Takes

Tiger Woods will not make the cut at the 2024 Masters

Tiger's not making the cut this year. I mean, think about the Masters is though... he might. I think Tiger probably 50-50, right?

Max Homa needs to be more of an asshole to win major championships

I do like [Max Homa], but I think he has that Rory disease... He wants to be liked too much. He's a very nice guy. But I want him to be more of an asshole because I think assholes win these things.

Ludvig Åberg is a future true superstar built in a lab

This Ludvig guy from Sweden's my new favorite golfer. He's just built in a lab. Perfect swing, stallion, 6'3". I think he's gonna end up being a true superstar.

I know now that my great golf is good enough to win a major

I know for a fact my great golf's good enough. It just needs to come out the right week. So let's just hope it's this week. It's a big difference. It's, it's a little bit more calming knowing that like, it doesn't need to be perfect. It just needs to be good. I've done that enough times to know. I think it would be the pressure on Sunday, that would be the most unique thing. But as far as the golf goes, like I think fortunately I've lived enough of this golf, these golf like experiences to know like I can physically do what needs to be done.

The best way to play golf is to simply not think about anything

Three of your 10 lessons, were just don't think... that's honestly Fellas. That's the best way to be. It's like, I just kept on scrolling and I was like, wait, we're not, oh, just a reminder. But don't you think that if you're telling everyone to not think about anything now they're thinking about not thinking about anything, which is perfect. That's right where I want 'em.

I would not leave the Masters if I were winning, even for the birth of my first child

If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave. First kid. I agree with you. First kid. First kid. I would first kid if I was winning the Masters. If I was winning the Masters, I would not leave.

Walking nine holes is the best way to experience golf

If you find a course and you find like a, a slot of time where You can walk, it's amazing. I sound kinda like the old like romanticism of golf guy... recently, within the last couple years I would walk nine holes, never 18. I'm gonna die out there if I walk. But if I walk nine holes, it's fucking beautiful. Yeah. Because in a cart you almost aren't looking at the scenery around you.

Tiger Woods was better at golf when he was 'dirtier' and having more sex

Tiger was at his best when... the grip of his putter smelled like absolute shit from his hands. Perkins waitresses. The dirtier Tiger was the better golf. Yeah. When he was getting it in the hole. Now he's gonna not do, maybe he just can't have sex 'cause he like, he can't walk.

Masters TV coverage is a joke because fans can't watch it all live

Best golf tournament of the year. And we cannot watch all of it live in 2024. It's a joke. Put it all on TV or online. I don't care. But I wanna watch it Thursday morning.

The 2024 Masters will have an asterisk because Taylor Gooch wasn't invited

Brooks' teammate on Smash Taylor Gooch was interviewed... and he said he's going to be an asterisk. It's just a reality. Taylor Gooch will always remember as the masters that didn't have Taylor Gooch.

Tiger Woods is officially over the hill

I think Tiger might be a little bit over the hill. I think it might have happened. I want him to be in these events 'cause it's fun when he is there. But it also is a bummer when he has to withdraw.

The rule that disqualified Jordan Spieth for an incorrect scorecard is the dumbest rule ever

That Jordan Spieth rule was the, it's the dumbest rule ever because it's not even his, it's his partner filling out the scorecard and he signs it. That's stupid.

The Waste Management Phoenix Open should remain a drunken chaos event

This is what the Waste Management is and I always had the feeling that golfers begrudgingly said, like, we love it... don't try to change it. I want more. I want guys getting stronger, stealing golf clubs and shit.

Max Homa will win a major championship this year

Max Homa is gonna win a major this year. I think this year. Hundred percent.

Charlie Woods is going to completely transform the game of golf

I think when all is said and done, Charlie Woods is gonna be the guy that completely transforms golf. Agreed. Yeah. He's gonna break the, break the mold.

Charlie Woods is on pace to win 40 majors

Charlie Woods just won a tournament. Charlie won a tournament... right now he's on pace to win 40 Majors, which is pretty incredible.

I believe I can win 12 majors in my career

I feel like I can get to 12. I mean, think how many, I've already blown like... I feel like I should have nine right now.

