Takes

Max Homa must make a Sunday cut in a Major to be seen as more than a Twitter personality

I think the answer is actually the same. It's you gotta be like competitive on a Sunday in a Major and then it goes away... you need to be in the mix on, you know, a Sunday in Augusta.

Having PFT and I as caddies will be a huge advantage for Brooks Koepka

I honestly think that having me and PFT on the bag is going to be a huge advantage for [Brooks Koepka] for at least like the first hole until Big Cat and I get too tired. It's gonna inevitably ask him to just carry his own club. It's going to be an emotional jolt for about 15 minutes for him.

Tiger Woods' nickname is better than any other because it's synonymous with his dominance

This one is another synonymous name. It's an all time nickname... it is Tiger Woods. He's Eldrick Woods. His nickname is Tiger. It was given to him when he was a kid. There's nothing better. Like when he's in his red shirt on a Sunday hunting down his prey, Tiger Woods.

I will get an Olympic rings tattoo if I win the gold medal at the Tokyo Olympics.

If I win, I'll think about it and go on from there... [Big Cat: outsource it for you, where our listeners decide] That's where I may get the tattoo if I win gold. Yes, there's a lot of stipulations to this.

Winning The Open Championship is arguably more prestigious than winning The Masters

It's a low-key great trophy. I actually have a part of me that thinks I would rather win the Open Championship than the Masters. It's just so much class... just for so many years after the fact, you just get to hear Scottish people address you as the open championship winner.

Bryson DeChambeau is 'unworkable' as a brand spokesperson

Do you know how big of a dickhead you have to be to get fired as a spokesperson for somebody... and they're about to fire him? Like the guy that they went out and begged to be a part of the team and be the face of Cobra drivers, they're like, 'Fuck, we can't work with this guy. He's unworkable.' He is never happy.

Olympic drug testing will expose golfers with suspicious size increases

The Olympics are coming up around the corner... guess what sport is also in the Olympics and they're starting to do the eligibility for? Golf. So you know, if you see any like discrepancies in people's drive [and] their size compared to their size maybe two years ago... They don't drug test in the PGA. [The IOC tests] are pretty hard.

Phil Mickelson is the only reason The Match is successful

Phil Mickelson, he's the guy. He's the guy who makes [The Match] go, and he gets all the credit in my mind for being just fun to be around.

I will never be 'Team Bryson' and his caddy quitting is his own fault

I will never in my entire life be team Bryson ever... If he keeps having everyone in his life quit on him, I will continue silently feeling a little bit bad for the guy because I have a heart. [But] the guy makes millions of dollars playing golf and he's got [no friends] because of himself. That should be a wake-up call.

I will wear red every Sunday until Tiger Woods returns to golf

I always wear red every Sunday. Every Sunday until Tiger's back. I'm going to catch you. That's a fact. I've been doing it since he got hurt. Months. Yeah, months and months.

Bryson DeChambeau is a mentally weak golfer and a quitter.

We call him a lot of stuff, but we've never called him a quitter until today. And he quit when his giant cleats didn't save him... At that point, Bryson was like, I don't want to be out here anymore. And he quit. He is a mentally weak golfer.

Bryson DeChambeau is a 'pussy' for refusing to play with Brooks Koepka

Bryson sucks today. Brooks is awesome. Bryson sucks. Brooks was tied for the lead. And then because Bryson didn't want to play with Brooks because he's too big of a pussy to do it, he had to play with a harder course in the afternoon, which basically skulls fucked him.

Bryson DeChambeau has a weak legal case for 'mental harm' regarding the 'Brooksy' chants

I think, you know, it's like any case that there is, I think it's a weak case that he has... How does he prove his damages? Does he go and see a doctor and say, doctor, because of these assholes in Pardon My Take, I can't play anymore?

Everyone on the PGA Tour is living rent-free in Bryson DeChambeau's head

Everyone is in Brooksy's head at this point. It's an orphanage. All the problem children of the PGA Tour and the fans are allowed to live now rent-free in Brooksy's... Are we going to just call him Brooksy from now on?

Golf rivalries and fans hating players are good for the game

Golf should be fun. Rivalries are fun. Having guys hate each other is fun. Being able to hate another golfer as a fan is fun. All of these things make watching golf more enjoyable, and grows the game. You cannot tell me otherwise.

Bryson DeChambeau's U.S. Open win is a 'Mickey Mouse' major championship

Also Bryson, he has a Mickey Mouse U.S. Open. Can we admit that? Oh, here's something I'll just throw out there. It's a Mickey Mouse major championship. There are no fans.

