Takes

The Seattle Kraken are for real and could win the Stanley Cup

No, they're for real. They just, so I, I didn't trust them against the Champs either. But Seattle is just such a disciplined team. They have all these castaway type players. I think Seattle could win it all.

The Devils are a dark horse to win the Stanley Cup if they can outrun the Hurricanes

I would have my dark horse right now being down two one to Carolina... I think New Jersey, I still see something in New Jersey. I might be dead wrong, but that's probably the dark horse and best odds right now.

The Maple Leafs' round one series win doesn't count if they get swept in the second round

Do we count the Leafs getting into the second round if they don't win a game? I don't think it counts. If they don't win a single game in the second round, I don't think they got to the second round.

The Islanders will win three games in a row to take the series from the Hurricanes

Win on Tuesday. Win on Thursday. Win on Saturday... blowouts happen all the time in the playoffs... we'll just do it.

I will smoke crack if the Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup

I'll smoke crack if the, if the [Maple Leafs] win the Stanley Cup. How about that? I'll match. I'll take a hit of secondhand crack.

Canadians run funny because they skate from such a young age and don't look like athletes when they are off the ice

The chaos are a team of Canadians and what's really funny is they all run funny because they're all Canadians and Canadians all run funny cuz they all played hockey. Yeah. So you see them trotting around. This is true... hockey development from skating from such a young age and they don't run. Right. This is true. I've never seen hockey players like play pickup basketball... they don't even look like they athlete off the ice.

The winner of the Rangers-Devils series will play the Bruins in the Eastern Conference Final

Rangers Devils winner, I think goes on and plays the Bruins in the Eastern Conference final.

The best value bet for the NHL playoffs is Igor Shesterkin to win the Conn Smythe

If you like the Rangers... the only way they're gonna win the Stanley Cup is if [Shesterkin] stands on his head, you take him Conn Smythe plus 2300. That's a good card. I like that.

I'm a 'belief' this year: the Maple Leafs will win the Stanley Cup

I'm a belief this year... I took the Leafs to win the Stanley Cup. I believe in the Leafs.

If Connor McDavid doesn't win the Stanley Cup this year, he is a 'bum'

My big bet is gonna be on the Oilers... because I'm sick of you telling me how Connor McDavid's the best athlete in all of sports... this is a personal one-on-one legacy match... If he doesn't win the cup this year, he is a bum.

The winner of the Oilers-Kings series will reach the Stanley Cup Final

I said today on Chiclets that the winner of that series is gonna go to the cup final. Ooh. And LA right now... they're 25 to one... but the winner of that series goes to the cup final.

The Bruins will beat the Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final

My final matchup is Bruins Oilers... and I don't see them [the Bruins] losing. I think they get it done. So Bruins over Oilers.

The Rangers will beat the Oilers in the Stanley Cup Final

I'm on Oilers out of the west and the Rangers out of the east. We're gonna see a parade in Manhattan.

The Bruins are the greatest regular season hockey team ever and will dominate the playoffs

I'm all out on this team. This team is different. They're the greatest hockey team I've ever watched in the regular season. They're the greatest regular season team of all time. They're gonna dominate, they're gonna run through these playoffs.

Connor Bedard is the next Connor McDavid

Connor Bedard is being touted as basically another McDavid. ... he's messy of hockey is the way he's being touted as right now. And I think with the way that the games changes game is changing where it all speed skill, I think that he can come in and be that guy.

The Colorado Avalanche will repeat as Stanley Cup champions

I think the abs [Avalanche] unfortunately will probably beat the Oilers again in the Western Conference final. And I'm picking the abs to win again.

There is a good chance the 1980 Soviet hockey team threw the Miracle on Ice game for money

I was thinking what, there's probably a pretty good chance that, that Russian team threw the game. Right? Cause like they were, they were bigger, older, stronger professional hockey players... It wouldn't be above like corrupt Russians to take a shitload of money on the side.

The Tampa Bay Lightning will come back and win the 2022 Stanley Cup

Tampa is coming back and winning this thing really? But I've been, I've been on Tampa for the past two years. I've picked them the wind, the last two cups. And I picked them again this year. Cause I won't pick them until they lose.