Justin Thomas is a killer in international play and belongs on the Ryder Cup team

Justin Thomas is a killer in international play. That's a fact. ... Justin Thomas 16 and 5 [in international play]. ... How do you say no to that? Hank? That's a resume pick. ... He's a fucking killer when he plays an international play.

Selecting Justin Thomas for the Ryder Cup is a risky pick given his current form

He's not playing good golf right now. ... I just feel bad for, you know, Keegan and the guys. ... It's a risky pick in my opinion. ... Imagine if he performs badly. The final day is 12 singles matches. If he performs badly, everyone would be like, why would you pick a person who didn't even make the FedEx Cup playoffs?

Donald Trump is the best golfer in the United States

Rick Re says that it wasn't actually 67. I don't be a hater, Rick. He says it was more like an 86... [Trump] is the best golfer in the United States.

It would be crazy if I didn't get a Ryder Cup pick

I've been in the getting a pick category this whole time. I felt like last week, last week solidified it. Where now I think it would be crazy if I didn't.

Doubling the first hole of a major is the best time to do it

If you're going to make a double bogey right. Might as well be that the first hole of the tournament when you have 71 holes to make it up or like Scottie [Scheffler] did the year before, do it on the last hole when you already know you've won and you can afford to do it.

Home support is a major factor in winning the Ryder Cup

Whistling Straits was a shame because we didn't have, because of COVID, European fans couldn't travel. ... I mean, fully deserved to win. There's no doubt about that. I just think home support goes a long way. And I think that that will play a, play a big role in Rome.

Phil Mickelson is actually a pretty good gambler for only losing 10% of $1 billion

If we dive into Phil's gambling career, he's lost I think a hundred million dollars. Right? ... I'm gonna say that Phil Mickelson is a pretty good gambler. He's only lost 10%.

SEC football fans are more intimidating than English golf fans

They were saying short stuff, 'you're gonna choke', 'you don't have the stones for this', 'f you'. But I'm an SEC football fan. It's like, bro, y'all are killing me. There's nothing compared to Death Valley. Go to LSU on a Saturday night. You'll hear way worse.

Brian Harman is the Ben Simmons of golf

He's right-handed, but he plays left-handed. Love it. He's the Ben Simmons of golf.

I'm officially off the Rory McIlroy train

I'm off Rory officially. Okay. All right. Well it's, I'm officially off Rory now. It's gonna be 10 years going into the next season, right? Yeah. It's been 10 years. He'll never win a major Championship.

Rory McIlroy's focus on the FedEx Cup is 'loser talk'

[Rory] said, I don't think that way. I think about trying to go and win a fourth FedEx here in a couple weeks. Go try and win a fifth race to Dubai. Go and win a fifth rider cup. I just keep looking forward that my friends is loser talk. FedEx Cup means nothing.

Every golf course should have pot bunkers

I like the open just because the course, like every course should have the bunkers that that England has because when you hit in a bunker, it should be punitive. You should be fucked. You should be totally fucked. Yeah. And that's what happens in these I want pop bunkers in every golf course. Like that's it, it it, everything is harder. And I like that.

I love golf courses that make pro golfers look as unathletic as regular people

I just love a course that makes everyone look at moments like they're us out there. Wyndham Clark had one of the most unathletic swings I've ever seen in my life... I bravo. Good job [Royal Liverpool].

LIV Golf players sold their souls and should be shunned by golf fans

I hope everybody in LIV dies in a fiery boat accident. I hate LIV, I hate the whole idea. But imagine you guys, if they took half the NFL and said, 'hey, half the teams are gonna move to Saudi Arabia, we're gonna pay 'em five times what they're worth'... That's what happened to my sport... Tiger didn't [take the money]. And so I love Tiger for that.

The Masters is the best major, but the American Century celebrity tournament is second

I'd go Masters still first. I'd go American Century second. I have Steph Curry this week to finish top 10... A good British Open is like tied second with a Ryder Cup for me. But I would say Masters first no matter what.

Brooks Koepka at 18-to-1 is the best value to win the Open Championship

I like Brooks [Koepka] a lot this week. Whenever we go into these majors, he's right there with the top three or four guys... except he's whatever, 18 to one. And you've got Rory... at plus six 50. I'm taking Brooks Koepka, I watched his presser, he seemed incredibly confident.