Bryson DeChambeau is going to get injured due to terrible lifting form

He's got bad form. He's going to get injured. Terrible form. I don't want him to get injured, but he's going to get injured. He was trying to do hammer curls... with 100 pounds just for the gram. He was using his shoulders. Popcorn muscles.

Brooks Koepka would have won the PGA Championship by 15 strokes if his knee was healthy

[Brooks Koepka's] knee is hurting him, and he wasn't able to get all the way low to read putts, and the putter is what kind of killed him today and this weekend. So Ipso facto, he probably would have won this tournament by 15 strokes if his knee was okay.

I could shoot the same score in the PGA Championship playing left-handed

What would you shoot if you had to play the PGA Championship left-handed? [Koepka]: Probably the same as I would right-handed, honestly. ... I have no idea. I just know just swing as hard as you can from the other side of the ball.

My performance at the Masters was one of the most heroic things ever done

And I started talking about how heroic it was [playing the Masters injured], and people took great umbrage with that comment... You agree. [Koepka]: I couldn't have agreed anymore. Absolutely. I mean, it might have been one of the most heroic things ever done.

Tony Romo is a genius when it comes to the mechanics of a golf swing

The guy is a genius when it comes to the mechanics. Like he understands people's golf swings better than I even think some coaches do with their students just because he sits there and he studies them nonstop.

Tony Romo is good enough to play at the PGA Tour level on his best days

So his good days are totally good enough to play at tour level. Um, it's just the bad is just where he's got to fix it and you know i think he's a great chipper and putter he's a pretty good iron player.

Tiger Woods would have won the 2021 Masters if he had been able to play

I think Tiger [Woods] would have won this Masters, I'll be honest with you. I agree.

Hideki Matsuyama should serve blowfish liver at the Champions Dinner next year

If I'm Hideki, I serve blowfish liver and let the chips fall where they may maybe thin out the field a little bit. See who gets poisoned.

Brooks Koepka is a hero for playing the Masters on one leg

We should also say the real winner of this Masters is Brooks Koepka. Competing on one leg like a warrior. Walking paralyzed man. Exactly. So the fact he was even able to get out there and play two rounds of golf. That's impressive.

Will Zalatoris is ready to join the PMT 'stable' of golfers

Will Zalatoris was my guy. I was riding him like a horse. I was hoping that he was going to come through. He is – he's the one to watch. I think we need to get him on the show. I think we need to add him to our stable of Brooks [Koepka], Max Homa, and I think Will Zalatoris is – I think he's ready.

Augusta National is the Kardashians of golf courses

I think that Augusta National is the Kardashians of golf courses because everyone talks about it all the time. It's perfectly manicured. It always makes sure that it's presented in its best light. Even with the papers that they give you, they give you a wrapping paper for a pimento cheese sandwich... That's green, so even if it falls on the ground, you don't see all the trash getting blown around. It's always got its best foot forward, and they will go out of their way to make sure that it is never presented in a frumpy light.

Hideki Matsuyama will light the Olympic torch in Tokyo this summer

Sir Nick [Faldo] had an awesome take, and this was when there were still nine holes of golf left to play. He said, I think that if he wins, Hideki will be the one who lights the Olympic torch this summer. What do you think about that?

Bryson DeChambeau struggled at the Masters because he lacked specific yardage books

Augusta National, they don't provide [yardage books]... I almost wonder if it kind of jams up [Bryson DeChambeau's] airspace, so to speak, because you've got to sort it out completely on your own, and I think that's why you hear people talk so much about local knowledge and about playing here for years.

Winning the Masters will eventually be worth over $1 billion to Hideki Matsuyama

Andy North kept saying to me, you cannot comprehend the amount of pressure that's on this young man's shoulders... He's like, this is worth a billion dollars to him... This guy's 29 years old. He's got to have, you know, give him 40 years of being able to be, I'm the Masters champion in Japan. He's like, you could be a nine figure a year guy... David Duval... told me this morning, he goes, look, that's not, that's not crazy at all. He said, it might be conservative.

Augusta National pipes in bird noises for the Masters broadcast

I'm more convinced than ever that the birds are actually piped in crowd noise. Agreed. There's one bird in particular. They play its call over and over and over. It's a cardinal, I think. They're getting sloppy with it. I think it might be a whippoorwill. But whatever it is, it's very obvious.

Bryson DeChambeau looks fat when he is playing poorly

When you're bigger and you're doing well, you're strong. And when you're doing poorly, you're fat. And he looks fat today. Not to body shame, but there's something about the plus four next to his name that the strength now becomes a little pudgy.