I'm betting on the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup at +220 after their Game 1 loss

I think I'm going to take the Lightning at like plus 220... the Lightning forcing that to overtime, it felt like [the Avalanche] win Game 1, game over, but Lightning have done this before, come out slow... and they came back and fought hard.

The Lightning will win the Stanley Cup because Andrei Vasilevskiy is the best goalie in the world

I lean towards goaltending. It's like having the number one ACE pitcher. It's like having the best quarterback, having the goal, the goalie that is the best in the world. It's like, how am I going to pick against that? I've honestly also said I will not pick against tip until they lose. I picked him to win the past two Stanley cups.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are top-three all-time NHL dynasties if they win a third straight Cup

With the parody in today and the salary cap, I have to put them top three greatest teams of all time. And people will say that's such recency bias, but not 32 teams in the league back then.

I want to bet on the Lightning to win the Stanley Cup despite being underdogs

The Lightning... I think I kind of want to bet on the Lightning to win this series. They just don't lose. Everything says that the Avalanche are the best team in the NHL, but then it tells me like, guess what? The Avalanche—maybe I'll wait till the Avalanche win the first two games... then the Lightning are like, 'all right, now we're going to start playing.'

The New York Rangers are the team of destiny

The New York Rangers are one game away from the Stanley Cup final let's go. Congratulations. New York. I just got vibes right now coming from New York Rangers. They feel like the team of destiny. They got the hottest goaltender in the planet.

Evander Kane should have been suspended for the remainder of the series for his hit on Nazem Kadri

My opinion on it, because [Nazem] Kadri is out the rest of the series, [Evander] Kane should be out the rest of the series. ... It was a dirty play, whether it was by accident or not.

If the Rangers win the Stanley Cup this year, they are poised to win a second one in the near future

If [the Rangers] win one, they might get fucking two in this next stretch. And they're going to be fucking bending me over. No spit, no lube, sandpaper finish.

The Hurricanes will sweep the Rangers

Big Canes fan now. Canes in four. They can't lose at home.

The Maple Leafs will win Game 7 against the Lightning

The fear in the city of Toronto on Saturday morning, waking up is going to be at an all time high. ... I'm nervous for them, but I think they're going to win...

The Capitals can force a Game 7 because they have found a reliable goalie in Ilya Samsonov.

I actually don't [think it's curtains] because they have a goalie, they found a goalie... Samsonov last night and every game pretty much has been really solid since he came in. I think the capitals can at least force game seven.

I won't pick against the Lightning until they actually lose a series

I said I won't pick against them [Lightning] until they don't win. So I am on the Lightning. I want the Lightning, but I'm going to be very surprised if the Avs don't win the Stanley Cup.

The NHL is potentially rigged for certain ratings-friendly matchups

The whole debate that we were having last night about the NHL being rigged? Because I think that you're insane for not thinking... the NHL would prefer to have caps first penguins. One last showdown between [Ovechkin and Crosby].

I am fully bought in on the Capitals because they have magic on the team

My confidence is at a 10 right now, Jake, as a Caps fan I'm fully bought in now. I'm back to thinking that this could be our year. [Ovechkin] looks healthy, he's laying people out. That was a shit pumping that we saw on Saturday... there's a little bit of magic on this team. It might happen again.

This is the year the Toronto Maple Leafs finally figure it out

Leaf's are fine. They'll figure it out. That's the Leaf's year. I'm still confident in the boys up north.

I'm 79% of the way back to declaring the Capitals are going to win the Cup again

I'm having a hard time believing in these Caps as of eight hours ago. Right now I'm almost fully back. I'm like 79% of the way back to declaring that these Caps are different. That these Caps—it's our year again.

The Tampa Bay Lightning are 'fucked out' and will lose to the Maple Leafs

I just think they're fucked out. You know, when you just been fucking all night long and finally it's 6:00 AM and the sun's coming up and you're like, I'm blowing dust. They went back-to-back, man. A lot of hockey. Your central nervous system can only handle so much. I think that the Tampa Bay Lightning are done.