Rory McIlroy will not win a major in a 10-year span

It's now 10 years since this guy won a major Championship... at some point he's gonna win one of these, he's gonna stumble. I am rooting against Rory McIlroy because if he loses this, that's now 10 years since this guy won a major Championship, which is wild.

Rory McIlroy will miss the cut at the Open Championship

I have a hot take. I think he's going to miss the cut. Yeah, I think everything, because the last time they played here [Royal Liverpool] was the last time he won a major... it's almost too much of a storybook ending and I think he's just going to come out and blow up.

Charlie Woods will start his own professional golf league

Tiger Woods' father Charlie is gonna start his own golf league. A professional golf league. Outside. That's why he has him a commenting.

Mohammed bin Salman will buy the LPGA and ban drivers for women

I'm just gonna say that Mohammed bin Salman is gonna buy the LPGA and the women aren't gonna be allowed to use drivers anymore.

I blew the lead at the Masters because Blakes don't win anything

I decided to blow the lead at the Masters because Blakes don't win anything. Right? Yep. So I figured that that was my way in, unfortunately, a couple weeks before I won [the PGA], but yeah, I figured that was... Blakes haven't won anything.

Golf ball manufacturers should put tracking chips in balls to prevent loss

They need to make a fucking golf ball with a chip in it that you can locate on your phone when you lose it in the Woods or in a bush or in tall grass. ... Let's make a golf ball with a chip in it. We we're way overdue for that

Jordan Spieth is wearing a cheap $500 Instagram ad suit that hides 'fat and frumpy' bodies

Jordan Spieth has a lot, a lot of money. But I think I have that same suit and I understand what happened. ... I think he's wearing a $500 Instagram suit. ... It's a stretchy material that doesn't iron well. And so it's like, it's like a, it's like almost like a, it's like an Under Armour shirt in a suit form.

To fix a slice, you should just hit the ball as hard as you can

The biggest misconception is to swing easy and try to like, like if you're like, when I'm at my most nervous, sometimes I swing as hard as I can... especially if you ease into it, you're gonna slice, you're gonna hit it to the right. So if I was you guys, just hit it as hard as you can.

Golf is better when fans have specific players to root against like Brooks Koepka

Biggest pet peeves about golf is that no matter who wins, we all say yay at the end of it... You rally around one guy, right? And that's what you also need to be able to rally against one guy... Frankie has been going against Brooks for a few years now.

Tiger Woods will win another major championship

I'm standing behind my guy. Tiger Woods wins another major. For sure.

Modern golf has a serious ball problem because courses are becoming too easy

When I watched Keegan Bradley play, I was like, okay, golf does have a ball problem. Yeah, I mean it, it was an embarrassment to the game of golf. They're making the courses too easy. It's the balls actually, right?

The Los Angeles Country Club was a terrible course for the US Open.

The Big Loser this weekend was the course. That course sucked. I disavowed that course. They should take it off because there was no big game feeling with this course. It was a soft course.

If Rory McIlroy doesn't win the Open Championship this year, the narrative will become that he will never win another major.

I think if he doesn't win the open championship this year, then I think start of next season, Rory [McIlroy] will never win a major championship. It goes back to that conversation.

My struggles in Majors are due to being too anxious and trying too hard

I can just tell I'm like more anxious, trying too hard... it's not a mental block. It's like I know what I'm doing but I just feel more like high strung, more wound up instead of just playing golf.

The winning score of the 2023 US Open will be 6 to 8 under par

I think honestly I think winner will probably be six to eight under.

I am going to win the US Open this weekend

[PFT: Are you gonna win?] Brooks Koepka: I mean, that's why I'm on here. Yeah.

Jay Monahan is the biggest scumbag in the world

Jay Monahan, the biggest scumbag in the world, the biggest scumbag in the world. He invoked 9/11 if they were to accept a hundred million dollars to go play golf on the LIV tour. So he said that to his players with a straight face. He brought in 9/11 families to act as a human shield for what he was doing behind the scenes, which was negotiating with the LIV tour.