Brooks Koepka playing the Masters on one leg is the most heroic thing ever

Brooks is playing on basically one leg. It's probably the most heroic thing I've ever seen in any sport ever. And again, we're not making excuses. We're not biased. We're stating facts. This is like Willis Reed. This is Kirk Gibson.

The Masters is the best 'come down' from the stress of March Madness

There's nothing better, though, than the Masters come down from the March Madness. It is really the greatest... Like set up because it's high impact, high stress sports watching for three, four weeks. And then you get the most low impact, good on your knees, napping on the couch in and out the best type of sports watching.

Disc golf is the number one sport in Finland

I believe disc golf is the number one sport in Finland. Yeah, so over there it's absolutely crazy... there'll be 5,000 people walking down the sides of the fairways. It's insane.

The disc golf ranking system should be abolished because it is too subjective

I would say the easiest answer is to get rid of ratings... in disc golf, everyone has a handicap, essentially. And that handicap is highly the most important thing... and it's also very subjective how you get your handicap... There needs to be an actual ranking system based off of how you finish in a tournament versus what your score was.

Max Homa should be cancelled for not wearing red and black in honor of Tiger Woods

We have a stay classy for our guy, Max Homa, who did not wear red on Sunday in honor of Tiger Woods. Shame. Who does he think he is? ... Max, you're cancelled.

I can win the Masters this year

I think I have a better chance than I did last year... I think we're climbing. We're definitely trending... I can win the Masters. It's definitely possible. I'm going to try super hard.

PGA Tour golfers are higher-level athletes relative to their sport than any other professional athletes

I actually say a lot that I think that PGA Tour golfers are better at their sport than any other professional athlete is at their sport, if that makes any sense. If you threw me in an NBA game, I'll look like Sean Bradley. Throw me on the tour, I'll shoot 100 and quit.

Tony Finau is officially cursed by the Puerto Rico Open

Tony Finau is officially cursed... There's a legitimate curse out there, and I'm so fucking in on it. So the Puerto Rico Open, Puerto Rico Open, that is the one win that Tony Finau has... 11-year history. No winner has gone on to win any other tournament after they won the Puerto Rico Open.

Jordan Spieth is now a likable underdog because he has been so bad

Everyone likes Jordan Spieth because he's been so bad and such a head case for so long that he gets the pity... now he's an underdog despite the fact that he's won millions and millions of dollars playing golf.

The eagle on the 17th hole at the Waste Management Open was 'stupid luck'

No, that was just dumb luck that it went in. That was just real dumb luck... I'll be honest with you, it shouldn't have gone [in]. That's just stupid luck, man.

Patrick Reed is objectively good for the sport of golf because he's a villain

If you're a golf fan and you're so angry at Patrick Reed that you want him out of golf, you have to question whether you're a golf fan. Because guys who get this type of reaction on a Saturday afternoon in January on a tournament... That's good for golf.

The Masters looks better in November than in April

I think that the Masters looks better in November. I think that the course—I think that it's better as a November tournament than it has ever won... it gives the pine trees more of a shine that often gets overlooked when everyone's talking about the azaleas.

John Rahm's viral skipping shot at the Masters might be doctored

John Rahm hit a shot that walked on water at Augusta... I think that the Masters needs some more Buzz around it because it's not being held at the traditional time. I think that maybe there might be some monkey business afoot here somebody who's better at the internet than me look at the footage and tell me if you think that it's doctored at all.

I can win the 2020 Masters

Can you win? That's a that's a great question. Yes would be answer one. Yeah. Yes, like literally and like technically I think I can. Oh, yeah, I mean that's the goal.

Bryson DeChambeau's 48-inch driver is cheating

I've never even tried 48 inch driver, but I would be lying if I said Bryson's not making me like kind of considering... sounds like it's cheating. I think it's cheating. [Big Cat: We decided it is cheating.] I'm a third party so that's not you as the fans can decide.

Brooks Koepka will dominate The Masters

My who's back is Brooks Koepka. Yeah Brooks Koepka is back. It's a major. He's gonna dominate I'm certain of it... Masters are here. He's locked in and for the first time in a long time, it looks like he has an actual rival.

Many are questioning the validity of Bryson DeChambeau's US Open win because Brooks Koepka was injured

Bryson DeChambeau... emerge victorious to win his first ever major. Many are questioning the validity of this win as two-time US Open Champion Brooks Koepka did not participate due to injury.

Jon Rahm's win shows that golf is officially having a massive moment in America

Golf is having a moment. I think it has happened... What America needs right now more than anything is something like we need a miracle.