The St. Louis Blues are a dark horse to win the West after adding Nick Leddy

Let's go St. Louis out of the west... they got Leddy, which not a huge name, but it just filled a hole. And ever since then, they've just been on this massive roll... they were winning 80% of their games, if not more.

The NHL should use a 1-8 seeding draft where the top seeds pick their opponents

I would be okay if they ended up switching the patterns up. It would be the first seed selecting, starting with the first team, they would pick their opponent and then all the way through. I definitely think they should go back one through eight... and then reseed after the first round.

This season is the 'Last Dance' for the Sidney Crosby, Evgeni Malkin, and Kris Letang trio in Pittsburgh

I think this is the last dance... this'll be the group's last time together. They're, you know how they had the one for about this is their, they got that trio. I just don't know with the cap, if they're going to be able to afford all three of them, cause Letang and Malkin are up for contracts.

The New York Rangers will win it all because they finally moved on from Henrik Lundqvist

The narrative that I want get going ... now that the Rangers don't have Lundqvist anymore and they've got a clutch playoff goalie [Igor Shesterkin], this is what they've been missing over all the years. ... It's the Bryce Harper orthosis where after we got rid of him, then the Nats win the title.

We are bringing the Stanley Cup back to Canada by betting on the Flames and Maple Leafs

Big Cat: I've decided I put a future on the Calgary Flames. I'm going to bring a cup to Canada personally... PFT: I'm on the Leafs already. That's the place I'm at. This is their year. ... Big Cat: I just want to bring a cup to the fine people of Canada because I'm sick of them not having a cup. ... PFT: I did also take out a future on the Leafs. I think that they can do it this year.

The Maple Leafs will finally get over the playoff hump this year

I'm confident that they're going to be able to get over that edge this year... I've doubled down on my four skin challenge where I'm going to double down and you can chop my whole cock off and keep it if that fucking team can't make [a run].

The Blackhawks will return to the playoff picture this year

I thought they were the most improved team over the off season... Taves took the whole year off he's back. You got Seth Jones and then Fleury... I think the Hawks are back in the playoff picture.

The Blackhawks will be back in the playoffs this year

I think [the Blackhawks] will be good. Seth Jones getting Marc-Andre Fleury for absolutely nothing... I think they'll be back in the playoffs this year. Let's say that.

Penguin meat would be a delicious treat because of their fat layer

I'm going to go with a penguin. Ooh. I would eat a penguin... And you admit though, like their diet gives them a nice layer of fat. Yeah. It's probably a delicious treat. Yeah. Right.

Stanley Cup is 'Coming Home' for the Montreal Canadiens because they are America's team

I think the Canadiens are now officially America's team. It feels like it's coming home. Is it coming home? It's coming home. It's coming home for the Canadiens.

The Colorado Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup

The Avalanche were the greatest team to never win a Stanley Cup. Yep. I like that. I mean, lamed out... we were told the Avalanche were just going to shit-pump everybody.

The 2021 Stanley Cup Final will be Tampa Bay vs. Colorado

I'm going Tampa, and I think the Avs end up getting it done against the Knights and then smoke the Canadians. And we're looking at Tampa, Colorado, and I think it'll be one of the best cup finals we've ever seen.

The Stanley Cup Final will be the Colorado Avalanche vs. the Tampa Bay Lightning

I would say Colorado, Tampa in the finals. So Tampa will be going for it back to back. ... I would say Colorado, Tampa, and that would be good for hockey. Two Southern markets in the United States thriving.

The Capitals need Tom Wilson to fight Brad Marchand to turn their playoff series against the Bruins around

I actually do think that the best way to turn this series around right now... I think Tom Wilson has to get into a fight. I think he has to try to fight [Brad] Marchand.

This is the Capitals' year to win the Stanley Cup again

I think it's the Caps year again. The Caps year, yeah. The only thing I'm struggling with is I'd like to incorporate Cap into a t-shirt for Caps year.

The Washington Capitals are going to be 'Team of Destiny' because TJ Oshie is playing through the loss of his father

I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes from the Washington Capitals because... TJ Oshie scored a hat trick on the day that his dad passed away. I've loved the guy ever since then... in America, Captain America, I'm starting to get team of destiny vibes.