocaine and tequila on a private island, it was like tortilla chips and a nice beer, just hanging out watching tape.

The Carolina Panthers will be on Hard Knocks in 2019

I'm predicting the Panthers for hard knocks officially... they got it in my head, so now I'm just going with it. They have a new owner. We're going to spend three episodes with him, talk about him getting adjusted to the NFL.